lust turns to hate...whats my problem!?

So, this has happened a few times over the last 2 years, I meet a guy, I'm attracted to him, our personaltys click, we get along and things are going well...but when they express to me their feelings about the situation I am suddenly so put off by them and something inside me makes me hate them... of course they get confused and they want answers, and I don't have them, I just drop all contact and move on. Whats wrong with me?? I'm going to be forever alone!!

Also... I'm often fixated on unavailable men... I think that could be linked to this also.

Posted by Koniucha
Do you have a Venus - Neptune aspect?

Venus tribe neptune

Trine

Posted by Koniucha
Well the trine is easier. I have the square and I always go for unavailable men.

Venus trine Neptune

http://astromatrix.org/Horoscopes/Planet-Aspects/Venus-Trine-Neptune

My Venus in Taurus 11th house also if that says anything. I will have a read, thanks. 🙂 haha how do you deal?

Posted by Koniucha
What about other aspects to Venus?

Venus trine uranus
Square saturn

Square jupiter
Opposite pluto

Posted by blackphase

Posted by JURR
Also... I'm often fixated on unavailable men... I think that could be linked to this also.

It just sounds to me like you aren't ready for anything too serious. You seem to be avoiding anything that will turn permanent. And that is fine, everyone goes through different phases in their lives. You won't be alone forever, you just haven't met the one who you are willing and ready to settle with. When you do, you'll know it. The point of view that you have now will change when he enters your life.

click to expand

Yeah I think so...but part of me misses being with somebody haha. Clearly I'm not ready though

Posted by thinktoomuch

Posted by JURR
So, this has happened a few times over the last 2 years, I meet a guy, I'm attracted to him, our personaltys click, we get along and things are going well...but when they express to me their feelings about the situation I am suddenly so put off by them and something inside me makes me hate them... of course they get confused and they want answers, and I don't have them, I just drop all contact and move on. Whats wrong with me?? I'm going to be forever alone!!

Well you said it yourself: it´s lust not like/love. Seems like you´re more focused on getting the unavailable man to want you, and then when it has a chance to become something real, you realize they are not truly what you want. Perhaps you cater more to your ego than your sense of wanting to be in a real relationship?

I have done the same. I don´t turn to hating the guy, but I just find them extremely boring when/if they finally surrender. How old are you?

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Could deffo be true, I do have a bit of an ego, being an Aries and all. I'm 24

Posted by JURR

Posted by Koniucha
What about other aspects to Venus?

Venus trine uranus
Square saturn

Square jupiter
Opposite pluto

click to expand

This aspects - seem to explain the challenging part of your romantic relationship.

First, you have Venus trine Uranus - and this aspect shows a "love for freedom" - a freedom that was still noticeable in the beginning - when you clicked with an individual on different levels and had a lot of fun - while getting to know each-other (which also puts an emphasis on spontaneity - another trait of Venus trine Uranus). But... as they started to confess their feelings - as they started to show their interest in a romantic relationship, you became aware of a caging factor - in case they expressed a strong attachment - the kind you see in relationships where people seem to be tied with a cord of each-other. You have a strong need for freedom in a relationship - you can't bare the idea of being tied down - as it's the case with some relationship. Thus - you need a partner that can understand that, a partner that accepts you as you are - without compromising expectations - that can inhibit your sense of freedom. Simply put it - someone that's more like a best friend.

Then, there's Venus square Saturn (supposedly - one of the most painful aspect - in terms of romantic relationship) - which normally, should be someone how opposite to the trine between Venus and Uranus - because it revolves around structure and long term relationships - but since it's a square - this adds a fear factor to the equation - a fear for commitment... this being challenge of this square - a challenge to understand it from experience - till you mature yourself from this point of view.

Then you have the position - which ads an obsessive nature to the way you love - and depending on strength of the orb it can also imply a lot of intensity. Even though - they're short lived - your romantic experiences can be very intense. The challenge here is to learn to accept the Plutonic nature - which would be the easier option, while the harder implies a change - a plutonic rebirth - where you learn to be more like a Scorpio in matters of love - to learn to surrender - to let go (which is the prime lesson for Scorpios).

While the square between Venus and Jupiter - might feel as if you're not getting enough love. The challenge here is to give love without expectations - cause there's love in us in abundance, no matter how much we give - we'll never run short.

@OP- Yeah I get that a lot actually VIT, Moon, and Rising is notorious for that, Damn...And all I want to do is match that attraction with the personality and it should be cool. There are just standards I have let go that I shouldn't but since I like them, I ignore it and continue wishing for a significant change.

Posted by neves

Posted by JURR

Posted by Koniucha
What about other aspects to Venus?

Venus trine uranus
Square saturn

Square jupiter
Opposite pluto

This aspects - seem to explain the challenging part of your romantic relationship.

First, you have Venus trine Uranus - and this aspect shows a "love for freedom" - a freedom that was still noticeable in the beginning - when you clicked with an individual on different levels and had a lot of fun - while getting to know each-other (which also puts an emphasis on spontaneity - another trait of Venus trine Uranus). But... as they started to confess their feelings - as they started to show their interest in a romantic relationship, you became aware of a caging factor - in case they expressed a strong attachment - the kind you see in relationships where people seem to be tied with a cord of each-other. You have a strong need for freedom in a relationship - you can't bare the idea of being tied down - as it's the case with some relationship. Thus - you need a partner that can understand that, a partner that accepts you as you are - without compromising expectations - that can inhibit your sense of freedom. Simply put it - someone that's more like a best friend.

Then, there's Venus square Saturn (supposedly - one of the most painful aspect - in terms of romantic relationship) - which normally, should be someone how opposite to the trine between Venus and Uranus - because it revolves around structure and long term relationships - but since it's a square - this adds a fear factor to the equation - a fear for commitment... this being challenge of this square - a challenge to understand it from experience - till you mature yourself from this point of view.

Then you have the position - which ads an obsessive nature to the way you love - and depending on strength of the orb it can also imply a lot of intensity. Even though - they're short lived - your romantic experiences can be very intense. The challenge here is to learn to accept the Plutonic nature - which would be the easier option, while the harder implies a change - a plutonic rebirth - where you learn to be more like a Scorpio in matters of love - to learn to surrender - to let go (which is the prime lesson for Scorpios).

While the square between Venus and Jupiter - might feel as if you're not getting enough love. The challenge here is to give love without expectations - cause there's love in us in abundance, no matter how much we give - we'll never run short.

click to expand

Hmmm, thanks a lot for that, very interesting.