Cancerlady625
@nsm625
11 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 116 · Topics: 7
Social Network site a problem for budding relationship
@OP- And you signed up for FB to catch him in something because he hasn't been honest with you while you are together. There's that gut feeling you should listen to if there's been doubts from the jump.
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
@OP- And you signed up for FB to catch him in something because he hasn't been honest with you while you are together. There's that gut feeling you should listen to if there's been doubts from the jump.
No actually I signed up for fb because my friends & him encouraged me to get my own fb because sometimes I used my friends fb lol. I appreciate the advice but no I really did sign up for fb for my own enjoyment a little before we started dating. What do you think about the liking & comments he makes on another female page? I know other guys do this on my page & many are married and in relationships
Hm just ask him and see. Aquarius have many female friends platonic and if he is honest he will tell you the truth. Maybe he has been friends for along time with , what do you know about her? And if you are in a happy relationship you both need to have respect, communication, and trust.
See I have Aquarius moon and Cancer rising so I meet alot of people daily. But what I am saying when I am dating I stick to one person and both should express on FB you are together. No need to hide that. Having friends are healthy. And having space and independence is good too since Aquarius, not to cling so much.
Damn I want someone to serve and cook for me too. That's nice but that can only keep me happy so long though. So have conversations, get to know each other better, have GOOD food, and great sex soon after. Repeat.
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Hm just ask him and see. Aquarius have many female friends platonic and if he is honest he will tell you the truth. Maybe he has been friends for along time with , what do you know about her? And if you are in a happy relationship you both need to have respect, communication, and trust.
I agree we must have the 3 things in any healthy relationship & at this stage we are working on building all of those things but now is a learning stage and getting to know one another. I don't ask because I don't want to seem like Im clingy & stalking his interactions even though he always tells me about anything or any comments that come up on my page from other guys lol.
Posted by tiziani
Treats you well, spends all night being attentive, serves you and cooks for you.
I would just stop checking their facebook. Less problems, good life.
I do love all of those things trust me lol but with him being sometimes aloof when we are not together & then the fb thing it does make me feel some type of way sometimes. So you don't think there is a problem with him commenting on her posts & do you think he could be trying to get a rise out me because he did something like this before & I feel for it & told him about it & he said I did it because I knew you would say something about something this stipid but I can go 3-4 days without saying anything to him. I'am a cancer woman but I can cut people of at times & need my space also lol
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
See I have Aquarius moon and Cancer rising so I meet alot of people daily. But what I am saying when I am dating I stick to one person and both should express on FB you are together. No need to hide that. Having friends are healthy. And having space and independence is good too since Aquarius, not to cling so much.
See this is exactly what I told him about letting people know about us etc & he said he prefer to keep his business off social media bla bla bla crap. So it kind of made me wonder if he is trying to hide he is dating me etc. I put a comment on his fb page that said" I know my boo is sexy" & one of his female friends said " Oooh bff you are a boo?" and he said "Looks like It"..so my thing is he is saying but not saying we are together.
Posted by tizianiPosted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428The less people that know about your relationship the better imo. There's no need to advertise or to hide. Both take effort that could have been focused on just building the relationship itself.
See I have Aquarius moon and Cancer rising so I meet alot of people daily. But what I am saying when I am dating I stick to one person and both should express on FB you are together. No need to hide that. Having friends are healthy. And having space and independence is good too since Aquarius, not to cling so much.click to expand
Can I ask if you are a female or a male? I thank you for your input and he said the same thing you are saying here about less people in his business. Can I ask why you think it would be better to not announce you are with someone that you are into versus not in your opinion? Trust I give him space because we live 45-50 minutes away from each other & he is very busy with work & so am I so we don't have a lot of time right now to hang out as often as we would like. I don't cling to him or him to me but Im confused by his need to always be posting something on this females page like he thirsty for her attention
Posted by tiziani
As for socialising with other men or women, yes why not. If it's not taking away from the quality time that you both have together to care for one another then let them have their space to do their thing.
The point here is I don't mind him having his me time and space which I give him but when he has time to comment & post on this female page but can't text me all day to say hi besides this morning we texted each other in which I texted first to let him know I made it home safe from his house. That's what becomes the problem to me but I do see your point and appreciate the advice etc
Posted by tizianiPosted by nsm625I look at it like this: if him being aloof is an issue in your relationship, do you think him stopping himself from socialising with this other woman is going to change his aloof demeanour towards you? Likely not. You'll likely end up with a partner who has one less woman in their life and yet still aloof.Posted by tiziani
Treats you well, spends all night being attentive, serves you and cooks for you.
I would just stop checking their facebook. Less problems, good life.
I do love all of those things trust me lol but with him being sometimes aloof when we are not together & then the fb thing it does make me feel some type of way sometimes. So you don't think there is a problem with him commenting on her posts & do you think he could be trying to get a rise out me because he did something like this before & I feel for it & told him about it & he said I did it because I knew you would say something about something this stipid but I can go 3-4 days without saying anything to him. I'am a cancer woman but I can cut people of at times & need my space also lol
So I would take the time to confront issues in your own relationship where you both show yourselves as willing to adjust for middle ground rather than looking for outside people to blame as a distraction. That's my view. If something is bothering you in your own relationship you have every right to speak on it with your partner, just make sure that you actually do.click to expand
I agree with this but sometimes saying something like this can come off as being clingy & like Im watching his every moment which in truth im not I have really cut back lol..Ok ok Im still a work in progress but Im better then I was :-)
Posted by tizianiPosted by nsm625I'm a man. I just think people, even well intentioned people, have a way of getting involved that can create unnecessary issues. It's distracting imo. I wouldn't go out of my way to hide my relationship but I wouldn't go out of my way to announce it to anyone either. It's just energy best invested elsewhere in my book.Posted by tizianiPosted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428The less people that know about your relationship the better imo. There's no need to advertise or to hide. Both take effort that could have been focused on just building the relationship itself.
See I have Aquarius moon and Cancer rising so I meet alot of people daily. But what I am saying when I am dating I stick to one person and both should express on FB you are together. No need to hide that. Having friends are healthy. And having space and independence is good too since Aquarius, not to cling so much.
Can I ask if you are a female or a male? I thank you for your input and he said the same thing you are saying here about less people in his business. Can I ask why you think it would be better to not announce you are with someone that you are into versus not in your opinion? Trust I give him space because we live 45-50 minutes away from each other & he is very busy with work & so am I so we don't have a lot of time right now to hang out as often as we would like. I don't cling to him or him to me but Im confused by his need to always be posting something on this females page like he thirsty for her attention
It's likely he just finds something about her attractive. If it becomes an issue where it takes away from your quality time together then it becomes an issue but if it doesn't affect his behaviour towards you then I think it's best to give your partner that freedom.click to expand
Ok great & Its always helpful to hear a mans perspective on these situations(still appreciate all the women input also). Sounds like sound advice here, so you are saying he may just find something attractive about her but don't mean he want to be with her? Last question. I put a comment on his fb page that said" I know my boo is sexy" & one of his female friends said " Oooh bff you are a boo?" and he said "Looks like It"..so my thing is he is saying but not saying we are together? Is this maybe his way of admitting to having someone without giving a big admission?
Your creating a problem that doesn't exist. Get off his Facebook page. Stop playing detective and start communicating to him what you want via positive reinforcement.
You want him to text you more? Tell him. Want him to spend more time with you? Tell him.
And then perhaps give him the opportunity to express what he wants.
You want him to text you more? Tell him. Want him to spend more time with you? Tell him.
And then perhaps give him the opportunity to express what he wants.
Posted by tiziani
Lol I don't think you have to worry about coming off as clingy. When someone really cares, they will listen. Maybe I am idealistic but I'd just tell him how you feel about not talking all day and that you'd like to talk more. This woman is irrelevant compared to his willingness to listen to you and adapt, and vice versa. But yeah that's just how I see it. Good luck.
Ok I will maybe give this a shot & hope I can say it in a way to not sound demanding or like Im trying to control him :-)
Posted by LadyNeptune
Your creating a problem that doesn't exist. Get off his Facebook page. Stop playing detective and start communicating to him what you want via positive reinforcement.
You want him to text you more? Tell him. Want him to spend more time with you? Tell him.
And then perhaps give him the opportunity to express what he wants.
I agee I need to stop being passive aggressive & express my needs in a positive way. Thank you for your input & advice :-) Very much appreciated
Posted by tizianiTiz is right. Spend less time worrying about how other people may or may not view your relationship. And get back to building said relationship. It hasn't even been 3 months...Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428The less people that know about your relationship the better imo. There's no need to advertise or to hide. Both take effort that could have been focused on just building the relationship itself.
See I have Aquarius moon and Cancer rising so I meet alot of people daily. But what I am saying when I am dating I stick to one person and both should express on FB you are together. No need to hide that. Having friends are healthy. And having space and independence is good too since Aquarius, not to cling so much.click to expand
Posted by tiziani
Why do you look at him being with you as an "admission"? It sounds like you've decided he's trying to hide being with you either way. I think you may be complicating something that could be far simpler by just talking with him face to face
I see what your saying & I guess I was wondering why he didn't just say yes to the comment so I guess that's the reason. I'am complicating things & tend to self sabotage relationships sometimes
;-(. I think I will just have a convo with him about wanting to talk more & spend more time together & go from there and again thank you for your advice
@OP- See I know you already care, and you're showing him through actions. He's showing through words and you have to meet in the middle. What's your moon and Venus?
Which is why I emphasize on friendship and space. I know this isn't what you want to hear. But take your time and build a foundation. You say you are together then you are. Telling you now doubts are issues and you have to communicate. But no emotions..
You can eat your cake in piece of mind. That you must not get attached too much soo early.
Which is why I emphasize on friendship and space. I know this isn't what you want to hear. But take your time and build a foundation. You say you are together then you are. Telling you now doubts are issues and you have to communicate. But no emotions..
You can eat your cake in piece of mind. That you must not get attached too much soo early.
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
@OP- See I know you already care, and you're showing him through actions. He's showing through words and you have to meet in the middle. What's your moon and Venus?
Which is why I emphasize on friendship and space. I know this isn't what you want to hear. But take your time and build a foundation. You say you are together then you are. Telling you now doubts are issues and you have to communicate. But no emotions..
You can eat your cake in piece of mind. That you must not get attached too much soo early.
You are correct yes I do care for him deeply but yet we have both agreed & me more so on being friends first & building a foundation. Space is not a problem with us because he is a very busy person as well as myself. A little background-Even though I officially started seeing/dating him 2 1/2 I originally met him & went out with him around the beginning of last year & then I kind of broke it off with him last May because I was still emotionally involved with a ex but we continued to stay in touch with each other ever since we broke it off in May of last year. so we really have over 9 months of knowing each other under our belt lol...You are very correct because doubts can be issues but my problem is I have a hard time communicating with him without him taking it as a argument or me blaming him. Do you have any suggestions on how to bring this up in a non argumentative way? My Moon is In Virgo and my Venus is in Taurus and I'm an ascendant of Aquarius.
@OP- I have VIT with Taurus as a sun. So I am fixed on many things about the way I need to be treated in a friendship. Or a relationship. First off what type of argument have you had before?
How did you handle it
@OP- What if that woman was after you while you were breaking up because you weren't over your ex quite yet.
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
@OP- I have VIT with Taurus as a sun. So I am fixed on many things about the way I need to be treated in a friendship. Or a relationship. First off what type of argument have you had before?
I say argument but it was more of a couple heated debates lol..1 was about fb in which we agreed to not say anything on each others page & the other was a misunderstanding on something he had said to me. The funny thing is after the debate he told me word for word"Thats what I love about you that you like to argue then he said debate with me lol. Since then we have not had any major disagreements on anything but I do try to communicate with him my feelings or outlook on things & he will say uuugh here we go but he will listen.
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
@OP- What if that woman was after you while you were breaking up because you weren't over your ex quite yet.
I'm not sure I understand what you mean if the woman was after me?
Haha the oh we need to talk conversations. Hehe. Lol well you both didn't do what you guys said. You both are on fb pages. So there should be no debating. Just go with the flow and trust each other better.
Second justification and validation is a must have for me. So him saying that suggests beware of over thinking everything and when a situations arises , just be honest and be like hey I have been wondering about something and I need a better understanding about whatever your guys situation is at hand. If he says they're just friends then trust that. And let it be.
Second justification and validation is a must have for me. So him saying that suggests beware of over thinking everything and when a situations arises , just be honest and be like hey I have been wondering about something and I need a better understanding about whatever your guys situation is at hand. If he says they're just friends then trust that. And let it be.
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