Victim of Scorpio man?

I met this Scorpio man last summer after just making intense eye contact and smiling for 2 months. We went on 1 date, told him about my son and how my ex still lived with me. We talked for about a week then he told me it was too awkward. A couple months later he texted me all apologetic and that he regretted letting me go. Talked for a few days and yup, you guessed it, he suddenly disappeared on me leaving me so confused. 5 months go by and I get a text from him...I seriously thought I was seeing things, read the message a couple times and yes it really was him. He told me his "sob" story of how some horrible things happened to him and it messed with his head...and he wasn't hiding from me, and all those months he washday couldn't get me out of his head and we never even kissed..his words " must mean something". I told him that I was kind of in a relationship (not a physical relationship) but its not secure and is very unstable. He said he was fine with that. So for the past month we have been talking and have only hung out 3 times. We kissed each time and told me he gets so nervous when he kisses me. We both felt the strong connection. He's been supposedly busy and had a medical issue he needed to get taken care of. I told him that there isn't anything between me and my ex and hasn't been in a long time. He said he wishes we could just hang out and be like normal people dating. And if he wanted me to stay over it would probably cause some kind of trouble for me (I'm guessing because of my son and not having a babysitter) then asked if he could call me a little later. I told him I was busy right then so to text me when he can talk and I'll call him back. He never called, didnt answer my call..and this was 4 days ago. Am I not seeing something here? Why would he come back into my life, get a little bit closer to me, then just ignore me and disappear again...after saying he wouldn't ever do that to me again and was so sorry for hurting me before.
Any advice would be so helpful. I've been fixated on him since I layed eyes on him and this in and out of my life thing has been going on for 9 months. I'm at a loss of what to even think.

9 months is too long to go through so much for NOTHING. Sounds like he's doing pick up artist techniques on you. The intense staring is also a part of PUA tactics to create a strong powerful bond that can't be broken easily. If you're not familiar with PUA I suggest you get familiar with it because so many men are doing this immoral crap to women but for the most part, he's unstable, unreliable and unavailable.

+1 Scorpiorabbit

It's not that I don't want believe you and I don't want to make excuses for him but he did tell me before he stopped answering my calls that he had a lot of things stressing him out, too personal to say on here. Maybe I should just accept the fact that he really isn't that into me and is just trying to create this web to trap me in? He knows I like him but hasn't been all that reciprocal with me.

Posted by Amethyst08
I met this Scorpio man last summer after just making intense eye contact and smiling for 2 months. We went on 1 date, told him about my son and how my ex still lived with me.

^^Why it Will Never Work With a Scorpio^^

Right, I know most of it is because my ex. I just don't see why he would keep coming back

I hate it when people do what you have done here. You came in here presenting a situation from a point of view in which plants in the mind of the readers that he is doing something to you, in which you can't control or understand .... when that isn't the truth.

And then you have people responding to you, ABOUT him, as if he is the issue.

Posted by Amethyst08

I've been fixated on him since I layed eyes on him ...

.... that ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ is the only issue here. YOU are not in control of your own damn self. If you weren't fixated on him, then you wouldn't even notice he exists, no matter what he did or said.

When he contacted you again .... it was YOUR choice to respond to him, not him forcing you to, just so he could hurt you.

You're not a fucking victim for christs sake ... except to yourself and your own weakness of fixating on something.



::: shakes head :::


You're weak, and pretending it's him who's fucking with you. Are you the same Amethyst who used to come in here with this same self ignorance issue years ago?

No imnot the same amethyst, this is my first time posting. Yes I responded to him and let him back into my life and that was my decision, but what makes you think that him disappearing on me more than once is ok. I may be weak but that's something I'm trying to work at. How can you say he is not the issue?? Can you justify that?

And I was looking for advice, not to be personally attacked and feel degraded by your comment

Posted by Amethyst08
And I was looking for advice, not to be personally attacked and feel degraded by your comment

I gave you the only comment that was needed ... the fact that you call it attacked is because it's not what you wanted to hear.

I didn't make you feel degraded, you did that yourself .. I pointed it out to you.


Obviously ... you aren't capable of recognizing the difference ... so is it any wonder at all why you don't comprehend what you are currently living through?

Posted by Amethyst08

... what makes you think that him disappearing on me more than once is ok.

You're the one who thinks it's ok ... since you're the one who did it.

This basically translates to: I'm a victim of my own choosing and don't like it, so I'm going to project it out to another person and accuse them of approving of something that I don't like, so I don't have to be responsible for my own decision.

And I fully realize that you will believe that ^^ to be attacking also, because if your mind was capable of getting it ... it would have without me having to tell you.

Thank you scorpiorabbit, I would never let a man come between my son and I. And yes I do need to grow a pair haha

Yes you're right p-angel, I only reaponded to him because I wanted to give it another shot..and I am causing my own pain from this.

Never be someones emotional tampon. Good journey to you.

Posted by Scorpiorabbit

Posted by Amethyst08
No imnot the same amethyst, this is my first time posting. Yes I responded to him and let him back into my life and that was my decision, but what makes you think that him disappearing on me more than once is ok. I may be weak but that's something I'm trying to work at. How can you say he is not the issue?? Can you justify that?

What a lot of people don't realize is that it does take two to tango. We all do things that aren't too smart. Is your problem a result of things both of you have done? Probably. It happens.

But at the end of the day, it's going to be your choice whether or not you want this guy having this much power over your emotions. You admit you have a weakness. That's the first step and its a good one. Now, grow a pair and dump this guy 😉

Actually dump him and kick your freeloading ex out too 🙂

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+1

Posted by xygeneration
Didn't bother reading except for the title. Don't make yourself victim and you have to set your standards. Got my reality check.

Isnt DXP good for that

Posted by everevolvingepithet
That doesn't make him any less a man, that' just a choice?
O.P, why worry aobut things so much? It's just one man and not something to be overly concerned about?

Not to mention the back up man at home😢

Also something else noone pointed out. Her son is living with mommy and daddy...mommy is doing other men.
We wonder why some kids out there are so fucked up. DISGUSTING..

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by Amethyst08
And I was looking for advice, not to be personally attacked and feel degraded by your comment

I gave you the only comment that was needed ... the fact that you call it attacked is because it's not what you wanted to hear.

I didn't make you feel degraded, you did that yourself .. I pointed it out to you.


Obviously ... you aren't capable of recognizing the difference ... so is it any wonder at all why you don't comprehend what you are currently living through?

click to expand

Advice may be hard to stomach but that's because people seek advice but rarely want to hear the truth!

You don't even know the situation. My sons father works 3rd shift so he's not even "there" during the day. And I'm not doing other men

Posted by Amethyst08

I've been fixated on him since I layed eyes on him ...

Again, here ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ is the only issue.

If you are so fixated with a man who you allow to run in and out of your life, in that this fixation you have has altered your capability of using your brain to discern what is in your best interest .... then you can't expect anyone in here or in your real life to give you enough credit to realize what is in your child's best interest.


We don't have to know you personally to comprehend that you're so weak, that you not only can't help yourself, you don't even realize you are suppose to be helping yourself. It's an obvious assumption that the moment he gives you any signal at all, even just a glance in your direction ... that you'll lose your senses even further, even at the risk of your child.


Because that's what happens when a person is fixated, because this means obssession.


Now, if you want to have people give you credit, and present yourself as a person with good judgement

Posted by Amethyst08

My sons father works 3rd shift so he's not even "there" during the day.

AND ....


... you use that ^^^ in your defense, which is pretty much saying that the only thing you are avoiding is the child's father. To say what you did there is making the insinuation that you have opportunity to have another man around the house because the ex isn't there to mind, or even know.

When the issue isn't that the ex is present if a boyfriend is around the house ... the issue is that the CHILD is present around the house to see another man. And you have zero clue that that is what is important.

You think it's about whether the ex is there during the day ... which shows us that you aren't capable of practicing good judgement skills.

My suggestion would be to work on your priorities ... because that is a fucked up area in your life .... according to what you have written in here.

According to the title of this thread ... you think you're a victim .. when in reality, you choose what happens in your life. You're not a victim, and you aren't even capable of realizing that.

Posted by Amethyst08
No imnot the same amethyst, this is my first time posting. Yes I responded to him and let him back into my life and that was my decision, but what makes you think that him disappearing on me more than once is ok. I may be weak but that's something I'm trying to work at. How can you say he is not the issue?? Can you justify that?

Sorry, have to agree with P-Angel (about the ownership bit only). It's not okay, but you made it "okay" by not telling him his treatment was unacceptable.

Posted by Amethyst08
You don't even know the situation. My sons father works 3rd shift so he's not even "there" during the day. And I'm not doing other men

lol you dont even need to defend yourself against that one, its ridiculous. What does your dating other men other than your son's father got to do with your parenting skills? You dont get to fuck them infront of him, so I don't see why its even an issue to begin with. A child needs a happy household & doting parents to be able to function well, doesnt matter what the parents do in their PRIVATE LIFE, so long as it is not interfering with the child's wellbeing.

I'm currently staying with my ex, we're raising our kid together, but aren't a couple & my little boy is happy because he has both his parents under one roof. Both of us are okay with the setting, both of us have moved on ie. dating, etc. There's no problem with that just as long as you aren't introducing these men to your child, or let them form a bond with your child- all is well. You dont wanna confuse a child by bringing different men into the house, keep it respectful & private until the day you find one that's worth keeping. But, be sure to introduce him as 'mommy's friend' & nothing more. You dont wanna involve kids in big people's issues. Life goes on & how you choose to live yours for your son is none of anybody's business if all the people involved are happy & okay with the situation..to hell with everybody else.

Have you taken your child to see a professional? They're good at letting a child "see the light" of what is going on in a non-confusing & age appropriate way. Look into that & good luck raising your child. Oh & btw, fuck the scorp..the most important man in your life is the one you gave birth to. A man with good intentions WILL accept you & the situation as it is. All the best 🙂

Posted by Amethyst08
You don't even know the situation. My sons father works 3rd shift so he's not even "there" during the day. And I'm not doing other men

..ok. So then you are teaching your sons how to fuck around on a spouse when the spouse is at work, and that it's ok.
Let me ask, is this how your parents brought you up? If you're not doing other men, why is the Scorpio in the picture, and how many men does he make in this dysfunctional setting?

Posted by P-Angel
According to the title of this thread ... you think you're a victim .. when in reality, you choose what happens in your life. You're not a victim, and you aren't even capable of realizing that.

The only victims here are the children. PERIOD.

Posted by LetltB

Posted by Amethyst08
You don't even know the situation. My sons father works 3rd shift so he's not even "there" during the day. And I'm not doing other men

..ok. So then you are teaching your sons how to fuck around on a spouse when the spouse is at work, and that it's ok.
Let me ask, is this how your parents brought you up? If you're not doing other men, why is the Scorpio in the picture, and how many men does he make in this dysfunctional setting?

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are they still dating or just sharing living quaters? I'm sorry, but situations like this happen more often than people are aware of. And if she is NOT dating the father of her child, I dont see how its wrong for her to continue dating..you cant expect her to join a nunnery. All she needs to do is to conduct her business with dignity & respect of her son. Like I said, this kind of thing happens a lot, and someone trained in this need to be involved cause it does get tricky. And if somebody with a degree in child psychology says it's doable if both parties are respectful of each other, and have the child's best interest at heart...doesnt matter how it looks to an "untrained eye".

OP, live your life how you wanna live it, nobody here puts a smile on your child's face everyday..you do. & you do that with the situation the way it is. Just watch what/how you do things infront of him if you want him to grow up respecting you..NO STRAY MEN IN/OUT OF THE HOUSE. Tell them to go hike if they wanna form a relationship with your child cause those relationship might not last. I've had men asking to see my child, thinking that would make them look good in my book..not gonna happen! Whats wrong is when women introduce their new men as 'daddy' to the kids, its beyond moronic & damaging to the kid's psyche. You can do this! 🙂

Posted by LetltB

Posted by P-Angel
According to the title of this thread ... you think you're a victim .. when in reality, you choose what happens in your life. You're not a victim, and you aren't even capable of realizing that.

The only victims here are the children. PERIOD.

click to expand

says who? Are "the children" involved on your clientele list as a child psychologist? If the home a child lives in is a happy & nurturing one, doesnt matter who lives there with them, and what relationship they have/had. The child could be raised by apes for all that matters & it wont be 'dysfunctional' if the child is happy, healthy & not mistreated in any way.

I dont think theres anything wrong with dating while you live with your ex baby mama daddy whatever. BUT I wouldnt take you at all serious.

Posted by DMV
I dont think theres anything wrong with dating while you live with your ex baby mama daddy whatever. BUT I wouldnt take you at all serious.

Well, my point wasn't about whether it was right or wrong to date while she has a child ... my point was that when the subject was brought up, her defense of herself was bases around when the ex worked, making the insinuation that he's the one that mattered whether she could or not ... when the one who matters is the child, but, her answer didn't include the child in her consideration.

So, therefore, from where I analyze this ... it looks like her seeing of other men is only being considered as far as whether the ex is present. And isn't that curious, in of itself. Why should it matter if he is present or not?

Is he really not an ex?

Are they suppose to be trying to work through their problems?

Why would it matter what time he works, and is at home? Yet, in her own defense, she makes sure to say that he isn't home when she's trying to date another man, that he is at work - which means that is suppose to matter.

Am I the only one who finds that extremely curious?

All your valid questions, is exactly why I wouldnt date neone who had that situation. Too many variables. But I will screw you. Thats bout it.

Yes he is an ex, he actually moved out last night. And I never even brought this man to my house

Posted by WaterCup

Posted by LetltB

Posted by Amethyst08
You don't even know the situation. My sons father works 3rd shift so he's not even "there" during the day. And I'm not doing other men

..ok. So then you are teaching your sons how to fuck around on a spouse when the spouse is at work, and that it's ok.
Let me ask, is this how your parents brought you up? If you're not doing other men, why is the Scorpio in the picture, and how many men does he make in this dysfunctional setting?

are they still dating or just sharing living quaters? I'm sorry, but situations like this happen more often than people are aware of. And if she is NOT dating the father of her child, I dont see how its wrong for her to continue dating..you cant expect her to join a nunnery. All she needs to do is to conduct her business with dignity & respect of her son. Like I said, this kind of thing happens a lot, and someone trained in this need to be involved cause it does get tricky. And if somebody with a degree in child psychology says it's doable if both parties are respectful of each other, and have the child's best interest at heart...doesnt matter how it looks to an "untrained eye".

click to expand

ahh..got it..you are doing the same thing, so shoot the messenger eh? Ya missed. Whether she's spreading them in front of the kids or not, bringing kids up in A LOVELESS home is WRONG. It confuses the shit out of kids, not to mention showing them that love/affection is non-existent is also WRONG. Your ex is an ex for a REASON. This is adult matters, and the kids should not be subjected to any of this bullshit. Get a damn divorce for christ sakes. Don't have to be a shrink to know that. However, there are countless professional documentations online to do your own research on this very subject. Hell, it's even suggested you don't date until you are divorced. This living together bullshit is the LAZY and SELFISH way out. The kids come FIRST always. There's no "interest" of the child here at all, I don't give a rats ass what you say. It's dysfunctional anyway you look at it.

Posted by WaterCup

says who? Are "the children" involved on your clientele list as a child psychologist? If the home a child lives in is a happy & nurturing one, doesnt matter who lives there with them, and what relationship they have/had. The child could be raised by apes for all that matters & it wont be 'dysfunctional' if the child is happy, healthy & not mistreated in any way.

Already answered. Get a fucking clue

Posted by Amethyst08
Yes he is an ex, he actually moved out last night. And I never even brought this man to my house

Well good for you. NOW what you have to do, is put your kids first and help them adjust without him there. That takes quite a while, so get a divorce, and put your dating activities on hold until you can bring these kids stability. How old are these kids? That's a major factor too and how to handle it by age.

Posted by P-Angel


Are they suppose to be trying to work through their problems?

Why would it matter what time he works, and is at home? Yet, in her own defense, she makes sure to say that he isn't home when she's trying to date another man, that he is at work - which means that is suppose to matter.

Am I the only one who finds that extremely curious?

The only time it is suggested the parents stay under the same roof is IF they are trying to make their marriage work. Not say fuck it and go on a date.

...and to answer your question it definitely did seem curious. Mainly selfish. Hell, I'd bet my house the only reason she is now telling us he moved out last night was to bring the subject back of her being a vicim of the Scorpio.
What kids?

LetItBe, loveless home? Who said anything about 'loveless'. Does the word LOVE only applies to romantic relationships in your book? See, that's where you're dead wrong. Two people can love one another for life without being involved romantically & that's how a child learns the word love in all it's different forms. It's actually good that a child knows all different kinds of affection & not be exposed to limited info. I want to raise an open minded individual who is aware that the same thing (love) can come wrapped in a different package & its okay because it is still love by another name. I dont want my child to grow up without the love of both parents, I dont want him to grow up blaming himself for the split of his parents, but I do want him to feel loved by both his parents at the same time even if it makes me a bit uncomfortable being around the ex 7 out of 7 days. I'm happy if my child is happy & he is happy waking up every AM seeing both our faces. It may look 'whatever' to you, but I could careless because my child is content.

Posted by LetltB

Posted by WaterCup

says who? Are "the children" involved on your clientele list as a child psychologist? If the home a child lives in is a happy & nurturing one, doesnt matter who lives there with them, and what relationship they have/had. The child could be raised by apes for all that matters & it wont be 'dysfunctional' if the child is happy, healthy & not mistreated in any way.

Already answered. Get a fucking clue

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lmao, YOU get a fucking clue..you didnt need to answer that one if the reply is the same as the previous one. You dont have a PHd in child psychology, so you have no standing leg on what setting is right or wrong in raising a child besides your own narrow minded opinions. Maybe you should mug somebody of 'a clue' since you have none on what is NEEDED to raise a happy child.

Posted by WaterCup
LetItBe, loveless home? Who said anything about 'loveless'. Does the word LOVE only applies to romantic relationships in your book? See, that's where you're dead wrong. Two people can love one another for life without being involved romantically & that's how a child learns the word love in all it's different forms. It's actually good that a child knows all different kinds of affection & not be exposed to limited info. I want to raise an open minded individual who is aware that the same thing (love) can come wrapped in a different package & its okay because it is still love by another name. I dont want my child to grow up without the love of both parents, I dont want him to grow up blaming himself for the split of his parents, but I do want him to feel loved by both his parents at the same time even if it makes me a bit uncomfortable being around the ex 7 out of 7 days. I'm happy if my child is happy & he is happy waking up every AM seeing both our faces. It may look 'whatever' to you, but I could careless because my child is content.

Wow..is that how you were raised? So then let's look at the reality here. These kids then are being taught that true love, affection and not sleeping together after a marriage vow and having children is NOT what marriage is about eh? What about their potential future partner who was raised in a loving, affectionate and normal family?

Answer: Breeds more divorce just as you are teaching it, and the dysfunctional chain continues. Really, what you are doing will come back to bite you hard in the ass. I guarantee it. Your child is happy now, but when he goes to his friends house and sees a real functional marriage, be ready to explain that confusion. What are you going to say then? The functional loving/affectionate marriage is wrong? Give me a fucking break. You have your work cut out for you..both of you do.

Posted by WaterCup

lmao, YOU get a fucking clue..you didnt need to answer that one if the reply is the same as the previous one. You dont have a PHd in child psychology, so you have no standing leg on what setting is right or wrong in raising a child besides your own narrow minded opinions. Maybe you should mug somebody of 'a clue' since you have none on what is NEEDED to raise a happy child.

^^That's a defensive mode and guilt right there. It doesn't take a phd or a narrow mind sweetheart. It's common sense. You just wait and see.😉 When his future girlfriends/wife dump your son's ass due to a lack of love/affection, it's all on YOU.

...and it will be then when the clue bird shits on your shoulder...

And lmao at you telling people how they should live their own lives & double lmao at 'disfunctional'...said the CPS worker. Sorry, but you dont get to tell people anything about how they should go about their business & what you think is just an opinion, and not a verse out of the Bible. Like they say, opinions are like assholes & everybody has one, but doesnt mean its gospel.

Posted by WaterCup
And lmao at you telling people how they should live their own lives & double lmao at 'disfunctional'...said the CPS worker. Sorry, but you dont get to tell people anything about how they should go about their business & what you think is just an opinion, and not a verse out of the Bible. Like they say, opinions are like assholes & everybody has one, but doesnt mean its gospel.

I'm not telling you how to go about your business denial queen, I'm telling you what the end result will be. Big difference, and unfortunately, you will find out the damage you are doing to your son soon enugh.

P.S. This has NOTHING to do with the bible. It's about teaching children what a marriage is, what happens when a marriage fails and WHY/when you get a divorce. Not teaching denial and lying which IS last time I checked DYSFUNCTIONAL.

I haven't even started with my opinion, but I think you may have a clue on that.😉

Sorry, Watercup, I do not think it sets a good example to remain with the ex and date other people. Not that you asked. lol. I know some people who do this and I do not think it is healthy. At least in America, maybe it is different where you live, but if we are seeing the big picture, we need to consider that that is not "normal" in society and the kids are eventually going to realize that.

I have a friend whose daughter came home in tears from a sleepover when she was 8, because she found out that it was not normal that her parents do not sleep together. She had no idea that mommies and daddies sleep in the same bed. She was the only person there whose parents live in the same house and have separate rooms.

I also have a friend at work who is currently living with the ex, but everyone in her family thinks they are still married but they both have significant others outside of the relationship. I do think their child is not fooled. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for, often.

I do not understand staying together for the kids, unless both people are committed to working it out. Anything else seems dysfunctional.

My child is very happy, and he understands that there are different types of love. He understands that mommy and daddy are friends and that we each also have partners in our lives and he witnesses our loving interactions with the other people, with him also, of course, and with other family members.

to the OP: I think you really have no business dating if you are still living with the ex. I see you say he moved out, and that is good, but you should spend some time dealing with it, and learning to live on your own, before you try dating.

I did what you did, I dated before I left the house, and I really did not attract anyone who is any good. Anyone in their right mind is not going to date someone who is still living with the ex. Anyone who does think that is a good idea has something wrong with them. I speak from personal experience. True story.

Hahaha @ common sense, that's the thing..its COMMON. I dont live my life based on what is common & acceptable to the masses. I live my life based on what works for me & my immediate family. FIY, my child doesnt live under the pretense that we're together. He is well aware of what's up due to the help of his doctor, but we do things with him that other parents do with their kids except that we dont share the same bed. Btw, sharing a bed or having a romantic relationship with the mother/father of your child doesnt mean you're a good parent lmao..doesnt win you parent of the century. Dedication, doing your parental duties is what makes you an award winning mom/dad 😄

Posted by WaterCup
Hahaha @ common sense, that's the thing..its COMMON. I dont live my life based on what is common & acceptable to the masses. I live my life based on what works for me & my immediate family. FIY, my child doesnt live under the pretense that we're together. He is well aware of what's up due to the help of his doctor, but we do things with him that other parents do with their kids except that we dont share the same bed. Btw, sharing a bed or having a romantic relationship with the mother/father of your child doesnt mean you're a good parent lmao..doesnt win you parent of the century. Dedication, doing your parental duties is what makes you an award winning mom/dad 😄

Well that's good that your kid doesn't think you are together. That is how I see it here, they pretend they are still together and I think it does more harm than good.

And I agree- dedication is what makes a good parent.

Posted by LetltB

Posted by WaterCup
And lmao at you telling people how they should live their own lives & double lmao at 'disfunctional'...said the CPS worker. Sorry, but you dont get to tell people anything about how they should go about their business & what you think is just an opinion, and not a verse out of the Bible. Like they say, opinions are like assholes & everybody has one, but doesnt mean its gospel.

I'm not telling you how to go about your business denial queen, I'm telling you what the end result will be. Big difference, and unfortunately, you will find out the damage you are doing to your son soon enugh.

P.S. This has NOTHING to do with the bible. It's about teaching children what a marriage is, what happens when a marriage fails and WHY/when you get a divorce. Not teaching denial and lying which IS last time I checked DYSFUNCTIONAL.

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Ok rotflmao @ telling ME the end results. What else does your crystal ball tell you about the future? Any AIDS cure in the near future, love?

Posted by WaterCup
Hahaha @ common sense, that's the thing..its COMMON. I dont live my life based on what is common & acceptable to the masses. I live my life based on what works for me & my immediate family. FIY, my child doesnt live under the pretense that we're together. He is well aware of what's up due to the help of his doctor, but we do things with him that other parents do with their kids except that we dont share the same bed. Btw, sharing a bed or having a romantic relationship with the mother/father of your child doesnt mean you're a good parent lmao..doesnt win you parent of the century. Dedication, doing your parental duties is what makes you an award winning mom/dad 😄

Real weak job attempting to justify. It's selfish, it's dysfunctional and it's all about you. Got it, loud and clear.