MsImpala66
@MsImpala66
13 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 72 · Topics: 15
HELP!
MSIMPALA make sure to post this on the Cap forum, lots of help over there.
For the most part, it is a reoccurring theme with Cap men. They tend to go hard and then fizzle out at some point, not all Caps behave this way but unfortunately for you you're not the exception.
I suggest you keep the door open if you're truly interested, continue on doing what you were doing before you met him, continue dating other men and continue to focus on yourself and on the men that are available.
He could simply be unavailable (commitmentphobes always find a way out with an excuse true or false) and is bowing out early on you, of course the daughter although it may be true whatever is going on with her, he's using his daughter as an excuse to bow out gracefully.
If he's scaling back, you scale back too because if he's interested there is no way he'd risk losing you to another man, given that he's risking losing you b/c of his lack of effort says a lot.
For the most part, it is a reoccurring theme with Cap men. They tend to go hard and then fizzle out at some point, not all Caps behave this way but unfortunately for you you're not the exception.
I suggest you keep the door open if you're truly interested, continue on doing what you were doing before you met him, continue dating other men and continue to focus on yourself and on the men that are available.
He could simply be unavailable (commitmentphobes always find a way out with an excuse true or false) and is bowing out early on you, of course the daughter although it may be true whatever is going on with her, he's using his daughter as an excuse to bow out gracefully.
If he's scaling back, you scale back too because if he's interested there is no way he'd risk losing you to another man, given that he's risking losing you b/c of his lack of effort says a lot.
Posted by MsImpala66
In the beginning it was great he was in constant communication. We finally went out and we clicked instantly, we had a great time. Everything was great for the next few days,he was calling me pet names, then something happened regarding his daughter and everything stopped. He wasn't communicating with me as much, it was as if he wasn't interested anymore. When we talked about it, he said he was still interested just that he had a lot on his mind and he seems to forget a lot of the times.
Same EXACT shit happened with me and 2 Capricorns!
I think he just loses interest.
@tiki33
Thanks I did post it on the other forum and have gotten advise there too. When we meet he shows interest and concern but then goes right back to the way he was distant. I totally agree, I need to pull back a bit and continue dating others and if he does try harder I will try too.
I appreciate your advise thanks!
Thanks I did post it on the other forum and have gotten advise there too. When we meet he shows interest and concern but then goes right back to the way he was distant. I totally agree, I need to pull back a bit and continue dating others and if he does try harder I will try too.
I appreciate your advise thanks!
@ Lenore0908
Thank you for your advise, I do appreciate it. I know everyone tells me to just step back and let things unfold. I am trying to be patient but it's so hard sometimes, LOL. Again thank you!!
Thank you for your advise, I do appreciate it. I know everyone tells me to just step back and let things unfold. I am trying to be patient but it's so hard sometimes, LOL. Again thank you!!
Msimpala you're not married nor in a committed relationship are you? If not then I'm sure you understand you are free to date whomever including him.
I have a 2 and a spare mentality, I'm married but I learned from my own experience not to close down my options for the wrong man.
I dated until one man put a ring on it so excuse me if I'm off course but I don't believe a woman should sit with the wrong man, wrong as in the guy that is stalling, unsure, using excuses (valid excuse or invalid excuses) as to why he's not being present with her, been there done that.
Certainly you don't need him to not be distant because you're going to be happy irregardless, doesn't mean you don't empathize but you're not going to wait for him to do what men naturally do when they're interested. If whatever you desire is not with him, surely it can be with someone else.
In situations like yours I would keep him on my radar but of course he couldn't have all of me until he's shown he's worth my time but of course this is how I was and I wasn't always that way. If he's the best man he'll win, if not certainly there is someone else that can fill his shoes.
I have a 2 and a spare mentality, I'm married but I learned from my own experience not to close down my options for the wrong man.
I dated until one man put a ring on it so excuse me if I'm off course but I don't believe a woman should sit with the wrong man, wrong as in the guy that is stalling, unsure, using excuses (valid excuse or invalid excuses) as to why he's not being present with her, been there done that.
Certainly you don't need him to not be distant because you're going to be happy irregardless, doesn't mean you don't empathize but you're not going to wait for him to do what men naturally do when they're interested. If whatever you desire is not with him, surely it can be with someone else.
In situations like yours I would keep him on my radar but of course he couldn't have all of me until he's shown he's worth my time but of course this is how I was and I wasn't always that way. If he's the best man he'll win, if not certainly there is someone else that can fill his shoes.
Actually I did not say continue looking, my exact words " continue dating other men" which means exactly what it means. Continue to date until there is one guy that is serious, don't take yourself off the market for an iffy, preoccupied with himself type of man.
I'm not disagreeing with you because I understand there are women in the world who aren't comfortable with having options and have learned and have taught themselves to focus all her energy on one man. I'm not saying your way is wrong, it's just a harder path to take IMO.
I'm definitely a fan of having options and opportunities to create a path to meeting the man that naturally want to be my Mr. Right and he found me. To each her own, what worked for me may not work for others, completely understandable.
I'm not disagreeing with you because I understand there are women in the world who aren't comfortable with having options and have learned and have taught themselves to focus all her energy on one man. I'm not saying your way is wrong, it's just a harder path to take IMO.
I'm definitely a fan of having options and opportunities to create a path to meeting the man that naturally want to be my Mr. Right and he found me. To each her own, what worked for me may not work for others, completely understandable.
LOL@huge mess. I think transparency is in order, honesty as well. Not worrying about the outcome helps to because men leave, if he left he was going to leave eventually, men that stay--stay.
I believe so many women are programmed to be with one man only during the dating phase on up and if he's the wrong person well OH WELL, she's staying because she's invested all of her time, energy and efforts, I been there done that and truthfully it's just hard doing that and a waste of time. If I had continued to do what I was doing I'd be 30 with nothing, I couldn't allow that to happen to me.
Yes it's hard for some women to date more than one man, it's hard for some men to date more than one woman but they've had more practice at it and men understand it's necessary to do this to weed out the undesirables but what I can't understand is why women haven't picked up done the same thing.
You actually are doing some part of circular dating if you're still flirting, talking to other men, have options, you are not actually dating in terms of physically going out with another man but your heart and mind is open and that is part of what circular dating is, it's about knowing you have other options which can and will feeling of desperation, prevent the needy, clingy energy so many women experience.
It's a waste of time latching onto a man that has issues, problems etc etc, if he has a commitment issue well that's his problem but I gotta prioritize being with a man that has learned to prioritize me despite his problems. You see I recognized that if I remained with an iffy guy, a guy that's commitment shy then I was 100% RESPONSIBLE for being with that kind of man.
If I latch onto the first guy that ACT like he's interested only to fizzle out well that's not his problem, it's my problem for having a bad relationship pattern of sticking with that guy, putting him first instead of myself. I changed my pattern and was able to actually have the kind of relationship "I" dreamed about but it wasn't until I changed that a REAL relationship could manifest.
I believe so many women are programmed to be with one man only during the dating phase on up and if he's the wrong person well OH WELL, she's staying because she's invested all of her time, energy and efforts, I been there done that and truthfully it's just hard doing that and a waste of time. If I had continued to do what I was doing I'd be 30 with nothing, I couldn't allow that to happen to me.
Yes it's hard for some women to date more than one man, it's hard for some men to date more than one woman but they've had more practice at it and men understand it's necessary to do this to weed out the undesirables but what I can't understand is why women haven't picked up done the same thing.
You actually are doing some part of circular dating if you're still flirting, talking to other men, have options, you are not actually dating in terms of physically going out with another man but your heart and mind is open and that is part of what circular dating is, it's about knowing you have other options which can and will feeling of desperation, prevent the needy, clingy energy so many women experience.
It's a waste of time latching onto a man that has issues, problems etc etc, if he has a commitment issue well that's his problem but I gotta prioritize being with a man that has learned to prioritize me despite his problems. You see I recognized that if I remained with an iffy guy, a guy that's commitment shy then I was 100% RESPONSIBLE for being with that kind of man.
If I latch onto the first guy that ACT like he's interested only to fizzle out well that's not his problem, it's my problem for having a bad relationship pattern of sticking with that guy, putting him first instead of myself. I changed my pattern and was able to actually have the kind of relationship "I" dreamed about but it wasn't until I changed that a REAL relationship could manifest.
Also I didn't do boyfriend, I was either single or married. I decided for me it was necessary to be honest that no matter how many times we go out I'm single, there's the door, some left but one stayed. My husband is Nordic which may be why he was not intimidated by any of it.
I explained quite early I'm single point blank period until I'm married which actually eliminated the men who wanted to stall me with the girlfriend trap, test me and find an excuse to stall and still get the same benefits, wtf lol.
I'm nobodies anything unless I'm his wife. To be clear I was not always this way, I have dated a few assclowns that prioritized themselves and their issues before me and of course I accepted that (unknowingly).
I've dated men that expected complete loyalty whilst he lives his life while I wait to live mine, been there done that, I didn't need anymore of that miserable mess. Once I learned why I was subconsciously accepting less I was able to turn that around into a positive for myself.
Everyone has her own path, I'm not saying my path is right, I'm saying my path is one of so many paths that are out there.
I explained quite early I'm single point blank period until I'm married which actually eliminated the men who wanted to stall me with the girlfriend trap, test me and find an excuse to stall and still get the same benefits, wtf lol.
I'm nobodies anything unless I'm his wife. To be clear I was not always this way, I have dated a few assclowns that prioritized themselves and their issues before me and of course I accepted that (unknowingly).
I've dated men that expected complete loyalty whilst he lives his life while I wait to live mine, been there done that, I didn't need anymore of that miserable mess. Once I learned why I was subconsciously accepting less I was able to turn that around into a positive for myself.
Everyone has her own path, I'm not saying my path is right, I'm saying my path is one of so many paths that are out there.
+1
Thank you both of you for your advise and imput, you both have great views.
Ah I'm sorry to hear that MsImpala. Do you know any of his other placements? Ive known a few capricorns like this, one of my best girl-friends used to be like this before she "fell in love".
But the best example I can give is my brother, who, at 30 is a somewhat promiscuous commitment-phobe. He's getting old to be messing around still but he can't seem to stick to one girl. his relationship of 6 years ended a few years ago and since then he's been all over the place because he has this charming effect on women for some reason and then he messes them about. He's such as lovely, familial guy and yet.., Well I digress. Capricorns are funny creatures.
Perhaps your capricorn is truly caught up in his daughters situation. Although capricorns can seem insensitive, when it comes to family, often they take first priority, naturally. I hope he comes around and gives you a sign of what you should do. Good luck 🙂
But the best example I can give is my brother, who, at 30 is a somewhat promiscuous commitment-phobe. He's getting old to be messing around still but he can't seem to stick to one girl. his relationship of 6 years ended a few years ago and since then he's been all over the place because he has this charming effect on women for some reason and then he messes them about. He's such as lovely, familial guy and yet.., Well I digress. Capricorns are funny creatures.
Perhaps your capricorn is truly caught up in his daughters situation. Although capricorns can seem insensitive, when it comes to family, often they take first priority, naturally. I hope he comes around and gives you a sign of what you should do. Good luck 🙂
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