help...confused

recently started talking to a wonderful pisces, things were great. all lovey dovey etc. and then my stupid scorpio wannabe detective thing kicked in and i started getting suspicious, jealous, wanting to get to the bottom of "details" that i thought exsisted, but really didn't. and rather than just talking about it in the open, i was passive aggressive about the whole thing. this caused major drama. i apologized until i was blue in the face that i had done what i did, it was shameful on my part. i offered to give him time/space to figure things out and forgive me. after a huge blowout, we agreed to try to make this work, he wanted to take the time i offered, so i tried to fall back, not talk to him, not approach him in any shape or form. but he kept contacting me, you know, checking in with me to say "hi". this got majorly confusing for me because when i want time/space, i usually don't want to talk to the person i need time/space from. i couldn't understand why he just kept wanting to talk to me. so things were fine for a few days, casual conversation, etc. until he had another blowup at me out of nowhere, told me he didn't want to talk to me for a while, was a complete asshole to me, yelling, telling me i'm childish, kept bringing up how i hurt him, even though he KNEW how bad i felt about it, told me we were done for good. only a few hours later, i get an apology from him for being an asshole and that he overreacted to the whole situation. things seemed ok, we were going to work on being friends. i took a MAJOR step back because the outburst of emotions/anger from him just made me a bit weary and i put my guard up.i did forgive him for exploding at me like that.

things were ok once again, i stayed back, waited for him to talk to me because i wanted to know he was ready....he went only a day without talking to me before the talking started again. things were totally fine, we discussed him coming to visit me (his idea), so i was trying to figure out details, he seemed excited about everything and then the next night, again, out of NOWHERE, he changes his mind completely and said he's done with me for good, that he didn't want to come out here, just completely freaked out. it's been a couple of days since i've heard from him and i'm trying to figure out if this is a pisces thing or not. this wishy-washy, hot and cold behavior, because it's confusing the hell out of me. how does one go from wanting to be with me one day and the next, nothing? advice.

yes, i was thinking that myself. he kept claiming i was unstable, but you know, with a scorpio, we either love you or hate you, and most of our intensity comes from the fact that we care so much. it's messed up, but true. we don't waiver. so i tried to calm my behavior and i was doing a good job of it, but he just keeps on harping on what i did, even though it was WEEKS ago and it was a momentary lapse in judgement on my part.

i mean, the whole thing is just so confusing, he's been so all over the place the past week, letting me go, bringing me back, letting me go etc.

i have no idea who i'm talking to now, i don't know which one is the REAL him. haha. the nice guy i met in the beginning or this confused mess guy i'm dealing with right now. he's just been downright mean, hurtful (although he claims he's just being honest), pessimistic, all of these things he wasn't in the beginning.

i know pisces *can be* flighty and a bit flaky so i wasn't sure if this sign changes it's mind like this over and over again...

what have i gotten my heart involved in?!

"i'm trying to figure out if this is a pisces thing or not. this wishy-washy, hot and cold behavior, because it's confusing the hell out of me. how does one go from wanting to be with me one day and the next, nothing? advice."

-honestly, i think this is not a pisces thing, but just a "guy thing". guys of every sign can act this way...it is a guy that is confused as to what he wants and is not yet ready to commit himself and it afraid of commitment...it is a guy who doesn't know himself and doesn't love himself, and as a result cannot give his love to someone else.

he could also be getting "revenge" on you for whatever it is that you did before...

i agree with starfish...he seems very unstable.

eh, i just don't know what to do, i don't know why i care so much....i think i care because we both spent a lot of time building a foundation for something...i mean, for him to hold one thing against me (even though what i did was the one thing he FEARED most in a relationship, and he told me this when we first started talking, and i went and did exactly what he was scared of)....even though i'm sorry about it. i've forgiven him for doing things that i'm scared of...the freaking out, the explosions of anger (i had an ex do exactly the same things to me about 8 mos. ago)....but i forgave him because people make mistakes, you know?

sometimes i hate being a scorpio, we have this inability to let go of situations and people...

are pisces good and turning the emotions on and off? how do i appeal to his more sensitive side without looking needy—

i've written him an email telling him i'm sorry that it turned out this way and that i feel cheated that we never got a chance to get this off the ground, hoping that somewhere, his pisces sensitivity will kick in....he's always been super sensitive, so i don't know where this brashness is coming from.

scorptothecore...what is "it" exactly that you did to him that he will not forgive you for— did you stalk him for a while and show your untrusting side, or did you cheat on him and do something for him to not trust you? if you don't mind, can we have more insight...

oh, ok...i just re-read the original post. so you showed your jealous side and he didn't like that? what type of actions were you taking? were you stalking him at all—

to answer you moonchild, no i wasn't stalking haha. i merely called him out about some girl (which was BAD on my part, so new into a relationship, but i was feeling confused)... and he HATES jealousy....we've both made our screw ups....

just an update, he did contact me today, said he still hoped i was his friend and that he was purposely trying to push me away by being mean to me....but he saw that i was pretty tough and wasn't going anywhere because he was acting out.....us scorps are known for that behavior, we stick around like it's our job, esp. when we feel we have a connection or that the person's reasons for doing things are total BS.

so, i don't know where to go from here.....i think he's ruled out all possibility of a relationship between us, but i can't help but feel that it isn't completely off the table because we keep gravitating back to each other some how.

Hi
very similar situation I had!Just to give you some idea from my experience-if they are not evolved enough very difficult to cope with a pisces man.if he cant handle his own emotions how are you going to? as well as your own emotions of course! he sounds to me bit emotionally unstable and immature!I was involved in a same kind of -pull/push relationship over and over again - he never ended!
i am also a scorpio and can totally relate to way you think and behave!

well if you are not careful it might turn into love/hate kind of relationship like what happened with us!

i second what passion fruit said, and starfish and i had mentioned it earlier...this guy sounds very unstable. and until he has himself figured out, he cannot be in a healthy relationship, so it is best you let it go while it is still pretty early on.

Stop being an anal retentive and tell what on your mind.

Gosh...you sound like a Virgo...

"pisces *can be* flighty and a bit flaky"

"i did was the one thing he FEARED most in a relationship, and he told me this when we first started talking, and i went and did exactly what he was scared of"

"i've forgiven him for doing things"

"i hate being a scorpio, we have this inability to let go"


lol, I have a question for you: Do you ever listen to yourself? You are all over the place here . . certainly being a Pisces, he sensed this unstableness in you.

If YOU have an inability to let go of a situation, then perhaps you need to address your own problems before you go saying he has issues. One thing you MUST realize BEFORE trying to date a Pisces . . we can sense when a person is unstable.

Certainly, I'm not condoning his behaviour . . I'm only suggesting that it appears as though YOU as well, have some areas within yourself that needs addressing.

If you are unstable, then, how can you point a finger at someone else and say that they have a problem?

Know thyself first . . then start on an adventure of getting to know another.

🙂

interesing P-Angel! why would you consider her as unstable? i dont! i can see myself writng something similar!

for me it is the opposite! how i see is she failed controlling her weakness by being jealous or whatever she did which set him off. but she was mature enough to accept the fact that her weakness got the best of her! -that i would see as being strong not many ppl can accept their failures- and apologised!! why carry on and make it a bigger deal?


for me once ppl realise they made a mistake and try to correct by being genuinely sorry is the end of that matter! no point keep bringing up only makes other feel worse!it is destructive rather that being constructive !!

"One thing you MUST realize BEFORE trying to date a Pisces . . we can sense when a person is unstable."

why pisces react extreme to weaknesses? is it because they are not comfortable what they see? is it the exact same thing what they hate about themselves the most?

pf . . my reason for saying this is this:

"i hate being a scorpio, we have this inability to let go"

This suggests that she is the one who can't let go, yet, says that he is back and forth, back and forth . . yet, by her own admission, SHE is the one who can't let go.

So, this leads me to believe that, though, she says she has forgotten and forgiven, in reality, she has not, for if she has forgotten and has let this go, she wouldn't then be saying that she hates being a Scorpio for this reason.

Read between the lines . . people talk in half truths . . by nature, we all want to be right because we have to believe in ourselves . . therefore, when we relay an episode about something to another, we slant it in our own direction. Everybody does this, we all do . . you get fired from work, you tell your spouse you were laid off.

Embellishments aren't bad all the time . . if it protects our self-esteem.

A person isn't going to hate something about theirselves, unless they are feeling guilty about that quality . . lol

If I say I hate something about myself, then that means I did it. If I didn't do it, why would I hate it? lol

If a person CANNOT accept themselves, even their flaws . . then there is an issue which needs to be addressed inside the person. Because if they cannot accept themselves, then how can they relate to and accept another person?

i disagree! what i understand from
"i hate being a scorpio, we have this inability to let go" is

she is aware of her own personality (positive and negative sides) and finds it difficult to let go of her passion, her interest, her love etc.. whatever you want to call it!

as being a scorpio myself, if my feelings engaged with smt or smb it is in the centre of my heart and everything else is around this!- i think this is what they mean by intensity of scorpio! all or nothing, love or hate, black and white nature !- you either in or out-you cant take a break and still call everyday!!

you cant be back and forth that is how you will mess up my mind- i would have to discard you or forgive to justify!depending on my interest level

and she chooses to forgive and hates for being in this position !!!

this is how i would interpret!!

Here's an example of what I mean about if you don't know yourself, then how can you understand and accept another person:

"we agreed to try to make this work, he wanted to take the time i offered, so i tried to fall back, not talk to him, not approach him in any shape or form. but he kept contacting me, you know, checking in with me to say "hi". this got majorly confusing for me because when i want time/space, i usually don't want to talk to the person i need time/space from. i couldn't understand why he just kept wanting to talk to me"

It was agreed to try this relationship, however, he needed time and space. Ok
However, he still wants to try this, so he calls her, just to check in and say hi.
This got majorly confusing to her.
When she wants time/space, she doesn't react this way. Ok, but he is him, not her.
Why can't this be understood, that he is different? It's not that hard to comprehend that people handle things differently . . doesn't sound confusing to me.
Last sentence says she couldn't understand why he kept wanting to talk to her.
Isn't that simple? Because he wants to try a relationship.

Nothing in here sounds off about him, except him just being a guy . .

Tend to agree with Haffo's simple yet to the piont assessment, she's being anal retentive because by her own admission, "my stupid scorpio wannabe detective thing kicked in and i started getting suspicious, jealous, wanting to get to the bottom of "details" that i thought exsisted, but really didn't. and rather than just talking about it in the open, i was passive aggressive about the whole thing. this caused major drama."

It's not rocket science . . it's elementary.

People are who people are . . accept them for their differences and life won't be so damn hard.

Well, then, if you are a Scorpio, then there's no point in explaining. No wonder you don't get it . . never mind . . carry on

cool!

"When she wants time/space, she doesn't react this way. Ok, but he is him, not her.
Why can't this be understood, that he is different? It's not that hard to comprehend that people handle things differently . . doesn't sound confusing to me."

exactly

she has her ways to handle it- but capable of undertanding he has different ways than hers and showing that flexibility by allowing him to be back and forth!!!giving him the space until he can stabilize his emotions and figure out what he wants !


that is not her being unstable !!!

I'm done . . you may continue on coaching her on how to ignore the self, while blaming the guy for being male.

Carry on . . .

ok - didnt want to annoy you!

i am going to bed too!

i can do anything but coaching smb!

just wanted to express that i dont feel she is 'unstable' opposite to what you thought about her!


"If you are unstable, then, how can you point a finger at someone else and say that they have a problem?

Know thyself first . . then start on an adventure of getting to know another."


i am not blaming the guy for being the male - because he is the male! is it alright to to call/blame her unstable ?


this is where everybody express how they feel and agree to disagree, right?


goodnight