Rejection

This is something that I don't understand as to why it's so hard to handle. I've heard men in here, and in real life, talk about a "fear" on some level, when it comes to asking a woman out because he might get rejected. In fact, I know several men who were really, really into a woman .. but, remained silent because of this fear factor .. and, I'm not sure why this is.

Aren't we rejected ALL THE TIME in our life?

Our parents told us no, more than yes
Doesn't the average person go through job interview after another before accepted
Loans and credit turn-downs
In school .. we're always at risk for failing something, if not paying attention
Friends turn us down sometimes, to go and do stuff

Haven't we as humans been facing rejection all our lives?

Why is this particular rejection so hard for guys?

It's because job interviews or getting a loan don't have anything to do with emotions... im guessing

Fear of rejection usually comes from believing that you do not deserve the best or what you feel that you desire. Of course, these feelings stem from our past experiences - erase them! 😉

Mornin' Sweet P! how ya doin'?

Same here lovely P! enjoying a wonderful, simple, relaxing Sunday - kinda overcast today - Listening to Jack Canfield at the moment. Awesome speaker 😉

How are you and Mr. Aqua these days?

Same here lovely P! enjoying a wonderful, simple, relaxing Sunday - kinda overcast today - Listening to Jack Canfield at the moment. Awesome speaker 😉

How are you and Mr. Aqua these days?

Attention everyone!

The World is plotting to do us GOOD!

I reject guys all the time...

I figured they wouldnt care and they'd probably be used to it by now....since they are usually the ones who approach/initiate first.

I agree with DC.
Its seems they'd care if they REALLY liked you or not.
But if there intentions are to only maybe take you out or get laid...they shouldnt care so much.

Solitas...how smug of you...that last line makes you seem.

yep, get what you are saying S - however, each one of us is responsible for ourselves and our lives. Thinking "what did I do wrong, what is wrong with me?" is a belief that we were taught while growing up and have decided to attach to that belief. When one becomes AWARE that this belief no longer serves the person, they will change their belief to, "I am perfect just the way I am." and will not take anything personally that another does and therefore, will not feel rejected.

Everyone has excellent ideas .. for me .. I think archer was the closest.

I think it's all about masculinity/sexuality .. when a guy wants a woman, he wants her physically and when he asks her out .. he's hoping to get lucky.

If she turns him down .. then he faces another lonely night. Seriously, I don't think it's feelings at all .. we've been programmed throughout our life to accept the things we cannot have without being "afraid" .. fear? That's pretty absurd, really.

Yet, it exists within the man if a woman turns him down .. perhaps, this fear stems from an unconscious level and that's why it's unexplainably silly .. our most rudimentary instinct is to procreate .. so eventhough a man may THINK he's attracted to a woman for other reasons, such as personality, or looks .. really, it's just pharamones that attracts him to her, to procreate .. and he has no awareness of this, he thinks it's his choice .. so, since it's instinct and he gets rejected .. this would certainly cause a "fear" in him that is unexplainable.

Just my thoughts ..

You are speaking of initial outlook...before you get to know the person P-Angel. i.e. asking a random woman out...

Where as what if you've known the person for awhile...your not only thinking of the physical ATM.

He is an Aries notos...

granted he may be more evolved than most Aries men I know...

Self-esteem IS important for us to have a healthy and happy life .. Solitas answer didn't seem odd to me.

Self-esteem is important. His answer wasnt odd at all...but yet still came off as smug/conceited.

Didn't sound that way to me .. you mean the part about where he feels bad for rejecting a woman because he knows from first hand experience that it makes the person feel bad about herself?

Emapthy is a bad trait?

LOL

its sounds smug because he feels as though his rejection is soooo great it will spiral the woman into dismal depression and self hate...

btw, it wasnt meant as insult, just a funny observation on the way his words seem to read. I know what he meant.

"That's why I feel bad when women make passes at me and I turn them down because it hurts their self-esteem. They ask themselves,"what is wrong with me, why didn't he want to date me?"


—?? .. I hear no greatness in here, only honesty .. if a woman asked a man out and he turned her down, she would indeed take it personally, no?

Oh, well .. doesn't matter, for me .. I think it's admirable that a man would be concerned for a woman's feelings.

Chocolate milk for everyone?

Has anyone ever met someone in person to whom they just absolutely LOVED online .. only to find out that once you saw them .. you were repelled? Or, visa-versa .. someone you really didn't care for .. you meet and there's an instant attraction?

If, so .. what do you make of that?

I think I'm gonna put that up on the relationships board and see how many people have experienced something like this.

Interestingly .. responders where Fire, Earth & Water and each them viewed this differently.

Earth was looking at this logically .. a fear and how can this fear be overcome or have some benefit

Fire says it's all about ego & masculinity .. pride is too much to sacrifice

Water is all about feelings .. rejection would make them hurt their tender feelings.


Of course, there's some variations .. but, this is how it appears to me.