Why are libra men so confusing?

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Anonymous
Anonymous
(36 to 45)
Why is he confusing me?
I have been seeing a libra that confuses me constantly. He makes plans with me, then backs out. I'm starting to think he does drugs and that is why he backs out and he won't show up at the bar he normally hangs out at, if he knows I'm there. We have been playing games for about a year and a half. He told me he wanted their to be an us and move in together, then said he needed to figure things out. This was about 2 or 3 weeks ago. I saw him somewhere last week and he put his arm around me and said, hello. I looked at him and said, do I know you? He pulled away and walked away. This was right after he told a guy friend of ours that he wants me to leave him alone. Well, I ignored him that night where we were and I ignored his text and phone call. I saw him the next night and ignored him again. I left an early Birthday present on his porch the night after those 2 nights of ignoring him. He texted me saing, thank u so much! I love you! Well, him saying, I love you confuses me more, because he didn't ask me to come see him. He said, in another text, I miss you. If you miss someone, wouldn't you ask them to come over? Was I suppossed to invite myself over?

I have been seeing a libra that confuses me constantly. He makes plans with me, then backs out. I'm starting to think he does drugs and that is why he backs out and he won't show up at the bar he normally hangs out at, if he knows I'm there. We have been playing games for about a year and a half. He told me he wanted their to be an us and move in together, then said he needed to figure things out. This was about 2 or 3 weeks ago. I saw him somewhere last week and he put his arm around me and said, hello. I looked at him and said, do I know you? He pulled away and walked away. This was right after he told a guy friend of ours that he wants me to leave him alone. Well, I ignored him that night where we were and I ignored his text and phone call. I saw him the next night and ignored him again. I left an early Birthday present on his porch the night after those 2 nights of ignoring him. He texted me saing, thank u so much! I love you! Well, him saying, I love you confuses me more, because he didn't ask me to come see him. He said, in another text, I miss you. If you miss someone, wouldn't you ask them to come over? Was I suppossed to invite myself over?

No.

If he's been ducking you for a year and a half, you'll should have walked away months and months ago. I may be slow to approach a woman I'm interested in but, once the ice is broken and we're talking, I'm no flake. If someone is making plans and talks about things but has no follow through, they're full of shit. Don't encourage that behavior. You tell him you've been looking for a date for a year but you aren't stupid or desperate and you can do better than his flaky ass. Stick to ignoring him, no more presents.

Oohhh haha, I read it!

He sounded like a tool.

That's what I was afraid of. I have fallen for him.

The other option isn't any better. Okay, let's assume he's not playing any games and he has fallen for you too. Maybe it's legit...

Would you really be with someone who talks shit about you to his friends, and cancels your plans all the time? Stop looking at what you wish it was and accept it for what it is.

It sucks sometimes but once you realize someone is an asshat, your best bet is to simply walk away.

Posted by GoingDutch
I'm even confuse, reading all the confuse your Libra have going back and forth.
Seem like all the Libra couples here are all full of fun and DRAMA, lol
I hate drama though, I will swim to the bottom of the ocean and burried my tomb down there, lol

Call him one last time, hear his voice and tone then you know if he loves you or not. never judge what going on by just text.

Most relationship stories on any sign's board will be negative. People are ten times more likely to share negative experiences than positive ones. That's marketing 101.

Posted by sassyone111
That's what I was afraid of. I have fallen for him.

You said he won't go to his usual bar if he knows you're there. That means he is ACTIVELY avoiding you. And you fall for him?

I really don't understand women...

I have been to the bar everyday this week and he hasn't shown up. He goes everyday after work normally.

Posted by GoingDutch
But I read somewhere it said that Libra doesn't like things that come easy, they like something meaningful, they like something har to get, something they can chase after.
If true, then this explain my Libra.

OP, give yourself one last chance. Stop the text, Call him then you will definately know in his tone. Trust me, the voice say alot, text say nothing.

As for this idea of not liking something that is easy to get... It doesn't apply to this thread at all. This guy is playing games. I don't have enough info to know what the game is but this is not how a guy who is genuinely interested acts (no matter what sign he is).

I don't understand why this "hard to get" vs "easy" conversation is always presented as if those two opposite ends are the only options. You don't have to play hard to get or force the guy to chase because it's some kind of game, just don't be cheap or easy. Have some personal respect and boundaries.

This spring, I was flirting with a woman I worked with last fall. We had great conversations and always hugged when we saw each other. We exchanged numbers, with the intent of going out somewhere. She flaked a couple times and didn't have any follow through with actually seeing me. So I stopped trying. I'm talking within like two weeks. If there's no consistency or clear interest, what are you chasing?

Posted by LibraSid

I don't understand why this "hard to get" vs "easy" conversation is always presented as if those two opposite ends are the only options. You don't have to play hard to get or force the guy to chase because it's some kind of game, just don't be cheap or easy. Have some personal respect and boundaries.

+1

Posted by GoingDutch
Does he KNOW you going to the bar? Did you tell him you going to the bar?
He could just be working more hours this week.
He could just be more busy during this holiday season coming up.
May I know his age? Cuz sometimes younger guys just have lots of things going on, they multitask, lol

Theyve been planning and canceling dates for a year and a half... No one is that busy. He isn't interested.

Why should she call and hear his voice again? So he can sweet talk her and break another date? Do you know how hard it is to be mad at a smooth talking libra when I'm right in front of you?

Op,
Maybe he's avoiding you because you drink too much. I wouldnt want a woman who's at the bar everyday. Lol, jk...sort of.

Of course romantic relationships can start as friendships, all of mine have. It actually seems the most natural way to me. I don't know how to "pick up" or "date" a stranger.

We're not talking about a friendship growing into more in this thread though. This thread is two people making date plans then canceling repeatedly. I wouldnt even keep trying to hang out with that person as a friend.

Avoiding someone that you supposedly like though is crazy!!

I did tell him I was going one day and I didn't hear from him. He is avoiding me. He is 43. I don't drink every time I go. Sometimes I just have dinner and a soda.

He breaks more plans than he keeps. He has kept some plans.

Posted by sassyone111
He breaks more plans than he keeps. He has kept some plans.

This might sting a bit but its the truth...

You know when I break plans? When something more fun or interesting comes up, or if I didn't want to go in the first place. I don't easily or regularly blow off plans for something I want.

Yeah shit happens. I'm not saying people should freak out if someone cancels one time, but when it's a pattern...

Your story is very different from hers. Your libra is asking if "you're his girl" and you are running from him. This woman is chasing a dude that's running in circles.

You (Dutch) need to decide if you like your guy enough to give him a shot, then either let go of your fears and try, or let go of that dude and stop confusing him.

She (the OP) needs to decide if she's willing to put up with that much bullshit from some dude. Hopefully she decides not to and stops running in those circles with him.


However, you're right. One date does not make people bf/gf. Only an agreement between those people would do that. If we go on a long romantic walk through town together and only one of us knows, that's stalking...

I am starting to think he may have a drug problem and that is why he breaks plans. I don't know that 100 percent, so that's why I haven't broken away.

Posted by sassyone111
I am starting to think he may have a drug problem and that is why he breaks plans. I don't know that 100 percent, so that's why I haven't broken away.

Why, u hoping to score some smack?

No, I'm not hoping to score. I may be wrong, so I haven't broken away. If that is the problem, then maybe it would at least explain his craziness.

Meaning maybe he prefers drugs over me.

Posted by sassyone111
Meaning maybe he prefers drugs over me.

Either way he is a junkie or simply not interested enough in you. Both reasons beg the question, why would you chase someone like this?

It's the fact of not knowing. Plus I love him. Stupid, I know.

He hasn't used in front of me, but I have seen evidence that says he does.

Posted by sassyone111
He hasn't used in front of me, but I have seen evidence that says he does.

You talking about weed or bad drugs?

If you found his crack pipe or a burned up spoon and needles, it's just another reason to get away from him.

I have never confronted him about the drugs. I have kept that to myself. I don't frequent bars often. I have been there this week, but I didn't drink every night. The nights I did, I had one beer.

Posted by sassyone111
It's the fact of not knowing. Plus I love him. Stupid, I know.

Do you love him or the idea of him?

I love him. He is my first thought every morning and my last thought every night. He is always on my mind.

Posted by sassyone111
I love him. He is my first thought every morning and my last thought every night. He is always on my mind.

that's not love. that could be infatuation.

so let's break this down. your ideal partner is described as follows.


- a guy who lets you down and is unreliable

- a possible drug user

- someone who doesn't want to see you

- someone who is too cowardly to tell you this to your face but will discuss it with friends

- someone who doesn't know their own mind

- someone who lies

- someone who puts their needs ahead of yours

- someone oblivious to your feelings and if he is aware, is happy to hurt them


So if this is all ok with you, what are your deal breakers?

I was hoping since it took him a year and a half to say, I love you, that he could possibly mean it, but maybe the drugs keep him away, because he doesn't want me to know. I know it's time to walk away, but it's hard.

Posted by sassyone111
I was hoping since it took him a year and a half to say, I love you, that he could possibly mean it, but maybe the drugs keep him away, because he doesn't want me to know. I know it's time to walk away, but it's hard.

Maybe. Or maybe that is an excuse.

Ultimately you deserve someone who cannot get enough of you, who is there when you are in trouble, who is emotionally available to you. It's a person you can trust, someone who sees when you are hurt, hurts as well. They are a person who will do anything to make you happy and will show you with not only words but by deeds that you are important to them. They respect you and admire all the good that you bring to their life and in return he will want to be the best person he can be, not for his sake but so he can feel worthy and deserving of being with you.

Don't settle for anything less than that. And maybe this is the guy that can give you all of those things. The point is, he's not giving that to you now. Don't wait around hoping that one day he will. Everyday you waste is a day you'll never get back.

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by sassyone111
I am starting to think he may have a drug problem and that is why he breaks plans. I don't know that 100 percent, so that's why I haven't broken away.

Why, u hoping to score some smack?

click to expand

/DEAD

No, I'm not hoping to score.

Posted by sassyone111
No, I'm not hoping to score.

😆

It was a joke, so was me calling you an alcoholic for going out all week.

Posted by jeane

Posted by sassyone111
I love him. He is my first thought every morning and my last thought every night. He is always on my mind.

that's not love. that could be infatuation.

so let's break this down. your ideal partner is described as follows.


- a guy who lets you down and is unreliable

- a possible drug user

- someone who doesn't want to see you

- someone who is too cowardly to tell you this to your face but will discuss it with friends

- someone who doesn't know their own mind

- someone who lies

- someone who puts their needs ahead of yours

- someone oblivious to your feelings and if he is aware, is happy to hurt them


So if this is all ok with you, what are your deal breakers?

click to expand

That's what I been saying. Maybe she'll hear it better from you.

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by jeane

Posted by sassyone111
I love him. He is my first thought every morning and my last thought every night. He is always on my mind.

that's not love. that could be infatuation.

so let's break this down. your ideal partner is described as follows.


- a guy who lets you down and is unreliable

- a possible drug user

- someone who doesn't want to see you

- someone who is too cowardly to tell you this to your face but will discuss it with friends

- someone who doesn't know their own mind

- someone who lies

- someone who puts their needs ahead of yours

- someone oblivious to your feelings and if he is aware, is happy to hurt them


So if this is all ok with you, what are your deal breakers?

That's what I been saying. Maybe she'll hear it better from you.

click to expand

Sadly, she's too busy focusing on the "possibility" that the guy might be a drug addict to realize he just isn't into her. Perhaps that is an easier reality than the truth.

Sassy.. you can love someone and also realize that the best thing you can ever do is walk away and live your life with someone that is deserving of your love. This guy, if everything you have said is what is happing, doesn't deserve your love or time. It hurts but in the long run it will be better for you to move on.

Posted by LibraSid
The other option isn't any better. Okay, let's assume he's not playing any games and he has fallen for you too. Maybe it's legit...

Would you really be with someone who talks shit about you to his friends, and cancels your plans all the time? Stop looking at what you wish it was and accept it for what it is.

It sucks sometimes but once you realize someone is an asshat, your best bet is to simply walk away.

+1

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by sassyone111
That's what I was afraid of. I have fallen for him.

You said he won't go to his usual bar if he knows you're there. That means he is ACTIVELY avoiding you. And you fall for him?

I really don't understand women...

click to expand

That's because women are in a society that pressures them to be in a relationship all while also telling them that they will never be good enough because they don't have the right weight, height, looks, or boob size. Women's self esteem is bashed on a daily basis, subtle or not. That said, when a guy shows some sort of interest, women tend to get sucked in to the attention, and if things go south, they cling on to the good that existed prior to the asshat behavior.

It explains why this chick is so delusional in thinking this is something worth pursuing.

And really, OP, a PRESENT? After how he treated you? You're now trying to bribe/buy is affection? Come on now. He is not the only guy in the world that you can get.

Just read the rest.

OP, sorry to say, but you're an idiot. You're making excuses as to why you should wait and stick around. You've told this guy he can treat you like a convenience.

He does not love you. His ACTIONS do not say "love." His mouth says "love" but his actions say "I don't give a shit about you." Therefore, he does not truly love you, he's just using you as a person of convenience.

I doubt it's entirely drugs and he's JUST NOT INTO YOU.

If it is drugs? So? It shouldn't matter if it is or isn't. His treatment of you is atrocious. If he does have a drug problem, you should probably run anyway. You are not a therapist and relationships are not therapy. He shouldn't even be an option for dating, really.

You have very low self esteem and you are infatuated with an idea of what this guy COULD be. ...Except he's not living up to what he could be. This is what you get- a flaky, self centered asshole who treats you like shit, avoids you, and only comes around when nothing else "better" has his attention.

Wake the fuck up. Your posts are just sad to read. I know it's hard wrapping your head around it all, but you need to get your head out of your ass and ditch this loser.

Say this outloud - "I am in love with a loser." See if it makes ANY sense to even utter these words.

Ok....I saw him tonight and he kissed me and held me at the bar he hangs out at. He's never done that in public. He said, I lo...then he stopped. He was a different man tonight. He got jealous because one of his friends was hitting on me. He wants me to come over tomorrow, but he could back out and I know that. He gets one more chance and that's it. Another friend of his told me he cares and I asked him how he cares, but he said, I can't tell you. Then the guy I have been seeing started listening to our conversation.

This just proves anything is possible with a libra guy ... :/ confusion galore

I call bs.

With chicks like this, it always is interesting how they come back later and suddenly the guy has a change of heart in his behavior. After everyone has pointed out flaws, issues, and what she's doing wrong and questioning her ability of perceiving what's really going on, suddenly it's "OMG HE DID THE ABSOLUTE OPPOSITE OF WHAT HE'S BEEN DOING ALL OF THE SUDDEN. SEE?? YOU ALL WERE WRONG!"


Whatever. These type of women deserve whatever bullshit they tolerate.

I still think the guy is full of shit. He's only getting lovey dovey because he's jealous some other guy has his side piece preoccupied.

I always try to look for the good in everything and everyone. I'm a positive thinker, most of the time. Libras take forever to make up their minds, right? They have to balance those scales and be on the same page, right? Maybe he has finally done that. Maybe he is playing me, but I think I need to find out. I have seen changes lately from the past. As far as the drugs, I'm not 100 percent sure, so I need to see about that. If he is an addict, I'm gone. I know you can't force an addict to do anything. I've seen it and I don't want any part of it.

I think it's cocaine. We text more than we talk on the phone. He told me last night to call him when I get home, so that he knows I got home ok. He told me to start calling him and we need to stop texting. He said he's done with texting.

Do you just happen to really like the bar he hangs out at or do you go in hopes to see him? Bc you keep saying "the bar he likes to hang out at". It may come across like you're trying to force him to see you which may be why he's withdrawing. That's annoying.

I do like it. I know the owner and all the bartenders. I am more of a homebody. I like to go out occasionally, but staying home is my preference. He goes every day after work...that's why I say, where he hangs out.

Posted by sassyone111
I always try to look for the good in everything and everyone. I'm a positive thinker, most of the time. Libras take forever to make up their minds, right? They have to balance those scales and be on the same page, right? Maybe he has finally done that. Maybe he is playing me, but I think I need to find out. I have seen changes lately from the past. As far as the drugs, I'm not 100 percent sure, so I need to see about that. If he is an addict, I'm gone. I know you can't force an addict to do anything. I've seen it and I don't want any part of it.

Lol

I don't care if he treats me like crap or not, if he smoke pot I'm gone!

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by sassyone111
I always try to look for the good in everything and everyone. I'm a positive thinker, most of the time. Libras take forever to make up their minds, right? They have to balance those scales and be on the same page, right? Maybe he has finally done that. Maybe he is playing me, but I think I need to find out. I have seen changes lately from the past. As far as the drugs, I'm not 100 percent sure, so I need to see about that. If he is an addict, I'm gone. I know you can't force an addict to do anything. I've seen it and I don't want any part of it.

Lol

I don't care if he treats me like crap or not, if he smoke pot I'm gone!

click to expand

Hey, every girls got her limits 🙂

So if he's not into drugs, then his shitty behavior is okay? You'll gladly settle for being treated this way as long as it's not drug use as the reason? You see the "good" aka ignoring all the bad shit.

Honey, YOU'RE on drugs.

They must be confident and deserving, before giving their love to another? I like the sound of that, but I have told him over and over how wonderful he is (compliments galore) and I would hope that he would know how important he is to me by now.