Should I forget him...

Hey guys,

I'm new here but I have been reading different topics on here for a little while. I'm gonna give the short version to my issue... So I am married and my husband and I have decided to part ways. He has found a new place and now we are just waiting on our current lease to end before we start dividing things up ( we are trying to be adults about the situation). Anyways, I'm a capricorn and about 3 months ago I met a "scorpio" male and we hit it off well. We started seeing each other quietly and everything was going good and then slowly I have noticed that if he sees me 1 day, he won't call or anything for at least a week. I usto send a text every few days when I didn't hear from him but I getting annoyed and fed up with that. I don't think i should have to be the 1 chacing him. So my question is... should I just forget about him and move on because his actions seem like he is not that interested or should I at least talk to him and find out what his deal is? We have never had the conversation about being in a relationship so in my mind I'm thinking that "he" just considers me a"Booty Call" and that's not what I want or who I want to be to him... What do you guys think?

Reading from you thread alone, and mind you you must realize how limited it is since you posted the short version (though I'm sure you can fill in more as we go 🙂 ).

It seems like you have your answer. Only you know you best. Trust your intuition. And right now its telling you that you're just a "booty call." You feel it don't you? That, that is all the relationship is too him? I mean he calls you once and leaves a week in between before he calls you again.

If it looks like a duck, if it quacks like a duck... honey, it's a duck.

Believe what your intuition is telling you, it's usually right.

Priory baby, let me start off by saying that I feel your pain. I'm sorry that you and your husband split, I'm sure it wasn't easy for you. Second of all, does this guy know that you're married? If yes, then you're definitely a 'booty call' to him. The reason I'm so sure is because if he knows that you're married, then he knows you're not ready jump into a serious relationship (because you're not over your husband yet) so he's taking advantage of that and using the situation to his advantage and playing with your emotions. He knows that even if he leaves you or hurts you you won't hold him accountable, because you'll blame yourself for the pain. So just don't give into temptation, and stay away from him. Clear your head, and deal with your emotions first before getting involved with someone. If you want him as a friend with benefits then stay with the guy you just met, otherwise, let things go, pull yourself together first then go chasing after guys.

From reading other posts on here that seems to be a typical Scorp thing to do....disappear that is. My question for you is, what do you want from this guy? You said you didn't want to be his FWB but you aren't even divorced yet so I'm assuming you haven't been split from your husband for too very long & he may think that your just doing the rebound thing & not taking your "relationship" very serious because of that. Don't you think it would be beneficial for you & any future relationships that you have to spend some time alone & even date a variety of people before jumping into anything serious? I know that your accustomed to being partnered with someone else but it's a good idea to heal from your last relationship before starting a new one. 🙂

"I don't think i should have to be the 1 chacing him."

there's ur answer, priorybaby.

Well one, b/c you are still techincally married & can only give him so much of your time, body & energy, he knew up front that he probably couldn't count on you 2 establishing something until you finished what you started from your husband. And 2, he might be married too & might be disappearing from you due to his fear of his partner, girlfriend or wife finding out & him losing it all.

I think you have the answer to your own question. You are in a bad relationship & are very vulnerable & need a way out. The problem with married women seeking outside relationships/sexual encounters (other than the person they're STILL married to) is that they often don't realize how vulnerable, emotional or too giving of themselves to others they can be. He probably picked up on the fact that you were very vulnerable & willing to give him all of your time & energy w/o any chase (from his part) required. And once he made up his mind that you were too easy of a task & that he could get all of the "benefits" w/o the title being there first, it's no wonder this guy can come in & out of your life like it's not a problem. He's doing this b/c he's showing you that he has no real respect for your emotions or for fulfilling your needs & this though alone should answer your question.

From a moral standpoint, you need to leave him & any other man alone. If you want a divorce, fine but finish what you started with your husband b/c what you don't realize is that when you are in a bad relationship & chose to step outside of that relationship, you're not being your usual self as you normally would be had you not been married. Your standards aren't as high b/c you just want "something" & usually anything that's atleast better than what you already have. You'll never be able to fully give him or any other man your heart & true time & energy b/c your heart is not completely pure or healed b/c of all the conflict you've got going on with your husband (thus this makes trying to find love again pointless).

You know something, I came to that decision just a few hrs before writing this ( i didnt see that some of you had replied to my issue). Alot has happened since my first post and I must say that I feel I should be single right now n be comfortable with that!! Although my husband is still trying to "save" our relationship, it has just become impossible to look at him the same way and I am over him, us, and being in this relationship (long story). I think I just really need my space!! Since my post I did speak to scorpio again and I told him how I felt about not hearing from him and I can say that he has made a effert to keep intouch, however I feel how you guys feel... he wont take me seriously because I still have unresolved issues. To support this, I give you the following... We have been talking since Feb and he has yet to take me on a date to the movies or anything, yes we have seen each other at parties n such but nothing special like how 2 ppl r suppose too (once out to eat) and I think thats just treetrunk!!!! I have given him hints and even came right out with it when we had the "talk" about him keeping intouch and still nothing. So if he can't even spend $ 40.00 to take out to a movie then what the hell am I doing with him— Hell I can take myself out or even take up offers from others wanting to do it!! I'm not someone who has a problem being alone so he can gooooooooo lol.. Plus he just got out a relationship as well so i think its safe to say that we were both doing the "rebound thing!!" Its all good thou cause the holiday is here and i think this is a great time to be "single". So we will see if he will try to get back but as for me... I'm good n focus on going thru with my divorce n a better future!!! thank u all for you honestly... it means the world!!!!

Well good luck to you. I'm glad that you finally came to the realization that this guy was never going to fully be all you needed him to be partly b/c you yourself are not where you want to be. Whatever your husband isn't giving to you, you were seeking that in a complete stranger. And b/c you yearned for what you were lacking so bad, the Scorpio never really had a chance b/c your patience was wearing thin.

And besides, let's just say this Scorpio guy was taking you out & buying you expensive things. Are you sure that would really fill the void? Are you sure all the material things would make you happy or erase all the pain your husband caused. By sleeping with or attaching to other men, you're naturally making the other men pay for the things your husband should really be held accountable for. And single men (and married men who are stepping out too) can always pick up on this. Did you want his money, his sex and his company or did you actually want him as a person, regardless of how much money he spent on you? I think we both know the answer to that one.

Besides, let's just say that the Scorpio did everything right. You still having emotionally unfinished business with your husband could/would only mess up the chances of you & the Scorpio ending up together anyways. Just like you expected for him to show you more time, dates & more gifts, he as a Scorpio can never really get serious with someone who is still emotionally and/or physically still attached to someone else, regardless of how much you promise you're ready to leave that relationship. But if the sex is good, they'll stay. But when it's time for the "commitment" conversation, they'll always fall short. So the best thing to do is to just be single. Find yourself and have the time of your life with YOURSELF FIRST!

He doesn't want to be the divorce REBOUND...he will be and he knows it.


Hahahaha you have it all wrong honey. Men dont think like that. What man have you ever hear say "I dont want to be the rebound" Men dont care about that! Rebound is guranteed ass. Now he might say "You just recently got out of a relationship? Thats too bad, come on in and take your clothes off and get comfortable"

This Scop guy doesnt give too shits if she's married, divorced, single -whatever. He gets what he wants when he wants it and in between he's out. Plain and simple. If he wanted more, she would not be "new to the board" asking questions because he would be up her ass so she'd never have to wonder.

Well I think what they were trying to say is that if a Scorp was seriously considering a woman as his companion, her status with someone else would be a VERY important factor in that. BUT, obviously this guy isn't trying to become anything serious, so she's right, he could care less who you're married to or what's really pissing you off behind closed doors. All he cares about is whatever you're willing to give to him w/o him having to work for it. As far as he's concerned, your husband already paid the tab for the benefits the Scorp is getting. And trust me, he knows this & YOU also know this, & to an extent, can you blame him?

If this Scorp really wanted you for himself (for love & commitment) he wouldn't allow himself to entertain commiting to you b/c he would have no power or control over your mind & would always be insecure about where your heart really was. Scorps in general aren't ones to SHARE somebody else (even if you are legally divorced) b/c of the insecurities & uncertainty that comes with that territory. But of course this only applies if the Scorp actually wants you for all the right reasons, versus for all the wrong. And in this case, It's quite obvious, he wants you for all the wrong.

Like any other man, he's not going to stop taking advantage of you unless YOU make it all stop.