Break-up Poll

1) What do you typically do following a breakup, whether positive or negative?
2) Of the above, what actually helps you the most?
3) How long does it typically take you to get over someone?
4) The worst advice you have been given, during a breakup.
5) The best advice you have been given during a breakup.

1)
- Get drunk, smoke weed more often the first few weeks

- I vent to everyone obsessively. Friends, Strangers, forums, Journals, Talking outloud etc. It's practically verbal vomit the first few weeks.

- Over eat or don't eat

- Cry a lot

- Become a hermit, avoid friends, possibly let my hair go unbrushed (ew)

- Unable to sleep at all, or sleeping way too much, usually both, in that order.

- Read through letters or look through old photos, ruminate, act like 16 year old and secretly embarrass myself.

- Have to convince myself repeatedly not to contact the person (this is true no matter who broke up with who)

- Listen to really sad songs, eventually realize this is ridiculous and listen to really happy songs.

- Suddenly become very open to the idea of occult type things. Join an astrology forum, begin doing tarot readings, see signs in songs and random events. One time I even became really religious and would pray constantly, even though I have always been agnostic and continue to be after moving on. -rolls eyes at self-

- After a few weeks or months depending on how bad the breakup is, of being unable to do anything crative suddenly I immerse myself in one of my arty type hobbies. So either making music with Ableton, or Photoshopping, or writing (creatively rather than Whingey)

- Take sexy photos - Peruse online dating websites, strokin' the ole Leo ego, seeing what kinda hotties I could conceivably be doin',

- 'Do' no one.

- Listen to meditation tapes about moving on

- Pamper myself; flowers, new lingerie, get my nails done, Do something different with my hair, Indulge in some retail therapy, later regret it.

- Exercise obsessively

- Put on a facade of being super positive and strong - eventually come to realize it's no longer just a facade,
aaaaaand end scene!

2) I think all of it is part of a process I need to go through but the most helpful things I do are listening to happy songs, meditation, Immersing myself in creative hobbies, Distracting myself with lots of exercise which also release tons of great endorphin's and make me look physically better. Always a good bonus right.
Positive thinking is my #1 most useful too but tends to feel out of reach at first.

3) Feels like way too long - anywhere from 3-15 months depending on the situation.

4) I FUCKING HATE when people tell me I am "too pretty to be sad" What the FUCK does that mean? Only unattractive girls have the monopoly on heartbreak? And who's determining what constitutes pretty enough to be happy ? WTF is with that line, the whole concept of it is offensive. Fuck off.

5) This too shall pass. - Best line ever!

1. I take time to analyze the relationship. Figure out why I felt the way I felt then try to rewire my mind into understanding why it doesn't benefit me anymore
2. Painting helps. I imagine myself painting all of my negative thoughts and painful feelings on to the canvas. Lol. I pretend like I'm a pheonix, when the painting is done- I'm reborn.
3. Depends on how much I cared for that person.
4. I need to get a new bf. That doesn't work if you haven't healed properly.
5. Some ppl come in and out of your life for a reason. Take whatever lessons you've learned and believe in a better future.

Posted by psychologicallyBeautiful

4. I need to get a new bf. That doesn't work if you haven't healed properly.

Yeh I never got this advice either... What terribly shit advice imo. Rebounds are so unhealthy and unfair to the new person. I simply cannot help but compare anyone new unfavourably, to the recent breakup guy.

Posted by xdimplez
become a wicked feminist and talk about how women dont need men.

Hahaha I forgot about this one!!!
me too!! Definitely me too.
I even bought a bunch of tools recently, in pink no less and danced around the store making up some song about how I can fix my own shit and don't need a man to do it etc hahahaahha


Also I love how your worst advice was my best. It's interesting to note how what works for one person def does not for another!

Posted by CancerLeoDynamite


1) What do you typically do following a breakup, whether positive or negative?

Stay the hell away from dating and have zero interest in doing so, keeping busy if I can help it. Some people want to rebound asap and I have no idea how they do it. I'd rather avoid the male species for awhile while I recoup. Other than that, there's the typical analyzing of what happened and why.

2) Of the above, what actually helps you the most?

All of it.

3) How long does it typically take you to get over someone?

Too long sometimes. Damned Taurus venus. Fixed signs are bullshit. No pun intended...

4) The worst advice you have been given, during a breakup.

"HE'LL BE BACK!!" Really? Really, you think THAT'S good advice? I hate it when people perpetuate false hope when someone needs truth to keep them in reality. All too often, usually women, give really stupid advice for the sake of coddling. It does not help the break up process.

5) The best advice you have been given during a breakup.

click to expand

Can't remember per se. It's usually coming from a guy because they don't say the stupid shit that women do.

1) What do you typically do following a breakup, whether positive or negative?
My mood usually swings from elation at being free, to being disappointed that it's over.
2) Of the above, what actually helps you the most?
Probably the freedom feeling
3) How long does it typically take you to get over someone?
Kinda quick - they're usually violent endings 😛
4) The worst advice you have been given, during a breakup.
Can't recall ever getting any
5) The best advice you have been given during a breakup.
Let's drive to Vegas

1) What do you typically do following a breakup, whether positive or negative?
-Think of all the crap I didn't like about him, but was willing to overlook.
-Delete him off of everything
-Act like he doesn't exist
-Do something healthy and fun for myself
-Have a toast in the name of shite happens for a reason

2) Of the above, what actually helps you the most?
-Do something healthy and fun for myself

3) How long does it typically take you to get over someone?
-Depends on the person, sometimes a day or two... sometimes a few months

4) The worst advice you have been given, during a breakup.
-Call him or find out where is at and who he is with. Some dumbass shite right there

5) The best advice you have been given during a breakup.
-Move on because one day you will meet someone who is the perfect fit for you. Accept no substitutes, because one day you will regret that you did that.

1) What do you typically do following a breakup, whether positive or negative?
- Strip clubs, friends and sports (mostly watching 😛).

2) Of the above, what actually helps you the most?
- Strippers

3) How long does it typically take you to get over someone?
- a week or two (the last one was bad though, took longer almost two months)

4) The worst advice you have been given, during a breakup.
- "Go and talk to her, she still loves you"

5) The best advice you have been given during a breakup.
- "Dude get laid"

1) What do you typically do following a breakup, whether positive or negative?


Spend more time with friends and family. Keep busy. Take on more voluntary projects. Smoke weed.


2) Of the above, what actually helps you the most?


Keeping busy.


3) How long does it typically take you to get over someone?

Depends on what happened and how hurt they left me. The more hurt I am (especially if they have broken trust) the easier it is to detach and part. Depends on the circumstances overall. For my ex it wasn't very long...I'd already detached before the relationship ended.


4) The worst advice you have been given, during a breakup.


I follow my own mind, not the advice of others.


5) The best advice you have been given during a breakup.


Nothing really powerful for me to take heed...I know what's good and what's not for me.

Posted by CancerLeoDynamite
1) What do you typically do following a breakup, whether positive or negative?
2) Of the above, what actually helps you the most?
3) How long does it typically take you to get over someone?
4) The worst advice you have been given, during a breakup.
5) The best advice you have been given during a breakup.

1. Waited til he booked himself an airline ticket with my credit card so I knew I would have a couple of days to plan my escape.
2. self explanatory
3. I was over him 7 years before I left. And when it happened (the really bad thing he did), I was over him instantly.
4. "there are no sides" (the fuck there aren't)
5. there was no good advice

1) What do you typically do following a breakup, whether positive or negative?
Find something physically active to do and socialize - anything other than him. Make a list to remind myself of all of the reasons why it didn't work out and use that list for clarity of what I am looking for. Remind myself that life goes on.

2) Of the above, what actually helps you the most?
clarity list but in all honesty it's a combination of things - i just continue to move forward

3) How long does it typically take you to get over someone?
depends on the depth of the relationship I guess - it takes about a month for me to get a good handle on things though

4) The worst advice you have been given, during a breakup.
i've seen the way he looks at you - give him a second chance (this person is no longer my friend - lol)

5) The best advice you have been given during a breakup.
if he wanted to be in your life, he would be - same as -people that want to stay in your life will find a way

Posted by CancerLeoDynamite


4) I FUCKING HATE when people tell me I am "too pretty to be sad" What the FUCK does that mean? Only unattractive girls have the monopoly on heartbreak? And who's determining what constitutes pretty enough to be happy ? WTF is with that line, the whole concept of it is offensive. Fuck off.

5) This too shall pass. - Best line ever!

"too pretty to be sad" - that's a classic one - grinds my gears, one of the dumbest shit i've ever been told

Posted by cancer12

Posted by CancerLeoDynamite


4) I FUCKING HATE when people tell me I am "too pretty to be sad" What the FUCK does that mean? Only unattractive girls have the monopoly on heartbreak? And who's determining what constitutes pretty enough to be happy ? WTF is with that line, the whole concept of it is offensive. Fuck off.

5) This too shall pass. - Best line ever!

"too pretty to be sad" - that's a classic one - grinds my gears, one of the dumbest shit i've ever been told

click to expand

During my divorce I was one of the most heartbroken miserable wretches of a human being you have ever seen. Thats just how I needed to be to move on, and constantly I would be told that I was too pretty to be sad. What relevance does that have?? My husband found me to be quite unattractive and reveled in letting me know through the divorce.
It was as though secretly their comments were telling me I deserved to be unhappy because I wasn't pretty enough

FUCK
THAT
NOISE

1) What do you typically do following a breakup, whether positive or negative?

Got out get drunk, go clubbing with friends, enjoy my time, and get laid.

2) Of the above, what actually helps you the most?

Going Clubbing.

3) How long does it typically take you to get over someone?

Not long. Maybe a week, if that.

4) The worst advice you have been given during a breakup.

Try not to listen to advice.

5) The best advice you have been given during a breakup.

My mother and this is the only piece of advice I have ever listened to. Look out for number 1 cause no one is going to do it for you..

1) What do you typically do following a breakup, whether positive or negative?
I've always been the dumper, sooo....it has never affected me that much. I do go through a period of wondering if I had made the right decision, though, and missing them. In which case, I just ignore it and get rid of everything that reminds me of them. I generally don't like to talk to my friends about it...they usually don't even know I've broken up until someone checks my fb profile (since I always delete the changed status before anyone can comment on it.

2) Of the above, what actually helps you the most?
Well, ignoring it, since that's the only thing I really listed.

3) How long does it typically take you to get over someone?
It depends. I'm usually over them right away...however, maybe a week or a month later, I start the reflecting stage and miss them...and that can vary...I could get over that in a week or two...or...months later.

4) The worst advice you have been given, during a breakup.
'I didn't like him, anyway', if you can call that advice

5) The best advice you have been given during a breakup.
I don't remember...probably something about how missing them is normal, but what I actually miss is the memories, etc.