I let him go

I let my little bull go. i know if im the only piscean like this but im so passive all the time that one day, someone can do something so small, and i just go into full force. i broke up with the little bull last night through anger but i told him this morning that it's best if we just stay apart.

you all know i talk about my ex scorp. he really messed me up. and i dont want to treat my bull the way the scorp treated me cause my bull is a sweetheart and i dont deserve him. i think its better to let him go find happiness elsewhere than to hurt him.

do you think i did a bad thing?

im over the scorp. i just remember everything that happened and it was scarring to me. i think it made me a little insecure and made me afraid to take risks. i spend all my time trying to prevent another relationship like that from happening ever again. and in doing that, i think im kind of cold and seemingly nonchalant. its not that i dont care. i care a whole bunch of alot but the bull can't seem to see that. so if im treating him this way and he's hurting, how could i possibly deserve to be with someone as sweet as him?

i hate how i react to things when im angry. it sucks.

i dont think its the scorp himself. im so glad he's gone that i could breakdance all over my floor. that was like a year and a half ago and im like super over him. i just remember the things he did and how i felt like such a fool for sticking around. you know how we are when people are cruel to us. it kind of sticks, ya know? cause we dont understand cruelty at all, especially when we are being good to someone. i think maybe i dont deserve him because i hurt his feelings and someone who cares about you shouldnt hurt your feelings. ya know? and he deserves to be happy. and he isnt very happy at the moment

damn it this bull. now he is super apologizing trying to get me to take him back. you see? now why is he apologizing to me when i was the one mean to him even though he did something to make me be mean, thats not the point! im a big ball of "I dont know!"

*im in a glass case of emotion* you guys remember that line? i forget what movie that was from hahahahaha just a little humor

"wht is with you pisces people"

Hey, arch ..

Though there's complete "awareness" of all our conscious states, because it's not just ONE, like everyone else .. focus, maintenance & consideration makes it so we don't have the strength to put as much attention on just the material.

It makes no sense to you because you have just one. It's like, if you had two duties to do at one time, and both were demanding that you tend equally .. neither of them would get amount that could be given IF there were only one.

Because of this .. we are passive, submissive of sorts .. when we say, "not deserving", we don't mean that we aren't worthy of ourselves for who we are and that the other person is better than us in any way .. we mean, because we can't give the same amount of strength to exist solely as a material being and will fall short of their expectations, because the other person will expect practicality & sensibility at the same level as them .. that's not possible of the Pisces .. we feel discarnated and so processing sentience is on a different level from others, non-Pisceans.

She may have said not deserving, but, what she meant was .. too different for him to accept .. and because people who solely function in this existence, makes assessments and measurements, such as you have done .. it doesn't make sense because it's not practical enough .. we have no choice except to live our physical bodies in this world, so if another person measures us according to thier standards of what's sensible .. then we won't be good enough for their measurement. If people didn't measure, then it wouldn't be so.

P-Angel, I just love you! thats it in a nut shell right there! you rock!

i suppose you are right. well thank you kindly for listening to me you guys.

It was just an arguement, Lil .. or whatever it was that sent you into overload. You care about him a lot .. it's evident in the things you say about him.

Certainly, I know what you mean about cruelty lingering .. my first husband used to beat the holy living crap out of me on a daily basis to vent out his frustrations in life .. though I divorced him in 1979, I still "feel" the vibrations that injured my psyche .. soul searching is a pretty good idea, like SF said .. for what happened to you by the hands, or words of the Scorpio will NEVER go away, so the only recourse is to put it in perspective.

That was him .. not your little Bull. I feel for you, I know it's hard because you can still sense it, almost like the abuse created an energy force that follows you.

I hope you figure this out because you're a really sweet lady, anybody would be blessed to have you in their life.

I'm twenty four. Im not an immature twenty four though. I work, im trying to finish school. trying to buy a house. for the most part, i can usually see what im doing and get it poppin' lol but things seem nuts. i'll explain.

my relationship with the scorp was emotionally abusive and towards the end, physically. so yes, i remember it and i think about it and i want to stay as far away from it as possible. but it doesnt hinder me from everyday life. you know how we are. if it isnt directly threatening us, we can pretty much get on well enough. i met the bull like a year or so later. i was back to myself at that time. i told the scorp to piss off (who proceeded to start cutting his arm up in attempts to get me back after we broke up, silly man), and i was having a good life.

when i met the bull, it seemed right. just like i was meant to meet him. in fact i couldnt stop looking at him because he seemed so familiar. And we were instantly cool. we would hang out and it would be like hanging with an old friend i had known for years.

so when he asked me to be his girl later on, i was skeptical. you know, i didnt want a repeat of my last relationship but he was so warm and loving and attentive and he said he would never hurt me. and when i thought about it, i said, dont i deserve to be happy just like everyone else? so i went for it.

and it was great! i love him. and he is so sweet to me. but my temper you see... its bad. im so passive, and i let everything that pisses me off just go. i brush it off my shoulders like its nothing and continue on living, but sometimes its just that one little thing that pisses me off and i go into overdrive. and I HATE it. i hurt his feelings, because he hurt mine. thats why i say, i dont know if i can be what he needs.

he expects me to think rationally and logically and look at the facts, and thats just not how i think. im guided by how i feel. my intuition helps me make decisions. and i cant help being that way. i tried ultra super hard to change that about myself when i was with the scorp because he hated it and i wanted to be pleasing, but i cant. i am who i am. and thats all i know how to be. and i like myself. idont think im bad. i help people when they need it. but i dont want to be responsible for making someone else unhappy because i dont live up to their expectations. and i dont want to hurt him out of resentment that i won't live up to his expectations. does that make sense?

"for we can'nt read your minds and you dont really "talk" to us"


hehehehe, I know .. that's bad.

It's just hard for us to grasp that other people CANNOT pick up on our transmissions that's sent .. sometimes we need to learn that erosterical communication will confuse people. That's our fault.

What your Dr. was saying is that he isn't good enough for your standards of him, not the other way around. He's not saying that HE thinks he's not good enough for you. He's saying that YOU don't percieve him as good enough and being a Pisces he can pick up on those vibes .. but, instead of putting it on you, saying your being judgemental of him unbeknownst to yourself .. he'll say it in a way that you will understand.

To us .. all you non-Pisces people ... are living in an unconscious state of your real existence .. it makes communication very difficult because we forget sometimes that you can't hear the unspoken.

It's hard to explain, archer .. I wasn't saying that you were judgeing him in your fully lucid state of mind .. it's in the subconscious. If a Pisces picks up on that, which we usually do after some time, we'll bail out. It's just easier than trying to get someone to comprehend that we are aware of your emotions without you ever uttering a word .. to explain it would be nearly impossible, so instead, we'll just say what you can understand ..

yeah... i guess thats what i mean when i say he doesnt take the hint. to me it just seems so common sense not to do certain things. doesnt he know me well enough to know how i would react? but no... i guess he cant... because he cant sense what im thinking. he's not in the other realm with me and his thoughts arent personified like mine... oh silly me. im messing up.

You're right, archer .. we tend to operate within the unspoken, but here to function in a world where most of the people HAVE to have to have communication articulated. We have to accept partial responsibility for not being understood.

It seems so natural to us .. it's like being in a foriegn country to us .. we want to speak our own language because that is native to us.

"There are a lot but I don't care to elaborate on them for if we must be hated then we must at least be feared as well."


Solitas said this on another board, talking about something different .. but, it hit home with me to include many different emotions. Like with the Lil's ex-Scorp, and my ex-husband .. they feared what they didn't understand.

Oh, I wasn't meaning to sound like it was a thorn in my side, rather, just expressing to Lil how I understand that the injury her ex caused is still painful in her psyche.

Thanks though .. that was ages ago and the guy was a complete ass once we got married. Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde .. my fault though because I should have picked up on it. Probably did .. just blinded by the love-bug.

Anchorman is 'da movie 🙂

But in all seriousness, what do you feel you need to do? Do you love him? Does he love you?

And is all that bickering and difference of opinion worth it in the end?

Sometimes we get so caught in the he said she said. Realize it's not always about winning or proving your point to the other person. Sometimes it's about laying down your own goals or objectives and trying to understand theirs better. Yes, sometimes this means adapting yourself to suit their needs.

What are relationships? Fundamentally they're changing who we are to suit who they are.

Good luck.

I guess I'm just completely arrogant, then, because to me .. I usually see things the other way around .. the other person doesn't deserve me.

How pathetic .. that's just not right .. there's no fool, like an old fool, I guess.

Probably the Venus in Aries, lol

It seems that we pay so much attention to the sun, when really we "feel" in relationships according to another planet ..

he's begging me not to do this... i dont really want to either. maybe i should give it another try and just try extra hard to control my little temper.

Yeah I'm pretty passive myself - which is probably why I've had Pieceans attracted to me in the past - but I have to agree that it's hard to be a passive person and deal with an aggressive person - I mean I've been in that boat before - it's not easy at all trying to live with someone that's esp. hard to please because they have such high demands in so many different factors - which is probably why I tend to stray from aggressive people in general despite their sign - but I'll definately agree with lilmermaid - sometimes it's just best for both people to just go their own ways rather than deal with each other in their everyday lives

I agree with that too. However, I find it very difficult within myself to just swim away from someone without closure. People hurt when their heart is involved and when the other person is cyring and distraught .. that tears into the soul of the Pisces, especially when you know that you were a participant in this injury.

It's heart-wrenching, at times. The resolve to push forward to do what is best is present .. yet, the sympathetic side kicks in and makes you feel like you want to crumble for them.

LilM .. he'll survive, if you feel that what's in your best interest is to move on. Rejection isn't easy .. he's in pain. PP is right .. don't go back because of pity. We Fish tend to do that because it hurts us that we hurt them .. try to find a way to soothe his sorrow without stepping down from your principals. That's easier said than done.

but thats just it. it isnt pity. i love him. i really do. and we're great together and we have no problems. i just know me. i know my temper. he keeps telling me, dont worry about it, let him worry about that. that he can deal with it, that he just wants us to be together. well i wanna be together too. i just dont know if its smart. i guess im gonna have to just pick one.

i know that i will probably decide to give it another chance. i mean after all, i may not be as bad as i think i am. i just hope that its a good choice and that he won't regret it later. ive tried to explain all my flaws to him. my "all over the place" attitude and personality and my tendency to "disappear" into my world. he thinks he can handle it. maybe i shouldnt doubt him...

thank you. and no he didnt tell me his flaws. but then, he didnt have to. i had him figured out within like two minutes of meeting him. it was like i could see his emotions and thoughts or something, so we instantly had this understanding. i had an understanding with his subconscious, if that makes sense. and he's been trying to figure out every since how i always know how he's feeling blah blah blah.

we are a strange sign

yeah we can see through people archer, but i guess we forget that people cant see through us. we look oblivious to the outside world to them. dreamy and irresponsible and full of abstract thoughts. and yet we really think that they can connect with us. im guilty of this.

i always fail to understand how is it that my bull cant connect with how im feeling by just looking at me when i can do so with him... im a silly girl. and its my own fault.

Prettypisces, Thank you for the hug, you're the best!

Lil, you do what you need to do .. if you love him, go get him back.

Definitely have someone sized up within seconds.

Yeah, LadyBug .. all the time. You just "know" .. one time we had a party and this guy showed up .. I just freaked out and told my husband I wanted him out of my house, yet, the guy didn't DO anything .. he was just a friend of a friend and seemed nice enough. Later, we found out that he just got let out of prison for armed-robbery.

Don't know how I knew to get him out of my home .. but, I did.

Water with water is good. i mean it can be really intense. but im finding that i balance really well with air and earth.

i like my intuition too. everyone thinks its bullshit that i have it. but its okay. i find it helps me out alot.