Clubbing w/o your partner?

Is it wrong for people in SERIOUS long-term relationships to go clubbing/bar-hopping often?

Is it wrong OR considered suspicious if 1 person in the relationship often goes to the club/bars WITHOUT their partners?

1. Of course there's always the stigma that's attached to the idea of clubbing: SINGLE & horny males/females who have intentions of hooking up with OR engaging in conduct that those who are "taken" should probably stay away from. These kinds of people believe that the clubbing/nightlife atmosphere is NOT tailored to those in relationships; hence the saying, "There's only 2 things open after midnight: 711's & LEGS!"

2. There's always the issue of "trust" & people assuming that if there's enough trust in the relationship, it should NOT matter.

3. Then there's the people who DON'T mind their partners going to clubs/bars AS LONG as they are there with them.

4. There's the people who won't mind AS LONG as their partner is going club/bar hopping with what they'd consider "GOOD" friends who are either in relationships themselves OR with friends that aren't likely to allow their partners to get into any trouble (wink). (Ex: Some women/men might feel better if they KNOW & actually TRUST the friends their partner is going out with)

5. Then there's the people who don't mind it AS LONG as their partner is NOT going out OFTEN (those who are only ok with this on special occasions vs. random Friday or Wednesday nights)

6. Lastly, there's the people who don't mind AS LONG as their partner isn't making it a habit to come/get home after a certain time (Hours that are considered "disrespectful" for a man/woman to come home)

What do you guys think?!

1 of my best friends debates with her fiance about this all the time. She is ONLY ok with him going to the club if SHE is with him. Of course, he always challenges this arguement by throwing in the infamous "If you trust me, it shouldn't matter," line.

On 1 hand, I can understand her point. 1, her man is in a relationship & they have KIDS together. It's ok if a man wants to go out every BLUE MOON with his buddies & his buddies ONLY! (She understands this) BUT, her fiance ALWAYS wants to go clubbing; he can't seem to let the wild/night/fast life alone. To some people, this unwillingness to let the nightlife go (Especially if you're not in the entertainment business or involved in something that REQUIRES you to go to the club) is a sign of maturity & in some cases, it represents a man/woman's readiness to cheat (if they haven't already). So I can understand her concerns about him & his attachments to the nightlife.

HOWEVER, I can see his point of view too. This is 1 of those situations where I'd be 1 to use the famous, "If you trust him/her, it shouldn't matter" line. If they end up going to the club together b/c they want to dance the night away with eachother, great! BUT, if he ever wants to go by himself, it shouldn't necessarily be a problem either. If she's afraid of what her man might do just b/c he's around a bunch of probably HOT, SINGLE & DRUNK women, she probably shouldn't be with him at all. He has a BIGGER chance of cheating on her (IF that's his intentions) with his hot AND single co-worker.

Point being: Although I agree that certain atmospheres warrant certain things (infidelity, unnacceptable flirting, physical contact with the opposite sex, etc.) I also believe that if you can't trust your partner's judgment when he/she's around the opposite sex, you don't really trust them at ALL. Therefore, a man who decides to keep his azs at home instead of going out all night is NOT necessarily calming your insecurities.

@Fiesty: That's awesome that you guys have such a trusting relationship! I agree that neither of you should even be together if you can't trust the other's judgement around the opposite sex when the other isn't around.

The ONLY time I'd consider my partner clubbing to become an issue is:
1. If my partner always HATED going out OR NEVER before had the urge to go out. If my man "ALL OF THE SUDDEN" had a random inkling to go out by himself & ESPECIALLY if his new random urges became a habbit or routine, I'd be a little suspicious. BUT, even then, I wouldn't question the club/atmosphere he's going to or the girls in it. I'd question the relationship in general.

People go clubbing with their partner?!?!?!

If i went out with my friends and they wanted to bring their partner i would tell them to get stuffed! Unless we had agreed to go out on a couples night then to me it is a big no no.

I have never been out clubbing with a partner and never plan to. When I was with my ex i went out most saturday nights unless we had something planned together, sometimes a day in the week too. He was also free to go clubbing with his mates when ever he wanted, but it wasnt realy his scene.

My friend had a boyfriend who used to "coincidently" turn up att he same clubs we were at it drove me crazy!

Posted by libra sun
People go clubbing with their partner?!?!?!

My friend had a boyfriend who used to "coincidently" turn up att he same clubs we were at it drove me crazy!

Yeah, if I'm going to go to the club with my man, it's gonna be b/c I want to have fun with him & dance the night away. NOT b/c I think keeping him under "SURVEILANCE" all night will somehow sway him from cheating on me.

It's true when they say, "If/when a person wants to cheat, they'll do so by any means necessary." If a man/woman REALLY really wants to cheat, they'll do so regardless of what environment they're put in. A woman may tell her man that he's NOT allowed to go clubbing at all (OR atleast not w/o her), BUT if he REALLY wants to cheat, he'll just take his "I wanna cheat" mindset with him to work, to the gym, OR anywhere else he can. If a man knows his woman has certain "rules" AND if he really wants to cheat, sure he may not cheat at the club & risk her finding out he went; hell, he'll just go somewhere ELSE! And that "somewhere else" is probably the 1 place his partner would've NEVER thought to look/suspect.

It all comes down to trusting your partner's sense of judgment around the opposite sex and/OR temptation. If I can't trust my partner's sense of judgement in places that promote atmospheres of lust/temptation, that's like me not trusting him at ALL!

The only reason some people (women especially) frown upon their boyfriends/spouses going out to clubs is b/c of the HOT/SEXY women, PHYSICAL FLIRTING & CONTACT in those clubs. Only 1 problem though: There are HOT/SEXY women everywhere! (The grocery store, at his job, at the gym, at the mall!). And since my man eventually running into/seeing certain types of women is something I CANNOT change or force him to avoid, there's NO point in me basing my arguments off the club environment itself!

Not only would I NOT want my man to jeapordize the relationship while he's out at the club, I wouldn't want him to risk losing me for ANYONE, anywhere! It's NOT trust if you can ONLY trust your partner in "certain" situations or environments. It's either all OR nothing

True anyone can cheat if they are so inclined. But why push it? Why do what you did when you were single when you are not? Men don't go to clubs to dance, they go to meet women. It's not the outcome that is questioned but the motive. While in my 20's in serious relationships this was always a bone of contention for both of us. Friday nights were reserved for going out w/friends, Saturday was for us. Our night was ruined by talking about what we did on Friday. If I danced or got free drinks from the bartender, it was a HUGE deal. If he danced, it bothered me too. Why? Because it is inherent that the club is a meat market & is specifically designed for sex. Music blaring, liquor flowing, scantily clad women, the men oogle instigating the primal hunting mode. The primal urge should not be underestimated, we can't all be so evolved all the time. Why tempt fate? And you are but it's because you are in a semi-committed relationship.

A married man/woman with kids dancing & flirting at a club would elicit quite a different response from the general public. Suddenly, it's odd & why is a nice married dad/mom out here with us? Shouldn't they be at home with their spouses/kids? That's the first thought in the clubbers mind and that is my point. When you see so-called 'seriously committed people at a club, you wonder why they are there? And why should you if it's all 'just for fun?'

Posted by Mistery
True anyone can cheat if they are so inclined. But why push it? Why do what you did when you were single when you are not? Men don't go to clubs to dance, they go to meet women. It's not the outcome that is questioned but the motive. While in my 20's in serious relationships this was always a bone of contention for both of us. Friday nights were reserved for going out w/friends, Saturday was for us. Our night was ruined by talking about what we did on Friday. If I danced or got free drinks from the bartender, it was a HUGE deal. If he danced, it bothered me too. Why? Because it is inherent that the club is a meat market & is specifically designed for sex. Music blaring, liquor flowing, scantily clad women, the men oogle instigating the primal hunting mode. The primal urge should not be underestimated, we can't all be so evolved all the time. Why tempt fate? And you are but it's because you are in a semi-committed relationship.

A married man/woman with kids dancing & flirting at a club would elicit quite a different response from the general public. Suddenly, it's odd & why is a nice married dad/mom out here with us? Shouldn't they be at home with their spouses/kids? That's the first thought in the clubbers mind and that is my point. When you see so-called 'seriously committed people at a club, you wonder why they are there? And why should you if it's all 'just for fun?'

i go to a club to dance, i like loud music and i like being with my friends, most of which are male and do not cheat on their partners. the ones who cheat are the sames ones who get girls numbers in the street/supermarket/anywhere!

In my opinion, not letting a guy go out is prevention rather then cure. If he cant resist temptation then i dont want to be with him.


My dad still goes out most friday night my mum goes out saturdays, not as often as my dad though, they both trust eachother and have a very happy relationship. Just because you are married doesnt mean you can no longer have fun!

@Mistery..Well, it's NOT necessarily true to say that all men who go to the club are only going for the SAME reasons. Are 99% of them probably going for the reasons you've stated? YES! BUT I'd dispute this the same persay men claimed all WOMEN were going to the club for the same reason. To say "ALL" people are doing something for the same reason is dangerous b/c there's always people like ME, for example, who can say that actually NO, I don't go to the club for ANY of those reasons.

I agree that the club atmosphere is tailored MORE towards those who are NOT in commited relationships. BUT it's NOT THE CLUB ITSELF that is the problem or the "temptation." It's the PEOPLE inside that are. Thus, if you don't trust the people INSIDE, & especially if 1 of those people is your partner, you shouldn't be with them. There's no getting around that.

To say that ALL men/women go to the club for the same reasons is the same as saying that men who bartend are ONLY doing so b/c they have sneaky motives. That's not true. Not only are you exposed to that kind of "temptation" by going to the club period, BUT those who WORK there are exposed to the SAME. And I've seen plenty of bartenders in faithful & successful relationships. Just like I've seen some working in the adult industry, who weirdly AND surprisingly are in VERY faithful relationships.

I think HOW OFTEN a man craves the night life tells more of the story about how committed he is more than anything. If a man goes out to the bar for drinks with his buddies ONCE A YEAR b/c it's 1 of his friend's birthdays, the excuse that this man is ONLY going to hook up with women no longer applies to him. BUT, if a man went out every single week, that'd be a different story b/c not only could fidelity become an issue (since people LOVE to say they're only "human") BUT other priorities (where their money is going/time spent with family/kids) could be in jeopardy too.

I don't think there's anything wrong with going out every blue moon. When I'm in a relationship, I do try to stay away from "SINGLE" environments as much as possible. BUT, if I get a call from my girlfriends b/c they want "Ladies night out," I'll go. And it won't matter HOW many hot/sexy/flirtatious men are there. I WON'T cheat nor will I engage in any behavior/activity that is unappropriate whether my partner is there or not.

And if all men only go to clubs for the SAME reason, then technically his girlfriend going with him is just torturing herself. If

And if all men only go to clubs for the SAME reason, then technically his girlfriend going with him is just torturing herself. If a man can "CONTAIN" himself while his girlfriend is at the club with him, then he should be able to "CONTAIN" himself when she's NOT there. And if a man can't contain himself all b/c his girlfriend is not there, then once again, the problem is NOT the club itself; That man's ability to have SELF-CONTROL is the problem.

It amazes me how many men CAN "BEHAVE" when they're at the club with their partners. So, if I can see that my man can behave when I'm around EVEN THOUGH he's exposed to the VERY SAME lustfull/temptatious & flirty environment, it wouldn't make sense for me to assume that he couldn't be trusted if he was in there by himself.

Me being in the club with my man would prove to me that he atleast HAS the ability to "contain" himself. Not every single man or woman is CONTROLLED by temptation. Hell, some Doctors see the same amount of "nudity" that a man at the strip club might see, BUT that doesn't mean that every man WILL fall to temptation. Nowadays, I see LESS-DRESSED women at the MALL just like I see at the club. So if my man couldn't contain himself in 1 building (the club), I wouldn't trust him to contain himself ANYWHERE. After all, temptation is temptation. A man is either going to fall for it OR he won't.

Of course there are PLENTY of committed men who go in there & act a complete fool, BUT I'd be willing to bet that those men were ALREADY (or on their way) to cheating anyways. And what seperates 1 man from another is their MINDSET. If a man is willing to go into 1 building & cheat on me all b/c of the building he's in, there's an even BIGGER chance that he'd cheat in ALL buildings. Why? B/c of his MINDSET. So for me, I'm more afraid of a cheating MINDSET moreso than the club itself or the people in there.

I do what I want.

but, I have invited a boyfriend to go out with me before and it wasn't a big deal. No drama or anything, I just feel like it wasn't as fun as going out with just the girls, because you feel like you have to dance with them the whole night - I felt all mammied up. :/

I agree 100% with Mistery .. You can "think" you're having all the innocent fun in the world, but for the most part, it really is the image or impression you're giving out to other people, no matter what you're intentions may be. Just a fact of life.. Honestly, i would give a second look if a guy or girl didn't bring along his s/o, because isn't that the person you have THE MOST fun with, anyway? I know i never have to "get-away, or tie-one-on", without my partner; it never even crosses my mind. Not all couples have to "get-away", (especially* in the "singles" kinds of atmosphere, either)..lol

To each their own, however, i do think the BIG "trust" word IS greatly over-used & abused to exuse alot of behaviours, when "simply", common sense and "respect" first for each other should prevail. You CAN trust each other 1000% , but this does not give "carte blanche" of the single life you had before.

i feel ok if he's out with friends but would probably be suspicious if he went alone for no specific agenda such as promoting. even if one is not "clubbing". there are beautiful people everywhere (for some reason there are especially pretty women all over seattle), and we're in the music industry where it's easier to get a piece of ass. we go out to venues for live shows twice a week on average so the times of having access at a drunken, horny body is fairly often. besides, even if you do go as a couple it doesn't mean that others care or notice. i'm probably the one that gets hit on the most but he's had his share.

luckily for me, i don't have to worry much about any of this. we hardly go out without the other present and it's not because of a trust issue. we genuinely enjoy being in each other's company, and even though we won't spend the evening being attached at the hip, we like knowing the other is near. he's has a homebody streak so he won't go out unless it's an event he just can't miss, he's meeting up with friends, or i insist. other than that he's usually working on music. he's not socially retarded by any means but he's not outgoing enough for me to be worried about anything. besides, this is what he says to me all the time,"I'm the one who should be worried!" 😛

Well if someone doesn't trust their partner to go out clubbing by themselves, then what sense does it make to assume going with them is going to ease that sense within you that knows that IF you were NOT there, things would be different. If that's the case, you're better off just making clubbing a NO-NO all together. If the only time you feel comfortable with your partner clubbing is when you go with them, that's a VERY clear indication that you don't trust them.

I agree that some environments are tailored MORE towards those who are single BUT how do you explain the people who work in lust filled environments, who ALSO tend to be in very faithful relationships?! Me not trusting my partner to go to the club w/o me is the same as me writing, "I don't trust your judgment," on my forehead. We can butter this up all day BUT it is what it is. Not EVERY person who goes to the club has some evil/sneaky motive. I'm sure we've ALL been to club without our partners but yet all of us are probably SWEARING up & down that we're faithful.

Hell, not even all single men/women fall to temptation when they go out. Sure, they know they COULD if they wanted to since they are technically single. BUT, there have been PLENTY of times when I've seen a guy not paying any of those hot/sexy/flirtateous women any attention. Sure, alot of people have messed it up for those who ARE actually committed to their relationships, inside AND out of the club, BUT not EVERY man who goes to the club is looking for a hook up; and not every girl goes to the club hoping to get hit on.

It's understandable to incorporate a "NO CLUBBING PERIOD" rule into the relationship, BUT saying that it's okay ONLY if you're there with your partner is pointless & won't TRULY STOP your partner from cheating if they REALLY wanted to anyways. If anything, the men who are going to cheat REGARDLESS just get smart enough to start cheating in places they know their partner's will never suspect. So in these cases, the girlfriend "Shadowing" her boyfriend all night was all for nothing!

People act like cheating is just 1 of those things that randomly happens w/o control. Cheating is a PROCESS. Falling to lust/temptation doesn't just happen within a split second. There's always a CONVERSATION one has with themselves before they either agree to or reject crossing the line. It's not like all men who go to the club immediately turn into cheaters all b/c of the building they're in for the night. A man that is TRULY 100% committed to his relationship won't jeopardize that just b/c a pretty girl comes around. Some men just DON'T REALIZE they weren't as committed as they thought until they are finally placed in certain atmospheres (like the club), BUT, trust me...that "REALIZATION" was going to end up coming anyways (whether it came in the form of him noticing a hot woman at work or at school, etc.)

People have something that's called SELF-CONTROL. It's not like men just automatically drop all of their morals & respect for someone else the minute other attractive women are around. And the 1s who actually DO give in were doomed to give in anyways! And me "shadowing" him at the club isn't/won't stop him from the moment he finally realizes that he's not as committed to me the way he makes it seem.

I can't be with someone who I believe has limited self-control (control when I'm around, but yet forgets he's in a relationship the min. he's placed in flirty environments). True, it's rare for the average PERSON (not just men) to excerize self-control, BUT once again, this is more of an issue with self-control & honesty with self moreso than the issue is with the club & the people it in.

Now if my man wanted to go to a strip club (the 1 place ALL men are going for the SAME reasons), that'd be different. BUT, instead of trying to shadow him or attach to his hip to "prevent" him cheating, I'd just do myself a favor & leave the relationship. I'd leave instead of going through all of the trouble of staying at home drowning in insecurities b/c I'm too afraid of him having certain types of fun w/o me. If I had that mindset, I'd be SCREWED the min. 1 of his friends invited him out to the club for a LEGIT reason. It's simple, w/o trust, you have NOTHING.

Me telling my partner that I HAVE TO be there with him if he goes out to the club would probably piss him off just like it'd piss me off if he was only comfortable if HE was there. I know me, I'm not personally a cheater. Yeah, I see all the hot & flirtateous guys walking around just like everyone else sees them, BUT the difference b/w a single man & a committed man is in ACTIONS. Single men & committed men can BOTH be in the SAME building; the difference should be in how DIFFERENTLY both types of men handle/approach certain situations. And honey if a committed man starts acting like a SINGLE man just b/c he's at some club, he wasn't all that committed afterall, now was he?

I've been to the club before w/o my partner & yet I'VE never cheated or even wanted to cheat. I was exposed to the same ole atmosphere that everyone else was, but that atmosphere didn't turn me into something that I'm not.

I don't think it's possible for someone to bring something out of me unless it was ALREADY there. Sure, some men may realize how UNcommitted they actually are ONCE they get to the club OR certain environments so hey, I'd kinda wanna know how my man was at the club by himself ahead of time. Me forcing him not to go won't help me out any if he ALREADY had an inclination to cheat/fall to temptation anyways.

There are plenty of environments OTHER than clubs that are tailored more to single people. Hell, there are even certain careers in which people are exposed to things some would consider "high risk" environments. It wouldn't make sense for me to find a man who stayed away from certain buildings; no I'd need to find a man who can behave REGARDLESS of what building he's in, that way I won't have to waste the time & stress in "shadowing" or telling him what he can/cannot do.

I've gone to the club before without my man but yet I didn't cheat, so how can others explain that? I've seen plenty of guys go out to clubs & if anything, BRAG about their girlfriends at home all night, so how is that to be explained? Yes alot of people CAN'T control themselves, BUT I'm an example of someone who CAN & I'd want to be with someone whom I could give that same benefit of the doubt to

@krysrenee I agree completely especialy about the bit about single people. I go out to a club to dance and have fun. Im not interested in the guys in there and im single, and not to be big headed but get quite a bit of attention and I tell them im not interested. And I act exactly the same when i am in a relationship.

I have cheated in the past (not proud of it) and I wasnt in a club when i did it. I simply drove to the guys house! If people want to cheat they will do it regardless. A club full of people that might know your partner is probably actually the worse place to try and get away with cheating. Dont think I have ever been out without bumping into someone I know.

Krysrenee7, you asked: Is it wrong for people in SERIOUS long-term relationships to go clubbing/bar-hopping often?

Is it wrong OR considered suspicious if 1 person in the relationship often goes to the club/bars WITHOUT their partners?

Think the operative words here are serious long-term relationships & often. Not a blue moon but often. Plus, I mentioned men, not women in this scenario. And I'm assuming this is a dance club, not a bar, pub, guy's hang-out but a throbbing, techno-music single's kind of club.

This is where men & women differ. And we are different. Women can go and are much more likely to enjoy dancing with their friends or random guys but usually maintain control. Why? Because women enjoy being attractive and can leave it. We got what we wanted if we are just desired by an attractive man. No need to suck or fuck to relieve the attraction. Men, ok, straight men usually aren't into the music at these clubs nor do they enjoy dancing. They pretend to like dancing to get women. These clubs are for hooking up for a guy. And a hot woman grinding on his dick + alcohol & his single friends prodding him may lead to a suck or fuck fest in a smokey stairwell. Sex is just sex even though he loves you and a thrill, however seedy & transient, is still a thrill. You'll never know and he does love you & will come home to you & cuddle you awakening you with a sweet kiss on the neck. You may smell a whiff of perfume, but hey, he went to the same club you did last night and all you did was grind on a stranger's cock through your clothes.

I encourage my man to go out with his friends to a pub & don't have a problem if he goes to a strip club for a bachelor's party once in a blue moon. The operative words in your post was often. Women can go with their friends & have fun but men are built differently. Those kind of clubs are not what they would choose to do on their own except to oogle women or fit in with their single friends. Do they all cheat? NO. It's not even about that, it's about why are you going as a guy who doesn't even like the place except for the fact it's a place to pick up women. Not a neighborhood bar, no live band they like, no darts or sports playing, just a meat market.

AND going there OFTEN?

@Mistery: Oh I agree. It's NO secret that men's expectations at night clubs differ sometimes from women's. PROBLEM IS: on 1 hand, women go around nagging & REFUSE to accept the excuse that men will cheat simply b/c "they are men." Women don't want to hear that b/c they feel that the ability to have SELF-control does NOT differ according to gender. Self-control might be a harder thing to expect from teenagers vs. adults, BUT when a man IS an adult & when he's shown that he's got the ABILTY to maintain self control in EVERY environment, I don't buy it that men don't have any self-control in clubs simply b/c "they are men."

There are ALOT of things men supposedly are more drawn to simply b/c "they are men," BUT when it comes to cheating, women refuse to allow those reasons to get by/pass in the hall of "Justifiable excuses." In other words, yes ALL men are instinctively BUILT to inwardly crave certain things, BUT HOW they respond to those natural instincts has NOTHING to do with gender. HOW each person responds to temptation/lust comes down to the INDIVIDUAL MAN.

It's fair to say that ALL women are naturally built with "motherly OR nurturing" instincts. So if we see women who don't want kids OR who seem to NOT respond to those things, that doesn't make her suspicious OR any less of a woman. Yes, every single OR taken man will STILL have the NATURAL instinct to want to hook up, BUT actually DOING so is completely different & what seperates 1 man from another.

And since clubs are not the ONLY environments that pre-expose them to nudity, alcohol, sexuality & temptation, that'd be like women saying that ANYTIME, ANY PLACE & ANY WHERE a man is exposed to those things means "It's CHEATING time!" And if women don't like to hear those "We do it b/c we're MEN" excuses while their partners are in OTHER environments that expose them to some of the SAME things, I don't see why women "let it slide" or justify it in their minds all b/c their man is at a club.

I agree with Libra sun: Men are MORE exposed to the some of the VERY same things they're exposed to at clubs, EVERYWHERE! That is why it's almost MORE common to see a committed man "deciding to cheat simply b/c he's a man" in his work environment OR while simply at the mall with his buddies. This is why men don't understand some women's disgusted reaction to strip clubs. They TRY to warn us that they're exposed to sexy, half-naked & money hungry women EVERYWHERE! So while his woman is at home assumin

I agree with Libra sun: Men are MORE exposed to the some of the VERY same things they're exposed to at clubs, EVERYWHERE! That is why it's almost MORE common to see a committed man "deciding to cheat simply b/c he's a man" in his work environment OR while simply at the mall with his buddies.

This is why men don't understand some women's disgusted reaction to strip clubs. They TRY to warn us that they're exposed to sexy, half-naked & money hungry women EVERYWHERE! So while his woman is at home assuming her man is ONLY faithful b/c he stays far away from "cheating territories," little does SHE know, her man is probably exposed to MORE "stripper-like environments" while he's at WORK or at school!

This is where the false conception that clubbing is 1 of the ONLY places men "lose self-control" comes into play. A man that can't keep his wocket in his pocket all b/c he's being approached by some hot girl dancing up on him has NO chance of being faithful while at a persay Bachelor Party OR the mall where the women are JUST AS SEXY & FLIRTY! After all, it's not the club that's the enemy or the reason why some men can't control themselves. It's the THINGS IN that environment that somehow justify lack of self control.

And Unfortunately, those VERY SAME women at the club the night before might be the SAME OLE woman who works in his building the next morning!!! So trust me, if he can't keep his hands off her at the club, he ALSO WON'T be able to keep his hands off her when he's exposed to the SAME thing(s) in OTHER environments! THAT is why I think it's MORE important to find men who can excersize SELF-CONTROL REGARDLESS of where they are!

And since there are PLENTY of examples of men who DON'T cheat all b/c they go to the club, then the excuse that "clubbling makes men cheat" is NO longer valid! It's the MAN & his individual ability to maintain self CONTROL that seperates the cheaters from those men who DON'T cheat.

Same goes for women; she may drink MORE b/c she's at the club, BUT I'd be willing to bet you $ 100 that she was ALREADY a drinker ANYWAYS! The same goes for men & cheating!

A billboard, commercial, TV, movies are not 3-dimensional real-life people in a club or strip-club where you can 'reach out & touch' and maybe do more for extra money. Most attractive woman in a grocery store or gym will NOT be willing to hop in his car & give him a bj like those who choose to strip or a drunk, young woman who thinks he's so into them, they could have a relationship if they showed them how sexy they were. Guys hit on me all the time in stores or work. I don't go for it but I have kissed, rubbed up, done things I wouldn't have done if I wasn't in a club or inebriated. Reality becomes skewed in clubs unlike the florescent lights of a store or gym. I guess I trust the guy more than I do the women, but then I judge where my guy goes because it dictates the type of woman he meets.

Krysenee7, you make me believe you have never been to these clubs or a strip club or maybe not know what goes on there. I agreed already that a man who wants to cheat will PERIOD regardless of the venue BUT (my point), WHY PUSH IT? Why go to a place specifically designed for hooking up OFTEN IF you are in a serious relationship?

@Mistery: Oh I've been to PLENTY of clubs. I 100% agree that MOST (not all) people (especially men) go to the club for the same reason, BUT I won't allow myself to say "all" b/c I am the PERFECT example of someone who can go to the club & NOT change up or mess up 1 single time. I also know LOTS of men who don't mess up or let the environment they're in for the night turn them into something they aren't!

I don't agree that a man whose in a serious relationship should be going to the club all the time, BUT I also don't believe that IF he goes 1 or 2 times that a woman shouldn't be at home freaking out either.

Idk what state YOU guys live in, but where I'M from, women are JUST AS aggressive/sexy/flirty, etc. OUTSIDE of the club in the same ways they are while inside the club. That's why CLUBS aren't the only avenues for men who want to cheat. That's why men cheat with co-workers, random girls they met at the mall, women they met online or at school! This proves that women know how to do those very SAME things behind closed doors!

The woman in the club shaking her boobs b/c she's drunk may not be AS wild when the night is finally over, BUT I bet she's STILL as flirty & promiscious OUTSIDE of the club atmosphere.

That's why I get so upset when women look down on strippers. They think strip clubs are the ONLY places that breed money-hungry women who are willing to do anything for what they want. Pst! There are women "like that" ALL over the place! Hell, the next door neighbor is probably like that! Women think that their men will all of the sudden turn into whorxs or "change" all b/c they're inside a strip club when yet that VERY same "money-hungry" woman could put her works on that very SAME man OUTSIDE of the strip club. Sure, her charm may be a little more tweaked INSIDE, BUT once again, it happens.

If a man is willing to cheat on his girlfriend with some girl he met at the club, he's probably ALREADY (or WILL) cheat on her AGAIN with someone else OUTSIDE of the club. Clear indications that men who lack self-control PERIOD will FIND ways to fulfill those desires.

Women don't go from being innocent angels outside of the club to being promiscious & flirty creatures once inside. Sure, the alcohol or the club may TWEAK UP things a little, BUT make no mistake about it, it's IMPOSSIBLE for something/someone to bring something OUT OF YOU if it was NOT already in you.

I agree that if you don't "get down" with what certain people do in certain environments, that it's kinda pointless to even go, BUT at the same time, I also believe that if YOU know deep down that you're "different" or don't fall to the pressure that the ones who messed it up for everybody shouldn't stop you from going out & having fun. As long as YOU know you're not at the club to hook up, it doesn't really matter that 100 other guys might be in there for it. To each it's own.

When I go into the club, I understand that most of the guys in there might assume I'm single simply b/c I'm in there, BUT it's also NOT that hard for me to say, "No thanx" every time 1 of those guys come up to me, NOR do I sit & harp on the fact that I stand out all b/c I'm the only 1 whose actually there w/o the same intentions everyone else has.

Last week, I went to a "gay party" with 1 of my sorors. I'm 100% STRAIGHT. And I didn't feel bad or weird for going. I was FULLY aware that the people at the party would automatically assume that I'm gay, BUT guess what? I'm not. And me going to a "gay party" every single day wouldn't make me any LESS straight. I know I'm not gay & I know who I am & what I'm about so it wouldn't matter if I was at a party full of naked transexuals; that doesn't mean that I'd turn into 1 all b/c I'm there.

Same goes for men at clubs. If a man would fall to pressure from a woman whose "Grabbing" on him at the club, he's LIKELY to fall for the same pressure if that same girl "grabbed" on him at the mall or grocery store