Aqua Sun - Virgo rising - Sagittarius Moon - Pisces Venus - Capricorn Mars
First of all, Mondays can be busy days, start of the week and so on. So I'm not surprised if you recieve short answers on a Monday. Also, Pisces Mercury is not the best at communication..... I dealt with a Pisces Sun/Venus/Mercury and he never liked to reply to personal questions. He did open up to me, poured his heart out, but that was in person. Maybe she only likes to talk about personal stuff in person.
It seems she is still keeping you at a distance though, for some reason. The problem is that you two aren't really an item so to speak. It's all very loose and non committal, so it seems. Not all Aquas have commitment issues, but I see a Sagittarius Mars.....If I'm correct, people with that placement like their freedom a LOT.
Now back to your question. When do I feel cherished, but not controlled? Well...when someone does little things for me (like buying my favorite junkfood that has been extinct forever, that is so sweet!).....when someone is in my corner, has my back......if we can laugh about the same silly things.....when someone brings me flowers or writes me a poem, or draws something for me.....when someone listens to me and can match me on an emotional level....when we are intimate and both are wanting to please the other.....when someone asks how my day was and really wants to know...
I feel controlled when someone wants more attention than I am able or willing to give....or pushes their will onto me....or when someone wants to lead the relationship the whole time. I have a cardinal mars so I need to lead every now and then. I also feel controlled when someone is trying to manipulate me out of insecurity. I see through that right away.