Anyone else feeling jaded?

I'm not sure that jaded is the right word, but for those not in a relationship right now, do you feel less desiring of dating and/or a significant other in general?

I go through stages where I suddenly want to have everyone, and then I want no one. I am definitely in the latter stage right now.

yes Candeh15 I am going through something similar, but a little different I guess I just want to be alone if the relationship is not right.

As I am usually a relationship hopper it feels odd for me to be single but I have spent the last few months "people watching" and have found it very interesting being on the outside of relationsips looking in. And what I have seen has really made me not want to be in a relationship. Before I really wanted someone, to the point it was upsetting me, but now I have absoloutely no interest in seeing anyone, and just want to be left alone.

Watching people around me destroy eachother mind, body and soul has made me want to stay clear of the relationship game for a long time! (although saying that I will probably be creating a "is _____ and libra a good match thread soon! haha)

Posted by scorpdiva
yes Candeh15 I am going through something similar, but a little different I guess I just want to be alone if the relationship is not right.

Yeah, I'm feeling the same right now. I don't want to deal with guys unless it's like platonic or I know that the relationship will be meaningful. I'm just tired at the moment.

Man, yeah I feel you ladies. I don't wanna see anybody right now. I don't have the time or energy. I just wanna focus on myself, my ambitions & my friends. Astrologically, Saturn is in retrograde in my 5th house.

Even though I'm in a relationship, I know how you feel. People in relationships sometimes go through the "blues" too. We work so hard to actually get/find the commitment but once we're in it & once the honey-moon stages are finally over, reality hits too. I'm very happy, but I've been in relationships where I realized that I was happier single. And of course when I was single, I thought I'd be happier in a relationship. Smh.

I know how you feel though. When you take a look around & see all the people who are cheating, lying, betraying 1 another, divorcing and/or so many relationships not working out, seeing that kind of stuff DOES have an effect on each person's perception of relationships. I can understand why some people just say F love altogether.

But yet it's amazing how when we're single, we see the exact opposite. We see couples holding hands & showing sweet affection to eachother in public, couples who are in love, couples who've actually been married for longer than 5 years and/or all the things we "want" to see that persuade us to further want companionship.

Posted by amethyst2002
Same here. Except the only thing I'm missing about any of it is sex. The rest can fuck off. 🙂

Hahah yeah I'm missing the sex. Ah well, I have my fingers lol.

I think after the aqua guy, I got really disappointed. I really felt for him (we're still close) and I was ready to drop all the guys I was talking to, but once I realize it might not work out, I just didn't feel excited. I just wanted to focus on myself, in which I still do. Although, I want the sex lol.

Posted by dancer23

Posted by Candeh15

Posted by amethyst2002
Same here. Except the only thing I'm missing about any of it is sex. The rest can fuck off. 🙂

Hahah yeah I'm missing the sex. Ah well, I have my fingers lol.

I think after the aqua guy, I got really disappointed. I really felt for him (we're still close) and I was ready to drop all the guys I was talking to, but once I realize it might not work out, I just didn't feel excited. I just wanted to focus on myself, in which I still do. Although, I want the sex lol.

Oh you were w/ an Aqua too? Yep missing the sex...

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Yeah. I mean, it was short, but there was something magnetic between us; we felt like we knew each other forever. It's like after one date I knew he was all I wanted to focus on in terms of relationships and stuff. Bah. I'm still kind of hung up on him which is probably why I'm not too willing to rush into anything, and I just want to focus on myself and education and wok and whatnot. But yeah, the sex was great lol.

Posted by QuietSt0rm
Surprisingly, I can go a long time without sex. LOL The first month or two is tough, because memories of sex are still vivid in my mind, and the more that I get it, the more that I want it. I can also be rather bitchy if I haven't had it in a while.. sexual frustration does a number on my already-moody ass.

BUT, if it's been months and months or nearly a year, the memories of sex fade, so I don't think about it much anymore and can do without it.

Lol it's the same for me well. Before the aqua, I didn't have sex for nearly five months, and I was pretty okay. Then I got a taste for it again, and it's like, I craved it. I'm just dealing with it now. School is certainly keeping me busy, and this new desire to not deal with men helps too lol.

Posted by amethyst2002

Posted by QuietSt0rm
Surprisingly, I can go a long time without sex. LOL The first month or two is tough, because memories of sex are still vivid in my mind, and the more that I get it, the more that I want it. I can also be rather bitchy if I haven't had it in a while.. sexual frustration does a number on my already-moody ass.

BUT, if it's been months and months or nearly a year, the memories of sex fade, so I don't think about it much anymore and can do without it.

I'm sorta that way. It's like my sex drive goes dormant if there's nobody around to wake it up. I can deal, but I have moments where it's like OMG THIS SUCKS. 😢

Right now, I think it's a little of that, a little of stress/emotional stuff, and a little of the last few guys I've been involved with. They've indirectly done a number on me. :/ It shouldn't matter, but when you have two guys in a row make you feel like nothing/undesireable, coupled with constant impressions as being seen as a piece of ass, it's sorta blah.

Boo.

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I'm kind of feeling that way too. :/ Besides the moments of craving sex, I'm just beginning to feel like I'm in a slump. The first guy in so long to make me feel genuinely great, and it can't even happen. I feel like things are slipping through my fingers and I don't know how to hold on anymore. Worst of all, I haven't felt so good about a guy since that aqua... and knowing me... I won't get that feeling again for a while. It was just so nice. And now I just feel a little undesirable myself... blah as well.

Posted by dancer23
Well I have a confession now. I was hanging out w/ my Cap friend who I have known since we were kids. He is the perfect guy in every sense but my attraction to him fluctuates. Hes not for me really. But I was feeling down and we hung out and one thing led to another and we ended up, you know. I TRIED, but I kept thinking about the Aqua! At one point I was actually thinking, DURING THE ACT, '' dammit its not the same, its not the same!'' - and having flashbacks of the Aqua! Can you believe it? Never done anything like that, btw, sleeping w/ someone just because they are there - and never will again. Now I have to have a talk w/ the Cappy and set him straight (gently), because he is wanting to spend time w/ me and take me to high tea and museums and shit. Why is it the ones you dont want are breathing down your neck - and the one you DO want........crickets.

Omg, I was thinking about confessing something JUST like this. Like after the aqua told me he wasn't ready for anything serious, like a week later I was in such a terrible mood. I felt lonely and still disappointed. My cancer friend who I had a weird on and off thing with texted me because I promised him I'd hang out with him ( I just never got a chance too). So I went over there. I remember he leaned in to kiss me, but I barely reciprocated. We were watching a movie and cuddling and just talking. It was helping me feel better. After the movie, I was just contemplating leaving, but he pulled me in and we started making out. One thing led to another, but I just kept thinking about the aqua. I kept thinking about how the sex didn't feel right and I just wasn't there mentally or emotionally. There wre times when I wanted to stop, but my body just kept with it because I had been horny all day anyway. After it was all over and the cancer walked me to my car, he leaned into kiss me again, but I kind of turned my head and he kissed me on the cheek. He told me he'd see me later. I couldn't even count it as real sex. I just felt guilty and not remotely better. I just wanted the aqua, even if it was to just cuddle. I realized I only wanted him, but it's hard to want someone (who probably does want you) who isn't ready.

Posted by QuietSt0rm

Posted by Candeh15
I'm just beginning to feel like I'm in a slump. The first guy in so long to make me feel genuinely great, and it can't even happen. I feel like things are slipping through my fingers and I don't know how to hold on anymore. Worst of all, I haven't felt so good about a guy since that aqua... and knowing me... I won't get that feeling again for a while. It was just so nice. And now I just feel a little undesirable myself... blah as well.

That's that scorpio moon talkin'. LOL Girl you better pull yourself out of that funk.

The first thing is realizing that the same guy that can make you feel amazing has the potential to turn around and make you feel like shit. So the next time, just know to build yourself up instead of letting a man do it for you. That way regardless of his actions, you'll be in the same position he found you in, with or without him.

Like I told a girl in another thread, it's okay to lose yourself in love occasionally, but you better know how to get yourself back.

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Lol yeah. The thing isif he had been ANY other guy, I probably wouldn't have been feeling like this too much. That's how I know he was really something special. I still have moments where I just think of his smile and I'm like lost lol. that rarely happens to me. But yeah, I'm trying to keep myself in check and be positive. Also, the irony is just talking to him is a really nice thing, so I'm really just trying to keep it platonic because he is just a great guy to have around altogether. I'd rather suck it up and look elsewhere than not have him at all, ya know?

Posted by QuietSt0rm
How long has it been since the two of you stopped seeing each other? I know that for me, immediately following a breakup, I've felt that I would never get over. Never find someone else to make me feel that way.. blah blah blah. That lasts for less than 3 months. LOL And any guy I've ever thought thought those things about is now the farthest thing from my mind.

So don't short change yourself. You'll heal in due time if you allowyourself the time to heal. But it DOES take time. You'll be fine. 🙂

And I don't know how you're maintaining a friendship with the guy.. that would be tough if you're trying to get him out of your system.

Ummm... it's been about a few weeks, maybe almost a month. And I know I'll heal. I just know it feels different from guys I usually date, so it'll take a bit, lol.

And it helps that we got to different schools like 45 min away (but he's from the area I'm in)so we don't see each other that often. But I said to Krys before that there are some people that come into your life that have an impact and you don't want to get rid of so easily. There are many guys that I wouldn't even bat an eyelash over if we just stopped speaking. But even in the random moments where we just text each other, it's nice. I told him he'd be a great friend from the get-go and I'm not going to just drop him. I just need to focus on myself and consider others now. I miss him, but I'll move on eventually. And if things change in the future, I'm sure I'd be open to it. I'm just not going to dwell on hoping things change lol.

Eat Pray Love the book has so many good quotes. It contains one of my favorite quotes about soul mates ever:

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master..."
— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

Goodnight everyone! And thank you

Good Morning Ladies, I think yesterday was just one of those days. I agree with all you ladies it's like you date someone and it doesn't work out and you just want to retreat and focus on other important things until you just bump into that someone who can make you happy or is worth your time. I also have a Taurus ex who is my child fathers who I always turn to when I am lonely or craving some sexual attention, but at this point I want to cut all of that out so I just went to a toy party and I should be cool for a while. For the moment I have work, school and my family to keep me busy until the guy I am dating comes correct or I meet someone great but at the moment I am OK with being single.

Posted by dancer23
Oh Ladies, last nite all of that talk about the Aqua ex and I had a VERY bad dream this morning. Killed my high! Had a dream that he sent me an email apologizing and said that he was in love with me. It seemed sooo real! And I was so happy in my dream -then I woke up. ;-(

I had this dream last night, not about the aqua per se, but it was like a reoccurring one. IN my dream, there is a guy who is very attractive and he and I are very close. The thing is, we do all things a couple should, but he is forever out of my reach. Like, I'll try to kiss him but he's like pulled away, or I try to hug him, and something happens to prevent that moment. In the end though, he just disappears. We are never fully fulfilled or I can never really have him. Go figure, huh? lol

I don't know if jaded is the right word. I know for me....annoyed is more like it. I dunno, I guess I'm tired of hearing so much about relationships as if they are the ONLY thing that matters. These past 2 years, ALL I have heard are people telling me "I'm this, I'm that, I dont like this, I dont like that". It's not that I dont' appreciate them laying everything all out on the table like that, but most of the time, it is completely unrelated to ANY topic of discussion. Nevermind what I may be thinking,feeling or DOING at the time but, people STILL continue to pile it on like I haven't already noticed, approached YOU, figured it/YOU out myself or like I care.

Whatever happened to just taking the time to get to know people SLOWLY without having to hear their self-conscious sub-conscious talk?