DXP PARENTS

This is NOT my usual style of topic. In fact, it warranted an avatar change.

Aaand glance to your left...

Very appropriate, huh? Yeah - I thought so too.

Okay, so I come from a single-parent background. Anyway, I'm not convinced this is the reason but I've decided I don't want kids.

Which has been kinda hard of late because I attract those little buggers like a piece of shit would attract flies.

Actually, some family I've never met before visited and they brought their kid who was seven.

I liked him. It was like conversing with another human being except this human being didn't expect you to have all the answers or even cared if you did. Which was refreshing. (I don't think I ever was that articulate when I was seven).

Anyway, we come to the main thread: DXP parents - if, say, I was someone you cared about with this attitude?

How would you convince me that parenthood is the shizz?

Twee cute stories are a must (that's why the thread was created, actually).

Also let's not exclude the Aunties and Uncles and God Parents.

So - post away!

Also - what is it like really to watch a child grow up? From blob, to little person, to big strong druggie/whore in training?

Okay, seriously, though, my parents' mortality has been on my mind of late.

I'd really like to know if there was ever a time they looked at me and thought "Wow" for whatever reason.

I've been an asshole since I hit the big 2-0 and I'd like to start making up for it before it's too late.

Posted by TastesOfChaos
My 12 year old nephew liked a group on facebook the other day...

"Happy slapping Nan cuz you're a fearless cunt"

Kids are great...

😄

HAHAHA!

Wow. What the fuck kinda group is that?!

Posted by everevolvingepithet
Kids are cool once they can start talking and doing stuff, at blob stage they cry and poop.

Very deep.

LMFAO

Posted by TastesOfChaos

Posted by 1two3go

Posted by TastesOfChaos
My 12 year old nephew liked a group on facebook the other day...

"Happy slapping Nan cuz you're a fearless cunt"

Kids are great...

😄

HAHAHA!

Wow. What the fuck kinda group is that?!

Haha I dunno... I then made a comment on my FB about it and he goes "That wasn me! That was my friend! Please don't tell Nanna"

Typical lying lil shit head Gemini...

😛

click to expand

WAHAHAHA! "Don't tell Nana".

Hmmm, I wonder what gave him away...

Posted by TastesOfChaos
Na seriously... I've watched my nephews grow up and they are awesome. They make you laugh and bring out the big kid in you.The are GREAT for cheering you up 🙂

I could write a book of all the funny shit my nephews have said in the past.

PLUS! I recently witnessed my Leo nephew being born and that nite I was on such a natural high from the experience I couldn't sleep!! My mum was the same!

I cant wait to have a mini TOC running around!

I thought so (cheering up bit).

+1 @ "kid in you".

It is the most rewarding thing, being a parent. To feel life grow and move in your womb. All the expectations and wondering what he or she will look like. And when they are born...it is the purest love. One so strong that it is indescribable. The pride in your child. You look at them with rapture, count their wee fingers and toes, breathe in their scent. It's magic.
You watch them grow, become their own person. Delight in every change. Shrieking in joy when you tickle them, kiss their sweet hair after you read them a bedtime story. Laugh often when they eat in early stages ( ever seen a spaghetti noodle up a kids nostril or sauce in their ear? You will. )
Further there is the beginning of school, sadness seeing that body that seems too small getting on that great big bus. All their excitement with making friends, school work. The years tumble by too quickly, but you hang onto things that matter. The utter sweetness of all the hugs and kisses, the love in their eyes for you. A trusting hand slipped into yours and a question in their eyes to make sure you will always keep them safe and nurtured. Against anything. The bogeyman, the outside, against pain.
The things you must do, unceasingly to assure it. You are St. George to a child, and there are dragons about.
The teen years are full of screaming, testing of boundaries, but also of joy. They bring to the table more adult thinking, and you can all but feel the beat of the wings they are so eager to try. To fly on their own.
Adulthood, where you can sit down as loving and true friends, yes, it is still parent to child and back again...but you can see all that you've given that is good and right in them. And you get the satisfaction of doing the very best you could by them. And in all of this, always..there is love.

I loathe child leashes, they're for people too lazy to corral their own children.

Posted by venusianbull
It is the most rewarding thing, being a parent. To feel life grow and move in your womb. All the expectations and wondering what he or she will look like. And when they are born...it is the purest love. One so strong that it is indescribable. The pride in your child. You look at them with rapture, count their wee fingers and toes, breathe in their scent. It's magic.
You watch them grow, become their own person. Delight in every change. Shrieking in joy when you tickle them, kiss their sweet hair after you read them a bedtime story. Laugh often when they eat in early stages ( ever seen a spaghetti noodle up a kids nostril or sauce in their ear? You will. )
Further there is the beginning of school, sadness seeing that body that seems too small getting on that great big bus. All their excitement with making friends, school work. The years tumble by too quickly, but you hang onto things that matter. The utter sweetness of all the hugs and kisses, the love in their eyes for you. A trusting hand slipped into yours and a question in their eyes to make sure you will always keep them safe and nurtured. Against anything. The bogeyman, the outside, against pain.
The things you must do, unceasingly to assure it. You are St. George to a child, and there are dragons about.
The teen years are full of screaming, testing of boundaries, but also of joy. They bring to the table more adult thinking, and you can all but feel the beat of the wings they are so eager to try. To fly on their own.
Adulthood, where you can sit down as loving and true friends, yes, it is still parent to child and back again...but you can see all that you've given that is good and right in them. And you get the satisfaction of doing the very best you could by them. And in all of this, always..there is love.

Wow. I actually felt my heart sink when I read that "great big bus" line.

I'm sure I would cry when that time came.

Damn.

Posted by 0987654321234567890


Whatever you do, DON"T walk them out in the street though!! (We don't want them to poop there. We're not Paris! What is that granny thinking?)

HAHAHAHAHA!

And +1 for the child leash hate.

I'm always thinking "That's a child, not a puppy you ass!"

🙂

Here's another thing. It's quite funny how people talk about children using distancing words like "they", "it" or "the".

It's like until they (see I'm doing it, too) turn 12 and start sprouting boobs and pimples kids are regarded as having no personalities to warrant "he" or "she" or in some special cases "shim".

Hmmm...

Raising a child falls along the same lines as how I would describe the actual birth; The most disgusting thing and the most beautiful thing at the same moment.

A child is the next step in a person's life that wants to grow. In an instant you realize it's not about you anymore, and everything you do and work for should be for the betterment and well-being of your very own copy of you. Having a child puts one in their place. You can no longer cling to habit and comfort. You must change and adapt. You don't know what tomorrow will hold let alone the next thing out of the little bugger's honest, onery mouth. If your life has minimal purpose then a beautiful girl or boy will give you the next greatest mission. How else will you get to deal with some of the following?

Remembering what sleep was.
Finding a chemical that gets crayon off the walls.
Fixing balanced meals and really trying to get all the food groups in instead of heating up a pizza.
Deciding for yourself what's appropriate to let the child watch on the T.V.
Instilling bits and pieces of your own morals and values in him/her and almost crying at the random time when you hear your child tell an adult "Yes Mam or No sir"

Discovering new colors that only VanGogh could only dream about when opening a diaper.
Deciding for yourself a child's threshold for discipline and dancing around that line when they mess up.
Hanging up their artwork all over the fridge and snickering to yourself when they say it's supposed to be a picture of daddy when it looks like Pablo Picasso and Helen Keller had a baby and it was instructed to draw a Tank.

Posted by OP3CRIMSIN
Raising a child falls along the same lines as how I would describe the actual birth; The most disgusting thing and the most beautiful thing at the same moment.

A child is the next step in a person's life that wants to grow. In an instant you realize it's not about you anymore, and everything you do and work for should be for the betterment and well-being of your very own copy of you. Having a child puts one in their place. You can no longer cling to habit and comfort. You must change and adapt. You don't know what tomorrow will hold let alone the next thing out of the little bugger's honest, onery mouth. If your life has minimal purpose then a beautiful girl or boy will give you the next greatest mission. How else will you get to deal with some of the following?

Remembering what sleep was.
Finding a chemical that gets crayon off the walls.
Fixing balanced meals and really trying to get all the food groups in instead of heating up a pizza.
Deciding for yourself what's appropriate to let the child watch on the T.V.
Instilling bits and pieces of your own morals and values in him/her and almost crying at the random time when you hear your child tell an adult "Yes Mam or No sir"

Discovering new colors that only VanGogh could only dream about when opening a diaper.
Deciding for yourself a child's threshold for discipline and dancing around that line when they mess up.
Hanging up their artwork all over the fridge and snickering to yourself when they say it's supposed to be a picture of daddy when it looks like Pablo Picasso and Helen Keller had a baby and it was instructed to draw a Tank.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Posted by everevolvingepithet
Well they'd only use he or she if they knew the kids gender ?

You're telling me a child of two and above's gender won't be clear to see?! lol

Yet people still go "the boy" or "the girl" or "It looked at me funny" when talking about a child that isn't theirs lol

Posted by 0987654321234567890
o_O it was a fucking joke

No, no - I got the joke. What I'm on about really does happen.

Posted by TheSultana
ROFL.. yea.. seems like he did get the joke.. but forgot how to laugh?

i feel for ya pal. i really do

Whuh?

Before the Idiot Stick Figure with No Soul Pisces, I was with an Aqua for two and a half years. He had an insect. We called her Bug. The first time she took my face in her hands and pulled me close to her and said, "I wuv you Miss Cal" and then touched her nose to mine I died. Melted.


SHE was the most painful part of that break up.

TheSultana..... are my dear friend Sultanaa? My lovely Jasmine?

I miss fun, joking dxp..... wait, that existed?

Posted by TheSultana
nary but a shadow of the original name and fame... altho cant hold a candle to her, still tryin, i guess?

*eek my humility's showing as well*

🙂 :*:*

Aww, she's soo cute, your heart must've locked with her instantly..

Mmmmhhmmmnnnn..... haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy guuuuuuuuuurrrrrrlllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!


She was a jewel. A precious jewel. And he was a wonderful papa.

Here's another quick one that ALWAYS made me melt.... Whenever she wanted to be held she would look up at you and raise her arms and say, "Hold this".

Posted by 0987654321234567890
Well, to further explain myself. Back in the olden days of DXP, we would throw an absurd joke out and others would joke around WITH you and take it EVEN FURTHER, and then we would bounce back and forth until we wet our pants. It was this weird chemistry. Those were the olden days, and so, that will never happen again. And I shouldn't expect t that from others. I forget the how the new posters are sane.

😢 LOVELY and so sweet, but quite sane. 😢

The Sultana,

Where do you come in here?

My issue was that I was hoping Blue Dot didn't think my tangent about how adults who aren't too fond of kids talk about them had anything to do with her joke.

I'd found her original joke amusing and I also noted that I hate the leash thingy but due to a short attention span was commenting on other people's posts as well.

So I'm not sure I know.











Where.













































Your.













































Little.




































Booboo (let's call it that).














































Comes in.
































Here.

Posted by TheSultana

Posted by 1two3go

yep.

Cool.

🙂

*This* doesnt work always buddy.. good try tho

My.

lil.

booboo.

comes in.

*listen carefully*

before DXP.

after DXP.

inbetween DXP.

and wherever the hell i might please to place it DOYAHEARMELOUDANDCLEAR?

now that we've taken care of that, let me splain to you this as well - i wasnt offending you or anything, was only hoping you wouldnt take it the wrong way, which you did... *pats back*....

yes, sorry that i was a total asshole there... but all was in good fun, was only making sure you understood me.

click to expand

Riiiiiiiiiiight. Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure yooooooooooou diiiiiiiiiiiiiidn't meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeean tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo offeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeend.

I'mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm sorryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy I was tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo slow to grassssssssppp what obviously was blatant trolling.

I'm also sorry that you're right: you've been a total asshole.

Ciiiiiiiiaaaaaaoooooo.

*slowly gets up, folds up towel, shakes off sand, and removes self from what WAS a fun day at the beach*

Posted by everevolvingepithet

Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
*slowly gets up, folds up towel, shakes off sand, and removes self from what WAS a fun day at the beach*

Oh manoman, don't mention towely !

click to expand

Posted by TheSultana
*knowing grin*

did you feel bad that I called you slow aqua?

well, thats kinda my way to socialize, mingle, i guess...

dont ya wish i trolled some more on yo lil booboo?

Ugh. The whole "I'm not joking - Joking!" thing is the style of a pussy male.

Jussayin.

Posted by TheSultana

Posted by 1two3go

Posted by TheSultana
*knowing grin*

did you feel bad that I called you slow aqua?

well, thats kinda my way to socialize, mingle, i guess...

dont ya wish i trolled some more on yo lil booboo?

Ugh. The whole "I'm not joking - Joking!" thing is the style of a pussy male.

Jussayin.

Whuh?

and ooooooo do i love me some Kevin Bacon... 😉... he's the shizzzzzz... even at 40/50/60/70 heck.. 100!!

click to expand

I.

WAS.

IMPLY.

ING.

THAT.

YOU.

ARE.

A.

PUSSY.

MALE!

(capslock font used to imply emphasis on each word).

Posted by TheSultana
WUT'S.

A.

Kitty.

MALE?

Y.























O.































U.





































You.

My daughter was maybe two or three. This very fat woman was crossing very slowly against the light that was about to change. So of course I said,"Move botch!". Before I finished the "ch" on bitch, I hear this baby voice from the back say, "Yeah move bitch!". Aaaaaahhh!! I wanted to rotfl! I said oh boy time to start watching my mouth.

Then another time, she was two. We were at her dad's house in rural PA after a major snowstorm. I put on her snowsuit and got dressed to go check the mail down the long driveway. As we're walking, I suddenly see my feet in sky. Which I knew couldn't be good lol. I bust my ass!!! She didn't even laugh. I was flat on my back and she came right over, and bent over me and "Mommy. You okay mommy? You okay? Come. Get up mommy. Come." and she grabbed my arm trying to pull me up. Awww. I was so touched.

Then when she was an infant and I'd wake up with her laying next to me and her big brown eyes would just be blinking, looking at me. Then when I would me, she would give that big toothless grin.

Want to have a baby yet?

Dang. I responded to the op. Then I read the last few posts and I'm like wtf? How are we talking about pussy males on this thread lol.

Posted by Mebs
My daughter was maybe two or three. This very fat woman was crossing very slowly against the light that was about to change. So of course I said,"Move botch!". Before I finished the "ch" on bitch, I hear this baby voice from the back say, "Yeah move bitch!". Aaaaaahhh!! I wanted to rotfl! I said oh boy time to start watching my mouth.

Then another time, she was two. We were at her dad's house in rural PA after a major snowstorm. I put on her snowsuit and got dressed to go check the mail down the long driveway. As we're walking, I suddenly see my feet in sky. Which I knew couldn't be good lol. I bust my ass!!! She didn't even laugh. I was flat on my back and she came right over, and bent over me and "Mommy. You okay mommy? You okay? Come. Get up mommy. Come." and she grabbed my arm trying to pull me up. Awww. I was so touched.

Then when she was an infant and I'd wake up with her laying next to me and her big brown eyes would just be blinking, looking at me. Then when I would me, she would give that big toothless grin.

Want to have a baby yet?

Honestly? Sorta.

You, VB and the other guy who's name I can't remember but can't look up because quote takes you away from the main page have some convincing arguments.

I just don't feel like I'd be a good dad. See "Do You love Yourself?" thread for the skinny.

Posted by Mebs
Dang. I responded to the op. Then I read the last few posts and I'm like wtf? How are we talking about pussy males on this thread lol.

That's DXP for ya. Sadly, I don't think there's any thread that's stayed on topic from start to finish.

Posted by TheSultana
yay..(altho still not totally sure what it means...) but for a female i sure did win a name on here...

A girl, huh? Figurz.

You don't get too many female trolls on DXP.

*makes mental note of TheSultana*

Annnyyyyyywhoooooooooo...

Posted by Prince_Pisces
I just don't feel like I'd be a good dad.

Then dont be one? lol

But kids are so wonderful, though!

Posted by Prince_Pisces
No, they're not LOL! They're messy and gross 😢

AHAHAHAHAHA! A sad face from the king of "lol"s? Those little bastards...

Posted by TheSultana

Posted by 1two3go

Posted by TheSultana
yay..(altho still not totally sure what it means...) but for a female i sure did win a name on here...

A girl, huh? Figurz.

You don't get too many female trolls on DXP.

*makes mental note of TheSultana*

Annnyyyyyywhoooooooooo...

I dont get what your problem is... and why you do keep piling it so high on me...

i can understand you are not ready to bury the hatchet here... but really? a troll? i hope you atleast do understand what you're saying...

and no, i'm not going to explain myself here and be long-winded just so you get to understand where i'm coming from (i'm not getting a vibe like that from you). If you understand, well and good... if not, yah, you can call me a troll all you want...


thank god atleast u only hate me.... not the whole gemini population (i need to have my laughter fix, and i dont care even if its at my expense... I'm determined to stay happy today, its the long weekend, and no need to be at workkk .... gleeeeeeeee)

click to expand

Kay kay.

Lay-tah!

Posted by 1two3go

Posted by Mebs
My daughter was maybe two or three. This very fat woman was crossing very slowly against the light that was about to change. So of course I said,"Move botch!". Before I finished the "ch" on bitch, I hear this baby voice from the back say, "Yeah move bitch!". Aaaaaahhh!! I wanted to rotfl! I said oh boy time to start watching my mouth.

Then another time, she was two. We were at her dad's house in rural PA after a major snowstorm. I put on her snowsuit and got dressed to go check the mail down the long driveway. As we're walking, I suddenly see my feet in sky. Which I knew couldn't be good lol. I bust my ass!!! She didn't even laugh. I was flat on my back and she came right over, and bent over me and "Mommy. You okay mommy? You okay? Come. Get up mommy. Come." and she grabbed my arm trying to pull me up. Awww. I was so touched.

Then when she was an infant and I'd wake up with her laying next to me and her big brown eyes would just be blinking, looking at me. Then when I would me, she would give that big toothless grin.

Want to have a baby yet?

Honestly? Sorta.

You, VB and the other guy who's name I can't remember but can't look up because quote takes you away from the main page have some convincing arguments.

I just don't feel like I'd be a good dad. See "Do You love Yourself?" thread for the skinny.

click to expand

I gotcha.

Posted by Mebs

Posted by 1two3go

Posted by Mebs
My daughter was maybe two or three. This very fat woman was crossing very slowly against the light that was about to change. So of course I said,"Move botch!". Before I finished the "ch" on bitch, I hear this baby voice from the back say, "Yeah move bitch!". Aaaaaahhh!! I wanted to rotfl! I said oh boy time to start watching my mouth.

Then another time, she was two. We were at her dad's house in rural PA after a major snowstorm. I put on her snowsuit and got dressed to go check the mail down the long driveway. As we're walking, I suddenly see my feet in sky. Which I knew couldn't be good lol. I bust my ass!!! She didn't even laugh. I was flat on my back and she came right over, and bent over me and "Mommy. You okay mommy? You okay? Come. Get up mommy. Come." and she grabbed my arm trying to pull me up. Awww. I was so touched.

Then when she was an infant and I'd wake up with her laying next to me and her big brown eyes would just be blinking, looking at me. Then when I would me, she would give that big toothless grin.

Want to have a baby yet?

Honestly? Sorta.

You, VB and the other guy who's name I can't remember but can't look up because quote takes you away from the main page have some convincing arguments.

I just don't feel like I'd be a good dad. See "Do You love Yourself?" thread for the skinny.

I gotcha.

click to expand

Yeah. As understanding as kids can be you can't NOT be strong for them.

They'll pick up on that and it'll chip away at their confidence as easily as physical or emotional abuse would.

That's what they're doing when they're not talking, you know: taking everything IN.

If I'm going to be in charge of a mini-me I want him or her to take in things that'll make them a rounded human being.

Not daddy in one of his emotional funks.

Posted by 1two3go

Posted by TheSultana
yay..(altho still not totally sure what it means...) but for a female i sure did win a name on here...

A girl, huh? Figurz.

You don't get too many female trolls on DXP.

*makes mental note of TheSultana*

Annnyyyyyywhoooooooooo...

click to expand

That's a lot like the troll calling the troll trollish, while being pointed out by a troll, no?

😄

Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal

Posted by 1two3go

Posted by TheSultana
yay..(altho still not totally sure what it means...) but for a female i sure did win a name on here...

A girl, huh? Figurz.

You don't get too many female trolls on DXP.

*makes mental note of TheSultana*

Annnyyyyyywhoooooooooo...

That's a lot like the troll calling the troll trollish, while being pointed out by a troll, no?

😄

click to expand

What is going on today? lol

I had a little misunderstanding with numbers girl that I tried to clear up and another chick misunderstanding the situation came at me and called me slow some minutes after i'd cleared this misunderstanding up!

Then I speculate about Wall-e being Lena and bling makes an ironic comment supposedly to put me on the spot.

And i'm a troll?! lol

Weird day in DXP land.

^^^^
Not calling Bling a troll by the way. Just trying to show that I was minding my own business both times.

TROL - It's a four letter word. 😄

I'm just playing with you boo boo. 😄 In that last comment you can clearly see I was also calling myself a troll.

Posted by everevolvingepithet
Kids are cool once they can start talking and doing stuff, at blob stage they cry and poop.

You make it sound like crying and pooping is a bad thing. Really, are you trying to make me feel bad about myself—

Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
TROL - It's a four letter word. 😄

I'm just playing with you boo boo. 😄 In that last comment you can clearly see I was also calling myself a troll.

Oh...

😄

Honestly? Sorta.

You, VB and the other guy who's name I can't remember but can't look up because quote takes you away from the main page have some convincing arguments.

I just don't feel like I'd be a good dad. See "Do You love Yourself?" thread for the skinny.

It doesn't matter 1two. Nobody's ever ready to be a parent. Hell, most people don't get much (if any) advanced notice that they are going to be a parent other than the, "Honey have a seat. I have something to tell you. We're gonna have a baby!" There are no checklists of classes to take and experts to consult because nobody can prepare you for the experience you are about to go through. It is a LEARNING experience. It is a time for YOU to take what your parents have taught you and expound upon it and instill your personal morals and beliefs into your flesh and blood.

Everybody has doubts about how good a parent they will be. Other than that pimple-faced dude hittin' the crack pipe, everyone should go through it at least once. You might learn a little, about yourself, about life, about selflessness, and on and on. I don't care if you love yourself, you WILL love your child and die for him/her.

Posted by OP3CRIMSIN
I don't care if you love yourself, you WILL love your child and die for him/her.

I keep telling people, dying for your children is easy. Living for them is much harder.

It's an expression. You knew what I meant.