Is it possible your soulmate doesn't love you back

For a few years I've been asking advice on a certain cancerian man . I would say love the pass two years we've have grown closer due to him and I reconnecting . Mostly because me being away in college ( my undergrad years) and leaving our hometown. I would receive things from him always stating he missed me , he felt our " friendship" should go elsewhere , things of that nature. Two different occasions he asked to be with me but I didn't say yes because at that age I was scared to have a relationship with a close friend/ and i felt i would deprived myself the whole college experience thing because of being in a long distance relationship.
Two years ago we reconnected and we began speaking almost everyday, it was as if we left off where him and I started. Him and I became an emotional outlet for each other, ( support system, business planners, great conversation , same personality )

HOWEVER: I began to relieve communicating was great but also was suffocating. If I didn't answer his calls from being in the clock he would call me excessively , or have someone call me

2.) If I told him no or If he asked me something and I said I wasn't comfortable talking about it he would get upset stating I was always hiding things .

3.) Even though he would always call me and ask who I was in the car with when I said I was driving during an argument he would say things like " you're not my gf".

4.) He would send me really nostalgic text messages like:Vibing with you is making a better person, for my interactions with you allows me to pratice ways of goodness.I wish we could have realized how great we each are many years ago!! I gain much comfort knowing, with whatever little you will need from me that you shall make it over the horizon and walk with me into the valley of our future! Be at peace with Life's burdens we will make it!

Because of the suffocating behavior/ arguments we don't get along. Its been over two months since we spoke , my bday just passed and he didn't reach because of a fallen out. I've been doing well most day however i miss him but i don't know if i was in an unrequited love situation however after this disagreement him and I had he said he wasn't calling me anymore and i just hung up.

I don't know if I was in love but I really think he is my soulmate , its really hard to put into words

Posted by CLASSifiedPisces
...
I don't know if I was in love but I really think he is my soulmate , its really hard to put into words

Why?


The whole "vibing with you is making me a better person..."

doesn't seem to make you feel good, so much as guilty.


Either way, this is one of those situations where you

have to just go with your gut... don't question yourself

so much, and trust your intuition.


And to answer your question-- if he was a 'soulmate' I

imagine the feeling would be mutual, by definition.

I'm sorry to say this but all I read was red flags!

Constant ringing or getting someone else to call if you don't answer

Acussing you of hiding things when you don't want to share certain things.

Questioning who you are with and all your movements.

Saying emotionally overloaded things to make you feel like he depends on your love/care to be a better man. Then dismissing your relationship in an argument.

ALL OF THE ABOVE screams unhealthy, controlling and possessive behaviour!
If you are an Aries I'm surprised you put up with this. You said yourself it was suffocating.

It's not an unrequited love thing, it's an 'I can't control you' thing! IMO

Sorry to be blunt but I think you've had a lucky escape and should now move on

Sorry, I see you are a Pisces, in Pisces forum, my bad, I assumed you an Aries as you said you just had your bday. I clicked on from home page. But I'm still surprised you put up with this.

Posted by PastelPlum
Love is not enough. There must be balance, strength, compromise, communication and mutual sync. This will build trust. Else it is nothing and never will be anything. If your soulmate doesn't love you back, it is for a good reason. Maybe they are incapable of a strong and good relationship. Maybe they hunk YOU are incapable. In any case, both are not in sync, and some soul mates just won't work out.

Speaking of losing who I considered a soul mate, I have literally asked myself and the world in fits of tears or in cold acceptance why cant love be enough...

After reading this I can tell that you're really young. I used to feel the same way as you.
I think the guy might have been one of your soulmates if there is such a thing.
If there is i don't believe in the one.... I think there's like seven ( and they can be platonic as well).lol


But also I agree with the ram . You seem to have had an unhealthy codependent relationship with him.
Relationships romantic or platonic or not supposed to be like that.

Impulsv : you really hit the nail on the head as I feel that was both our mistakes . I take place in the departure because I never told him how I felt even when on the rare occasions he asked me straight forward or implied in a subtle way

Monte: thank you for your insight

You as well Abby and PastelPlum

A dream and Ram thank you for your insight . It was suffocating at times , but equally bliss / supportive / and loving .

Just to let both you know him and I are both young well I just turned 25 in March and he will be 25 in July , he is a cancer .

Not only was it suffocating but sometimes draining because some of his actions was contradicting I'm sure you both get me from what I stated above

Posted by Montgomery

Posted by CLASSifiedPisces
...
I don't know if I was in love but I really think he is my soulmate , its really hard to put into words

Why?


The whole "vibing with you is making me a better person..."

doesn't seem to make you feel good, so much as guilty.

Either way, this is one of those situations where you
have to just go with your gut... don't question yourself
so much, and trust your intuition.

And to answer your question-- if he was a 'soulmate' I

imagine the feeling would be mutual, by definition.

click to expand

This. +1000000
he's not your soulmate if you are doubting. and you don't feel safe and secure.

I'm responding but I no longer see the comment lol

I would have to disagree , if I allow my heart to speak I truly feel he feels the same way , despite his controlling nature or the miscommunications that occur . I know if him and I saw ever cross paths again which I feel as well will be sooner than later , I have promised myself I would but my pride and possibly insecure / fear and let him know how I feel . Him and I both deserve that ! I have been wanting to tell him and he askes me

No. If the person you feel is your soulmate doesn't love you, he is not your soulmate. Soul. Mate. Two powerful worlds conjoin to create a grand and definitive term for a special kind of love. One-sided is not apart of that love in any way, shape or form.

Sweetie, soul mates, fairies and Santa Claus don't exist. "Soulmate" is a poetic description of someone who satisfies your needs, at least your recent ones.

If you dislike his behaviour during dating.......he doesn't give you what you need and never will.

Posted by CLASSifiedPisces
A dream and Ram thank you for your insight . It was suffocating at times , but equally bliss / supportive / and loving .

Just to let both you know him and I are both young well I just turned 25 in March and he will be 25 in July , he is a cancer .

Not only was it suffocating but sometimes draining because some of his actions was contradicting I'm sure you both get me from what I stated above

I do get you as I've been in a relationship like this. Believe me when you feel suffocated like that it's time to jump ship.

I'm not dismissing what you had or felt, but if you feel like this you have to go with this instinct. In my experience it doesn't ease up or get better.

Undine: I don't believe in fairies / Clauses however I do believe their is a soulmate for someone or a true love . I also believe in Karmic relationships .
I wouldn't have considered him and I dating because I never stated my feelings for him . I even have a hard time knowing if I was in love

Thanks for the advice MadMarchRam. It's really weird because I miss speaking to him however sometimes I do think of what transpired to get him and I to this point . It would be wise of be to never forget that and let that part be apart of the decision I need to make

Posted by CLASSifiedPisces
Thanks for the advice MadMarchRam. It's really weird because I miss speaking to him however sometimes I do think of what transpired to get him and I to this point . It would be wise of be to never forget that and let that part be apart of the decision I need to make

Of course you'll miss him and remember the good times. It's part of the process. I just hope you come to the right decision for your long term happiness and well being.

"Soul mate" is just an idea you're clinging to to keep you invested in a rocky relationship. If this were going to work out, it would have worked out by now. Regardless of how you feel about a man, if the relationship is not moving toward commitment, you need to set a "sell by" date and then move on. It's never easy but if you stay in a going nowhere relationship, you're the one whose taking yourself off the market and you're the one whose losing out. Women waste an amazing amount of time & energy on men who just aren't "in it to win it." You're wasting your time. This has been going on for years. Cut bait and swim.

Thank you MarchMadRam I really appreciate your advice and I'll take it and do my best to figure this out

Este8 : it was never a relationship , my regret with this whole thing is not telling him how I felt , it could of put a lot into prospective even when he asked me to speak my peace I didn't .
Lol at tiziani, that's the first time I heard that

If you never had a relationship with him, I'm not understanding why you're feeling badly over not telling him how you felt. What good would that have done? I'm old school. I think men need to chase not because it's wrong for us to chase but because in the vast majority of cases it does not work out for us when we do. Besides, women choose men. Not the other way around. Men who are interested in us actively look for signs and cues of our interest in them. If this guy were really into you like you are into him, he would have busted a move and you'd be in a relationship. When love is one-sided like it fundamentally is in your case - you're not really doing the same things - you are the one left feeling badly and rejected. That's why it's in your best interest to cut bait & swim. He's holding you back. And you're letting him do that maybe because it's easier to invest in a fantasy than risk for true love. Things to consider anyway.

I'm sure it isn't one sided with him telling me how he felt twice ( of course he could of change his mind )

- or being so curious by how I feel about him

Your assumption was I didn't tell him because fear of rejected . The reality is I didn't say anything
1.) in fear of losing our friendship if anything went wrong ( that both happened to him and I with two other individuals

2.) his combative / controlling behavior that came out once in a while .

One -sided wouldn't be him telling his bestfriend and his mom he likes me ,I don't think they would lie . Even now his Bestfriends calls me ( this pass Sunday ) asking are we speaking again , and teasing me about this situation .

HOWEVER Este8 your comments show validity but in a more generalize way . I don't feel it holds 100 percent truth to my situation. However I am moving on , him and I are both absent in each other life . This post shown the difficulty in doing so

Posted by Gobshite
When a woman reveals her penis, is she still a woman?

Yes. If that is the gender she identifies with.

"One -sided wouldn't be him telling his bestfriend and his mom he likes me ,I don't think they would lie. Even now his Bestfriends calls me ( this pass Sunday ) asking are we speaking again , and teasing me about this situation." I agree that it's unlikely that they would lie about that. But the fact he hasn't busted a move and you clearly like him as more than a friend strongly suggests to me that he doesn't feel enough or he'd bust the move and that there's not enough there for a relationship. My concern for your situation is that because you do like this man, it's holding you back from moving on. You say you're going to do that and I honestly think it's the right call. Men chase after what they want. I was with a Pisces man for 7 years. He made his intentions clear from the beginning, was consistent throughout the relationship and we had a good one for several years. There was just an age difference between us and his tendency to stay stuck and issues with depression were what broke us up. This isn't a zodiac thing. It's a man thing. If they want you, they'll cross a crocodile filled swamp to bring you back a lemonade. Again, women waste an amazing amount of time, heart and energy on men who just aren't worth the effort. Save yourself for someone who appreciates you enough to court you. You decide what you're worth. And I say you deserve the whole enchilada. But you won't get it if you cling to false hope. Good luck. I've been where you are. I just didn't let it play out that long.

Posted by CLASSifiedPisces
Monte: thank you for your insight

You as well Abby and PastelPlum

You're welcome.


Thanks for abbreviating my name properly

(sooo suspect *side eye*)


😛

Lol you're welcome Montgomery

I understand Este8 , I appreciate your insight .

Posted by Este8
"Soul mate" is just an idea you're clinging to to keep you invested in a rocky relationship. If this were going to work out, it would have worked out by now. Regardless of how you feel about a man, if the relationship is not moving toward commitment, you need to set a "sell by" date and then move on. It's never easy but if you stay in a going nowhere relationship, you're the one whose taking yourself off the market and you're the one whose losing out. Women waste an amazing amount of time & energy on men who just aren't "in it to win it." You're wasting your time. This has been going on for years. Cut bait and swim.

Posted by seraph
It might me best to just drop this whole "soulmate/twin flame/emotionally conjoined love-twin" business.

All these ditzy labels are doing is creating a false sense of reality, thereby creating distorted expectations.

click to expand

both of you got alot of REALITY check coming in. This is so true.

i believe the problem also lies in the other party member. Why not just tell them straight, 'hey i'm not into you ok? i've got myself a new girl and we're engaged."

it's devastating yes, but isn't it better than wasting years and years pining? it's so tragic.

I had to block a few people I'm all for public opinion but please do so with respect

Much Love ??_—

Update:So the weirdest unexpected thing occurred tonight . His bestfriend ( which is also I friend of mine ) and he's a big advocate for wanting me and his bestfriend to be together . He knows what transpired between him and I and he told him he was going to tell him about hisself . What ever he said to him must of resonated or he must of knew what was best because he called me tonight ( I haven't heard from him est January ) and he apologized for how he treated me, he started off the conversation by saying are you still mad at me? . I humbly accepted his apology . However Idk if I want him in my life right now , I really was hurt by what happened. Oddly he's jumping in head first as if nothing happened wanting to speak everyday .

Tiziani what's the difference between twin flames and soulmates ? I never understood

If its a real Soul-Mate, it's love.
Maybe an inconvenient, unconventional, teaching, guiding, distant, ancient, universal, psychic, unspoken, non-possessive, altruistic, asexual, enabling Love.

Not what you want.
But what you need.

Trinkets are 21 Carat.
Souls are 21 Grams.

Heavy huh?

Posted by CLASSifiedPisces
I had to block a few people I'm all for public opinion but please do so with respect

The block feature doesn't block people from posting on your thread .. it only blocks you from being able to see the posts.


so, though you think you're some kind of savour ... really, you're just a dumbass who thinks she is controlling others. By saying that, you're not controlling other people ... you're just making as ass out of yourself.

Posted by Huldra

Soulmate is a word used by hopeless obsessed souls.

^^^^