Giving your S-O your passwords

Do you agree that people should give their partner's their passwords voluntariy or if asked? (Email, voicemail, banking passwords, etc.)

Idk, on 1 hand I think doing so is a BAD idea if your partner only wants it b/c they're insecure and/or plan on looking for trouble. Plus, I've seen some people voluntarily give their passwords away simply b/c they want to "prove" that they're faithful and/or that they've got nothing to hide. My thing is, if giving away your private info. is the only way for you to prove yourself, then you might need to question the security in the relationship.

However, I've seen couples feel like they're on a brand new level of comfortability and/or trust by giving eachother their passwords, especially if the other person doesn't abuse that priveledge.

What I CAN'T STAND is when I see 1 person in the relationship who knows/demands all their partner's passwords, but yet never wants to give out their own! That's a double standard & honestly, the words "INSECURE" couldn't be written any larger on their foreheads!

What do you guys think about this? I see that alot of married couples give eachother passwords if it's necessary, but not just for the hell of it. Hell, if they have a question, they should ask.

Yes, I get it that you shouldn't have anything to hide, BUT I do believe that a person should always maintain some sense of individuality & privacy. You don't literally have to share every single damn thing just to prove/feel like you're in a meaningful/promising/trustworthy relationship. Idk, I'm 50/50 on this

I'm going to be honest, I think giving away your passwords can sometimes (keyword) do more harm than good. For instance:

If a guy says, "I swear I didn't cheat! Fine, here's my facebook password," that's a bad thing to say. His woman needs to trust him regardless of whether or not she has full access to his account. Her having his password will NOT make her trust him any more nor will it fix her trust issues. If anything, it'll enable/encourage her insecurities.

If a woman says, "I want you to trust me 100% so here's all my passwords" that could backfire too especially if she's giving them to a man who plans on taking advantage of that fact.

I agree. And it all does depend on the case. For example, I gave my facebook password to my boyfriend voluntarily so he can check it for me since I don't have internet ( 😢 no internet sucks!). But I trust him. I don't think he's ever signed in again. I have his password too. He uses the same password for everything, but I can't find any reason to sign in to any of his accounts. And he knows that too. I also put a password on his laptop because there are some pictures of me I wouldn't want anyone else to find. Does he care? Nope.
He never asked for my password and I never asked for his, so there's trust. But if you're asking for their passwords then it's going to be weird because they might not feel comfortable giving it even if there's nothing to hide, or secrets. And that alone can plant something between two people to grow more and more as time passes by.

if mine wanted to give me his, i wouldn't care. i would rather not know it so i don't have the temptation, but, it still wouldn't be THAT tempting. if he asked for mine i would probably laugh in his face for he would know better.

i am very up front with my necessity for a little privacy. i share and reveal pretty much everything about myself... but don't EVER rummage through my bag (purse), any personal sites on the internet (i.e. email, facebook, etc.), or my phone. it has nothing to do with being sneaky or trying to hide something. i just like to have what privacy is left in this world.

i seriously look away if he is reading emails or texts and don't even ask who they're from. 9 times out of 10 it's one of his band mates needing to communicate about something having to do with the band anyway.

I think sharing passwords is just plain silly. Just because you're in a relationship does not mean you've merged into one person. I have no idea why one would even THINK of asking for it or giving it. It can't be a good sign though.

It's all a ruse anyway. If I'm doing something shady and my boyfriend asks for my password...yeah, sure...here you go. Then off I go to create a new email account somewhere else.

I agree with everyone. Its a BAD idea. If you dont trust your SO to the point that you need their info, then the relationship and/or the person has some serious issues that a passowrd isnt going to fix. Also, sometimes emails, messages, texts, etc can be misunderstood. If I have a boyfriend, and I go through his emails, I could very well find an email from or to one of his female or male friends that might give the me wrong idea; me not knowing the context of the email. It opens the door for drama and trouble. It's also a general invasion of privacy.

My grandmother used to always tell me, when you go out looking for trouble...you find it!

Wise words, Grandma. 😉

Posted by Shadows
Wise words, Grandma. 😉

Lol. She has never led me astray... Ha!

Posted by CappyyLuv30
Wise words indeed. 😄

Hmm....I don't know I'm a little biased on this. When I used my ex-husband's computer once and saw that he had emails from other women which I questioned, he was so irrate that he changed all his passwords. THEN not only would he change them periodically, he would TELL me when he did. It was so childish and a deeper issue at hand. I wasn't purposely looking for anything. I opened the browser and he was still logged in and of course the email caught my eye. He never trusted me with passwords from day 1. I guess that should have been a HUGE sign (that I was so transparent and he was not) because he ended up cheating on me. Perhaps, the fact that I saw that email or his account was a warning and I didn't realize it. Hindsight is 20/20.

Exactly, and from the sound of it (correct me if I am wrong) your husband might have had some issues to begin with. Again, issues that him giving you the password to his email, would not have solved by itself.

Also, I feel like if a person wants to cheat, they are going to cheat. It does not matter if you have their password, social securiity number or a crystal ball that follows them everywhere they go. They are going to cheat. Where there is a will, there is away.

no. it's not like i'm hiding anything but i want my SO to respect my privacy. you dig?

I keep everything open to my husband, unless he starts going Scorpionic on me and questioning me about my contacts or messages. I have nothing to hide, but he can insinuate that I do. That's when the passwords change until he gets a grip, remembers I'm trustworthy, and can handle the info.

Posted by Whimsy
I keep everything open to my husband, unless he starts going Scorpionic on me and questioning me about my contacts or messages. I have nothing to hide, but he can insinuate that I do. That's when the passwords change until he gets a grip, remembers I'm trustworthy, and can handle the info.

I wish I could simply like this like I could on facebook..

*like*

I'm all for 2 people being open for eachother.

I guess the real question is WHY do you want that access? Just for the hell of it? To enable/feed into your insecurities? To go looking for trouble? Just for the sake f being able to say, "Yep I'm open/truthful?"

If you don't trust your partner (or vice versa), having eachother's passwords won't make that trust grow any stronger, nor will it erase any insecurities if trust is lacking. If you're THAT curious about what your partner is doing, just ASK them personally. And if you feel that asking them WON'T get you a truthful response, THAT is moreso the problem vs. you not having access to what is theirs.

People take this relationship/marriage thing too technical/literal sometimes. Yes, you're a couple & yes you should be open with eachother, BUT having 1% of freakin' privacy isn't going to tarnish the relationship, nor does it mean that someone is hiding something.

There is technically NO reason why I'd need access to my man's facebook page. If there's something I want to see, I'll look at his page through MY own page. And if there's something on his page that only he can see (like inbox messages) then I'll ask him.

In other words, you shouldn't rely on email or facebook passwords to tell you the truth or measure the amount of trust in a relationship. It's either there or it isn't

my significant other can go screw himself if he thinks he's getting any kind of security clearance.