phoenix_rising
@phoenix_rising
20 Years5,000+ Posts
Comments: 1 · Posts: 7940 · Topics: 584
—
KILL KILL KILL!!
🤢gt;
But seriously, put yourself in his shoes (if you can bring yourself to sink that low) he's probably purposely avoiding you because he's aware (from the information I have) that he's in the wrong and now he's being cowardly about the situation. Never underestimate the cowardice of a man in such situations.
It may be incredibly difficult for you at the moment, but i've always found that putting on a cold and indifferent act in all interactions with him may be the best way to go. Be businesslike and unemotional - it will make him unsure of how to react.
I'd call him and say you want to come over and pick up a few things and that it's not neccessary for him to be there. Stress that you only want to pick up a few things because you want to have as little as possible to remind you of him. Accidently call him neil and then say 'oops, that's the name of my new boyfriend' then say...sorry...what was your name again? If he says 'my name is..., or you know my name' say something like 'sorry, i couldn't think of anything other than your poor personal hygene standards'
The joy of these situations is that no one really expects you to behave like an adult - have fun with childish insults. If you do have to meet with him, shake your head and laugh and say 'god, what WAS i thinking'. Occasionally glance at him and laugh and shudder at the same time.
You've reached the anger stage, now turn that anger into ridicule! Regardless of how you do deal with the situation, it's important not to get bogged down in the seriousness of it all.
🤢gt;
But seriously, put yourself in his shoes (if you can bring yourself to sink that low) he's probably purposely avoiding you because he's aware (from the information I have) that he's in the wrong and now he's being cowardly about the situation. Never underestimate the cowardice of a man in such situations.
It may be incredibly difficult for you at the moment, but i've always found that putting on a cold and indifferent act in all interactions with him may be the best way to go. Be businesslike and unemotional - it will make him unsure of how to react.
I'd call him and say you want to come over and pick up a few things and that it's not neccessary for him to be there. Stress that you only want to pick up a few things because you want to have as little as possible to remind you of him. Accidently call him neil and then say 'oops, that's the name of my new boyfriend' then say...sorry...what was your name again? If he says 'my name is..., or you know my name' say something like 'sorry, i couldn't think of anything other than your poor personal hygene standards'
The joy of these situations is that no one really expects you to behave like an adult - have fun with childish insults. If you do have to meet with him, shake your head and laugh and say 'god, what WAS i thinking'. Occasionally glance at him and laugh and shudder at the same time.
You've reached the anger stage, now turn that anger into ridicule! Regardless of how you do deal with the situation, it's important not to get bogged down in the seriousness of it all.
is this stuff really that important to u? do u really want to give him any control over the situation by asking him to do something for u? dont involve someone else or play childish games. things end, let it go.
hahaha i'd probably play around with him for awhile also, gooooooo phoenix!
email yo.
Phoenix,
I become very cold and indifferent as Cortica mentioned...
I also tend to say things that 'cut', such as, "Once again, you showed me your level of responsibility by not EVEN returning my call, which is why I am calling again....I want my stuff! Simple as that. So, let's work this out and you won't hear from me again."
I hope it all works out so that you get what is yours!
I become very cold and indifferent as Cortica mentioned...
I also tend to say things that 'cut', such as, "Once again, you showed me your level of responsibility by not EVEN returning my call, which is why I am calling again....I want my stuff! Simple as that. So, let's work this out and you won't hear from me again."
I hope it all works out so that you get what is yours!
Cortica and Star, I will have the perfect plan if I combine what both of you said! lol--great thinking ladies. 🙂 Thank you! (I'll probably just stew about whether to call him for a while longer though before I act, I need to get some balls, don't I!)
cj7, that's really easy for you to say, "things end, let it go". That was kind of insensitive.
And ays0n, I know. If it makes you feel any better, cj7 is probably equally irritated with me about my lame email correspondence habits. (sorry) I've just got a lot I'm dealing with right now.
cj7, that's really easy for you to say, "things end, let it go". That was kind of insensitive.
And ays0n, I know. If it makes you feel any better, cj7 is probably equally irritated with me about my lame email correspondence habits. (sorry) I've just got a lot I'm dealing with right now.
unless your craving more emotional drama over the situation, i would let it go. leave him with your stuff, one day he will sit down and look at it and remember u, and he miss u, and he will know that he will never have that back. this will cause him pain if that is what u are after and will not require anything from u. 150 bucks is not something to sneeze at but it is replaceable.
I think I like that post a lot better than your first one. 🙂
See, I always thought that I was allowing him too much power by leaving my stuff with him, that's why I wanted it back. I didn't want him to have anything "over" me, you know what I mean?
See, I always thought that I was allowing him too much power by leaving my stuff with him, that's why I wanted it back. I didn't want him to have anything "over" me, you know what I mean?
What do you have of his?
his car key. I didn't even ask for it either, he gave it to me about six months ago when he said, "I want us to look for an apartment together", treetrunking lying bastard 😢
p.s. cj7, yes, i sure as hell want him to feel pain. i hope he cries and cries and goes through a horrible depression like i did and i hope everyone finds out what he did and turns their backs on him and i hope he realizes what a huge mistake he made by even dealing with me in the first place if his ultimate intention was to turn out to be a backstabbing man-b***h. So yeah, I am after pain. I am after blood.
Take the auto for a trek into the woods and leave it.
I'm very tempted to. My other thought was key-ing it, but it's a '99 VW Jetta with a pretty red paint job and that would probably be really evil of me.
*insert evil grin here*
dxpnet, when are we getting mad faces and evil grin faces?
*insert evil grin here*
dxpnet, when are we getting mad faces and evil grin faces?
no pun phoenix but
i would hate to turn you down on something then... cuz you are scary. lol
i would hate to turn you down on something then... cuz you are scary. lol
just don't turn me down when it comes to my stuff, and we should be fine. 😛
It's not really about the stuff though. It's about the fact that I hate that he now holds this power over me and isn't even respectful or man enough to offer it back to me. How did I ever spend four years with this person? That's what I would like to know.
It's not really about the stuff though. It's about the fact that I hate that he now holds this power over me and isn't even respectful or man enough to offer it back to me. How did I ever spend four years with this person? That's what I would like to know.
submission, and content...
you made him think for you, and you revolved around him.
think more of YOU rather than your partner, cuz you will end up findin a point of compromise, even if you are alittle selfish. if it doesn't work out dump whoever the guy is.
just my guess? close? you decide?
you made him think for you, and you revolved around him.
think more of YOU rather than your partner, cuz you will end up findin a point of compromise, even if you are alittle selfish. if it doesn't work out dump whoever the guy is.
just my guess? close? you decide?
yes, you're right ays0n.
And now for the "new development"...
I called him from my cell phone today (so he wouldn't know it was me on the caller ID and not answer), and he answered. He said, "hello?" and I said, in the most cheerful albeit shaky way possible, "hey, it's Heather". Silence for about five seconds...he was shocked, I could tell. He goes, "hey, how are you doing?" "Fine, you?" "Fine. I'm on the other line with my mom right now..." I said, "okay, I just wanted to know when we could exchange our stuff". "Oh. When would be a good time for you?" I said, "well, I have saturday off..." "Saturday is fine. Any time after three I'm free" he said. "Okay, so saturday it is. You can call me if plans have to change, but otherwise we're set". He goes, "okay".
BIG UNCOMFORTABLE PAUSE.
He says, "okay, thanks."
I say, "yep. Bye."
"Bye" he says.
He sounded really weird. Not good. Kind of depressed. Which makes me pretty happy, since he is such a bastard. Of course, I sounded weird too. My voice was all shaky. Not "I'm going to cry" shaky, but nervous shaky. This whole exchanging our stuff thing is going to be REALLY WEIRD. I have a feeling he won't even show. That reminds me, I forgot to tell him where to meet me. lol. Dammit. That means I'll have to call him again and tell him where. And I'm also going to ask him to come alone. I will tell him that if he doesn't come alone, I will turn around and go home. I feel a little sick to my tummy with all of this. 😢
And now for the "new development"...
I called him from my cell phone today (so he wouldn't know it was me on the caller ID and not answer), and he answered. He said, "hello?" and I said, in the most cheerful albeit shaky way possible, "hey, it's Heather". Silence for about five seconds...he was shocked, I could tell. He goes, "hey, how are you doing?" "Fine, you?" "Fine. I'm on the other line with my mom right now..." I said, "okay, I just wanted to know when we could exchange our stuff". "Oh. When would be a good time for you?" I said, "well, I have saturday off..." "Saturday is fine. Any time after three I'm free" he said. "Okay, so saturday it is. You can call me if plans have to change, but otherwise we're set". He goes, "okay".
BIG UNCOMFORTABLE PAUSE.
He says, "okay, thanks."
I say, "yep. Bye."
"Bye" he says.
He sounded really weird. Not good. Kind of depressed. Which makes me pretty happy, since he is such a bastard. Of course, I sounded weird too. My voice was all shaky. Not "I'm going to cry" shaky, but nervous shaky. This whole exchanging our stuff thing is going to be REALLY WEIRD. I have a feeling he won't even show. That reminds me, I forgot to tell him where to meet me. lol. Dammit. That means I'll have to call him again and tell him where. And I'm also going to ask him to come alone. I will tell him that if he doesn't come alone, I will turn around and go home. I feel a little sick to my tummy with all of this. 😢
3 of my close female friends are also breaking up with long term relationships dayamn... this is depressing.
is it break up year or something. in a way its good, cuz the other halves were arseholes anyways. and all are cute, i won't bother being the fling. LoL 🙂
is it break up year or something. in a way its good, cuz the other halves were arseholes anyways. and all are cute, i won't bother being the fling. LoL 🙂
I went to meet him today. He cancelled yesterday, some sort of lie about having to work late and go to his drama rehearsal (he's a part time actor/comedian)...so we met today. It's the first time I'd seen him since the breakup. We were both suprisingly adult about things. I'm proud of both of us really. I'm suprised there's been no extreme fighting or low blows since it all went down. It's weird. It was weird, just like I knew it would be. It was very matter of fact. It was less than five minutes. We both wore the same clothes, which was strange. All black. There was a lot of not looking directly at each other. He tried to do the "nice guy" thing, I wanted to punch him momentarily. ("here, let me open your trunk for you...here let me help you with your stuff"...I wanted to go, "here, let me punch you in the face you fakey phoney treetrunker"). He's just such a coward. I think that's what disappoints me the most. He's just such a chickenbutter. Pardon my colorful language. There were no "hello"s, no "how are you"s, nothing like that. It was strictly business. And that baffles me. How you can spend so long with someone and have it deteriorate so fast. To the point where you're so disgusted by them, that you barely have emotion left for them at all anymore. I did learn a lot from the whole entire relationship though. One thing I do know is that I will never, ever again be unfaithful to anyone for any reason whatsoever for the rest of my life. It causes such a toxicity in the relationship that it's pretty much never able to be forgotten or really gotten over. I will never be unfaithful again. I will never be like my ex.
I forgot to tell you ("you" being anyone reading this), that he said, "I can't find your jacket" (my really expensive jacket, the most important thing he has of mine), he said, "it might be at my grandma's house, she won't be back in town for two weeks, so I'll have to look for it then". I said, "okay. I really do need it back though". He said, "I really will give it to you as soon as I find it". He also can't find my astrology book that I left at his apartment. God, he's had this whole time to look for these things, why must he drag this out even further??! I played it very cool though. I didn't let it rattle me visibly. He told me to hang on to his car key until he could get me my other stuff. I was suprised he was decent enough to say that.
not that it matters to you, but i kinda am proud of you 😉
for not retalliating (spell?)... good butter yo!
infidelity sucks, but you learn from it.
now find something that could make you happy (like playing music...hehe i just recently bought an electric guitar, and jaming with friends is a quite a stress release.)
good luck PR. :p
for not retalliating (spell?)... good butter yo!
infidelity sucks, but you learn from it.
now find something that could make you happy (like playing music...hehe i just recently bought an electric guitar, and jaming with friends is a quite a stress release.)
good luck PR. :p
Thanks. 🙂 It's nice to know that your friendship is there for me no matter what. I like your idea about the guitar, I've always wanted an acoustic one. Wanna jam together? :p
oh weird, the tongue face didn't work 😛
there 🙂
how'd you do it?
BTW... sure why not... im learning interstate love song from STP , also big empty and plush...
learn it and we'll play. LOL
BTW... sure why not... im learning interstate love song from STP , also big empty and plush...
learn it and we'll play. LOL
almost took up smoking cuz of work... damn those damn DM's and RM's for being such asscrackholes!!!
im just going rock n roll to forget things a bit
im just going rock n roll to forget things a bit
Let's go out of town PR! LoL
how does VEGAS sound!!! you're 21 now right? lol
how does VEGAS sound!!! you're 21 now right? lol
vegas sounds good and scary, and yes I'm 21, will be 22 in October. And Interstate Love Song is one of my FAVORITE SONGS EVER. 🙂
p.s., no smoking. 🙂
I'd like to quit, just to prove that I can (and also because it's becoming expensive now that I have to buy my own cigarettes, being boyfriendless and all)
I'd like to quit, just to prove that I can (and also because it's becoming expensive now that I have to buy my own cigarettes, being boyfriendless and all)
the theme song of my life: "you lied/goodbye" lol, great lyrics
YES... i now know "interstate love song"
yeah!!!
coo... um... BTW... didn't you tell me you were going to quit about eons ago? hmmmmm. LOL
didn't mean to give you a hard time.
also, BTW i love that song and the band, one of my fav's too
yeah!!!
coo... um... BTW... didn't you tell me you were going to quit about eons ago? hmmmmm. LOL
didn't mean to give you a hard time.
also, BTW i love that song and the band, one of my fav's too
i was going to, but now i really want to (i have this habit of doing things to make other people happy that i don't really want to do...i'm over it. lol)
one of the greatest bands ever. congrats on learning it, wish you could sing it for me!
one of the greatest bands ever. congrats on learning it, wish you could sing it for me!
download the VH1 version.. thats the one i know how to play... too bad i can't sing and play... i suck!
i have to pull my cousin on the side and make her sing it! dammit!
i have to pull my cousin on the side and make her sing it! dammit!
what a quinkidink... the song has relations to what you feel.
dued my bad.
dued my bad.
i will do that! regretfully i must go now, i have to get up early for work yet again tomorrow. i worked eight hours today and my feet hurt so bad i would like to simply cut them off...the pain would be less that way. lol. and my back hurts too. oh, complain complain. lol. i have to go. goodnight m-ays0n, it was good talking to you, thanks for being a friend. 🙂
SERIOUSLY! LOL.
SERIOUSLY! LOL.
night yo!
really nice talking to you again. dued. really. kinda missed it.
really nice talking to you again. dued. really. kinda missed it.
yeah me too, definitely. there's a shortage of people that stick by you in rough times so i'm glad you're one of the few, i really appreciate it and won't forget it. i'm here for you too.
goodnight, sleep well!
goodnight, sleep well!
check your email i need some advise
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
This is really stupid of me (don't know if you can relate phoenix), but I just broke up with someone I have been seeing for a while and although it needed to be done and I'm happy about it, I'm sitting here on a friday night moping about the house feeling
question:
would you characterize yourself as
a)realistic
b)imaginative
my answer:
why can't I be realistically imaginative?
Question:
Would you say you are more of a(n)
A) lover
B) fighter
C) I just sleep<
would you characterize yourself as
a)realistic
b)imaginative
my answer:
why can't I be realistically imaginative?
Question:
Would you say you are more of a(n)
A) lover
B) fighter
C) I just sleep<
i'm confused on this. it says my sun is in the fifth house while my moon is in the ninth house and my venus is in the seventh house, i mean..the point is..what does this all mean? It doesnt seem like the other astrology i'm familiar with.
so did anyone do that 'stupid' "april fools" joke today? my cousin implanted me on one today on AIM..and so i decided to get his ass back!! haHAHAhahAHhaa...one of my childish plays :-)* i'll share my JOY with you all..
ME: hoy
cousin: hoy
ME: hoy
cousin: hoy
Anybody have an opinion on which university they think is better? New York University or Boston University? I've been accepted into both, and now I have to decided on which to attend.
I personally like NYU better. They seem more serious and busi
I personally like NYU better. They seem more serious and busi
my boyfriend of almost four years ended our relationship about five hours ago. and i was not expecting it to feel this bad. we both sensed the end coming, and in the back of my mind i knew it wasn't going to last much longer. but i have so many mixed fe
i'll keep a look out..
i think i can
I just cut my hair too short!!! ACHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope I'm not like Samson and I'll wake up tomarrow morning to find that all my strength is gone. I know no one cares how long my hair is or how I had a connection with the hair which is n
(This idea was sort of inspired by Crime and Punishment, which after reading I have decided a new criteria for deciding what is great literature: does it make you have discussions about killing people if you could?)
If you could kill someone (and
If you could kill someone (and
People are illogical, unreasonable and self-centered.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
"Ball and Biscuit"
the White Stripes
it's quite possible that i'm your third man, girl
but it's a fact that i'm the seventh son
your third man girl
but it's a fact that i'm the seventh son
right now you could care less about m
the White Stripes
it's quite possible that i'm your third man, girl
but it's a fact that i'm the seventh son
your third man girl
but it's a fact that i'm the seventh son
right now you could care less about m
So, I gather we're going to war with Iraq for definite now. I haven't been able to handle much news lately. Just haven't had the patience to watch. Too much depression and apprehension. My question is, are we going to win do you all think? And in you
stupid question but is subway healthy?
Why do people stay in relationships that make them miserable? I don't understand it, but I see so many people I know in these kinds of situations, and I think to myself, "jeeze, they could get someone far better!!!". They even talk about breaking up, or e
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GWEN!!!
I love you lots and hope you have a great day!!!
I love you lots and hope you have a great day!!!
NOT that I am generally a cookiemonstery person but I decided to vent here instead of writing a very nasty email to my new sister-in-law. Here's the scene...*must breathe..must keep breathing*...my brother (who is totally awesome) is living in England an
I need your opinions guys. If you were moving into your first apartment, would you buy any new furniture? Or any ideas that would help me ? Thanks!
what if someone you know is really depressed lately. about family/school matters. Like for instance, him hating his step dad and just feeling sad for no reason sometimes. How can i help this person? What kinda advice can i give him? Sorry, just really des
Is it not good to start a topic on people the world would be better off without? Well, since I'm not actually going to kill any of them, I think it's fine.
I'm not going to do political figures or even public figures in general, since I'm sure th
I'm not going to do political figures or even public figures in general, since I'm sure th
I considered having a male cancer friend of mine accompany me to his place of work, to ask him for it when he gets off (I would just hang in the parking lot, not go in), but that might be a little too intense of a situation for EVERYBODY. I'm beyond crying when I see him I think...I'm too angry and devastated over what he did. So what's the adult way to handle this? I've never been in this situation before.