took ya opinion all...

I made it absolutely clear to Mr. Pisces, he even asked out right "So, you don't want to date me", I told him "NO". Put Taylor Swift's "White Horse" on his call tone and even told him to also listen to all of the words next time he hears it on the radio. How can I be more blunt— Asked me this evening, is that how you really feel? YES!

Do you know what I am getting now, Mr. Nicey Nice! Told me last night I can date whomever I want (gee, thanks, needed permission did I?), although ended the conversation with he loves me. So, today called me to see how my day was going (he NEVER calls during the day), couldn't wait for a return phone call despite the fact I was at work and busy and had to call again a bit later. Wanted to get a drink with me this evening if I didn't have plans, no I didn't, but don't foresee myself having a drink with you... "call me if you change your mind" he tells me. Well, I decided to go to wine tasting, he called again while I was there, said he just wanted to see how my day was going and was trying to set things right, wanted to let me know he cares and, of course, was I busy (could we still possibly get together tonight?). He keeps telling me he is sorry for the past how ever many months. Wants to take me on his next trip out of town and meet his mother.

I think the way I was handling it was actually easier and so much less stressful...

There is clearly no leading him on, I was point blank with him. And otherwise, what you are suggesting would be totally rude, I'm not rude! It's not like he's being mean or something, how can you think to be mean to someone who is not being mean to you? How can you think to be mean period? I'm not a mean person, I'm not sure I could be if I tried, I can't even call people names!!

Lildol... We SAID Mr. Pisces would probably come back, now that he's seen your backbone! (Wish you'd listened and showed it sooner, when there may have been hope for you two!) But until you tried to move on and actually started dating someone else, you were ALL ABOUT THE PISCES.. like, to a sickening degree... always thinking about him, worrying about him, when will he call, why doesn't he want to see me, why doesn't he want a relationship?? YUCK... even CHICKS don't find this kind of clingy, needy vibe as attractive. You were a doormat, and a complete turn-off. But when he saw he could really and truly lose you to someone else (SAW it, not just HEARD you were dating some guy), and now you are NOT all about him, you barely have time for him (not like before) and aren't all desperately jumping at the chance to see him, that's the opposite of the desperate, needy vibe you were putting off before.. And that's galvanizing him in a way all your heartfelt words and wishes never could. Now deal with the situation YOU created. No more wishy-washy from you, lady!

If you REALLY and TRULY want NOTHING romantic with Mr. Pisces now, you MUST stop taking his calls, and shut the door in his face! Period. You CANNOT "remain friendly" when someone has unresolved feelings, it simply does NOT work. You might think you're "being nice" but all HE will see is "there's still hope" and keep trying. Anything else IS leading him on, and yes -- creating drama. Maybe you guys can be friends a few months down the road, but I wouldn't hold my breath on that one.

Seriously, girl... STOP talking to him, or put your Big Girl panties on and quit whining about not understanding his actions about this. HE'S making perfect sense to me. It looks like YOU keep coming here to reveal yet MORE Mr. Pisces "Look At How He's My Lil Puppet Now" Drama ..and thmakes no sense to me. If you want to DATE him, DO SO. PLEASE, date at least THREE men and get hung up on NONE... And for fuck's sake, DO NOT get all wrapped like you were before.. you killed it when you went all doormat without any boundaries and allowed this man to continue seeing you on HIS terms, and still sleeping with you without any sort of commitment to you. It doesn't make him a bad guy - most guys are like that. If you ACT okay with it, he will ASSUME you're okay with the way things are! Kooky!

Yeah, controlling a Pisces is an illusion and an exercise in futility, but she at least needs to not be a doormat for him. ^.^

ian :o

... joo makin' me squirm. o.o

Thanks, I took everyone's advice again. Told Mr. Pisces that speaking to each other was probably making it more difficult on both of us. He got all irritable on me and questioned if that was what I really wanted and I told him "Yes". His response was a little abrasive, rather than the understanding I would have shown and otherwise wanted to hear - lost his sensitivity he's been showing over the past couple of days VERY quick.

Good. Now stick to it. NO CONTACT. You cannot be friends with him yet.

But I was still serious about dating at least three men... one is the "exclusivity w/o a relationship" trap (including the Virgo you're starting to date)... two is an "either/or" situation and pits one against the other (in your own mind) and limits your choices. At least three keeps you from getting hung up on any one of them (and repeating the mess you just had with Pisces!) If/when (and ONLY when) one of your dating guys steps up and is offering the exact kind of relationship you want.. whether it's an engagement ring, moving in together, getting married, whatever it is to YOU, whatever it is YOU want... THAT'S when you can become exclusive with one man, and dating no others.

Women used to do this, you know. "Sorry I can't see you tomorrow.. I'm washing my hair!" was a well-known code for having another date. But men KNEW that had NO VALID CLAIM on a woman he was just dating... KNEW he could not expect her to focus solely on him, her giving all the milk and him buying none of the cow... and her waiting around for him to make up his mind about her and if he even wanted to be with her long term? Nope, he had to propose and get her to accept (LOTS of women refused proposals two, three times, even from the same man! Ask some elderly, long-married, clearly still in love couples... bet she was his PRIZE he worked HARD for!).. THEN and ONLY then... she would write "Dear John" letters to her (several!) other suitors, telling them she accepted a marriage proposal and could not date them anymore. Ever wonder where "Dear john" letters came from? That's where.

I took his call, the VMs were ridiculous cause I'm such a bad person (of course that is nothing new, if I couldn't get his call/didn't hear it I was always the bad person). Shoot me if you choose. Crazy making, I tell ya. Trying to be such a smooth talker... his call tone is a clip from this song, which I know he has heard on the radio and I reiterated "listen to it!" Wants me to have dinner with him tonight, do you know what I told him— NO! (then he wanted to TALK about it, ick, I put a stop to that real quick, I don't do those conversations - listen to the song I told him)

And why should I have to tell the guy so many times I am not interested any longer— I reminded him that last Tue when we spoke that he asked and I specifically said that I did not want to see him. His reply, "I thought you said that because you were mad at me for something" (really?... in his mind, he is justified in ALL his actions, it was, after all, MY fault that he broke the Virgo's glasses). Hello?! The next night he blew my phone up and because I wouldn't pick up he called my son's cell. There is something just not right with the man. He now says there is something wrong with my son because my son told him off (to the point that Mr. Pisces tried to interrupt and my son told him to shutup he wasn't done talking - gotta love my Libra baby - then he and my daughter [a Cap] came to the house to make sure that if Mr. Pisces showed up on my doorstep they were there - not sure what they would have done, but they were looking out for their mom; not a role that they should feel they have to be in).

I feel sorry for the kids .. who are being led to believe that mom is in need of protection ... when it's all created drama by mom.


The kids are involved for your need of attention ... and the sad part is, not only are you letting them become your drama queen victims, you also appear to enjoy it.

P - I don't feel they should have taken that role. I stated such!

Valeria - of course I do, but I don't see a future in him (not a healthy one, anyway)... to tell him "no" was being honest with myself as well.

P - btw, my kids are grown, they have witnessed things that they never should have been subjected to. And, yes, they do feel the need to be there for mom and I suspect that it is that they couldn't when they were young and experiencing what was happening. Stop being so judgmental, you have no clue! Reality is not pretty...

Posted by lildol
P - btw, my kids are grown, they have witnessed things that they never should have been subjected to. And, yes, they do feel the need to be there for mom and I suspect that it is that they couldn't when they were young and experiencing what was happening. Stop being so judgmental, you have no clue! Reality is not pretty...

I have a clue .. such as the below ...

Posted by lildol

.. they have witnessed things that they never should have been subjected to ..

click to expand

By your own admission ... you are officially a bad mother. It was your choice to subject your children and you choose to do it.

Here's a wake up call since you're too dense to get it unless I tell you ... if you don't want a person to judge you, then stfu

*smh* not everything is within a person's control... but as I told my daughter when we left, "leave it, we can replace it, but I can't replace you or your brother."

And as far as judging others, I don't and can't understand why others do. Experiences make a person, listening to a persons experiences brings enlightenment. I so enjoy the stories of the homeless I am friends with, and I ask for their stories - and, in turn, when they're sick or down, they come themselves or send someone and ask for me... and you know what, they have NEVER, ever asked anything of me. I am simply that someone who will listen and give them a hug (or yell at them when they mess up). People who are as judgmental as you P consider themselves so much better than others. It is sad, really.

*smacks Ian* Don't be an ass, I haven't had sex with that guy since Feb thank you very much!!! Actually, it could have been Jan, I stopped seeing him back in Feb, don't know when the last time we had sex was.

NOT! Remember, we are under a full moon and it was the week of the new moon he got all weird, we're dealing with complete closure today baby!! Bring it on, I'm feeling, IDK, on top of the world today!!

longer than that... the solar eclipse is the 11th!

Actually, as I look at it, his behavior over the past few weeks has been anything but appealing. He lacks substance and is in a reactive mode. The inability for him to actually see things in perspective (if you will - what was said, what was done, not just that night, over the past 2 weeks or whatever) is disturbing enough. The fact that he is trying to convince me otherwise and justify his behavior, thereby trying to detract me from what is clearly right in front of me (his actions - not just recently, since Feb) is disgusting. He has no respect for me and would only be a burden to me if I continued to allow him to have anything to do with me and my world.

This has been recognized, analyzed, absorbed, accepted and, appropriately so, (he) has simply been discarded! It really is as easy as that... I move forward, I don't look back and I told him that!

Ian, sometimes it may take me a bit to get there, but when I do that's it and no regrets...

Is that so? Do you think I took his call simply because I wanted to talk to him— Uh, no I was sick of the damn voice mails about how I was such a bitch for not taking his calls. I wanted to make him go away. Sure, he asked me to dinner for tonight and I told him no. He was trying to be manipulative and make it all about "how could I treat him like that" just like the damn voice mails and we should talk about it over dinner. Absolutely not! I don't play that. I feel sick every time I hear his call tone, and yes, I have a call tone for him so that I know that I can ignore the fricken call!! And if he doesn't respect my request to not call me I've already decided I'm changing my number (which will be a pain in the ass because I coordinate 2 states for a national animal rescue organization, thus, it is not exactly the ideal option).

Lildol you are so much like my ex. bestie Capricorn. I thought Crabs were self-centered but you guys take it to a whole new level!
You instigate drama by planting words, and misrelaying information. Then you try to get everyone else involved in your self inflicted chaos and skirt any responsibility for your actions.
Halfway through any conversation, she'd stop listening and start formulating her response in her head. Every sentence she used would start with 'but' ... because it was never her fault. She believed that people either loved and worshipped her... or they were jealous and out to get her. She was loving and generous when she WANTED to be, but it was only to serve her own ego. Her image of herself was so delusional, there was just no point in dealing with her anymore.
Kinda like you...

Doesn't sound like her image of herself was delusional at all... she saw things as they were, it was or it wasn't. In my case, it wasn't for many months and we're not going back to was because when it was it really wasn't anyway, that was delusional and me wanting it to be something that it truly wasn't. In the present he wants it to be now what it wasn't then - too little, too late! Besides, even if I foolishly went down that path, it would be a path of self-destruction, I would be disrespecting myself as it's all a farce, a leopard can't change his spots!

There's a Leo, also?

I simply cannot wait until Virgo comes to the realization that she isn't real .. that is, if Virgo is a real person and not some fantasy.

OMG OMG OH MY FUCKING GOD!

FFS - STOP TAKING HIS FUCKING CALLS!

HOW HARD IS THAT TO COMPREHEND?!

How can I be any more clear?

STOP TAKING HIS CALLS! DELETE THE VM'S - WITHOUT LISTENING TO THEM!

KEEP YOUR KIDS OUT OF THIS MESS, LEST THEY FIND OUT HOW LOONY YOU ARE!

But instead of simply saying, "This isn't my Mom's number, goodbye!" and hanging up, SO EASY!.. your "wonderful" Libra son is SO USED TO DRAMA.. he had to join in and have a little bit of it himself! Your kids are SO USED to drama, they ran right over to get their grown asses involved in the shit storm created by their mother's inability to HANDLE HER OWN FUCKING MESS!

JUST STOP IT, YOU'RE A TOTAL DRAMA WHORE, DAMN!

If you CANNOT stop taking his fucking calls, then fucking ADMIT that you're wrapped around his little finger and stop relaying all of your self-induced, self-afflicted drama on US!

Personally, I'm SICK of hearing about the guy you're mind-fucking!

And your next post directed at me will likely be an innocent blink and a, "Omg.. how am I playing games?! It's HIM, it's all HIM!"

You can't see it, can you? You have not been honest or real since Day 1, but you can't see it!

But I bet you keep deluding yourself into thinking none of this is YOUR fault!

I have never so wanted to smack some sense into someone I've only met through words on a screen.

Grow the fuck up!

Nefer, it cannot stop ... because it is enjoyed.


Poor kids.


Meg, I'm sorry 😢

Posted by ianthefish

good song 🙂