How To Apologize To A Pisces? (And Will They Forgive?)

My Pisces fella moved to another state last Monday. We’ve been communicating everyday. However, yesterday was a bit of a problem.

Wednesday night, a mutual male friend of ours came over to my house, drank beer and hung out. That night he said to me, “Do you know why [Pisces] was not hanging out with us much in April? But you can’t tell him I told you!” (I was thinking “Yeah, because he was purging and packing all his belongings for his move. Plus he was doing the typical Pisces pull-away moves.” But I didn’t say this to our friend.)

“Okay, I won’t. Why?” I ask.

“Because he was f-ing four [women] from [his work].”

I tried my best to keep my face straight and I said “Four?! Are you sure about that?” And he says “Oh, yes!” And he walked out of the room to get himself a beer.

So I stew about this for a couple days and discuss amongst a few girlfriends (a few who say that he would never do that to me and a few who declared him human garbage). Finally yesterday, Saturday, I call him and tell him what our mutual friend said.

His response was to chuckle a little. I made sure to tell him that I thought our friend was lying. I said “When would you have the time for all that? You were always with me?” And he said “I wouldn’t have the time!” Then I said, “Even those few weeks you weren’t really with me very often, you were probably busy packing and going through your stuff and hanging out with friends you wouldn’t see for a while.”

When I brought up the times he wasn't with me, he interrupted. He said “I don’t owe anyone an explanation. I’m an adult and I can do whatever I want. I don’t owe [mutual friend] an explanation and I don’t owe you an explanation.” Wow. 😳

And I said, “I know, but it pissed me off that he was saying that!” And [Pisces] went on to tell me that when he told people he was moving, a lot of people were happy for him, but some people got downright venomous. And he said it was disappointing that [mutual friend] was saying this about him.

I said, “I didn’t believe [mutual friend], but I had to ask him again last night because it still pissed me off that he said that. So I asked him ‘Did [Pisces] come out and tell you this or is this just a rumor going around about him?’ And he hemmed and hawed around and wouldn’t really answer the question other than to say I should get tested for STDs.”

Then [Pisces] said that this is “soap opera sht” and that he “really doesn’t appreciate even being told about this.” Yikes! 😳 And I said “Yeah, but I didn’t know how to react to what he was saying. And I thought you would want to know.” Then he said it all comes from ego and that’s why [mutual friend] was saying these things. He also said that [mutual friend] wanting to hang out with me and crash at my place was probably the reason he said all this.

I felt like he was mad at me when we got off the phone. But maybe he was just mad at the fact that [mutual friend] was saying this sht about him and that I was listening to it. Or he was mad that he was caught. In any case, he didn’t respond to any of my texts for the rest of the day.

Now it’s Sunday morning and I’m wondering what I should do. I want to apologize to him so that he won’t be upset with me any longer. Will he forgive me for even entertaining this gossip?

what does "fella" mean in this history, is the Pisces a friend or something else, why would you get mad at the prospect of he having sex with other women? why did your mutual friend said that you should get tested for STDs., I imagine why, but I wonder why you came here with half the story, whats the point.

you really want to apologise so that he's not upset with you anymore, instead of idk, guilt of making a wrong

Posted by Endless
what does "fella" mean in this history, is the Pisces a friend or something else, why would you get mad at the prospect of he having sex with other women? why did your mutual friend said that you should get tested for STDs., I imagine why, but I wonder why you came here with half the story, whats the point.

you really want to apologise so that he's not upset with you anymore, instead of idk, guilt of making a wrong

By “fella,” I mean the guy I’ve been seeing for around 7-8 months. My best friend, lover, partner.

He doesn’t owe his gf an explanation? That’s interesting...🤔

Mmm in men circles, we don't call each other slut or what not, generally, guys like to boast about how much women they can get, so this gossip either came from your fella, it could be a lie he told some male friends to act more "stud" or some women spread it in your circle of mutual friends, or that mutual friend has a thing for you, really there's not many reasons why your mutual friends would say that to you, but he was drinking so it might have slipped his tongue.

the whole not owning you an explanation and you saying i know, really is something there

Posted by tiziani
It's annoying when people beat around the bush. That's probably half the reason why he was pissed.

The other half is you letting someone else into your relationship together.

Really and truly it's better to just be direct with your boyfriend. Why it pissed you off, or whatever else you're feeling. But going the long way around by running through the time he's spent here and there isn't known to get good results out of anybody. Dunno what everyone else is smoking here with their take on it. I'd like to see anyone post a story about how they went through their partner's timetable, then went behind their back to once again rope in a third party and ask questions, and turn that into a success story.

Good points! I don’t think I explained myself to y’all very well though! He moved out of state for work, I have another year on my rental lease and can’t go anywhere without paying out the wazoo. So I’m stuck here for time being. I didn’t ask our mutual friend anything, he randomly brought it up (not necessarily randomly, we were talking about my boyfriend’s family member that is ill and I guess it made him think to tell me about my guy’s “supposed” escapes?) I always thought the reason he wasn’t in a whole lot of contact in the month of April was due to purging, packing, moving, working, etc. We still texted every day or talked on the phone, and we saw each other a few times each week, but it was drastically cut short. A move will do that to you! No big deal, but it did suck because I love his company.

Anyway, the reason I told him is because our mutual friend made me very confused. My Pisces is the very open with me, totally trustworthy, and caring. And our mutual friend put a seed of doubt in my head. Then I struggled thinking, “There’s no way he would do that to me.” Basically, I overthought everything, when I should’ve just ignored what he said. So I called my Pisces and told him. Now I feel bad about the whole thing and want to apologize because I did doubt him for a moment.

Posted by tiziani
Anyway the point being, I'd just tell him how you feel. Directly. You said you were pissed off but it seems like more than that.

No, I think HE was pissed off at me.

Posted by UnicornSag

Posted by tiziani
It's annoying when people beat around the bush. That's probably half the reason why he was pissed.

The other half is you letting someone else into your relationship together.

Really and truly it's better to just be direct with your boyfriend. Why it pissed you off, or whatever else you're feeling. But going the long way around by running through the time he's spent here and there isn't known to get good results out of anybody. Dunno what everyone else is smoking here with their take on it. I'd like to see anyone post a story about how they went through their partner's timetable, then went behind their back to once again rope in a third party and ask questions, and turn that into a success story.

This was actually a really passive-aggressive post that she made. She doesn't say he's her boyfriend anywhere, he's her "fella" probably meaning fwb. In that case she literally doesn't have the right to ask about those questions. And it's probably all true. The mutual friend is probably trying to do her too. The Pisces has probably slept with others too. They're probably not in a relationship which is why she can't demand responses cause he probably made it clear.
Again, accent on all this being probably but from the story she wrote this is how it sounds like. Seen stories like that many times, it's not uncommon at all and it usually goes like this click to expandclick to expand

click to expand

I apologize if my post was passive-aggressive. He is my boyfriend. I say boyfriend, fella, partner, person (as in, “he’s my person”). We have a committed relationship, but he moved out of state for work and I have a year left on my lease.