Pisces demanding a relationship?

This is about the same Pisces I've posted about before.

Here's a brief timeline

-Met at a bar and seemed uninterested

-He was figuring out his LDR status

-Became interested/attached

-Want to move too quickly

I really like him. He's so supportive and takes a lot of weight off my shoulders. At the same time he causes me an abundance of stress. We're not in a formal relationship yet and he's constantly looking over my shoulder and questioning my whereabouts. He has trust issues, and I can be understanding because I've been in his position before. Yet, as I'm trying to be patient with him he keeps demanding a relationship out of me.

It's not that I don't want to be with him but I don't want to put my energy into someone who doesn't offers me any emotional stability. He sees it as having commitment issues but I feel like it's just me trying to build a strong foundation first.



Should I continue to be patient or just move on? Whenever I distance myself of ask for alone time he automatically feels like I'm abandoning him so I don't want him to be hurt.

He's a Pisces rising, sun and Mercury. Moon in Gemini, Mars in Taurus and Venus in Aquarius.

I'm a libra sun, moon and Mercury. Aquarius rising, mars in Leo and Venus in Virgo.

It seems like you already know what you want.

Let him know and don't play with him. Tell him the truth... you don't have to be brutal, but lay it all out and don't back down. So he can move on and not think you are messing with him too.

If you don't want to go there... don't wasting everyone's time isn't going to make things better. It will make the disconnect even more hurtful and he will become more disillusioned by what he thinks you both want.

This makes me sad. Us Pisces can be the most supportive and caring folks, and truly loving people and yet we do seem to muck up with our self-esteem/insecurity 😢

Please please, if you like him in terms of anything regarding a real relationship that you can both work on, don't give up on him........ not sure about the women Libras, but the men have a tendency to sweep issues under the carpet and not broach things........ I experienced this.... Libra guy was always there but was becoming irritable and rude at times..... this turned out to be because he felt I magnified some things and made issues out of small things. By the time he managed to blurt this out, because we know Libra hates confrontation, it was really too late and I swam the hell away.

You really do have to spell it out to him..... tell him you really like him BUT you cannot deal with this behaviour and that it is endangering your relationship short term, let alone long term. That he really does need to stop because you NEED stability from a partner, particularly from an emotional point of view. You see great things in him BUT this issue is starting to make you feel drained.

It is exactly what I needed to be told..... I never worried about his whereabouts, I don't have that kind of issue, but I did pick at him about other stuff...... it made him feel like I was tarring him with the same brush as other men that had treated me badly. He really did his best, as I am sure you are doing, but at times we can get stuck in a behaviour pattern and really can't see how much it affects another, and we need our partner to grab us by the shoulders and give us a firm talking to. Libra man didn't do that, he tried nicey nicey, it's all ok, ignore ignore etc etc..... that really is not the solution! It actually made me feel that all the nice things and words at the beginning of our relationship were just false because he could talk the talk when all was positive, but fell short when things became negative and basically started distancing himself because he didn't want to deal with it.

Most of us can take criticism when it is actually designed to improve things and prefer someone being firm with us..... I can be a handful and I need my man to be a leader at times.... I need telling off!!

If you feel for this person please try..... changed behaviour can only tell you whether it works I know, and yes patience really really is needed, maybe more than you have. I realise now that my Libra had been getting frustrated for some time but so was I, I wanted communication not someone who stuck his head in the sand. I know myself and I know that given time and patience, I will feel comfortable and safe and things will fall into place.

We have so much to offer, my own sign causes me to pull my hair out at times!

Good luck with whatever you choose. If you have known this person for a few months, give it more time..... if you have known them much much longer, then perhaps you have given it longer enough, but that is up for you to decide.

Posted by tbird
It seems like you already know what you want.

Let him know and don't play with him. Tell him the truth... you don't have to be brutal, but lay it all out and don't back down. So he can move on and not think you are messing with him too.

If you don't want to go there... don't wasting everyone's time isn't going to make things better. It will make the disconnect even more hurtful and he will become more disillusioned by what he thinks you both want.

This is good advice. I'm not backing down but it's frustrating to feel like I'm training a child between right and wrong. He's ten years older than me but he told me he was a late bloomer because he struggled with self esteem and acne most of his life.

He vented to me that he's pushing a relationship on me because he's afraid I won't commit and he doesn't want to invest more feelings for nothing. It makes sense but at the same time he's doing the exact opposite.

Sorry @libralotus, but I think he is fibbing! A Pisces who doesn't want to invest more feelings.... we can't help ourselves!!! We will do that without thinking of ourselves..... we love to love. Anyone knows you cannot force commitment, even as Pisces I know good relationships take time and patience..... communication for Pisces and Libra is known to be an issue..... if you can't communicate forget it.

He is pushing you for something you don't seem to necessarily feel comfortable to give yet, given your concerns. He is not being fair and his attitude to me seems a little manipultive honestly.

Posted by Pisces_Daydreamer
Sorry @libralotus, but I think he is fibbing! A Pisces who doesn't want to invest more feelings.... we can't help ourselves!!! We will do that without thinking of ourselves..... we love to love. Anyone knows you cannot force commitment, even as Pisces I know good relationships take time and patience..... communication for Pisces and Libra is known to be an issue..... if you can't communicate forget it.

He is pushing you for something you don't seem to feel comfortable to give yet, given your concerns. He is not being fair and his attitude to me seems a little manipultive honestly.

He's very intense. He's even gone as far as telling me he loves me already. I'm treated like a princess and usually we communicate well but he's obtuse. It gets annoying having to constantly repeat my feelings or thoughts as if I haven't said it a thousands times.

I try to tell him you can't rush a relationship and be controlling as well. I dont think I mentioned that he's always over my shoulder to read my texts. It does seem like manipulation and it's sort of like he's giving me an ultimatum.

There are moments where I feel like I found a good guy and want to commit but then I feel the opposite.

It doesn't seem healthy already but I don't know if it's worth trying to make him understand what's acceptable and what's not

Your summary is quite right, we can be intense! But, we mean what we say generally...... however as a Pisces myself I would balk at someone telling me they love me in a relatively new relationship..... still don't know how long you have both known each other.... messaging versus physically etc.... we do feel things deeply but he has to control that urge!!

Sounds to me as though you have been very upfront and calmly rationalised things for him and been very clear. It is an ultimatum indeed..... and that to me is emotional blackmail. If you have discussed things logically and rationally (don't forget Pisces deal with things in the opposite, with emotion and heart first rather than from the Libras head and logic side).... then he needed to take note.

I am not saying he is not genuine in his feelings BUT like you say, you can't have everything at once. Something my Libra kept telling me..... but that also felt like I was being drip fed affection and I did have an issue with it. I was quite happy to go with the flow, but I did feel like I had to hold off from giving too, and that is something a Pisces can really feel down about because we love to give.

Difficult, but sounds as though you have done what you can, and if his behaviour does not change and he cannot learn to relax and slowly melt into a slower pace where it would then feel more organic, then .... again your call, you have a choice.

and yes when we are stressed or our emotions and flying all over the place, we can be very obtuse..... we can be curt, blunt and downright hurtful...... its our defence kicking in

@seraph....

come on, that's harsh to my mind. It is normal to have doubts! However, time will tell..... I don't believe that "he will be for the forseeable future"...... people need to settle, not all people are comfortable at the start of the relationship, you have no idea what their history is. And unless they are made of metal, most of us have been affected by our relationship histories, whether we know it or not, or admit it or not. It can take time, and if @libralotus cares about him enough, if she likes him enough, she will continue with patience. She seems strong enough mentally and emotionally to understand things.

We enter relationships to also help each other, to help each other grow and only time, care and patience works for anything that is worth building for. People these days want results quick, want people who are perfectly formed in every way..... it doesn't happen like that and the older we get, the more guarded and defensive we become. Everyone is damaged in some way, give them a chance!

Posted by seraph

Posted by Pisces_Daydreamer
@seraph....

come on, that's harsh to my mind. It is normal to have doubts! However, time will tell..... I don't believe that "he will be for the forseeable future"...... people need to settle, not all people are comfortable at the start of the relationship, you have no idea what their history is. And unless they are made of metal, most of us have been affected by our relationship histories, whether we know it or not, or admit it or not. It can take time, and if @libralotus cares about him enough, if she likes him enough, she will continue with patience. She seems strong enough mentally and emotionally to understand things.

We enter relationships to also help each other, to help each other grow and only time, care and patience works for anything that is worth building for. People these days want results quick, want people who are perfectly formed in every way..... it doesn't happen like that and the older we get, the more guarded and defensive we become. Everyone is damaged in some way, give them a chance!

I don't disagree with your remarks about patience. And after all, we can't know for sure how this will turn out. But given how libralotus knows herself, her habits, her moods and their different colours, and given how we know just as a matter of course that patience cuts both ways, she needs someone with a deep pool of strength and emotional stability. She'll be the first to admit that she needs patience from the other party as well from time to time. No equanimity on his part = constant focus on who said what and why, second-guessing, even suspicion, and so on.

Assuming she can make room for him, can he make room for her? *Right now* she has the patience to be his mama on some things. Right now. But if he can't come to grips with trusting the unknown (i.e., not knowing her every single move), where will that soft place to fall be for *her*? How many conditions will it come with?

I'm inclined to believe you that all it'll take is a little time. But she might need to put her foot down sometimes, and knowing the territory will help her do it with confidence. From my end it's just a plea to address these issues before they become the norm rather than the exception, rather than enjoining her to just get out (though the strength to do this should always be there.)

click to expand

You are quite right, wise words ??

Posted by jukey
I think it comes down to what you're willing to tolerate and for how long (months, years, or til death do you part). Though the context matters, the idea of anyone 'pushing' anything on me to make themselves feel better is unsettling (all positive qualities aside).

In astro terms, Pisces and Libra can make an inconjunct aspect which points to a 'disconnect' between the two. In my experience, we can explain ourselves til we're blue in the face and it always felt like our ideas went over each other's heads. We're very friendly, but still two different people and just agreed to disagree.

And it is a shame. I believe there are lots of pluses for these two signs, generally wanting a peaceful life without drama and striving to make a good life and caring about those that we love. Unfortunately I think because Libra is more about logic and does not dig too deep, whereas Pisces has a more emotional approach, they clash in this respect UNLESS both are willing to feed off each other 'skill sets'. The Libra I knew helped keep me grounded but he was too 'hidden'...... charming sure but I could tell he was always silently judging and I didn't like that. Be upfront! @libralotus doesn't seem that way though so.... good for her