Didn't know where to post this question. Is my guy friend depressed?

I say "friend" because idk where we stand atm. Currently he lives with a roommate, but come June, he has to move in with his mom. Would this make a man depressed? What are signs of depression? Distancing, lack of sexual desire?

It would be depressing to have everything you own and something happen to get all that wiped under them.

So yeah moving back to the parents can benefit but damage one self.

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
It would be depressing to have everything you own and something happen to get all that wiped under them.

So yeah moving back to the parents can benefit but damage one self.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. But him being a man, doesn't wanna look weak and tell me that he's feeling some type of way.

He has distanced himself from me, but we are still communicating.

Just keep communication alive then, be a friend in need when he wants to. Can't focus on him though wholeheartedly. Time will tell!. You do things for you and if meant to move on then okay do so. If he said wait a month but I want to work it out with you because you are the one that is different..

Just went through this with my ex
sad eyes, lower sex drive, closes up a bit
Disruptive behavior, basically feeling extremely sucky.
Keep an eye on him so he doesn't slip further down the rabbit holež

Don't get too attached but safe distance.

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Just keep communication alive then, be a friend in need when he wants to. Can't focus on him though wholeheartedly. Time will tell!. You do things for you and if meant to move on then okay do so. If he said wait a month but I want to work it out with you because you are the one that is different..

Yes, I am focusing on myself, getting my life together piece by piece. I will be his friend no matter what happens between us, because I care for him deeply, and only wish for his happiness.

Our story is very complex, he has said that we will have a relationship in the future, but we need to get our shit right first. But due to his actions, i'm not really believing it. Regardless, like I said before, I will always be there for him, because that's the kind of person I am.

Posted by Scorpioluver
Just went through this with my ex
sad eyes, lower sex drive, closes up a bit
Disruptive behavior, basically feeling extremely sucky.
Keep an eye on him so he doesn't slip further down the rabbit holež

That is very sad, i'm so sorry. Was his depression the cause of your breakup?

Yeah I am trying to emphasize with you. I've been there too. So yeah only you will know and I will stay bittersweet on this topic. No one is prefect but a person will know when to say fuck it, idc because you tried. Oh well.

Oh action vs words are important online and irl.

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Yeah I am trying to emphasize with you. I've been there too. So yeah only you will know and I will stay bittersweet on this topic. No one is prefect but a person will know when to say fuck it, idc because you tried. Oh well.

Well i'm honestly grasping at any possibility to explain his distance, though moving back in with his mom is a BIG thing, especially for a man, but I don't think that's the real reason behind his behavior.

But time will tell, I just need to keep my heart guarded like you said. It is getting easier imagining life without him though, meaning in a romantic way.

It's the physical attraction but what else is there that would keep yall together or close?

And a connection and a friend is great to have when you are down. Right but right now take the opportunity to do what is needed. Woman would wait for the one but can't wait too long as I learned.

Yeah okay well I moved in with my mom wasn't on great terms but she took me in. And I did things like go to college and work and save money so I could one day move out again. I became depressed too. So it probably temporary and make sure he finds a job again. Because it is easy now with wages up now. Stay a friend and encourage to keep at his goals. And don't forget to check in but not get too emotional.

What do you think he is hiding then@Op.

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
It's the physical attraction but what else is there that would keep yall together or close?

And a connection and a friend is great to have when you are down. Right but right now take the opportunity to do what is needed. Woman would wait for the one but can't wait too long as I learned.

Well when we first started talking, we were the best of friends, talked every day, all day, told each other EVERYTHING, saw each other at the gym three times a week (again, a complex story), this went on for a few months. Then he was the first to tell me he loved me. After that, shit went down, but we've stayed in contact since then, it's going on a year now. But I kind of feel the connection fading, I just don't know why he doesn't let me go if he has no intention of building a future with me sometime down the road. And no, he doesn't keep me around for sex, it's been a month since that's happened.

And you're definitely right. I will wait, because for me he is the one, but i'm not gonna wait forever.

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Yeah okay well I moved in with my mom wasn't on great terms but she took me in. And I did things like go to college and work and save money so I could one day move out again. I became depressed too. So it probably temporary and make sure he finds a job again. Because it is easy now with wages up now. Stay a friend and encourage to keep at his goals. And don't forget to check in but not get too emotional.

Oh he has a job, but can't afford to live on his own. I truly believe that he loves, or at least loved me at one point in time, but doesn't want a relationship with me because I represent too much " baggage" (I have two kids and am struggling myself), and just doesn't have the balls to tell me. But then I get to thinking, that maybe his reasoning is, because he can't provide for me, so it prevents him from taking the next step.

He could be hiding other girls.

Posted by Jkats

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Yeah okay well I moved in with my mom wasn't on great terms but she took me in. And I did things like go to college and work and save money so I could one day move out again. I became depressed too. So it probably temporary and make sure he finds a job again. Because it is easy now with wages up now. Stay a friend and encourage to keep at his goals. And don't forget to check in but not get too emotional.

Oh he has a job, but can't afford to live on his own. I truly believe that he loves, or at least loved me at one point in time, but doesn't want a relationship with me because I represent too much " baggage" (I have two kids and am struggling myself), and just doesn't have the balls to tell me. But then I get to thinking, that maybe his reasoning is, because he can't provide for me, so it prevents him from taking the next step.

He could be hiding other girls.

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Yes, by all means. Continue to make excuses for him so that you can martyr yourself on the altar of time.

While you waste your life waiting on him, he will entertain himself with the knowledge that you will come running as soon as he calls...all the while looking for his ideal woman with lighter baggage.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Jkats

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Yeah okay well I moved in with my mom wasn't on great terms but she took me in. And I did things like go to college and work and save money so I could one day move out again. I became depressed too. So it probably temporary and make sure he finds a job again. Because it is easy now with wages up now. Stay a friend and encourage to keep at his goals. And don't forget to check in but not get too emotional.

Oh he has a job, but can't afford to live on his own. I truly believe that he loves, or at least loved me at one point in time, but doesn't want a relationship with me because I represent too much " baggage" (I have two kids and am struggling myself), and just doesn't have the balls to tell me. But then I get to thinking, that maybe his reasoning is, because he can't provide for me, so it prevents him from taking the next step.

He could be hiding other girls.

Yes, by all means. Continue to make excuses for him so that you can martyr yourself on the altar of time.

While you waste your life waiting on him, he will entertain himself with the knowledge that you will come running as soon as he calls...all the while looking for his ideal woman with lighter baggage.

click to expand

This hurts, because it's probably true. Not offended, but it makes me sad, because i'm a great woman with an amazing heart.

Yes, Jkats that's what caused it. He was slowly growing distant and started seeing a therapist. He was unhappy with life and career. Even though I was there for him, it wasn't enough. Take it from, give him space. Mine is Scorpio and needs to go to ground and burn down to feel better. Good luck hon

Well @Op lots of good people get fucked up because they have a good heart. So we got to stick together, learn from mistakes and kick the gonads because we are not made for everyone. And get easily manipulated or used because one has said just friends or you're not the one.

As a woman I hate baggage. Let me know up front things I should know while courting for one so I can have that power and make sure is that the one for me. And in the process you stay single, mature and be independent. It's up to you.

@Jkats. Guess what I have two jobs and have my own.

By all means he shouldn't be depressed and it is why I said keep on him, chat about getting a job another one. Other wise he going to be there along time.

Posted by Scorpioluver
Yes, Jkats that's what caused it. He was slowly growing distant and started seeing a therapist. He was unhappy with life and career. Even though I was there for him, it wasn't enough. Take it from, give him space. Mine is Scorpio and needs to go to ground and burn down to feel better. Good luck hon

Well at least you had some true love going on, and good memories i'm sure. I am going to give my friend some space, but I have no more hope for a future together with him. But I will always be there if he needs me, I promised him that. And thank you, you as well! XO

Posted by thinktoomuch
Being depressed is not what you are describing, it´s way worse.

You are grasping for anything to explain something instead of just accepting what´s going on.
Letting go of someone and something that meant a lot to you is hard, but that´s what you´re gonna have to do. And after a while you will have grown so much and feel stronger. And you´ll be able to be honest about things with yourself and accept, that he just isn´t really that interested in you and probably never was ready for something so serious as you want.

I agree with you, he's not interested, his actions say so. I am letting go of him emotionally, but I won't erase him from my life, I promised that i'd be there for him no matter what. If it's just as friends, then so be it. He's actually helped me take a good hard look at myself, and made me realize that I have a lot of internal growth that needs to be done. Every person that comes into your life is a lesson, and he's taught me a lot in regards to how I view myself, and what changes I need to make so I can have a healthy relationship when the right man comes along. But damn, love hurts like a bitch.

Posted by Shashka

Posted by Jkats

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Yeah okay well I moved in with my mom wasn't on great terms but she took me in. And I did things like go to college and work and save money so I could one day move out again. I became depressed too. So it probably temporary and make sure he finds a job again. Because it is easy now with wages up now. Stay a friend and encourage to keep at his goals. And don't forget to check in but not get too emotional.

Oh he has a job, but can't afford to live on his own. I truly believe that he loves, or at least loved me at one point in time, but doesn't want a relationship with me because I represent too much " baggage" (I have two kids and am struggling myself), and just doesn't have the balls to tell me. But then I get to thinking, that maybe his reasoning is, because he can't provide for me, so it prevents him from taking the next step.

He could be hiding other girls.

I am not saying what you should do. But is that really healthy for either of you?

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It is not, the more I look at the big picture. He's obviously not ready to make a commitment to me, or any other person for that matter. He has more life to live, and a lot of growing up to do before he will be ready to settle down and stop playing stupid ass games.

I actually have thought that he deserves somebody that won't bring him down such as I would, and I deserve a guy that is secure within himself that will accept all that I bring to the table. He's only 25, that's why I say that, I am 35, we are on two different playing fields. Our goals and dreams are totally different from each others, so I need to let him go.

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
@Jkats. Guess what I have two jobs and have my own.

By all means he shouldn't be depressed and it is why I said keep on him, chat about getting a job another one. Other wise he going to be there along time.

I am a good person, i've made plenty of mistakes, but have owned up to them and am trying to change. He however is not willing to do that.

And he knew my story from the get go, even said that he was willing to be with me even though I had kids. But now I only see everything he's said as lies.

I am going to disappear on him for awhile, I will keep in contact only because I said that I would always be there for him, and I stand behind my promises. He could honestly be depressed, but it doesn't change the fact that he doesn't want to be with me. 😢

Posted by Impulsv

Posted by Jkats

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Jkats

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Yeah okay well I moved in with my mom wasn't on great terms but she took me in. And I did things like go to college and work and save money so I could one day move out again. I became depressed too. So it probably temporary and make sure he finds a job again. Because it is easy now with wages up now. Stay a friend and encourage to keep at his goals. And don't forget to check in but not get too emotional.

Oh he has a job, but can't afford to live on his own. I truly believe that he loves, or at least loved me at one point in time, but doesn't want a relationship with me because I represent too much " baggage" (I have two kids and am struggling myself), and just doesn't have the balls to tell me. But then I get to thinking, that maybe his reasoning is, because he can't provide for me, so it prevents him from taking the next step.

He could be hiding other girls.

Yes, by all means. Continue to make excuses for him so that you can martyr yourself on the altar of time.

While you waste your life waiting on him, he will entertain himself with the knowledge that you will come running as soon as he calls...all the while looking for his ideal woman with lighter baggage.

This hurts, because it's probably true. Not offended, but it makes me sad, because i'm a great woman with an amazing heart.

Lighter baggage?? Don't let that affect u
I see tons of men marry women with kids
The fact is he ain't showing it.
Fear n all don't matter the point is what is presenting now.

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Very true. One day I will find a man that loves me regardless of my living situation, kids, job, flaws, but he isn't the one. But no doubt, when he finally is ready for true love, his chance with me will be long gone, and he will regret it. I'm an amazing woman, that's why my first ex respects me so much, and why my recent ex is still in love with me, even though I did him wrong. I need to find my self worth again.