The Pisces Silence... Killing Me

I'm distressed, and very confused...

I'd say my personality is true to the typical Cancer personality. I randomly got a tweet, yes a tweet, from a mutual friends buddy. After that we started txting, and then texting everyday, and then twittering back and forth, and then talking ont he phone every night before bed. The only problem, was distance. It was a really unorthodox for either of us, but also safe I guess, cause we were 1.5 away from eachother. I brought up my insecurities with him, and him with me. We had some serious talks about life and family, and what we wanted in our life and expected from our significant other. All his friends started adding me, and the friends who live near me would always ask how we were and everything.

We planned to meet, I went down to the city and he came and met up with me and my girlfriends on my last day. I was very cancer, and was suprised how comfortable I was with being affectionate with this guy in public, and how affectionate he was back. We were the typical googly eyed mushy boy and girl. We just couldnt get over how it was, and everything was going well. Still talking everyday, and it had already been a month. We made plans for the following weekend and he did come up with his friends. We had a big group night out and it was alot of fun. We made a promise we'd not sleep with eachother until New Years, which would be 3 months and we didnt want to break it on a drunk night. Well woops, we did. However, that next day we were fine and still affectionate as ever. One of his friends who came up with him had a falling out and he was kinda bummed about that. Anyway, we talked that night and said goodnight over the phone. The next day we talked about what we were gonna do, whether or not we would wait to sleep with eachother officially, or whether that counted. He's like i was wondering the same thing haha i forgot to mention it, and im like ya what do you think!? and then no response.

I went home that night, and still hadnt heard from him. I got home and he finally sent me a text, and told me his day was really horrible. Got home and everything was blah, and then asked how I was. I was kind of stand offish and was very moody now after not hearing from him all day. So I was quite one word answers. Then he didnt respond. Didn hear from him at all that night. Right up until almost noon the next day. I could tell something was going on. He said he was having another bad day.

I could feel a shift in the relationship. I wasnt really sure if it was me or what was going on. I could understand he was working really hard, and had an arguement with a good friend, and plus I was an hour and a half away, he would constantly tell me how much he just wanted me there. Both of our friends thought we were perfect.

Wednesday came and another day of sparse talking. Now we hadnt talekd on the phone at all at night. Which is really strange.. 2 months of not going a day without talking, or speaking on the phone. I got kind of emotional, as you do when you feel like your losing someone. I went on the defensive, trying to save me some heartbreak. Our connection is.. or was so strong. I told him I was worried that this wasnt gonna work. I wanted to be friends, and I was scared that I was being naive. He always told me that we would make it work, and that there was just too much potential to give up on. He's like you always have a friend in me no matter what. I'm like ugh I just care about you alot, and he told me that he had felt liek that but liked me so much he just ignored it. He really wanted to have me in his life. I told him that I was sorry I was being ridiculous, he didnt respond!

Thursday, I sent him a message and was like I'm really sorry I was so emotional. I just was worried cause we feel so different lately. He told me to stop sayin sorry, and that he apologized because he passed out. That day we were chatting a little more, I could sense a bit of tension even through his texts. After work, he found out his friend had passed away. I told him that I was worried about him, and I hope that he was ok and Id be there for him. He didnt respond for 5 hours when he said thanks babe xo. I told his roomate who I know to make sure he was alright for me! He said will do hun x

After that, havent heard from him. Still havent heard from him. Went down to the city, cause we were going to spend halloween together with our friends. His roomate best friend, set me up with plans down there, and I never asked where he was. I found on the web to leave them they pull away, and with draw. I have to respect that because so Do i sometimes.

But its been 6 days. I sent him fb msgs letting him know how I felt, touching on what possibly I could have done wrong, maybe he didnt think I was 100% in, realizing that maybe I was only 80% .. i said it was really hard to not know if hes okay, or whats going on in his life. Still nothing.

finally i realized.

Maybe it was time for me to let go of what we had and stop assuming i could talk my way back into his heart. So I sent him a message on fb....

"... Id be lying if I believed that I risked enough, made enough effort, and tried hard enough. I know I didn't. I definitely was trying to keep u cause I wanted and was getting feelings for you, but at the same time I was really scared that I was in over my head. I didnt want to be that girl, and yet here I am! You deserved my all, and I'm sorry that It wasn't there.
I can't apologize for how you made me feel, or what you made me think. I can only take blame for how I went about this with you.. my actions. How I reciprocated or didn't.
Anyway. I'm hurt I have to now consider this an experience and not be able to have you in my life, but I just can't keep chasing after someone who clearly doesn't want to be in it. And it's also not fair to you. I wanted to be there when you needed me, I guess I was being naive to think everything else was the problem. This isnt easy, and I wish you would just talk to me, but I'm not sure what more I can do. I wish and hope that you get everything u want and deserve out life xoxo take care."

I dont really know what I was trying to achieve at this point. I was ready to accept the loss, and begin the no contact rule. I figured he does what he wants, and he has shut me out for a reason. I'm not clear on the exact reason, and dont know if I ever will be. This guys amazing, and the connection with him is amazing. He's worth waiting ages, and if the only way we can have a connection is as friends, I would want that. Right now I think I'm going to focus on me, and get my things together, he'd be proud and stoked to hear that I was registered for school 20 minutes away. I think so anyways.

I guess I wonder, am I doing this right, what more can I do? Is it worth keeping in touch... i'd love some takes on this!🙂

Cheers X

yah, i guess i just assumed it was impossible for someone to completely retreat from the one they say they care about so much. Then again there was no ill words between us for me to assume it was me. I'm trying to not let my emotions make me ruin this. So I do appreciate your msg!

Clearly, you only recognize yourself ... everything you have written here is all for you.


Several times I read in here that he would reassure you that he would be there for you ... while you only reiterated to him your insecurities, and fears.

How many times do you expect a person to pick you up?



The bottom line .. his friend passed away, and his life is distraut .. and if that isn't enough, his woman (you) is attempting to make him feel guilty.



At this point, he is probably re-evaluating you, and whether he made the right decision with you or not ... because clearly you cannot handle the fact that he has a right to live.

hey P-Angel

I totally get what your saying. In my defense I think it may be how I wrote it. I was more so just saying it all from the story of him to me, not me to him, if that makes sense. He has told me his insecurities, and worries as well, and I would reassure him, and let him know I was there for good. We shared alot of things with eachother, and It's been very equal, until recently.. There is no room for doubt in love, and I think thats what creeped in, when all I got was silence. I definitely wasnt trying to make him feel guilty, he's perfect and sometimes I get in this too good to be true head frame, but then moments like that pass when I remember how we say we feel about eachother, and the connection we have when we're together.

What you said is totally what I need to hear, I just guess I'm not used to someone retreating sooo drastically, and without saying anything. I'm kinda sad it comes accross as making him feel guilty, I just assumed maybe it wasnt that which made him hide away.

but now what do i do...

ahhh patience... so hard. How do I be supportive if he's not answering and not responding, and I've deleted him out of my life to try and fake my ability to move on.

His chart:
Sun - Pisces
Moon - Scorpio
Mercury - Aries
Venus - Aries
Mars - Aries

I dont know his birth time though.

My chart:
Rising Sign - Libra
Sun - Cancer
Moon - Scorpio
Mercury - Cancer
Venus - Leo
Mars - Leo

Its pretty intense synastry, and I'm almost thinking, looking at it now. I may be trying to get blood out of stone.. maybe

I'm missing him really bad. I have his tshirt I sleep in and it smells just like him. This is hard to be missing my bestfriend.

You are a young Cancer, right? Listen....

HIS FRIEND DIED!!!!!! and all you are thinking about is yourself. How badly YOU hurt, how patient YOU have to be, that he no longer cares about YOU. Not good.

It is typical for you to be self absorbed in this situation but you have to think about HIM for a minute. How do you think he is feeling now that he has to deal with his friend's death and you guilting him, and a possible break up. Not good.

It hurts, yes I know. But there is another's pain to consider, not just yours and it DOES hurt him just as much. I'd be happy he hasn't contacted you because really, what would you talk about with him? You? or would you even be interested in how he is doing...

Pisco26

Thanks for your msg. Ya, I had sort of an intuitive feeling to leave him be at first, but I think then my majorly conflicting emotional signs kicked in. I just dont know. I hate thats how it happened, and that it must seem like I just dont care about how he feels. This is gonna drive me insane. Its been since Friday, and now its Wednesday. I cut him off completely at the worst time, and ya I suck I'm the worst.

I shouldve just followed my heart. Not listened to the girlfriends...

AHHH saddening, anyway, thanks for your message! I appreciate it. I was super close on calling him tonight or in a couple days. Part of me thinks I'm making an even bigger mistake by giving up... But I think now that I read your message I am just gonna try and move on.

shellshocker

I want to make clear, that I could feel him retreat before his friend had passed away. And despite what you may get from whatt you read, I definitely do care how he feels, or I wouldnt be searching on some blog for insight, I wouldnt even bother, Id just walk away.

I'm not gonna be able to defend my actions, because its was not worth hurting someone I care about, especially when they are hurting. I definitely wanted to be there for him, and when he kinda retreated at first, I didnt think such a strong confident person would be pulling away from someone they cared about, just because work was stressful.

It kind of put doubt in my head, and I definitely started to go into cancer self preservation mode. When I found out his friend died, I made sure he knew I was there for him. But then he completely retreated, and I didnt expect that at all. It caught me VERY off guard. Its my first time dealing with a Pisces, I scoured the internet, talked to girlfriends, my mother lol, it was all so different and my feelings started to become conflicted.

Either way, I already feel like a horrible person for being far away, and that I just pulled back because he did. Yep, young at 21... but it's also hard to be intuitive with someone when theyre not beside you.

I dunno.. this is where I am, and I can't change anything Ive done. I can only move forward.

Of course you can change things .. you can begin to care about the other in sincere terms, rather than just in words, which appear to be empty.

example, you said: "I definitely wanted to be there for him, and when he kinda retreated at first, I didnt think such a strong confident person would be pulling away from someone they cared about, just because work was stressful."


You said the above as a defense when it was said that you don't care about him .. when what this is really saying is that .... he hurt you by pulling away from you. He was suppose to care about you, you, you .. and you cannot understand how a person could do that just because their life might be stressful.


He's gone .. I'd swim away from you too.

You are too self-centered for a Pisces ... try another sign.

If he does wonder back your way ... it's to get an easy lay.



Your best bet is to forget about him ... which shouldn't be hard, since you were thinking about you the entire time anyway.

Actually, as you expect, I disagree...

however, again appreciate the messages.

I do want to say though, he's not that kind of guy to wander back for an easy lay, he'd soon as not talk to me again. Just to make that clear for you.

Posted by crystalfayed
shellshocker

Its my first time dealing with a Pisces,Yep, young at 21... but it's also hard to be intuitive with someone when theyre not beside you.

I dunno.. this is where I am, and I can't change anything Ive done. I can only move forward.

With all my Pisces friends, a lot happens behind the scenes so to speak and yes, you need that face to face to read each other.

I'm almost 30, and if I'd been interested in a Pisces before this age I would have messed it up a LONG time ago... so don't feel so bad. Most of your reactions seem to come from a fear of 'loss' and getting hurt. Live and learn...

If the Fish here say he's not coming back... at least you'll NEVER forget this experience.

Yea! I guess I'm just waiting for him to say it... Like at what point is this retreating turning into I dont want you? Or should I still be there for him

^^ you still want something from him... and you haven't been there for him

this is almost becoming amusing.... its like a play on words here. Stop over analyzing my words now. I'm trying to find out if after allllll my self interest. If I even should try to be there for him then and be patient and let him know, or if it will make him feel worse that I'm trying to be there for him when he wants to be alone.

well i picked up on that, but i also got the part where i obviously wasnt there for him so i mean... that can be confusing lol .. haha how do i find that?

well are both the third decans...

People born between March 11 and March 20's decan is Scorpio (they are Pisces with Scorpio traits, though, compared to the other two Pisces decans, they are the least like Pisces).

Mine is

People born between July 12 and July 22's decan is Pisces (they are Cancer's with Pisces traits, though, compared to the other two Cancer decans, they are the least like Cancer).

KingPisces

space on the way.

Posted by treefrogger

Posted by KingPisces

Posted by crystalfayed
KingPisces

space on the way.

Give it 2 weeks.

Send him a text message by then, asking if he's OK and how everything is going. If you don't hear from him, it's over. At least you did your part. If he comes back to you later in the future, ball is on your court.

KP is right (as usual).. ^_^

crystal, from third decan cancer to another.. you are definitely more than capable of giving him the space he needs. he will greatly appreciate it. it will be tough, but luckily, you have that pisces influence to just adapt from it.

click to expand

thank u both. i will do this.