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MermaidPrincess
@MermaidPrincess
13 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 269 · Topics: 9
I'm almost afraid to ask this question in this forum for fear that everyone will suddenly jump my ass again and throw every insult under the sun at me again. But just out of sheer morbid curiosity, I'm going to ask anyway because I have an honest question and am looking for (serious) answers.

Pisces does text me every once in a great while, but not often. He keeps telling me that he wants me to have fun and do what makes me happy and stop being so needy sometimes. A few days ago he even told me to "stop fighting the current and just go with the flow" in true Pisces fish vocabulary. My question is WHY is he telling me this?? Even if what he says to me is true, why would it even matter to him anymore? He and I are not together anymore and I highly doubt we will ever get together again, so my issues and faults are no longer his concern. Instead of pointing out my faults and telling me what he thinks I should do, shouldn't he be focusing on finding another girl who DOESN'T have the same flaws that I have? I just honestly don't see why he would even care anymore.

And another thing, the last time he texted me about this was this past Saturday while he was off on a camping trip. This really shocked me and one of his other female friends, because he actually texted me during his sacred "Bro Time" while they were camping out in the middle of the woods. Neither of us could even believe he would even have me on his mind during an activity like that. One thing I never dared to do to Pisces was interrupt his Bro Time, because I learned early on that his guy time with his buddies is EXTREMELY important to him. Back when we were together, it wouldn't have been odd at all for him to be thinking about me even while off with his buddies. But now that we are barely even friends, I just found it quite odd and surprising that he would take time to text me about this stuff while he was off having fun. I should have been the very last thing on his mind that weekend. Anyway, these are just some honest questions and curiosities of mine, but I'm fully prepared for the vicious onslaught of name-calling, insulting, and laughter. Go.
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Ormas
@Ormas
13 Years500+ PostsPisces

Comments: 43 · Posts: 565 · Topics: 34
Oh sweetheart you have us all wrong 🙂

Just because us being together didn't work out the first time, doesn't mean we'll turn arctic cold on you.
I'll always care for you in my own way of showing it. To me this is a mental thing for him, he's revisiting the happy feelings he had whilst dating you.

At the same time he's playfully poking and pointing out what went wrong last time. Or what bothered him back when you were together. Since you're not dating anymore he's free to say this without fear of you going berserk on him emotionally. The label of couple has been peeled off so that makes it easy for us. (less pressure)
That's why he's cramming a small list in those texts. Less needy, more fun, let things happen!

It could be so that he wants to hang out with you again for some fun. It could also be that he just wants you to have some fun. I need more info to determine if he's interested in you again, or if this is just a classic 'being nice'.
And then you say he's making time for you during his 'bro time'.

*should I tell her that he still has feelings for her and wants to take things slow again, rekindle something perhaps, see where it goes? All dependent on her response to his poking/teasing/flirting/advice, showing if she has grown into a more wholesome person in his eyes*

He's testing you for sure. He COULD have getting back together on his distant mind, but he could also just want to have some fun mentally. My advice would be to just wait and see what happens. If he continues to text more often than before, keeps on being poking/flirting/teasing/advice giving, we can take it from there. Then you'll -and we - know what's on his mind. Doesn't mean YOU have to agree with having anything to do with him anymore, but in order to text you during 'holy bro time' you have to be firmly on his mind.

I couldn't care less about 99,9% of people when I'm in my retreat mode. Only a handful of people I will reach out to no matter what. Family and my loved ones. After all that is what the 'bro time' or relax time is all about. Ponder what's important to us right then & there. Oh darn, now I have someone in my mind myself.

Feel free to ask for more opinions, glad to help without you having to fear us attacking you.
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yellow01gt
@yellow01gt
18 Years500+ PostsPisces

Comments: 28 · Posts: 921 · Topics: 39
Posted by piscespassion

It would be nice to give more specific details such as why you two broke up, how long has it been
since the break up, who initiated it, and how long you two were together?




that's what i was thinking, as well...can you provide some more details please? pisces men are vague enough, lol i've been sitting here for probably 20 minutes trying to put some type of helpful advice together for you, which is usually very easy for me, and i've ended up going in about 100 different directions that all lead back to frustration and uncertainty....lol

so i guess i have to go all aggro on you now, since that's what you seem to be expecting lol...cause pisces men are known for their aggression, ya know? (and my mars is in pisces too, so you're really in trouble!) 😛

--Jack



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MermaidPrincess
@MermaidPrincess
13 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 269 · Topics: 9
See that's another thing that is confusing me, Elusive. He has told me that he still likes me (whether he means that in a romantic way or just as a friend, I do not know). But sometimes his behavior contradicts what he says. For instance, he keeps deleting me from all of his Facebook and other online stuff and at one point he told me he didn't want to talk to me anymore and that he "was sorry it turned out like this". That is stuff you do and say to someone you no longer wish to have anything to do with, not someone you still care about as a friend. Anyway, the reason he texted me last weekend during his "bro time" camping trip is because the day before that I had told him that if he was gonna keep deleting everything of mine and trying to erase me from his life, then that was fine with me and Good Riddance. I told him I wasn't trying to coax him to come back to me but that I was just hurt that he would try to erase every trace of me from his life & memory as if I was nothing. I have nothing against the guy and I have always wanted us to remain friends because we did not have a bad relationship at all. He didn't respond to me telling him good riddance until the following day during his camping trip when he finally texted me back and said he wasn't trying to erase me from his life and that he wants me to just be less needy and stop fighting the current and go with the flow. (Perfect Pisces fish phrase!). And as I said before, his female friend Sierra and I could not believe that he would choose to respond to me during his sacred "Bro Time". That is one thing I never did to Pisces...try to talk to him when he was out with his buddies. Because I quickly learned early on that when he's in his "man cave" or spending quality time with his best buds, females are OFF-LIMITS. So I never fought that issue. Sierra told me "If he texted you today, that means a lot because we were all at Gennie Springs and he's camping there overnight." So I just think it's very weird and confusing that one minute he is deleting all my stuff and telling me he doesn't want to talk to me, and the next minute he is talking to me during Bro-Time and telling me he just wants me to relax and go with the flow. Those are two very contradictory actions/statements coming from him and it's all confusing me.
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MermaidPrincess
@MermaidPrincess
13 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 269 · Topics: 9
He's still not ready to come to me yet, because he only responds to me if I say something to him first...and it has to be something that sparks a response from him. And I try not to speak to him too often because he still wants his space. So most of the time, there is no interaction between us at all. I texted him yesterday to tell him I finally passed my insurance license exam on the 2nd try, and he didn't respond to that at all. Even though it was a positive, happy occasion text, doesn't care to respond unless I'm upset about something. So no, he's still not done having his space yet.

His female friend Sierra tells me he has been spending a lot of time everyday by himself. She says he gets up every morning and goes for a really long bike ride. And he spends a lot of time spray painting and working on art projects. So he's clearly deep in thought about SOMETHING. She also tells me that, as far as she knows, there have been no other women around him at all. No booty calls, no one-night-stand hook-ups after the clubs, no walks of shame home in the mornings, nothing. I find that very odd too, because there is no reason for a hot, flirty, single guy like him not to have fun with the ladies while he's away from home being free. Either he is so lost in thought about something that he's too focused to even think about other girls, or else maybe he's not quite ready to move on to a new girl or even sleep with one yet. Hmmmm.....
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MermaidPrincess
@MermaidPrincess
13 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 269 · Topics: 9
Now that I am learning more about what is going on with him, I would be willing to reconcile if he wanted to. But I don't believe he wants to yet and I'm not going to push for it. I'm just gonna treat him like a normal friend if he will let me. Haha yes, he gave me the "I don't want to talk to you anymore" line as well as the classic "I am not the type of man who will ever get married and I don't even enjoy having steady girlfriends." LOL! I've learned to let that kind of talk roll off my back because its usually just a reaction from them and not an honest statement about themselves or what they really want in life.
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Ormas
@Ormas
13 Years500+ PostsPisces

Comments: 43 · Posts: 565 · Topics: 34
Posted by 88PISCIS
Posted by MermaidPrincess

His female friend Sierra tells me he has been spending a lot of time everyday by himself. She says he gets up every morning and goes for a really long bike ride. And he spends a lot of time spray painting and working on art projects. So he's clearly deep in thought about SOMETHING. She also tells me that, as far as she knows, there have been no other women around him at all. No booty calls, no one-night-stand hook-ups after the clubs, no walks of shame home in the mornings, nothing. I find that very odd too, because there is no reason for a hot, flirty, single guy like him not to have fun with the ladies while he's away from home being free. Either he is so lost in thought about something that he's too focused to even think about other girls, or else maybe he's not quite ready to move on to a new girl or even sleep with one yet. Hmmmm.....




Mermaid, geez you see ^^^^^^^^^^^ you know every single move he is making. that is a no no.
please stop asking his friends about every move he makes. He knows this and you by doing this are pushing him away.
can you STOP doing this like right now??

Stop talking to his friend, like if you had disappeared from the planet? that is the only way he will see a positive change in you.

He has not moved one because he is enjoying his alone time, & if he moves on. please let him go.
click to expand




Stop that! It's creepy and we all know -he does too- what you're trying to do.
Needy is not sexy and this is just stalker-like behavior.
'oh she's checking up on me again through family/friends, still needy like before.. thankfully I'm not dating her'.

Is that what you were going for? Then keep it up 🙂
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MermaidPrincess
@MermaidPrincess
13 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 269 · Topics: 9
I'm not questioning his friend about what he's doing. She volunteers this information to me whenever I am feeling down or confused. It is just between me and her, she does not divulge to him that we talk about this. She is hoping that someday he and I will reconcile because she has known him since they were kids and she says she knows I would be good to him. So no, trust me, I do not ask his friends about him because I KNOW they would tell him about it. This girl is just observing everything and she tells me things when she thinks I should know about it. That's all.

And to answer Ellesque's question, no I never said he was lying. But it IS a common reaction for men to sometimes go overboard and give the whole "I'm a free man who will never get married or have a girlfriend" speech whenever they feel threatened by a woman. It's just a knee-jerk reaction they have when they are trying to reassert their freedom and independence. I've read about it. After awhile, they forget they even said it.
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MermaidPrincess
@MermaidPrincess
13 Years

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Trust me 88, this is private girl talk. She does not divulge to him that we have been talking about him and I don't think she is watching him in a creepy way...more like she's just telling me what she sees when she's there. Her boyfriend is Pisces' roommate right now, and we began talking because we were kind of in the same boat. Her bf is far away up there and she misses him and has moments of fear and doubt about what he does up there. So we've been kind of like a support system for one another. Her bf is a friend of mine as well.
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MermaidPrincess
@MermaidPrincess
13 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 269 · Topics: 9
Elusive, I'm trying to use this time apart...this "space" to work on myself and make a few major adjustments to living in a whole different part of the country now. Everything about south Florida is sooooo different from the rural Midwest and I definitely stick out down here in terms of my attitude and way of looking at things. People here in south FL are VERY laid-back, whereas people where I'm from seem to thrive on drama and pettiness. I recently opened up to Pisces and told him about this...how I need to make some big mental adjustments in order to function down here. I told him that one of these days I will indeed learn to "chill out and go with the flow" but that it's gonna take awhile. I just asked him to understand and be supportive of my efforts. Maybe by the time he returns home in 2 months I will have successfully completed some noticeable changes.
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MermaidPrincess
@MermaidPrincess
13 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 269 · Topics: 9
PP, I said the same thing to Pisces--it would seem that "going with the flow" would be such a simple thing to do. But alas, it is not...especially for me. And it doesn't have to do with just my Scorpio sign either, it has a lot to do with the way I was raised. For one thing, being in control of everything around me is how I survive. It's how I got to where I am today. If I'm not in control, I'm as good as lost and dead. I'm also fighting against 3 decades of socialization in a rural Midwest area that had taught me since Day 1 that having a man at my side 24/7 and having every day of my life be a fairytale love story is the most important thing in life and the end all-be all of my female existence. We girls are raised to believe that becoming a beautiful bride and a stay-at-home wife & mommy is the culmination of our lives. If Pisces thinks I'm being needy & too attached, then boy he needs to take a look at the women where I'm from, because it would literally shock the Hell out of him!! You would not BELIEVE how needy & clingy the women are where I'm from...to them, being in a relationship is EVERYTHING and they worship the title of girlfriend & wife. Where I'm from, women began publicly gushing about how much they "love" their new boyfriends after only a few DAYS of dating. Within just a few WEEKS they are already pestering the poor guys for engagement rings. Couples usually get married after about a month or two of dating, and then they immediately start pumping out the babies. The men are reduced to objects used for bragging rights by the women. I can't tell you how many times I've been told "At least I HAVE a man unlike you!! No one will EVER love you!!" "You don't even have a boyfriend so there's obviously something wrong with you." There was even one girl who CHANGED HER LAST NAME to her boyfriend's last name as if they were married on all of her online profiles. When they broke up several months later, she changed it back to her own name. These crazy women act like pre-teens in puppy love, not grown-up adult women!! There are strict rules about what a couple must do in order to truly "be a couple", and most of it involves being attached at the hip 24/7. Whenever I was dating someone, I had to deal with other women questioning my relationships just because we weren't all lovey-dovey with each other from the first day of dating. It's absolutely ridiculous and I am SO GLAD to be away from that bullshit. But that 3 decades of indoctrination is still in t
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TaurusBadGirl
@TaurusBadGirl
13 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 74 · Posts: 722 · Topics: 20
I have a question..you say he only responds to your texts..meaning he doesn't initiate any conversations with you...what did you text him that he responded saying you needed to stop being so needy? I myself think you need to stop texting him so much...I think you are in denial hun...I'm not sure who broke up with who but I'm guessing it was him..I think you are making more out of this than what it really is....I think he wants you to move on...

I believe he is done..I'm sorry because I know that's the last think you want to hear but you need to hear it.. but it might not be a bad thing. Maybe if he sees that you move on and that you are not texting him about every little thing that happens in your life you might still have a chance with him..Some men don't like needy clingy women, they like strong independent women...I don't know how you used to be when he first met you, but maybe you were stronger and not as needy...try and focus on that and ofocurse do it for yourself not for him..and while you are doing this he might notice and if not you would have moved on and gotten him out of your heart and mind. Becoming stronger is not just so you can overcome the pain of losing this guy its also to make you stronger for other relationships to come.

We need to be ready for everything that comes our way and for that my dear you must be strong. Do not call or text him anymore..by you calling or texting will not make him come to you or like you more, it wont make him change his mind about you.It might make him think that you are even more needy and immature than he thought you were. Stay strong delete his number and don't go on his FB that will only make you sad. And if he does call you don't keep him on the phone for long, don't give him the chance to be the one to say he has to go.. be very brief about whatever he asks and then just say "hey I gtta go I have something to do" don't give explanations just be brief and short. Or you can just not answer at all and wait till he calls again...and if he texts don't answer back right away..text him back the next day and just say you have been busy...nothing more. Don't give him any info at all. Make him wonder make him see that you have a life and that its ok if he in not in it. Even if you are home all day crying your eyes out. Of course all this will only work if he has feelings for you..if not he will still think that you have moved on perfectly well without him... you will know by his reaction.

Good Luck🙂

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MermaidPrincess
@MermaidPrincess
13 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 269 · Topics: 9
Well Taurus, I thought the same thing too, I thought he was done with me. That's why I don't understand why he keeps telling me to "relax and go with the flow". We're not together anymore, so there really isn't anything to "go with the flow" with. If he and I are just friends or acquaintances or whatever now, then there shouldn't be any issue about us speaking to each other every once in awhile or "needing space". Sometimes it sounds like he talks like we're still together and I know we're not.
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LoveSeeker
@LoveSeeker
13 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 214 · Posts: 1468 · Topics: 21
Posted by MermaidPrincess
See that's another thing that is confusing me, Elusive. He has told me that he still likes me (whether he means that in a romantic way or just as a friend, I do not know). But sometimes his behavior contradicts what he says. For instance, he keeps deleting me from all of his Facebook and other online stuff and at one point he told me he didn't want to talk to me anymore and that he "was sorry it turned out like this". That is stuff you do and say to someone you no longer wish to have anything to do with, not someone you still care about as a friend. Anyway, the reason he texted me last weekend during his "bro time" camping trip is because the day before that I had told him that if he was gonna keep deleting everything of mine and trying to erase me from his life, then that was fine with me and Good Riddance. I told him I wasn't trying to coax him to come back to me but that I was just hurt that he would try to erase every trace of me from his life & memory as if I was nothing. I have nothing against the guy and I have always wanted us to remain friends because we did not have a bad relationship at all. He didn't respond to me telling him good riddance until the following day during his camping trip when he finally texted me back and said he wasn't trying to erase me from his life and that he wants me to just be less needy and stop fighting the current and go with the flow. (Perfect Pisces fish phrase!). And as I said before, his female friend Sierra and I could not believe that he would choose to respond to me during his sacred "Bro Time". That is one thing I never did to Pisces...try to talk to him when he was out with his buddies. Because I quickly learned early on that when he's in his "man cave" or spending quality time with his best buds, females are OFF-LIMITS. So I never fought that issue. Sierra told me "If he texted you today, that means a lot because we were all at Gennie Springs and he's camping there overnight." So I just think it's very weird and confusing that one minute he is deleting all my stuff and telling me he doesn't want to talk to me, and the next minute he is talking to me during Bro-Time and telling me he just wants me to relax and go with the flow. Those are two very contradictory actions/statements coming from him and it's all confusing me.

I see you caring about his feelings LOL that mermaid princess is still in love..also
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MermaidPrincess
@MermaidPrincess
13 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 269 · Topics: 9
And here's something else I've noticed lately that is really weird: He has begun to delete any photos of himself posing with other women on FB and if a girl posts on his wall asking him to come party or hang out, he deletes it. The other night, one of his buds posted a photo of the two of them posing with two party girls out on the town somewhere and tagged him in it. I wasn't sure when or where it was taken at, but I posted a comment on it that said "If you two boys are in town this weekend, you guys should come see my new place." The next day the photo was gone, his friend had deleted it! And last weekend when he went on his "bro-time" camping trip, I saw that one of his female friends posted something about it on his wall telling him that he could come up and visit her and someone else. I wasn't bothered by that at all, because I already know this girl is just a friend of his. But he deleted her comment! I'm not sure if he is trying to hide what he does or if he is trying not to give off the impression that he is messing around with a bunch of girls. Since we are not together anymore, it shouldn't matter to him if that would bother me or not since he no longer has to answer to me or consider my feelings about anything. He has no reason to hide anything if he IS running around screwing a bunch of women, because he's not exclusive with me anymore. I don't know, I just think it's very odd that he is suddenly trying to give off the impression that he isn't around any other women...that's not something I've ever seen before.
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Nefer
@Nefer
16 Years1,000+ PostsPisces

Comments: 5 · Posts: 4081 · Topics: 4
*sigh* I myself don't particularly ever want to get married again. But it's not JUST for women wanting to get married, you know.. it's for women wanting to have a loving, committed relationship with a man, esp if she's wondering why her relationships seem to always fizzle out, or not even really get off the ground, or suddenly implode.. and she's getting fed up with it.

I happen to have a copy of the book, and I'm offering it to you.