Posted by RooSagicorn

Posted by hellosaggy
@RooSagicorn

See.... I hope your situation isn't like me and my scorpio ex

1. if you are only with Cap (she's with a bum Leo), because ya'll are together and you are happy... and you have no feelings for your Leo, then it is what it is. You can't force a friendship. its not fair to the other person.

2. but if you have feelings for the Leo, and due to being with Cap (love blah blah)... you don't want the Leo as nothing but a friend... its bull crap and you might want to examine it. because you still have feelings and see last two sentences in number 1.

my scorp ex is in number 2. If I will never talk to her again, wouldn't care... I won't even bat an eye. She texted me and me happy birthday and I didn't even respond. known her for 5 years. she knows me more than anybody, never even cheated on her and I had plenty of opportunity to. We broke up due to circumstances as well. If I feel like you are playing me and yourself and I give you opportunity to fix it and you don't. I'm done with you. I don't have to accept nothing.

It’s more complicated than that. I’ve known him for 30 years. We were friends first. We lost contact for 18 years and he was really hurt I dropped the friendship. He found me a few years ago after he heard I was divorced. This time we live in different states & there are obstacles. When things fell apart 2 years ago, he wouldn’t figure it out, he gave me a bunch of crap and no reason to stay. But he continued to call & wouldn’t let go. I think the big thing about being friends is because he didn’t want to lose contact again after that 18 yr gap. So there are feelings but no solutions so it doesn’t matter. I became distant when I met the Cap especially as it got serious. I haven’t known how to keep my promise to stay friends & to be fair to me & the Cap. He understands all this.. but somehow kept calling. It was hard to be friends when he kept trying to pull emotions out of me. I guess damned if I do & damned if I don’t. I just thought he’d stop & fade away. So I couldn’t have a life with him & I it’s like he wouldn’t let me go & have a different one either. But I need to be allowed to be happy. That’s what I told him yesterday. He told me he’s happy I’m happy .. that I deserve it. But I get no happy birthday message. I get he’s upset I won’t be moving now.. and now he has no hope. But he is the one who refused to work it out at every turn. He should let go.. I would love to have a real friendship with him but obviously that’s impossible. I was just hoping he’d adjust.. damn this sucks. But ya know the Cap us where my future is and I must protect us.

click to expand

No... it isn't more serious than what I said.... its just a long a $ $ history.

Why does he have to let go? because you want to protect your current relationship, but keep him around as a friend? In that case, you are the one that has to let go and prevent him from stirring issues up, not him.

It's like you leaving drugs for an addict on the coffee table and telling him not to touch it. Yes, you are the drug... you have to remove it from his sight, and hopefully his addiction disappears.

to summarize.. he screwed up. he loves you, he was friendly (and pretended to be your friend) to show you he changed, you moved on to a new relationship. you still have feelings but your cap is your current and possible future, you still want him around (its kind of back burnering him to be honest)...

honestly, its not going to happen he still has feelings, YOUhave to cut him off.