I NEED OPINIONS Cancer gal w/ Cancer Boy

I'm 20 and I am a cancer gal in love with a cancer dude. He's about a week and a half younger than me. I find myself pouring my heart out to him but I get this "oh okay" or "h'alright" (the h is this nervous sounding laugh noise) and he looks away. I've read about cancerians so I find it cute and wonder?does he like me too??
Now there are a lot of politics involved in this story. We started interacting at 16. I felt that we were flirting and I told him I liked him but he said he didn't want a relationship until after high school. Well we ended up losing our virginities to each other right before we turned 17. We'll as an excited teenage girl I blabbed and of course it got back to him. It started this big war between him, his friends, me and my friends. It was all awful. However we both snuck behind everyone's backs now and then through out the years to mess around. He's admitted that those times ?weren't exactly a walk in the park for me either?.
We are now in our junior year of college and we've put our defenses down a lot towards each other recently. I cooked him a pie for Xmas, and we hung out all day when I gave it to him. When he looks at me I sense that he really does like me. This is when he first let me smooch him. Also I grabbed his hand, and he gently squeezed mine! He also said something that struck me as odd. ?You have to train us just like a dog?
Yet he claims that he has no romantic feelings for me. But why though? After four years if he didn't have any romantic feelings for me why is he giving our friendship another shot? Sure sex, but is it worth all the drama that I bring? I'm emotional, and I tend to freak out and not be so consistent with my "Decisions" regarding following logic and following my heart.
Well his friends hate me still and he doesn't want them to know anything's even going on between us bc he's afraid they'd reject him. It makes sense after all his bashing me. However he risked a lot by having me at his dorm to have sex. He was nervous. I haven't opened him up enough for a make out session, but I've gotten a smooch twice. Plus I got him to shake hands to starting things with kissing next time.
According to a mutual friend he is self conscious of taking his shirt off b/c he gained weight. When they went swimming he kept his shirt on, yet he did it for me? Also the sex was passionate. He looked into my eyes, and his eyes had this soft gooey look. He would lay his head on my breasts and when I would stroke his hair and

He would lay his head on my breasts and when I would stroke his hair and moan "oh baby" I felt him shudder.
Also the way he grabbed my shoulders from underneath and pulled me towards him...felt more than "just casual". I'm the girl he lost himself to. I'm also the only girl he's been with sexually. Yet he has no romantic feelings towards me what so ever? Now being a typical cancer man he wants to finish college, get a good job and stability. So I think to myself is that the reason he denies feelings for me? Yet I dunno! He's taught me patience, dealing with his ass for 4 years now. However...I will be completely destroyed if I wait a couple more years just for some possibility that he does desire me. I love him so much that I will wait, but I am so afraid.

I didnt spill all my feelings in the first two weeks. we were friends for a very long time before I told him. but maybe I am just being stupid

I agree with furryleo on this. I have been here.

1. Sex with someone that your not in a relationship means nothing.

2. NEVER EVER wait for someone. If you expressed your romantic feelings over these 4 years and nothing has come out of it NOTHING ever will. Sorry but it's the truth. I had a thing like this with a libra and no good comes from relationships like these except a few good humps.


If your serious about relationships find someone else who is too and don't sleep with them until your in a relationship.

My 2 cents.

I feel like such an idiot. Like I said there are a lot of politics involved but if he is just taking avantage of me then that's really fucked up.

Yeah, it's okay CatGirl. I was in the same place. I now realize you should never read to much into what men say or do. Because usually their is nothing behind it.

...I hope that doesn't bitter? Haha. Bitter at the age of 19? Not good. lol

I hate how this page takes so damn long to load. Well I was asked out on a date. I felt it might be too soon after having sex with him. So I asked him if he minded or if that'd be offensive to him. He wouldn't answer. Then AFTER I told him "ok well I told him no taking your feelings into consideration." he got all defensive. So I said simply "It's obvious I need to get over you. Yet if you have no feelings for me then why wont u just tell me to fuck off? It would make things easier on me."

again no answer.

and Don't worry about being bitter. I've been bitter for a very long time now. I know it's not good, but some times you just can't help the way you feel. I suppose everything happens for a reason, including your emotions..bitter or not.

i think yall are right. I can't keep doing this to myself. he's clearly taking avantage of the fact that I have feelings for him so he can get sex. That's sick and cruel. My feelings need to start coming before anyone or anything else. yet its his loss not mine. I bet once I stop talking to him he's going to start messaging me. Ass.

im trying to move on. this morning i told him its low that im his little secret and i cant do it anymore

Please stop contacting him though...
I'm not saying you're pathetic - you have a right to your feelings and it's understandable that you'd want answers from him - but apparently he is neither mature or decent enough to give you even that much respect. If you continually contact him demanding answers and telling him how bad he made you feel you will only end up frustrating yourself more and looking rather pathetic.

Stick with the others advice adn let it go. But really...let it go. Stop contact. No texting him and telling him he hurt your feelings - clearly he could give a shit.

& you will not make him give a shit. No matter how much you harrass him.

gee thanks for calling me pathetic.

my friend is a cancer and married a cancer guy when she was way young, they had kids, married for awhile, she found out he had a side relationship with a stripper, she stayed with him but started cheating on him with anyone even slightly interesting... they broke up 8 years later finally. He always treated her well n spoiled her, but got a lil abusive at times.

She's with a pisces now, they adore each other, and they never argue, and he wont even acknowledge other women, go figure that.