Should I go ahead and dump him or stick around?

I've been seeing a Pisces guy for 6 months now. (I'm a Scorpio) ??We met back in early March through a mutual friend on the final night of a trip I took to Florida. We seemed to instantly click that first night we met and he kept trying to kiss me. He was sad to see me leave, but I told him I would be returning in 5 months to stay forever. ??We stayed in touch through Facebook, and a few weeks after meeting me he got my phone number from someone and began texting me. So throughout the next 5 months while we were 1,200 miles apart, he kept in constant contact with me. At one point, he took a two month road trip with his buddies all around the country, and he stopped in my town to see me and meet my family!! He and his friends stayed overnight at my house and my family took good care of them.

I finally moved to Florida two weeks ago, and things seemed to be going OK. We've hung out together a few times and I've met his father. One morning as I was leaving his house, he kissed me goodbye and said "I love you." I was really shocked!!

He and I are both really stressed out right now, though. I'm having a hard time adjusting to this huge move and I've had several big bumps in my path since I moved here. He's unhappy about living at home with his Dad and he wants out. He plans to join the Coast Guard someday now that he has his Bachelor's degree, but right now he seems to be lost like he doesn't know what he wants to do. We also had a disagreement last week when I revealed to him that I hadn't been 100% honest with him about my sex life. When he came to Illinois to see me, he had asked me how long it had been since I'd slept with anyone else. I had actually hooked-up with someone not long after I first met him, but out of embarrassment I told him it had been a year since I'd gotten laid. When I finally came clean about it, he was upset with me for lying to him. Then he got distant and told me he "needs time to think".

A few days after our disagreement, he invited me over to his house. Neither of us mentioned our argument, and he acted like he was completely over it. Then he told me he was moving 4 hours away to Gainesville in a few days to live with one of our mutual friends who is attending college at U of F. He says he will live there until December and then come back home. Of course I was crushed about this, because I will miss him terribly. He moved up there yesterday, and they are living right across the street from Sorority Row. Great!

The other day I went to his house and asked for my personal belongings back. I told him that if he wanted to call it quits with me and just be friends from now on then I would be OK with that...no sense in trying to force him to stay with me if he doesn't want to. He was angry about it and I didn't understand why. I assumed he wanted to break up with me since he was moving away and wanted time to think, so taking back my intimate belongings seemed like the right thing for me to do. He responded by saying "I didn't say I didn't want to be with you anymore. But I'm a vagabond who is always moving around. I just need time to think and you just need to stop creating drama and chill out and go with the flow. I will be back in December." Well I've been thinking too, and I know what's going to happen--He'll be surrounded by wild and horny college girls who will be willing to do whatever he wants, and I doubt he'll be doing much "thinking" about us with all that excitement going on. It won't be long before he hooks up with some loose sorority girl and falls in love with her...then he will totally forget all about me. And if he thinks I'm "creating drama" by asking for my belongings back and telling him I'm prepared for us to end this and go on as just friends, then he's in for a BIG shock when one of these young college girls becomes infatuated with him and starts creating drama by clinging to him!

It just seems to me that he doesn't know what direction he wants to go in his life right now, and so he is clinging to his freedom by moving up to U of F with his friend and trying to re-live his college days. I don't care how many times he tells me to "chill out and go with the flow", I cannot sit here and twiddle my thumbs waiting for him to reach a decision about us and eventually come back in a few months while he parties his ass off up there and bangs every girl he sees. He is normally monogamous and very loyal to his women, but if we're on a break right now and he's up there with all those girls, you know he'll be having lots of casual sex. I have too much dignity to wait around for him while he lives it up. So should I go ahead and "create more drama" by telling him I want to go ahead and end this now or should I listen to him and just "chill out"?? I could be out meeting new people and finding a man who KNOWS me wants to be with me and knows what he wants out of life instead of waiting for this Pisces boy to grow up. I've got an email all ready to send to him

Correction-- he will be back in 3 months in December. We've been communicating for 6 months. And I truly do not want to be "up in his face" about this. What I feel I should do is just simply tell him that I'm not happy with this situation and that we should end it and just be friends instead of halfway hanging onto each other while messing around with other people. I have already told him that no matter what happens we will always be friends. He's a good person and I can't see myself ever viewing him as an enemy. I've already decided to begin seeing other people while he's away because it would be too painful to sit around waiting for him to come back while he's out banging one girl after another.

Sorry. I guess I am assuming he's going to be hitting up the sorority girls hot and heavy because 1) He keeps mentioning to people that he lives across the street from them. 2) He has a HIGH sex drive and I won't be around him for 3 months. And 3) I'm speaking from past experience. When a guy is taking a break from his woman and you set a buffet of easy available women in front of him, he's gonna help himself to it.

One of the personal items I asked to have back from him was a pair of my underwear. He was mad at me for wanting it back. I was genuinely confused because I thought "Why? You'll have plenty of girls now who will want to give you their panties...you don't need mine!" Maybe I'm just so jaded and skeptical that it has completely warped my thinking. :-/

That's not true at all. If I knew without a doubt that he wouldn't be screwing anyone else while he's away, I would absolutely wait for him and not see other people. But it's better to protect my heart and be safe than sorry.

What I'm trying to ask is should I kindly tell him I want to end this and remain friends with him or should I say nothing and wait it out? He never said that he wanted to call it quits with me, and in fact he told me the other day that he DOESN'T want to end this yet, but it sounds to me like he just wants to keep me on the back burner as an option to come back to after he's had his 3 months of college fantasy fun. I don't want that at all. And besides, who's to say he won't develop an attraction to one of these college girls and suddenly fall head over heels for her? (I sometimes wonder if that would be possible considering he is at this huge crossroads in his life...if he can't make up his mind about being with me while his life is in limbo right now, then why would be want to commit to any other woman either?) Most likely, he will mess around with a few girls and I'm sure one or two of them might develop an infatuation with him and begin to smother him and he will remedy the problem by leaving and coming back home in December. With him being a freedom-loving Pisces who doesn't know what he wants right now, that's my prediction.

According to his natal chart, his Venus is in Taurus. I had to guess at his place and time of birth though, all I know is his birth date.

My Venus is in Libra.

And yes, I too have wondered if he suddenly decided to move away because I fibbed to him. He says it's because he's tired of living with his strict dad, but who knows. From what I can tell on Facebook, many of his close friends were not aware that he was moving away until he finally announced it the day before he left.

And yes, I'm already quite aware that the women will flock to him. Not only is he ?_ber romantic, but he's drop-dead gorgeous as well. Very dark-completed Italian guy. Thanks for confirming my worries. :-/

Elusive, what the hell are you smoking?!?!?! This has NOTHING to do with my former Capricorn fling. I do not give a sh-t about that loser anymore. He never even crosses my mind anymore. I care about this Piscss guy and I would never "use" him for anything. Unlike that asshole Cap, this Pisces has stuck around and been good to me. It's only now that he's at this crossroads in his life where he appears to be lost & floundering that I'm tempted to cut my losses and tell him I am walking away. He's given me some great memories and I will always think kindly of him, but I just don't want to sit around and wait for him to figure out what he wants in life.

Posted by IntriguedScorp

No one has latched onto the the fact of him leaving a few days after your confession of lying to him about when you had sex. Me thinks this is a reaction to that. But what do I know.

Do what feels right for you...is all I can say. Good luck.

I did... I think Pisces man smells a rat and is setting up some tests and stepping away from the situation to see OP's "true colors".

I don't understand how seeing/hooking up with other guys during this 3 months is "protecting your heart"? sounds more like.. "I'll get you, before you get me".

But the lovely Elusive has already got you in her "spidey" radar...

*looks around* this wasn't even the thread I wanted to post on... Where am I, anyway?

When did I ever say I was a victim in this?? I'm not accusing him of doing anything wrong and I'm not gonna try to hold onto him if he eventually does decide he wants to end this. In fact, I'm gonna AGREE with him because there is an issue right now that I cannot ignore. I have no problem with him traveling around. It would be cool if he and I did some traveling together one day. The issue I have here is that I am a jealous person and I cannot handle him living among thousands of wild horny available college girls who will no doubt flock to him. My imagination is going to run wild and neither of us needs that. So I'm going to be brutally honest and tell him this. How's THAT for self-reflection?

How is me admitting that I have a jealous streak equate to having a huge ego—? When did I ever state that I was perfect and awesome?? You're weird.

Mermaid, I dont know you or your past relationships with the pieces, I would tell the guy you are currently seeing that since he has chosen to move that you are going to take a break -- you dont need to tell him you are going to date, its irrelevant information but I do suggest that you start dating other people. If he comes back then maybe you guys can work it out but I feel like if he was serious about you he wouldn't have up and moved. So go out and date, and break it off with him completely.

And thats my personal opinion.

Posted by ellessque

Posted by MermaidPrincess
What I'm trying to ask is should I kindly tell him I want to end this and remain friends with him or should I say nothing and wait it out? He never said that he wanted to call it quits with me, and in fact he told me the other day that he DOESN'T want to end this yet, but it sounds to me like he just wants to keep me on the back burner as an option to come back to after he's had his 3 months of college fantasy fun. I don't want that at all. And besides, who's to say he won't develop an attraction to one of these college girls and suddenly fall head over heels for her? (I sometimes wonder if that would be possible considering he is at this huge crossroads in his life...if he can't make up his mind about being with me while his life is in limbo right now, then why would be want to commit to any other woman either?) Most likely, he will mess around with a few girls and I'm sure one or two of them might develop an infatuation with him and begin to smother him and he will remedy the problem by leaving and coming back home in December. With him being a freedom-loving Pisces who doesn't know what he wants right now, that's my prediction.

You are very annoying scorpio. 😄

Fist of all, give up all this perceived control you think you have and relax a minute.

You can't "predict" what will happen five minutes from now...you already have this guy banging the entire sorority house and he hasn't even packed his damn suitcase.

If this were a mature relationship, trust me.....ALL of this would be a nonissue.

So, THAT is my answer. Do what you please, you are going to anyways. We are not a magic eight ball up in here that you can shake the shit out of it to eventually get the answer you want.

click to expand

+1000

Where is P-Ankle I could imagine it now "so you emotionally placed yourself on him and now hes leaving you and your confused. You deserve it.

And then you say should you go ahead and dump him it looks as if you were the one dumped by your own prerogatives.


:::::shakes head:::::



You want him you know it eithier wait or dont and kill the thinking of hes going to fuck the population everything is possible but going nuts over it makes it all seem logicial as if it will happen. Relax.

There is nothing "destructive" about me seeing other people and feeling comfortable with letting him go while he is off trying to re-live his college days and shun any responsibilities. If anything, what I'm doing is HEALTHY. Sitting at home for the next three months pining away for him and begging him to come back would be destructive in my view. Anyone with some common sense could see that.

O-O

What an idiot.

What really surprises me is that it's usually Scorpio .... just lool at DeludedScorpio (aka: letthemeatcake)(which is bread you dumbass)


Seriously, you guys may irritate me from time to time, but, stupid isn't the usual label that belongs on your head ... then threads like this come from a Scorpio.



:::: shakes head ::::

Stupid is harsh to some in real life and harsher thru text and letters but this type of fast forward thinking gets no other label. Emotional.....bla bla I think you need to slow down the hes about to be a pimp. If you dont slow down I can see you losing him. When people push people away you deserve no other when you crash a car you burn in misery. Your insurance is DXP I dont know about the other user stuff thats besides the point. The point is you only get on a know it all high house if you bring the one you love you on the other hand jumped on the horse and rode off in a retarded bullshit direction. When a person in your life has something they want to do you support them like a good fucking friend should not put them in a pot to burn with your insecurity. You caught a firefly of love then you tried to stick it in a box. Love is a garden you must work and grow it but you refuse to water the shrubs. As lessons and life we all learn them but learning gets old as the next step is never reached. Prospering.

The other day I was talking to one of his best friends, and he kinda confirmed what my family and I had already suspected--He is grasping at any & every last semblance of freedom before he signs the paperwork to join the Coast Guard. This Pisces is a VERY freedom-loving guy who loves to go wherever the wind blows him and do what he wants when he wants. He knows that when he joins the Coast Guard much of that freedom will end and he will be locked into a tight routine and will have to follow strict orders. I'm sure he is stewing over this just like my brother did before he went off to Air Force Basic Training. So I can totally understand that. So I am trying to be as supportive as I can right now by giving him his space and not being upset towards him, but it's hard. Part of me wants to shake him and tell him "You're not in college anymore, so stop trying to live like you're still a college kid!! Go back to work and grow up!!" But I guess like a typical Pisces, he made this move in order to retreat into his dream world when real life got too stressful for him. I still partly blame myself for his moving away to College Town because his best friend told me that prior to our little argument, he was on the fence about whether or not he wanted to move to Gainesville. I think our little argument is what made him decide to move, so I'm really angry at myself right now. If I hadn't fibbed to him that one time, he might still be here near me. :-/

"That's not true at all. If I knew without a doubt that he wouldn't be screwing anyone else while he's away, I would absolutely wait for him and not see other people. But it's better to protect my heart and be safe than sorry."

I don't know if going into any potential relationship this way works. You have to open your heart, take risks, and trust. Otherwise you end up sabotaging what could be a beautiful thing that lasts. When you meet someone worthy of your love that is. Your attempt ay protecting yourself by pulling back is hurting your relationship with him. You might move on to the next guy, but if this becomes a pattern, and you meet the "right one", then you may risk sabotaging that too.

I also found out today that his father just got engaged. I have no idea whether this is good or bad news for Pisces man. From what he has told me before, he's not exactly fond of his mother's second husband, so I'm wondering if there is any friction between him and his father's new fianc?. Perhaps this is part of the reason why he wants to move out of his father's house and suddenly moved 4 hours away to live with one of his friends at the university? Eventually the answers will become known, so in the meantime I'm just trying to be as understanding as I can and hope that he'll come back around and talk to me about whatever is on his mind. He commented to me on Instagram the other day, so he'a obviously not ignoring me or angry at me. I guess he's just going through a rough personal time right now.