Posted by AdrianaCrabTor
I might not be welcomed with this question since I have just asked something related, but... I’m analysing, and trying to find out clues and answers to be sure of what to do. It’s a bit long, but if there’s anyone here who would like to give their point of view, I would really appreciate it. This is the situation: there’s no context, just Pisces talking about a cousin of his who has two children of different men and dating a new boy: “there’s no chance for her anymore. If she fails again the one who is going to suffer is her little child (a 4 year old girl whose father didn’t take any responsibility), she still doesn’t understand that she is now responsible of two children (her boy is 12) and she has to look after their growth and education. That’s why I don’t have kids, and I don’t want to have them.”
Previously he has referred that he doesn’t like children (although I guess he doesn’t like restless kids, because I have seen he is very kind with some of them, and he has a baby nephew that he likes a little bit. He has also said that how can one have a baby if they don’t have economical an emotional stability to bring them up.
I, his girlfriend, only replied: “really? Don’t you want to have children? No, he said. Do you?
-Yes, of course! I said
-come on! You said you didn’t want to have children
-no, I didn’t. I just said that I didn’t want to have them in a near future. I mean, In a future of course I would like it to happen, but not too soon. But it’s important to know what you want.
Then there was a silence and I he asked: Does it let you down what I said? And I replied. Of course not. That’s your opinion, your decision, your point of view... your free will. How could that let me down. And this talk ended up.
I couldn’t say anything else, but it made me feel sad because I thought that if we don’t expect the same from life, there will be a point where this relationship will fail and we’ll have to separate. We’ve been together for 14 months (but we’ve known each other for almost three years) maybe is too soon to get pressured with the result of this relationship. I’m sure I love him and I would like to have a family with him, but I cannot interfere in what he expects. Maybe he realised I get upset somehow because the rest of the afternoon he was hugging me and saying he loves me.
Few days ago I asked in this forum if you thought he could include me in his future and now I know he sees me in his future somehow because he mentioned something that made me feel he does. I’m sure he loves me. I see it and I feel it. I just wonder if this he said about children might be totally true, something that he has decided in advance or if there’s any chance he changes his mind because this is not the first time he mentions that, but it is the first time I openly say I do want to have my own family.