Sag & Ex

Do Sags generally are nice to their ex, or just my sag?

This sag I'm in relationship with is very generous to his exes and keep in touch with them. One of them is the very clingy type, because she clearly still likes him. He helps her ups and downs and when they were together he had made some commitments to her, which now he finds himself trapped by. I'm fine if both are emotionally obsolete towards each other, but I'm not fine that he still needs to defend her when I asked him point blank about this: "do you still love her?"

I don't mind my boyfriend has a big heart, generous and kind. If he still loves her as friends I'm all for it. But him spending his time listening to her is what I don't understand. I handle my emotional issues decisively (exactly because of the complexities they can bring). But for him, who's a trouble magnet (factual on paper) already, he likes to solve the unsolvable - even though he had given up on it previously, numerous times. It's like his little rubik's cube.

Is it a typical sag thing? Isn't it a sag trait to stand their grounds when facing emotional issues?

Because this is not the case of my mother, who's a sag herself. She cuts off all her exes although she still very much love one of them. It KILLS her inside, but she stands her ground. Understand my agony because I'm sure he loves me because I'm a Virgo - I'm efficient with handling my emotional issues, or any issues in general. So it's unsettling for a Virgo to watch their loved one plays with fire while knowing that they will get injured.

It all depends on the severity of the break up. Not all Sagg break ups were cruel, brutal or harsh. Some of them were actually done on mutual or peaceful terms. It's alot harder for most people to maintain some level of respect and maybe even loyalty towards someone they broke up with on peaceful/mutual terms.

If I were you, I'd sit your man down & tell him up front that the relations he's continually taking on with his ex are NOT ok. He needs to give himself some credit. It's not like he'll stop being a good person with a generous heart all b/c he decides to leave those ex's alone & focus more on you. While it's honorable & all that he wants to fight all of their battles, it's starting to come b/w you 2. So he needs to realize that they're ex's for a reason & that if you mean more to him than they do, he better be investing all the energy he puts into keeping their lives afloat, & investing that same amount of commitment/dedication to YOU & your relationship. A new relationship should never suffer or be put on pause or spark doubts all b/c of an old, played out relationship.

Him being over his ex is a good thing, BUT if his ex isn't over him, it's almost as if they were both still on eachother. BOTH people have to be emotionally detached from eachother, or else 1 person will always have the power to manipulate or wheel back in the other. And I'm sure half the reason his ex is still bringing him into all her drama is b/c he allows her too.

His ex could just as easily find someone else to vent all her problems too. Trust me, she'll live.

Make him understand that you're not asking him to hate his ex's or be mean to them. There's a fine line b/w being a platonic friend to someone vs. still deciding to entertain a slight emotional attachment all b/c the person is your ex. In other words, if his rationale for being there for her centers on the fact that she's his ex (vs. her just being a person or human being in general that he'd like to help out) that means that he's not yet over her.

I'll tell you this...if his ex's are doing this as their way of making sure they still have some piece of him still in their lives, know that if their intention is to ever manipulate him in any way, they've got him right where they want him! A man fighting the battle of a vulnerable woman can become just as vulnerable himself.

im loyal to my exes....all of em. but its not the same kind of loyalty i had with them inside the relationship


if the Sag loves you, then you dont have to worry about that other girl (what sign is she by the way?)

be the woman that he needs and you will be fine. virgos tend to get neurotic but you dont have to worry. as long as you keep doing what your doing....you will be fine.

going from lovers to friends is easy for a sag.

hes not playing with fire....dont go crazy on us virgo

Posted by DMV
going from lovers to friends is easy for a sag.

hes not playing with fire....dont go crazy on us virgo

It's my inner struggle. I don't really talk to him about it because I know I can trust him. And I find it unnecessary to sit down and have a chat with him about it because when we first went out, he reassured me about his break ups and I trust him. It's more of a concern whether he knows what he's doing. He's done it several times, trying to work on something I'd never do again personally, stumbled and picked himself up again. He'd tell me about his disappointments and perhaps as a virgo, my initial reaction was to help him, somehow, someway. He knows this and it comforts him. But I'm a bit restless with the fact that being there is enough.

From my previous relationships (most of them are sags), I learn to share and let them free. I expect the same in return. Works for me!

Hi,

Sag is a very friendly sign. As they aren't a fixed sign they find change easy and can easily change from lovers to friends. Other signs find that a lot harder. If you can be great - approve of his friendship to his ex and see the nice thing about that. Sag loves to help anywhere they can and generally make very good friends. I know it's hard but if you love your sag you need to let him be free to chose his friends, be it men or women. He will reward you for that and you will be a very happy woman!

Posted by DMV
im loyal to my exes....all of em. but its not the same kind of loyalty i had with them inside the relationship

I agree with this.

I've stayed on good terms with all of them except one, a virgo/libra cusper. It's mostly on his end that we're not cool though. I could really give a fuck either way...he's the one that will not let it go.
I'm not saying we had a positive break up though, so whatever, I understand.


There are a couple exes I'm good friends with, we talk frequently and everything is cool. I'm supportive of them and their new relationships, careers, etc.

But there are a couple that aren't as cool with "being friends" as I am. I mean we are on good terms, but it's not like speak or anything. If we bump into each other we're nice - we're not bad mouthing each other if our names come up in conversations, etc....but there's really not much contact besides that.

I never contact an ex in hopes of getting back together (I have too much pride for that) but I will contact them if I just miss them or want to see how they're doing. I have ended up getting back together with an ex more than once...but it wasn't something I pursued, just something I kind of fell into because I was open to it at the time.


Hope this helps?

I look at it like this: I cared about these people while they were in my life/while we were dating...why would that change now because our lives went in different directions?

I feel this way about everyone in my life honestly. Even ex-friends who have wronged me.
I'm over it rather quickly, and I wish them the best. Truthfully. I just decided at some point along the way they weren't going to hold the same place in my life anymore.

I'd be there for basically every single one of them if they really needed me. They all know this. 🙂

Posted by leoowoman
Hi,

Sag is a very friendly sign. As they aren't a fixed sign they find change easy and can easily change from lovers to friends. Other signs find that a lot harder. If you can be great - approve of his friendship to his ex and see the nice thing about that. Sag loves to help anywhere they can and generally make very good friends. I know it's hard but if you love your sag you need to let him be free to chose his friends, be it men or women. He will reward you for that and you will be a very happy woman!

Exactly