Will my pisces dream come true?

Hello All🙂

I came here to ask all the savvy Pisces males and gals to help my Aries heart find some peace.

To keep a long 4yr love story short, I'm jumping to the Major points:

1. I fell in love with the man of my dreams??_6 mo later, he says "I'm an alcoholic"
2. I put up with him 4yrs and many weeks at a time he kept sober thru out the 4 yrs.
3. I experienced the lies, stealing, etc??_part of the addiction, I went insane trying to "help him quit"
4. He is a beautiful soul, a very spiritual being, loving and caring, so I loved him thru the storm.
5. He gets clean!!! Lives in a sober home now, and is a sponsor!

The bottom he hit before he finally turned over his disease to his higher power was that he struck me😢
So court has told me that until the no contact order is lifted, he can't contact me.

Before the sentencing, he would call me, email me, face book me. I loved seeing him grow into the man he shud be but alcohol hindered it. But the rule always applied, no contact!!
Post sentencing, he has erased me off FB, Nd will not answer my phone calls. His Probation officer said, he is not allowed to have any type of contact with me, not even thru FB text etc...
But he did it before his sentencing! Now I have tonwait til the court decides, he is ready to be introduced to me, since he is doing counseling, yet I know he is ready, we had been in contact all along!!

During his recovery, he has become so into the AA life style , and he is to reject anything that he thinks may keep him from sobriety including his family.
When he transferred to the new sober house, he decided not to tell me, he said he knew I wud take it hard cuz he wud have to be farther. He sent me mix signals as I call then, that post sentencing he will make up for everything. I have been working the steps for the al anon group which supports the wives, kids, and anyone directly affected by the drinker. I Do my best but I miss him so much that it feels like we will never get back to us😢
And since he pretty much has left me out in the cold, I don't know what to think if it😢

I feel he only kepte around til he got sentenced, i stuck around cuz I saw that this time he was working AA like he shud. But he won't call text or FB or email, before he did, and at first he called me from a dif, phone....to be Safe, but now??_ idk what to think!!!

I'm utterly heartbroken

Yes, until apprx another month cuz the courts need to c he is ready to b introduced to me, since I'm the victim.

He is taking counseling for it too. I feel like yes I'm being selfish but the rule always applied pre sentencing, yet he contacted me wily!

**weekly**

It's definitely complicated. I put in 4 years! And the reason I never married him is cuz I want to c him sober for 1yr. But what made him hit rock bottom was our domestic dispute,

It's no like he was a random guy who struk me and now I'm hooked! There is a lot of history.
@Pisces princess, I hope so, being excluded out like that, just makes me nervous. I'm not very patient at all, being an Aries, it's tuff to not take it personal, and feeling like, dammmm, I gotta go find him and find out really WTF is goIng on in his head, cus in inpatient and the court is taking too long for my style .

I'm feeling insecure, that's all. I try to think of his feelings and his mind, but my selfishness gets in the way, making me feel, he has rejected me.

Yes, it just feels like an eternity!! I gota work on not carrying that grudge when it's all over. He hates it wen I bring up past hurt. N being that he is clean now, n he sponsors ppl, n meditates, his mind is in a different planet. I don't wanna be hot headed Aries anymore,

you're toxic. your relationship was toxic. so when you state "it feels like we will never get back to us," you're not supposed to genius! you want to go "backward" while he's attempting to move forward. by virtue of this stance, you remain toxic, you enable and fuel his addiction. why then would he return to you?

if you're in a support group for family/friends of alcoholics, you should be following the guidelines of YOUR program as he is with his. you're clearly not. you've defied the court orders and allowed him to contact you in the past...putting his freedom and progression in jeopardy. yet, you claim to love him? if you loved him, you would encourage his wellness and that of your own.

in short, FUCK YOUR FEELINGS! fuck the past. fuck the "good times" because what was good for you, you enabling, destructive bitch, is not good for him.

you CHOSE to love an alcoholic and an abuser. you want this alcoholic and abusive person to return to you and what you fail to realize is that IF he succeeds, he will be a new man, a different man, a better man...and possibly too good for you.

focus on YOUR recovery and MAYBE the new you and the new he will meet again. he has to see a change in you as well because the reality is, the problem was not solely him...it was and is you as well.

Posted by MzAriesLady

1. I fell in love with the man of my dreams??_6 mo later, he says "I'm an alcoholic"
2. I put up with him 4yrs and many weeks at a time he kept sober thru out the 4 yrs.

1. The man of your dreams ?? A broken alcoholic is the man of your dreams ??

ok, then ... that's not crazy at all.

What really stuck out in my mind that you didn't know this ... that he had to tell you. If a person is so bad that they need to be put away for rehabilitation, then they are really fucked up indeed and have to be sucking on the bottle a lot = you never notice. He has to tell you.



2. You didn't have to put up with anybody ..... you chose to be with him.

You even say you put up with him is sending a message out to the psyche that to be with him was an endurance, which then puts into the psyche that he wasn't an acceptable person.

Your dream man isn't acceptable to you as the person he is, because to be with him was having to put up with him. How lucky for him that you decided to put up with him.




I hope he recovers away from you ... you harm him, and it sounds like he needs someone who is there with him, rather than someone who is there for themself.

He wants to obey the rules for the sake of his mental and physical health ... and you take it personally, as if to suggest that it's all about you?


wow

The title asks if your Pisces dream will come true .... I guess I missed that part.

What is the dream you want to come true?

Hey I admit to my short commings. I'm not saying that he screwed me up. I'm not blaming him. I didn't come here to my ass chewed for being real at how I feel. And like I said: the rule of no contact Always applied, he contacted me!! Are u then saying that I was in control of him deciding on calling me?
And yes I'm working the steps, Im human, I do have off days. I have good days, I do well most of the time. you really can't just make up ur mind about me by saying I'm the toxic one who will lead him to relapse. we have kids together, and it just so happens that this weekend was a very emotional time for a lot of reasons. And we all just suffer for the absence of a loved one.
I am not the bad guy, simply for being real on how it affects me.

I know who he is, him being away was necessary,
But we r left at home waiting patiently and sometimes feel sad cuz they r not home.
I'm home supporting my family, cleaning, caring for my kids, and working on me, with al anon, and others ways... But I still miss him, and came here to try to understand his side. But all you r doing, (no all) is saying I'm a horrible person!!!

Yes he is the man of my dream, do I understand how he feels, about our separation, no,
Do I encourage his growth, hell yes I do!
But I'm taking about how I felt! It's bull how u can fillet every every sentence I have said about how truly i feel, and make me the bad guy. Or criticize my choice in a man. This is an astrology forum, and I came here to understand more of the male Pisces personality.

Ty! That I can absorb. 🙂

Posted by MzAriesLady

I didn't come here to my ass chewed for being real at how I feel.

You presented your situation here, you therefore have to accept that people have views other than what you expected. If you cannot handle it, then don't post your personal information in public view.

Posted by MzAriesLady

.. the rule of no contact Always applied, he contacted me!! Are u then saying that I was in control of him deciding on calling me?

click to expand

Yes, you are in control of whether you obey your part of the rule, in accepting his calls. You want to come in here and pride yourself on telling us that you put an addict in check of himself due the fact that you love him and want him healthy .. and then take no responsibility in even attempting to understand the nature of an addict.

You have no desire to understand the helplessness of an addict and what he has to endure to get back to being mentally healthy .... because you are too worried that you might have to feel neglected in attention while he's trying to help himself.

Posted by MzAriesLady

It's bull how u can fillet every every sentence I have said about how truly i feel, and make me the bad guy. Or criticize my choice in a man. This is an astrology forum, and I came here to understand more of the male Pisces personality.

First of all if you have children together and all those years together, then you should be the one coming in here to tell others about the male Pisces personality .. not the other way around. So, think before you lie. You came here to reveal personal information about your family to get attention .... you said you were heart broken. So don't lie now and say you are working hard to supporting him during this time for the sake of the relationship and his well being .... because we can all read, and you clearly expressed in the OP that his absence is causing you to feel neglected and heart broken due to the fact that he's trying to be good, and you cannot handle having to take responsibility for your own feelings.

You are toxic .. if you cannot even handle your own feelings, when you are the one who put him away.

Second, nobody was criticising your choice of man. But, you're so butthurt when you hear the truth, that you cannot process any logical information after that point.

What was being said to you, in which you weren't able to comprehend is that ...... you are complaining about the bed that YOU MADE.

Posted by MzAriesLady

1. I fell in love with the man of my dreams??_6 mo later, he says "I'm an alcoholic"

I'm still waiting for that comprehension to come to you.

On the Aries board, you started a thread that is talking about selfishness and how to over come it ... YOUR THREAD ... and the first thing you have to do is to be aware of it, and not just in the words you typed ... in actuality, for reals that you actually do it, you have to realize it.

Are you so self-absorbed with yourself that you don't even notice he's an alcoholic and has to tell you?

yes


If you really want assistence in this situation, then you're going to have to pull your head out of the sand and actively listen to what is being said .... because several people have given valuable information.