Ok, let's try this again!

Here is a list of GOOD & BAD personality traits a person can possess.

Here's what you can do with this list:
1. Circle/highlight all the traits you genuinely feel YOU are (good & bad) & allow yourself to see YOU in a different light

2.Circle/highlight all the traits you feel your PARTNER/FRIEND possesses. This will allow you to see what you need to be grateful for AND what he/she OR the relationship needs to work on

3. Have a friend or partner circle/highlight all the traits they feel YOU are & this will allow you to finally see how others actually see you--how others perceive us is NOT always how we see ourselves!!--

4. Make sure the goods OUTWEIGH the bads! Whether you're applying this list to just yourself OR to your relationship with someone else!

Sometimes we have a hard time putting things into words. We know we have issues, but we can never really find the right words. This list was made by my friend whose a psychologist. And oh boy, she was absolutely right in that the list really allows you to see the good AND bad in yourself & in others


BUT, you & others have to be 100% HONEST though. Be honest when circling/highlighting the goods AND bads about yourself!

GOOD TRAITS

?? Generous ?? Focused
?? Assertive
?? Humble
?? Good listener
?? Acknowledging
?? Stylish
?? Clean
?? Competitive
?? Genuine
?? Determined
?? Focused
?? Friendly
?? Willing
?? Realistic
?? Rational
?? Family-oriented
?? Good morals
?? Good values
?? Sexy
?? Cute
?? Down to earth
?? Heroic
?? Eager
?? Confident
?? Experienced
?? Welcoming
?? Adaptive
?? Open-minded
?? Mindful
?? Photogenic
?? Playful
?? Idealistic
?? Intuitive
?? Always seeks good
?? Can give without expecting anything in return
?? Has good circle of friends/support
?? Responsible
?? Likes to travel
?? Adventurous
?? Important
?? Festive
?? Sexual
?? Influential
?? Enjoys pleasing partner sexually
?? Fights fair
?? Attentive
?? Influential
?? Careful
?? Precise
?? Appropriate
?? Dresses appropriately
?? Wise
?? Healthy
?? Wishful
?? Goal-oriented
?? Smart
?? Go-getter
?? Decisive
?? Known/famous
?? Tamable
?? Easy going
?? Professional
?? Has positive/good attitude
?? Leader
?? Secure
?? Sane

?? Likeable
?? Teachable
?? Unique
?? Caring
?? Thoughtful
?? Honest
?? Funny
?? Sense of humor
?? Imaginative
?? Affectionate
?? Faithful
?? Loyal
?? Truthful
?? Respectable
?? Respectful
?? Creative
?? Kind
?? Dependable
?? Reliable
?? Trustworthy
?? Exciting
?? Compassionate
?? Educated
?? Intelligent
?? Athletic
?? Warm-hearted
?? Talented
?? Useful
?? Cheerful
?? Social
?? Understanding
?? Romantic
?? Sweet
?? Spiritual/religious
?? Effective

GOOD TRAITS CONTINUED...

?? Assertive
?? Humble
?? Good listener
?? Acknowledging
?? Stylish
?? Clean
?? Competitive
?? Genuine
?? Determined
?? Focused
?? Friendly
?? Willing
?? Realistic
?? Rational
?? Family-oriented
?? Good morals
?? Good values
?? Sexy
?? Cute
?? Down to earth
?? Heroic
?? Eager
?? Confident
?? Experienced
?? Welcoming
?? Adaptive
?? Open-minded
?? Mindful
?? Photogenic
?? Playful
?? Idealistic
?? Intuitive
?? Always seeks good
?? Can give without expecting anything in return
?? Has good circle of friends/support
?? Responsible
?? Likes to travel
?? Adventurous
?? Important
?? Festive
?? Sexual
?? Influential
?? Enjoys pleasing partner sexually
?? Fights fair
?? Attentive
?? Influential
?? Careful
?? Precise
?? Appropriate
?? Dresses appropriately
?? Wise
?? Healthy
?? Wishful
?? Goal-oriented
?? Smart
?? Go-getter
?? Decisive
?? Known/famous
?? Tamable
?? Easy going
?? Professional
?? Has positive/good attitude
?? Leader
?? Secure
?? Sane

?? Gifted
?? Financially stable
?? *Giving?? ?? Honorable
?? Guiding
?? Real
?? Grateful
?? Appreciative
?? Can handle the truth
?? Hypnotizing
?? Pure
?? Smooth/clean skin
?? Mobile (has transportation)
?? Has rhythm
?? Patient
?? Harmless
?? Practical
?? Team player
?? Opinionated
?? Skillful/skilled
?? Helpful
?? Applies self
?? Gives everything 100%
?? Comforting
?? Beautiful
?? Pretty/handsome
?? Freaky
?? Responsible
?? Stress-reliever
?? Active
?? Manner able
?? Has good manners
?? Conservative
?? Outgoing
?? Independent
?? Satisfiable
?? Dreamer
?? Successful
?? Wealthy
?? Knowledgeable
?? Original
?? Cooperative
?? Responsive
?? Able
?? True to emotions
?? Powerful
?? Forgiving
?? Interesting
?? Accepting
?? Non-judgmental
?? Gives 2nd changes
?? Giving
?? Protective
?? Emotionally stable

?? Reasonable
?? Sincere
?? Will do/perform chores
?? Makes good choices/decisions
?? Precious
?? Watchful
?? Obedient
?? Attractive
?? Adorable
?? Role model
?? Live(ly)
?? Straight forward
?? Civil
?? Concerned
?? Studious
?? Consistent
?? Organized
?? Neat
?? Thankful
?? Recovers easily
?? Lucky
?? Has good taste
?? Lucky
?? Strong
?? Grown/mature
?? Loves improvement
?? Gets what he/she wants

?? Has priorities straight
?? Sympathetic
?? Empathetic
?? Natural
?? Winner
?? Brave
?? Courage able
?? Considerate
?? Fair
?? Amazing
?? Accomplished
?? Easy to get along with
?? Tidy
?? Self-starter
?? Self-motivator
?? Can entertain others
?? Expressionate
?? Prepared
?? Laughs a lot
?? Prepared
?? Jokestar/can take jokes
?? Has good judgement
?? Cozy
?? Chivalrous
?? Complete
?? Wholesome
?? Can cook
?? Good with children
?? Flexible
?? Compromises
?? Sacrificing
?? Inventive
?? Likes nice things
?? Sets good examples
?? Someone to look up to

?? Complete
?? Wholesome
?? Can cook
?? Good with children
?? Flexible
?? Compromises
?? Sacrificing
?? Inventive
?? Likes nice things
?? Sets good examples
?? Someone to look up to
?? Can cook
?? Good with children
?? Flexible
?? Compromises
?? Sacrificing
?? Inventive
?? Likes nice things
?? Sets good examples
?? Someone to look up to
?? Has realistic goals/expectations/standards
?? Enjoyable to be around
?? Exploring
?? Believer
?? Always learns lessons
?? Always learns from mistakes
?? Knows when to say, —NO??
?? Observant
?? Open to different things, cultures, races, life style s, etc

?? Knows own limits
?? Sophisticated
?? Comes in handy
?? Loves outdoors
?? Accepts/welcomes change
?? Has integrity
?? Open to/welcomes commitment
?? Good kisser
?? Someone others can count on
?? Has that —touch??
?? Has good or stable family/childhood background
?? Takes risks
?? Makes guess
?? Gives good advice
?? Charming
?? Exercises self-discpline/control
?? Not afraid to cry
?? Motivated
?? Is a good speaker
?? Comedian
?? Animal lover
?? Knows when to take things seriously
?? Thorough
?? Thinks things through
?? Weighs the options/advantages & disadvantages
?? Exclusive

?? Respects elders
?? Available
?? Emotionally available
?? Can hold good/thorough conversation
?? Always follows through
?? Always on time
?? Efficient
?? Conversative
?? Always smiles
?? Factual/speaks the facts
?? Has good hygiene
?? Comprehensive
?? Peacemaker
?? Different
?? Communicates effectively
?? Fulfilled
?? Inspiring to others
?? Supportive
?? Classy
?? Elegant
?? Safe
?? Excellent
?? Respects authority
?? High/good self-esteem
?? Knows self-worth
?? Knows when to follow & when to lead
?? Has regard for human life/nature
*Respects others things/property

BAD TRAITS...

?? Closed-minded
?? Too picky
?? Rude
?? Unfaithful/cheater
?? Always has to be center of attention
?? Attracts/seeks the wrong attention
?? Sarcastic
?? Insecure
?? Dishonest/lies
?? Wishy-washy/flaky
?? Disrespectful
?? Resents authority
?? Cocky
?? Conceited
?? Arrogant
?? Easily intimidated by others
?? Envious
?? Back stabber
?? Lazy
?? Boring
?? Phony
?? Quits/gives up too easily
?? Weak-minded
?? Thief/steals
?? Drama queen/king
?? Withdrawn
?? Anti-social
?? Needy
?? Gossiper
?? Demanding
?? Guarded/has wall up

?? Violent
?? Temperamental
?? Egotistic
?? Selfish
?? Always complains
?? Stubborn
?? Low self-esteem
?? Low self-worth
?? Na??ve
?? Manipulative
?? Dumb
?? Airhead
?? Hothead
?? Bum
?? Spoiled
?? Uncooperative
?? Fighter
?? Bitter
?? Jerk
?? Criminal
?? Guilty
?? Self-conscious
?? Cold-hearted
?? Fake
?? Always shows out
?? Tries too hard to impress others
?? Is a follower
?? Possessive
?? Controlling
?? Illiterate
?? Mooches off others
?? In denial
?? Grudge holding
?? Judgmental
?? Clumsy
?? Careless
?? Slow

?? Over-protective
?? Insensitive
?? Ungrateful
?? Unappreciative
?? Doesn't think things through
?? Miserable
?? Doesn't like/accept/welcome change
?? Obsessive
?? Crazy
?? Emotionally unstable
?? Financially unstable
?? Has bad habits
?? Has addiction to drugs, gambling, sex, etc.
?? Unrealistic
?? Unreliable
?? Predictable
?? Materialistic
?? Slob
?? Weary
?? Angry
?? Two-faced
?? Timid
?? Weird
?? Harmful
?? Is a danger to others
?? Ugly
?? Irrational
?? Is a tease
?? Too big of a flirt
?? Doesn't known own limits

?? Plays mind games
?? Unattractive
?? Loser
?? Frustrating
?? Dead beat
?? Doesn't take care of responsibilities/priorities
?? Alcoholic
?? Drug user/abuser
?? Arguments
?? Is a push-over
?? Argumentative
?? Snitch/tattle tail
?? Doesn't mind own business
?? Stalker
?? Revengeful
?? Evil
?? Distant
?? Detached
?? Intimidating
?? Afraid
?? Ignorant
?? Stiff
?? Interrupts others
?? Mischievous
?? Revengeful
?? Annoying
?? Promiscuous
?? Rebellious
?? Devious
?? Secretive
?? Exaggerates things
?? Minimizes big problems
?? Destructive to self

?? Destructive to others
?? Hoarder
?? Bully
?? Mean (spirited)
?? Inconsiderate
?? Weak
?? Failure
?? Never follows through
?? Doesn't finish 1 thing before starting another
?? Unsanitary
?? Bad hygiene
?? Problematic
?? Has constant mood swings
?? Suspicious
?? Skeptical
?? Pessimistic
?? Inconsistent
?? Useless
?? Cusses too much
?? Doesn't fight fair
?? Forgetful
?? Fearful/fears others or too many things
?? Pest
?? Nerd
?? Overly territorial
?? Abusive
?? Unsatisfiable
?? Monstrous
?? Difficult
?? Fidgity
?? Always over complicates things

?? Commitment-phobe
?? Settles
?? Been hurt a lot
?? Pain-seeking
?? Doesn't make an honest living
?? Loner
?? Good actor (in a bad way)
?? Has dry personality
?? Rejected
?? Sneaky
?? Junky
?? Messy
?? Can't take losing
?? Can't handle a loss
?? Too serious all the time
?? Can't ever take a joke
?? Never positive
?? Vindictive
?? Shrewd
?? Condescending
?? Makes fun of others
?? Doesn't make an effort
?? Doesn't listen to others
?? —Know it all??
?? Can't keep stable job for long
?? Runs from responsibilities
?? Indecisive
?? Splurges (money)

?? Doesn't know what he/she wants
?? Impulsive spender
?? Makes bad decisions
?? Follows wrong crowd
?? Jealous
?? Lives in the past
?? Can't let go
?? Doesn't know when to/how to say —NO??
?? Starts drama/trouble
?? Troublemaker
?? Troublesome
?? Breaks the law
?? Always has to be right
?? Makes excuses for everything
?? Picks pointless arguments/fights
?? Low self-esteem
?? Doesn't follow morals/values
?? Sleeps around (too much)
?? Doesn't respect your/their body
?? Has bad/immature circle of friends
?? Immature
?? Always falls to temptation
?? Doesn't have priorities straight or in order

?? Whiner
?? Cry-baby
?? Harps over the wrong things
?? Unforgiving
?? Holds grudges
?? Lacks a conscious
?? Sociopathic
?? Depressed
?? Mental illness
?? Doesn't mind hurting others
?? Laughs/finds humor in all the wrong things
?? Wants others to do all the work
?? Won't give unless they get something in return
?? Black/cold-hearted
?? Too self-taught
?? Can't ever apologize or make amends
?? Has trouble admitting fault/blame
?? Can't ever take blame or accept responsibility
?? Can't take/handle constructive criticism
?? Over critical
?? Always criticizes others
?? Never contributes
?? Isolated

?? Has a wandering eye
?? Blames others for mistakes/short-comings
?? Can't ever seem to move on
?? Easily distracted
?? Constantly talks negatively about others
?? Finds flaws in others (purposely)
?? Can't ever see/find good in others
?? Can't look in the mirror
?? Avoidant
?? Petty
?? Unhealthy
?? Doesn't take good care of their possessions
?? Doesn't have good/civil relationships with their family
?? Has a lot of enemies
?? Doesn't take good care of their bodies
?? Passive
?? Too aggressive
?? Passive-aggressive
?? Holds everything in
?? Can't communicate their feelings

?? Always tries to find the easy way out of things
?? Degrades other people, races, genders, etc.
?? Looks down on others
?? Feels entitled
?? Loses temper too easily
?? Throws low blows/hits below the belt in disagreements/arguments
?? Always wrongfully assumes things
?? Rushes into things
?? Never follows their heart, intuition or gut instincts
?? Doesn't trust self
?? Emotionally unavailable
?? Wishes bad/harm on others
?? Can't ever make the best out of most situations
?? Attracts drama/trouble
?? Can't settle down
?? Can't focus on 1 thing for long
?? Sabotages other??s relationships & friendships
?? Can't keep a secret

?? Justifies wrong doing
?? Doesn't know how/when to pick battles
?? Lacks motivation
?? Unrealistic goals, expectations/standards
?? Unreliable
?? Untrustworthy
?? Is always at fault
?? Lacks self-disciple/control
?? Gold digger
?? Uses others
?? Takes others for granted
?? Can't keep friends for long
?? Can't stay committed for long
?? Crooked/evil intentions
?? Nosy
?? Interfering
?? Snotty/snobby
?? Always in other??s business
?? Hates on others
?? Can't accept defeat
?? Player
?? Dependent on others
?? ALWAYS HAS TO HAVE THEIR WAY
?? HAS TOO MUCH TIME ON

?? Provokes others
?? Over-bearing
?? Sickly
?? Over-confident
?? Can't handle being told, —NO

?? Clueless

?? Dysfunctional
?? Scatter-brained
?? Pretends to be something you're/they're not
?? Addicted to porn, sex, drugs, alcohol, gambling, etc.
?? Repeats mistakes

?? Easily brainwashed
?? Pushes others away
?? Lacks discipline/self-control
?? Can't control urges
?? Lets others control your/their life/decisions
?? Can't make decisions on own
?? Is miserable & wants company
?? Contradictory
?? Hypocrite/hypocritical
?? Always late/never on time

LMAO! Oh hell, isn't that always how it happens?!

Here we are looking in the mirror thinking we're the closest thing to perfection & YET others think the complete opposite of us! Freakin' bastards!

This list came in the most handy for me whe it was time for me to evaluate my relationship with someone. We had been together long enough to where I could honestly say I "knew him" but then again, I wanted to make sure that the goods OUTWEIGHED the bad & that I wasn't blinded. I had to sit there & REALLY really think about all the goods & the bads to make sure I was in the right relationship.

And when I finally completed the list for both him & I, I showed it to him. He looked at me like I was crazy lol & was even surprised at all the bad traits I had admitted about myself AND circled for him, but he knew it was all true. He couldnt' deny it.

And I did NOT use the list to start an argument or make him feel like shxt. I had a genuine sit down with him & we talked about the things we needed to work on for ourselves AND for the relationship. It really helped us out too. He realized that other's perception IS important/essential especially when you trade in the "I's" for "WE's."

When you're alone & steering your own boat, other's opinions/perceptions of us don't really matter, BUT when you go into a commitment with someone, how they feel & how they see you absolutely DOES matter. What is there to gain if you think you're wonderful when yet they think you're horrible!? If we don't start learning how to step outside of our own thinking, we'll be stuck feeling like a million bucks & ALONE/single!

It's even worse when you give this list to someone that doesn't really know you that well. It's amazing what good/bad traits people can pick up about you even if they haven't known you for that long. We'd be surprised at the traits/emotions we wear on our sleeves that we otherwise thought were well hidden!

There were a few on the negative side that I paused and said, "hey, I like that about me" but oh well. On a list this long there's bound to be somethings open for debate. I am a sarcastic nerd, but I like it and so do my friends... they're nerds too. Now geeks... they're evil!

Oh calm down! It's all about perception. This doesn't just apply to the bad traits, it applies to the so-called "positive" traits too.

What 1 might consider a good thing, others might consider a bad thing & vice versa.

If you don't consider certain listed negative traits as negative, move on. But know that there are surely others who think certain traits listed in the "bad" section ARE negative/bad. Sucks & might be unfair but hey, that's reality.

Each person takes each word how they want to. Like the word, "ugly" for instance. Some of you might've immediately thought of someone being ugly on the inside while others might've taken this to mean ugly on the outside only. It's all about perception dear. And everyone's perception of what's good/positive is DIFFERENT, NOT irrelevant or superficial. There's a difference.

Posted by ellessque
...and wth is wrong with being boring, weird or sarcastic? or having a dry personality?

some of the negative traits you can take right of an astrology assessment of certain signs.

i'm so glad i didn't pursue psychology, i would have surely been an outcast and won some sort of nobel peace prize.

Everybody's level of self-awareness is different. Everyone perceives certain words differently than others.

When I think of "sarcastic" I'm thinking in the literal sense. I pictured someone being sarcastic at the wrong time and/or using sarcasm as a means to piss me/others off! I don't think there's anything wrong with being sarcastic, BUT as with anything, if you spew too much of anything that can easily be seen as negative, it can cause problems. And most of the sarcastic people I know can be too sarcastic in all the wrong situations and/or use their sarcasm as a means to spark negative feelings in others. So for someone like me, I see the word "sarcastic" & frown, not smile.

People with "dry personalities" are still human beings, sheeesh! But to someone like me who is far from dry & doesn't really connect well with people who are boring or dry, I see the word "boring" or "dry" in a bad light.

Plus, it depends on which context you're using the words in. Being boring/dry as a person may not be too bad, BUT in a relationship sense, it sucks! Who wants a boring partner!?

And no, people are walking around here with low-self esteem & with superficial personalities b/c they don't believe in themselves. Being open to hearing other's opinions of us is NOT the same as letting others define us. After all, are you trying to "define me" all just b/c you responded to this post & gave your honest opinion? NO. People need to stop being so arrogant in assuming that being open minded & putting yourself in someone else's shoes for once is the same letting others think for you or define who you are.

In a relationship, how the other person perceives you IS important & vice versa. Wouldn't you want your man/partner to think you're honest just like YOU think you are?! In essence, the whole point was to make sure that who we REALLY are is matching up with the actions of what we proclaim we are!

Posted by LoveBucket
Guys, if someone says you're boring or a nerd then take the same approach I'd take if someone said I was a Splurger, was Guarded/has wall up or is over-protective -- DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL POTATOTES!! There's A PLENTY things on the negative traits to get you rouved if someone said such was you, like for instance, you're Unappreciative, You're a Slob or You're Never Positive. Therefore, sweat the things worth being sweated and leave those small things alone.

Was *Sweats the Small Things* on the list and I missed it? 🙂

THANK YOU!

Hell, I'm sure plenty people would swear being a "liar" or being "violent" isn't a bad thing! But guess what, if we feel that lying IS something to be associated with negativity then so be it! There are alot of "negative" things on this list that some people won't think are so bad/negative, BUT hey, there are plenty of other people who WILL see "boring, dry, sarcastic, controlling, dishonesty, etc." as negative things! SHEESH

Point is, you people get the point! You know exactly what I'm trying to say! Keep in mind that the "negative" traits listed above can ABSOLUTELY be considered "negative" if those traits are a big part of someone's personality OR if those traits have resulted in the loss/disfunction of a friendship/relationship!

I know plenty of people who have been left behind b/c of their sarcastic/boring ways. I know plenty of people who have been left behind or broken up with for being nerdy. Of course the people possessing certain negative traits never really feel the traits are negative. They find reasons to justify certain traits. It could be b/c of their low level of self-awareness OR it could be that their perception is slightly different than others!

Don't sweat the small stuff especially if you know the hidden point behind it all! Don't pick 1 small irrelevant thing out of a bunch just to start a petty argument, especially if you get the general consensus of the WHOLE picture! (breathe)

Posted by ellessque
that's kind of my point.

it's all relative to all human beings. so at the end of the day...it's really pointless.

*stepping off my soap box and calming the hell down* 😛

LMAO! Thanx for freakin' knocking me off the soap box so you can step up! Sheeeesh, people are so rude =P
(Cleaning bruises from fall)

I don't think evaluating self is ever really a bad thing. We can't help that other's perceptions may not be the same as ours. But hey, that's why we naturally navigate towards others in friendships/relationship who DO share similar perceptions b/c life is so much smoother that way.

Ugh, I'd hate to be with someone who thinks being "phony" is a good thing or who thinks being "Driven" is a bad thing! It's much easier to have great communication & solve problems in friendships/relationships if both people share similar beliefs/concepts on what it means for something to be good vs. bad.

My last ex thought being "arrogant" was a GOOD thing! Pst! Perhaps, maybe that'd explain why he lost out on every "good" thing he's ever had, whether it be friendships, relationships or jobs! We always told him that hey, if you wanna be stuck in your own little world where arrogance is actually a good thing, that's fine, BUT don't be surprised when you wake up 1 day with NO friends!

I wasn't upset or defensive. Too bad you can't get tone in text. If someone calls me a nerd I say, "I know". I don't consider it an insult and laugh if someone tries to use it that way.

All in all I like the list/exercise. I am going to try it out just to see what I come up with but I know my answers are biased. I'm awesome 😄

Posted by LibraSid
I wasn't upset or defensive. Too bad you can't get tone in text. If someone calls me a nerd I say, "I know". I don't consider it an insult and laugh if someone tries to use it that way.

All in all I like the list/exercise. I am going to try it out just to see what I come up with but I know my answers are biased. I'm awesome 😄

I agree. It's kind of hard to get the true context/tone in which someone is saying something. Ugh, that's why I hate texting! But that's another conversation =P

Oh there are def. some things people may call me that are on the "bad traits" list but the funny thing is, it doesn't bother me. For instance, some people say I'm quick to give up on somebody. I say, "Thanx! Hey, there's gotta be SOMEBODY in this world who actually WON'T put up with bullshxt!" And I always get the most odd look after I say that =P Tehe

Is someone who just got rolled in a divorce settlement considered financially unstable?

I think I would have more respect for someone that had the balls to try to pick up the pieces than give up and file bankruptcy.