Taurus Man Changed His mind.. looking for input

I am deeply heartbroken. I have been dating my bull for 7 months now and everything has been perfect. He used to tell me that he would always be there for me and never leave, and that he would stick to my side through anything. This means a lot to me since i recently was diagnosed with synovial sarcoma, a type of cancer.. and had to go through radiation treatments n such. He knows how much his support means to me. Anyway, he said a lot of things that made me trust him. one night while he was drunk, almost told me he loved me, but stopped because he said i deserve better. He had been writing in these " journals" he said for me that he would eventually give me when the time was right that im positive he would tell me he loved me. Anyways, i can emphasize enough, we both were so happy together and spoke of it openly.

The last 3 weeks though, he has been super depressed and hes unsure why. He told me he doesn't want to be in Pittsburgh anymore and needs to get out. We had made plans to move together and travel once i had a year in at my job ( tihs coming decemeber) and had a year of clear scans ( have to stay a little for health insurance) ...So anyway, 2 days ago.. he tells me that hes moving to Mississippi ( his moms house) for 6 months to a year. His mother is going to Afghanistan in aug so he wanted to see her while she was home and he was going to leave in june.. im totally fine with that.. but he wants to stay down there and watch her house..for a year! and he basically made this decision without even consulting me. He told me he doesn't know who he is anymore. he seeks no pleasure in anything he does and he feels he needs to do this. which makes me feel inadequate because i no longer make him happy. I asked him what was in Mississipi and he said nothin really.. its just the concept of having no plans.. he is very vague when he talks about the " whys" he is leaving, but he told me he was uncertain of us and uncertain of everything. That its not just me, its his whole idea of himself, and he can't be there for me because he doesn't have his head on straight. I am heartbroken. i feel completely abandoned during these hard times for me, and completely lead on that we were a team. And hes a taurus so i know he wont change his mind. So right now its awkward. i dont know how to act because he isn't leaving for for 2 1/2 months. I need some input on this situation please. I feel completely lost.

oh and i also told him i loved him and he didn't say it back

Sounds as if the only thing u can do is back off. Taurus is know 2 dig n their heels when pushed or feel threatened. They also r possesive. A taurus guy friend of mind told me whats his is his and noone elses and noone better even think of taking it away. He also keeps everything 2 himself. Feelings, secrets etc. Most likely if u back off he will feel like he is ~losing one of his possesions~ and come back 2 u and want 2 talk more about his thots and what his plans r. He is probably trying 2 figure out the best thing 4 u both. I do have a few questions. How old r u both? And has he mentioned anything at all about u going with him?

I am 23, out of college and working a teaching job, hes 22 doing a graphic design job he plans on leaving in june. yes he mentioned me going with him, i told him i would if he would wait until December where i could get a year in at my job and have enough time to feel confident leaving health insurance before i try finding another job in this shit economy. he said he can't wait for me, he needs to do this now. he admitted it was a selfish move but said he has no choice.he can't give me what i need when he doesn't feel happy. he said its not my fault hes unhappy he just feels this weird spiritual pull to go there. The "C" word shouldn't of scared him because i met him the day before i found out, and knew he was dating me on those terms the last 6-7 months, hes confident i'll be okay. he told me he was no longer certain of us or anything, so what would be the point to go to Mississippi and change all my plans for someone capable of leaving me when i need them most and being so uncertain?

ughn.. i do love him and just wish he would change his mind.. but a taurus who changes his mind is unheard of.

Back off and give him a week or 2. U have enuf on ur plate as it is. That should b enuf time 4 u both 2 c where things r going and what is best 4 u. N the meantime b with friends and talk family. And try ur best 2 move on at this point. 2 1/2 months is a lot of time and u never knw what can happen. And u r right 7 months is not a long enuf time 2 uproot ur life when things r so uncertain between u 2. Figure out what u want and need at this point n ur life and he either adds 2 those things or he doesnt. But u will b ok.

well i've been backing off. he'll send me texts and i dont respond... he sent me this email this morning

"good morning.
im sorry for my distance. i really just want to lock myself away and im trying really hard not to do that with everyone.
its not just you. again im sorry. like ive said before its no reflection of you or anything. i know its not fair to you and im bein a jerk. im not trying to be. honestly. im gonna try harder to open up a little bit. not only to you but to everyone else. but i also find it hard. all i want to do is just close myself off to get shit worked out. ughhh. this is so frustrating. im sorry i keep hurting you over and over.
this isnt ideal at all. i dont want you to hurt.
well...i hope you have a good day and youre doing well. "

and i just wrote back... i hope you feel better.

then he texted me again later to give me this music website i always used to ask about, but i didn't respond. im distancing myself for him and for me. i can only hope that he realizes his loss.

eh he just called me to see " how i was doing" but said he still feels the same way. WHY BOTHER?

yeah- we talked. i told him im torn on what to do, i told him that i love him, and if he really is this depressed i want to be here to help him and try to get him out of this rut.. but at the same time.. he also isn't sure or 100% about me and i just wanna say fuck off and get over him and drop communication for awhile. He wouldn't give me a straight answer that he defiantly would never see us working out.. so hes being iffy about me.. but not just me.. everything.. so i dont know if this is really no reflection of me.. and just his depression as a whole.. because we were so happy, and he admits we were so happy together and that i did nothing wrong.

But another thing, in the beginning he wanted me to go to Mississipi with him, and i asked him.. do you really want me to go? and he slike well i thought thats what i wanted at first.. but now i think it might not be in your benefit.. because things may get worse.. and im not sure if i'm even doing the right thing.

i dont know what to do anymore. i want to be supportive-yet i want to save myself.

Save yourself first...that's more important in your condition. You are going to be going through alot with just keeping this sickness in check, even though you have come through the hardest parts, it is still ongoing doctors appointments and checkups. You will need all your positive energys on getting and remaining cancer free.

He has another illness and unless he wants your help only he can sort through this. Leave him to sort this out for himself as it could drain you and now's certainly not the time for that!

It's sad that you have to suffer through heartache at a time like this but you yourself will know now that being sick and going through what you have had to go through can really put things into perspective. Family becomes more important and people that offer unconditional love & kindness.