What's Libra Man thinking?

Hi,I was wondering if you could give me some insight ob whats going on.I've been hanging out with a libra man(30), Monday was 8 out 13 days seeing each other. The first date was on the 23rd ans he was all over me and kept his arms around me the entire date. We met up with my roommate who said wow he really likes you he won't let u go. That night the drinks we had caught up to me and crying saying i was tired of meetibg guys who only wanted one thing and just wanted a guy to see me for me. He just held me and said im very interested, like u and i want to get to know you. The next day he brought me 2 kinds of gatorade and chips bc i didnt know which i wanted and came to cuddle. I ended up drooling on his shoulder (embarrassing) and he said it was cute. He calls me babe and baby, I met his brother at his brothers cookout Sunday and last Thursday I met his dad when I brought him lunch at the house he's renovating!:O. Both times he was kissing, holding my hand and keeping me in his sights. he told me most girls try to force something after the 4th date and it scares him away, but with me it's different . He said he feels comfortable and likes me which was our 3rd date in 3 days. That I was someone he could see himself with and wanted to go with the flow. I totally agreed that's what I wanted. He texted me usually good morning in beautiful and most of the day during the day. Later in the week I had to kinda kick him out thursday bc he got lazy and didnt wanna go meet his friends after being with me but i didnt wanna be a girl who keeps him from his friends so i told him to go and have fun
He went away last friday and I didn't hear from him till I text him Sunday saying I hope u are having a great weekened.
Here's where I'm confused.I saw him Monday and things were great. I wanted to do something sweet and fun( bc I'm a Leo) So I left cookies and creme kisses on his bed in heart shape instead of lips like I originally wanted not having time to do much. I thought about it after and didn't want him to think I was trying to force anything, but see it as light and fun as it was meant. I didn't hear from him much that day like I usually do and he said he was going to work on a car back 45 min away near his parenta and stay there. Tuesday nothing all day and I sent a message I sent this at 340 just to clear the air and back off now.
Hey. I dunno if uve been home since yesterday morning or not but I wanted to leave something fun and sweet to come home to.I hope

I don't mind being told to slow down. I was kinds going off of him. He was going just as fast as me. Lol. I just read about libra hot and cold and that they change their minds easily. I wasn't sure so I asked🙂 I appreciate any insight

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Not sure what that means?

You DO realize your post cut off, right?

No thank u I didn't realize
fun( bc I'm a Leo) So I left cookies and creme kisses on his bed in heart shape instead of lips like I originally wanted not having time to do much. I thought about it after and didn't want him to think I was trying to force anytging, but see it as light and fun as it was meant. I didn't hear from him much that day like I usually do and he said he was going to work on a car back 45 min away near his parenta and stay there. Tuesday nothing all day and I sent a message
I sent this at 340 just to clear the air and back off now.
Hey. I dunno if uve been home since yesterday morning or not but I wanted to leave something fun and sweet to come home to.I hope it was or will b taken light heardly .Hope u have a good rest of the day He hasn't been on the website we met on since the day we met who have is good I guess but tonight i checked and he had logged in an hour before me.I was going with the flow and didn't want to scare him_??__—. I dunno if he's backing away or if he's just thinking things iver. Any suggestions?

Posted by tiziani
Oh dear, you're tracking this guy's internet behaviour? Quit while you're ahead. It will only drive a void inside of you. Then you'll start talking all panicky in front of him making assumptions about him that you know you shouldn't. And he will leave.


Alternatively, just be content that you have something about you that makes him want to spend time with you. Busy yourself with your own life and stay open. It's really that simple.... honestly that simple.

Thanks tiziani for your quick responses. I know I shouldn't check, I'm just on the defense be I've been burned before and wanted to keep realistic I guess.
It's just strange this week after the kisses on his bed barely any texts like his usual good morning and most of the day. So I wasn't sure if he was backing off to get his thoughts together or if it was fizziling jus as quickly as it kindled. Any other suggestions or insights on dealing with Libra men and dating?

just a general question to the libra men in da house, do you guys act this fast normally?

i don't know if this is a girl/guy difference but i'm weighing things up for months and months before i finally decide to make a small move and even then, i still can't decide if it is what i want to happen.

Should I just completely back off and wait for him to initiate?

Posted by sexyleo83
Should I just completely back off and wait for him to initiate?

Yes.

This is classic Libran guy. They move stupidly fast and then slam on the brakes because they're freaking out because things moved too fast... because they moved too fast.

They're morons like that.

You need to slow the fuck down too.

You behave like teenagers, you're going to get teenager responses- like this sudden change.

I don't mean to act immature. It's been a while since I connected with someone so easily and fast and intense. It was like automatic comfort level like we knew each other for a long while. Everyone who met us that night asked how long we have been together and it was our first dste. They couldn't believe it. I definitely think we should slow things down I just need to find a balance.

Posted by tiziani
It really depends on the relationship. I take the chemistry on merit as different everytime.


Generally though I move slower than most people I know. In my longest ever relationship we knew each other for nearly two years day in day out before I did anything.

thanks tiz 🙂

Posted by sexyleo83
I don't mean to act immature. It's been a while since I connected with someone so easily and fast and intense. It was like automatic comfort level like we knew each other for a long while. Everyone who met us that night asked how long we have been together and it was our first dste. They couldn't believe it. I definitely think we should slow things down I just need to find a balance.

It's not immaturity, it's just getting caught up in the moment, which Libra dudes can easily suck you into. It's understandable. But with every Leo female I've come across, you guys get all wrapped up in the facade and then start to cling and freak out over tiny stuff when the Libra starts to retreat. It's only been 2 weeks. I'm sure it's easy to notice the change, but simmer down and leave dude alone.

Also, don't get too excited. Libras make everyone feel like you connect with them at some level. It's how they roll.

I haven't heard a word from him since Thursday. He came over the day he found that candies and it was kinda off. He told me I was luck he liked chocolate and laugjed. He was affectionate but not like before and didn't call me babe but cuddled all night and kissed me goodbye the next am. That day he barely sent 3 texts.
How do I know if he's backing off because things progressed so fast or isn't interested anymire. I loved the connection we were forming and a lot of things clicked.
Any advice would. Really be appreciated

You scared him off with the candies.

That's not necessarily on you, but maybe a wake up call to him that things were going too fast. You said you shaped it like a heart?

You do realize Valentine's is really close as well, right?

Who knows, maybe the combination of that plus the holiday set some expectations he realized he's not THAT down yet. Some of these guys can be effing morons in dating and relating.


Btw, when I read your post, it reminded me of a customer I got awhile back who was on a date with her new boyfriend. Her crazy enthusiasm made me think she might be a Leo, but who knows what she really was.

They were celebrating. I think it was something about him finishing school, but she also tacked on that they'd been together about a month so she saw it as them celebrating that as well. She thought she was going to be single forever and was SO glad she finally met him!! She wanted to go all out, bottle of wine, ordering tons of food, and they were there my entire shift. The one line that still stands out to me was something he'd done or said, and she responds with "SEE? WE WERE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER!!"

Meanwhile, MY radar is going off like omg this poor guy is going to head for the hills. I couldn't fault her excitement, but it definitely elicited a response of o.O

Nobody can fault anyone for being excited in the early stages of romance. But how you handle yourself speaks volumes.

The fact he's gotten all distant is the main reason why she shouldn't bother. I didn't find his comment THAT shitty, but it was his way of saying she overstepped it a bit and he wasn't that weirded out by it.

But he clearly is by becoming distant.

Eff that noise.

Hey everyone! Thanks so much for the your insight. I actually talked to him yesterday and he invited me over. I was more guarded and Lil more neutral. He was constantly complimenting me telling me how he loved my outfit, how I did my makeup and hair(just did a lil eyeliner and kept my hair down), how beautiful I was. I just smiled and said thank you. We joked around. I felt like I exuded more confidence and less clingyness. I'm mature and a smart woman he's said it more than once so I want him to value that. He cuddled me and I cuddled but kept a Lil personal space. He tried to initiate intimacy more than once and I said I like spending time with you and want to be balanced and continue to get to know each other evenlying on all levels. We made plans to go out to dinner thursday. So I guess it's a good start to start fresh and not just be seen for intimacy.
I want to be seen with the value he initially saw and not just a pretty girl good in bed. I have a lot more to offer and I want him to want to see that

Haha he only changed his demeanor because he wanted to get laid.

Glad he made plans and hope it all continues to work well.

He hasn't called me baby or baby since the chocolate incident or senthe flirty good mornings 🙂 or winks. Hopefully that attitude will shift back as well. I enjoyed them

KnowING my worth, thinking positive and being myself is all I can do and hope for the best🙂

Posted by sexyleo83
He hasn't called me baby or baby since the chocolate incident or senthe flirty good mornings 🙂 or winks. Hopefully that attitude will shift back as well. I enjoyed them

i get the sense you've got a bit of the girl who wears the short skirt and the low top and then is offended when people look about you.

you don't want to have sex with him but you want him to be sexual with you.

you want to take things slow but then want him to be at the next stage with his communication with you.

you want to be reserved but he should be vulnerable and putting in lots of effort with you.

you've already established a basis for your relationship and now want to reneg on it but still have a little bit but not too much but only what makes you comfortable and when and he should be able to just know what all this means.

i wonder.

Posted by jeane

Posted by sexyleo83
He hasn't called me baby or baby since the chocolate incident or senthe flirty good mornings 🙂 or winks. Hopefully that attitude will shift back as well. I enjoyed them

i get the sense you've got a bit of the girl who wears the short skirt and the low top and then is offended when people look about you.

you don't want to have sex with him but you want him to be sexual with you.

you want to take things slow but then want him to be at the next stage with his communication with you.

you want to be reserved but he should be vulnerable and putting in lots of effort with you.

you've already established a basis for your relationship and now want to reneg on it but still have a little bit but not too much but only what makes you comfortable and when and he should be able to just know what all this means.

i wonder.

click to expand

I actually don't dress provactivly. I like to be seen for my natural self then made up and act slutty. I have a good head on my shoulders but can beasily flirty

I want effort affection and communication to be balanced on both sides. I let him know I have a Braun and personality and don't won't something just based on physicality. I felt comfortable with him and there was connection during intimacy. Just don't want it or stop there or be based on nothing more since we were intimate so quickly. He agreed. I just want to stop the pattern since it's still early and do fun things to bond on a more real level is. All

Posted by sexyleo83

I actually don't dress provactivly. I like to be seen for my natural self then made up and act slutty. I have a good head on my shoulders but can beasily flirty

it was an analogy

Posted by sexyleo83
I want effort affection and communication to be balanced on both sides. I let him know I have a Braun and personality and don't won't something just based on physicality. I felt comfortable with him and there was connection during intimacy. Just don't want it or stop there or be based on nothing more since we were intimate so quickly. He agreed. I just want to stop the pattern since it's still early and do fun things to bond on a more real level is. All

well i'm interested to see how it develops. i have my doubts, i hope you prove me wrong.

One, you need to realize that men and women experience sex differently. Just because YOU felt a connection, doesn't mean he did. He could just be getting off and be happy for all you know. I doubt he walked away from sex feeling like he had some soulful connection with your vag.

Two, you weren't being called slutty or provocative. You are behaving in a way that opens you up to certain behaviors and then are pissy that you are being treated the way you are as a result of those behaviors.

Three, I have a feeling dude is either going to flake on your date, or he'll follow through and try again to get into your pants.

Sorry to say, but knowing he's changed his behavior since you showed such an overly extravagant display of how you really feel, chances are he may not have seen the situation like you did. The fact that he also got distant and disappeared, only to lay it on thick in order to butter you up for sex says a lot about what his intentions are.

The title of this thread is "What is he thinking?" He's thinking of sex and with his dick, sorry. It's a shitty outcome for those of us who have no problem holding off on sex because we enjoy it as much as they do. It's a fucked double standard.

Hopefully your date pans out well and there's no stupid fuckery to be had on his part.

We didnt have sex that night and we still have plans for dinner thursday.
I just wish I could tell him about the kisses on his bed the way I meant them. A fun playful thing. The heart was half thinking and later I thought dawn should have been a smile face but I was half asleep late and was only thing that popped in my head. I like he spending time with him and want him to realize I'm not trying to force anythung. Just wish things could go back to before I did that

I know you didn't.

YOU were the one who said that he TRIED to initiate. What aren't you understanding about the points that I made in regard to that information??

You also shouldn't feel bad or regret anything because if the guy was truly into you, he wouldn't get distant but try to con you into more sex after the fact.

Just sayin'.

Just wanted to update:
The dinner never happened last week. His dad was in the hospital and he wanted to go see him. He said he was helping someone move all weekend. I never got even a happy valentine's day text from him.
Monday he asked to relax and see me but to let him know if I wanted to before too long. I was still pretty hurt that he didn't bother to say anything so I just said I was busy. He ended up going out with his friends and saying he was busy the rest of the week.
I guess I should just let it go by he seems to be drifting away and I dont know why

I sent him this message sunday and he didnt respond till monday. I said I Just wanted to clear the air and let u know
The kisses thing was only supposed to be flirty and fun. Didn't want to freak you out. I just want to go with the flow and be myself. I miss being able to be openly laugh and joke around with you and not over think whether it's taken the way it was intended no underlying meanings.
His reply was OK good. How was u r weekend. Then later was the wanting to see me part

i think if you want to see him you should definitely try to. it's a tragedy if a potential relationship is abandoned due to misunderstandings and relative pettiness.

chase him if you want him!

I asked to see him a few times this week. He's busy. I assume seeing other girls.More I chase less he responds. So I figure I back off and let him talk to me if he cares😢

Jesus Christ, don't chase him. Stfu with that shitty nonsense.

Dude is clearly showing how he feels. Go do you. If he decides to grace you with his flaky presence, it's on you and how you want to approach it.

This is typical indecisive Libra guy bullshit and notorious "not into you" guy behavior. "Busy" is translated to "I really don't want to make time to see you since I'm not that into you." It's going to turn into a cycle at this point. Move along, dear. It's shitty, but it's going to get worse if you allow him to flit in and out of your life at his convenience.

Next time, don't allow yourself to get sucked into the idiotic Libra pseudo romance whirlwind. You've done nothing "wrong" otherwise. Just got caught up in his immature enthusiasm. He realized how fast he was moving and realized he wasn't as into you as he thought. People like this need to be banned from dating. All they do is wreak havoc on others' emotions because they have NO idea what they want.

but hang on, he said he wants to see her. she is the one who feeling hurt said she was busy.

she expected a valentines text which seems a little early in the game for that given the choppy waters they are currently riding.

sugarfoot, i don't see that comment as automatically being arrogant. perhaps it was said very tongue in cheek?

i just think it is a waste to give up without a clear idea what he is thinking. rocky may be right but i just don't think you can know at this stage. at this point it is second guessing, hurt feelings, poor communication and expectations which are not shared.

op, you're freaking out about the chocolates, it might not even be an issue for him. it might be something else but unless you know for certain you are going to continue to feel guilty over something that might be a non-issue.

Posted by sexyleo83
I asked to see him a few times this week. He's busy. I assume seeing other girls.More I chase less he responds. So I figure I back off and let him talk to me if he cares😢

again, this is an assumption. he might just be busy. i don't think you are at the stage where you can expect to be first priority in his life. don't assume that because he is not dropping everything to see you, that it means he has moved on. he might have. or he might just have a full week.

why don't you just tell him directly how you are feeling and that you think that is best that you would like to see him and perhaps you catch up with each other in the future when schedules align. at this point, what do you have to lose?

Posted by jeane
but hang on, he said he wants to see her. she is the one who feeling hurt said she was busy.

she expected a valentines text which seems a little early in the game for that given the choppy waters they are currently riding.

sugarfoot, i don't see that comment as automatically being arrogant. perhaps it was said very tongue in cheek?

i just think it is a waste to give up without a clear idea what he is thinking. rocky may be right but i just don't think you can know at this stage. at this point it is second guessing, hurt feelings, poor communication and expectations which are not shared.

op, you're freaking out about the chocolates, it might not even be an issue for him. it might be something else but unless you know for certain you are going to continue to feel guilty over something that might be a non-issue.

You're joking right? You're enabling and making excuses for a guy who slammed on the brakes in his behavior and went from seeing her often to barely seeing her due to being "busy."

Across the board, that translates to "no longer that into you."

You sound like Tiz when I was seeking advice for a Libra who did the same thing. My gut told me he was likely losing interest but some of it was a little strange to me. I was told the same load of shit that you're feeding this Leo.

Guess who was right?

Hint: not him.

Libra dudes do this. This is how they roll. They dive in head first, make you feel like you're this amazing person that they're absolutely smitten with, only to flip a bitch and start becoming "too busy" and backpedaling in regard to where they stand with you.

So what if he wanted to see her? This was after one of his "busy" spells and felt he could squeeze her in. When he managed to find some time, she said no, and he proceeded to fill his entire week up so he couldn't be bothered. She asked him several times already and he's been "busy." ...with other people.

Dude isn't that into her anymore. It's a total 180 from his behavior before hand.

Like I said, if he decides to grace her with his presence sometime in the near future, it's her choice in what she decides to do.

you might be right rocky. it's certainly possible.

i am just trying to be fair by giving him the benefit of the doubt. sometimes busy just means busy.

she hasn't been consistent either. who know what it looks like from his perspective? and personally, i prefer to have a definitive answer so i know where i stand with someone than rely on assumption.

That's not being "fair." It's called shit stirring and enabling, sorry. Plenty of people do it on the Libra forum. You aren't being fair, you're just playing devil's advocate. It's clear as day what's going on here to anyone but those who want to enable bad behavior under the guise of "fairness."

Something else to remind-

Initially, he was so into her that he was holding off hanging out with his other friends. She had to practically kick him out so he would do so.

Now that has flipped and he's barely making time for her. He got distant and only warmed up when he was interested in fucking her.

All he seems to be doing at the moment is feeling rather lukewarm about her and will keep her around as an option, one who he will try to get sex from, before he finds someone else to screw around with.

Did I not call it when I said he was going to flake on their Thursday date? Not that it wasn't a legit reason (hopefully he was being honest about that reason, btw), but lo and behold, he found a reason not to see her and didn't seem to be in a rush to make it up to her for flaking.

At this point, there is definitely enough to go on and determine that he isn't into her as much as she'd like.

We talked Sunday. He's not seeing anyone else . I told him if he didn't start showing me I matter I can find someone who does. Lol. I can't believe how easy it was to put my foot down. Say what I want deserve and he was so responsive saying he'd never date that girl I saw him with on the beach.. he didn'tsee me till I approached him. He came over to my towel and invited me over bUT I said that's ok. he wouldn't like to see me with another guy. I told him it would happen if he kept up his current pattern! I expected to b taken on actual dates and on weekends.he's like u met my brother. I said so weeks ago and he changed backed off and that I deserve him to be open to me or he'd lose me . It's been a few days and he usually goes on weekends back to his home town to go boating . How can I get him to take me on actual dinner or fun outing dates without me asking and him wanting to?
I wanted to do strawberry festival Friday but he's going back home. He loves basketball. I want to shoot around but it's dark after we both go to the gym and weekends would b best. I have a tendency for masculine energy and not letting the guy be a guy. I'm trying to let go and let him plan things

I know that. We had sex early and he associates me with relaxing and cuddling at his place. Just wondering if I cIt's in him. He's more attentive now that we talked. The kisses thing scared him a Lil but we talked and I explained it was my nature to do cute things no underlying meanings. He's used to girls trying to trap him. We've been dating a month I think it's the longest he has in a whileould turn that around