Confused

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raven29
@raven29
15 Years

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Well, even though I am happy that my pisces has contacted me again i am very confused by the reason why. He was very adamant that I leave him alone and meant every word of it. No matter what I tried to do to make up for my mistakes up until that point was just making everything worse. I left him completely alone even though it was so damn hard and then he contacts me out of the blue again. I'm not getting my hopes up since I don't know the reason behind any of it :/ Any thoughts from anyone on this?? Is he just bored or something??
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PiscesArgie
@PiscesArgie
15 Years500+ Posts

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Raven, what are the mistakes you ve made to hurt him??

I guess it depends on how much you ve hurt his trust. He could be back because

-he has analysed the situation and is willing to forgive and move forward with the relationship

-he could be bored,, as you said, and lonely and looking for some entertainment (not likely in Pisces though)

-he feels there is still unfinished business between the two of you somehow

I would do as LAUREN says, ASK HIM

most probably he will be honest about it
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raven29
@raven29
15 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 60 · Topics: 5
Posted by ianthefish
Posted by raven29
I have learned that asking him only makes him retreat so I can't do that, at least right now.

I made the mistake of writing him a huge email when i was very hurt and angry and said things i never should have and definitely didn't mean.



he retreated after the email? or is that a separate occasion?
click to expand




after the email and it has been 2 months since he spoke to me after telling me to leave him alone.
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raven29
@raven29
15 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 60 · Topics: 5
Posted by Lauren89
@raven29
just ask him. I repeat. And if he gets annoyed that you did then that's his problem. You did a mistake, you honestly apologised now if he cannot get over it don't bother! There is nothing more you can do.

And if he brings it up again to hurt you then ask him why is he doing this. Is it because he wants something? Or is it just for fun? If it is for fun... ignore it for fun reasons or reply back. If it is for something serious then pay attention and listen to him.

If you were hurt or angry though... it must have been for a reason.



Yes i did have a reason to be hurt and angry but that is no excuse for saying hurtful things to him. That is a HUGE mistake on my part and one i will never forgive myself for. For some reason he has decided to allow me back into his life (for now anyway)and i am beyond thankful for that. I never in my wildest dreams thought it would ever happen. I am treading on eggshells right now and don't want to screw things up ever again. I'm just taking things one day at a time and letting him dictate how things will be. I'm hoping one day he will bring up the subject but for now i think it's best to keep quiet. I had thought of apologizing again but don't want to bring everything up again. He knows how i feel about everything already and I think i should leave well enough alone for now.
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P-Angel
@P-Angel
20 Years25,000+ PostsPisces

Comments: 0 · Posts: 44084 · Topics: 685
He may be around, but, guarantee you that he doesn't respect you. How could he? How could anyone?


First thing you need to do is stop lying. You told us that you didn't mean what you said, and certainly you told him this also and that is a deception. Of course you meant what you said. We mean what we say when we are having an emotional reaction.

Perhaps you didn't mean for it to come out the way it did, but, you meant it nevertheless .... and now too afraid to accept how you feel so you would resort to lying to yourself and whomever will listen about it.


He's a Pisces, which means he knows how you feel before you even open your mouth .. he can tell by the vibes, by the non-verbal expression because he is a Pisces, he can percieve the energy that you project and in this perception of energy, he can feel the emotion behind the impulse which motivates you say these words to him.


You can't fool him when it comes to how you feel .... and he also knows you meant what you said, and he also knows you are currently lying about it when you said you didn't mean it. He now sees you as weak and expendable, not able to even stand up for your own convictions.


What is your sun sign?
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raven29
@raven29
15 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 60 · Topics: 5
Posted by seavixen2
raven...just take things as they come. Go nice and slow and start from scratch. Like Invigorate_me said, you don't have to mince how you feel...we aren't babies so don't be afraid to speak your mind...just be careful how and what you say. I notice this is where all of us watersigns are similar-sometimes we take things too literally and forget that people say things in the heat of the moment and don't necessarily mean them when they are upset. This is when Scorpio sometimes vanishes, Cancers crawl into their shells, and Pisces swims a way-it's a defense mechanism used when we are hurt, or need to regroup, or done so we don't hurt someone. But you have a new beginning and I hope things work out.



Thank you. That is what I meant to say. I don't mean he can come and go and treat me however he wants, i just meant I will back off on the pressure and take things slow. Hopefully someday our friendship will be back to where it was for so many years. We were the best of friends, not lovers or anything like that. It may be a new beginning or not. I'm just taking things one day at a time right now.

I do have a backbone and am usually very strong but i also recognise that I fucked up huge and I am the one who needs to make things up to him. Yes he needed to be told but not in that way. unfortunately when i said what I did it was at the end of a very trying week in many ways and i let my emotions get the best of me.
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raven29
@raven29
15 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 60 · Topics: 5
Posted by Imagination
Posted by raven29

I made the mistake of writing him a huge email when i was very hurt and angry and said things i never should have and definitely didn't mean.



so.. why were you hurt and angry in the first place?
what did he do to you?
click to expand





In hindsight he really didn't do anything. There was a lot of bad stuff happening all at once and at the same time he did what he does at times....needed space....the only difference this time was he never said why and he always did before...he just disappeared which left me thinking I had done something to piss him off. Unfortunately for me I let all of my frustration with everything else out on him and attacked his character which is unforgiveable...you don't do that to such a good friend 😢
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raven29
@raven29
15 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 60 · Topics: 5
Posted by Lauren89
Is he a friend or a lover? I am confused!

And if he is a friend and you know him that well... how you didn't know that he needs his space in such cases?




He was my best friend for many years.

I didn't know because for some reason this time he hid everything from which was unlike him and that's why i thought I had done something.

As for needing space.....this time it was more than that. He very angrily told me to leave hime alone...period...more than once. My apologies were making things way worse so I left him alone like he asked 😢
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raven29
@raven29
15 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 60 · Topics: 5
Posted by Lauren89
Posted by raven29
Posted by Lauren89
Is he a friend or a lover? I am confused!

And if he is a friend and you know him that well... how you didn't know that he needs his space in such cases?





You say on your first post though that he returned back to talk to you right?
click to expand




Yes he did but they are very brief messages and I'm not sure why he has returned. I'm happy but very guarded and afraid of getting hurt again.