Hi..I'm looking for someone's input on this!

I'm new to this site and I was just wondering around, reading some posts and trying to think if it's possible to move from "friends with benefits" to a real relationship? Do you have any tips for it? I've been friends with this guy for a long time and we both admitted to each other that we like each other. He seemed to want to approach me for a relationship but I wasn't ready yet and I told him that I don't have time for dating. Since then he backed off and stopped contacting me. I don't wanna lose him, because I like him. I'm shy and he seems to be emotionally reserved too. Is there anything I can do or does it mean we're not meant for each other and should just both stop seeing each other? My friends don't like him and they think he's weird and he's quite older than me, so all this adds up and makes me refuse to get into a serious relationship with him. I cannot think of what to do at this moment. I'm so busy with college and work but I still like him hell a lot. He asked me to move in with him, but I don't think that's a good idea... What do you think I should do?
(Sorry for not putting this in organized form, its pretty late in here and my mind is swinging)

^^^ lol yea you kinda do 😛

oooh let me try...

if it's possible to move from "friends with benefits" to a real relationship?

you have to prioritise in this case. Is this relationship what you want or need? Can you juggle all and give it your best shot? moving in is a big step if you are still in the fwb stage so I would date and actually know him first without the extra pressure of sharing the same space.

See what you feel like after YOU spend time with him un-influenced by your friends... you're the one that will be dating or living with him. Your friends don't know him well do they?

"new to this site...reading some posts...possible to move from "friends with benefits" to a real relationship? Do you have any tips for it"

This is what you and only you have to find out.

People are different. what we say does not count at all. We have no authority. Fact is sometimes some FWB gets improved to a relationship. Fact is also, some men do not know they have a soul cause they do not see it. Their dick they see it.

You need to find out to which group your man belong. You have to get to know him. how is his family? how are his social contacts? how is he to his family? how is he to his future plans? how is he to his dreams? how is he to his soul?

Darn it.

I wish I could give a useful answer ...

I'm never been into FWB so ... hmmm

Your question seems extremely odd ....


You would ask .. how to move this into a regular relationship ... yet, you said .....

"and makes me refuse to get into a serious relationship with him."


He wants you to date him, and you tell him no .. he is apparantly wanting you to have a relationship and you fight against doing this.


but, then come in here and ask a question of how to move from FWB to a relationship with this guy and you make it sound like he isn't wanting to and you have to figure out how to get him to regard you as a girlfriend .... when the thing is ..

He's actually been trying to get you to be serious with him and you've been holding back ... so, this is why this question is odd to me.

Why would you ask how to do get a man to want you on a different level when he has already been trying to, and it's you refusing to go there?



You make no sense to me .... like talking out of both sides of your mouth, unless I'm not reading this correctly.

Thank you for the answers

I think I have messed some things up and he gave up, so now he might not want me neither as a friend nor as a serious partner. I told his friend that I'll be going out with someone and he probably blurped it to him. That was a joke and he hasn't contacted me for a few weeks. I don't know if this might be the reason. But the last time when I phoned him, he seemed happy and said he'll call me next day, but he hasn't since then. And that same night I told his friend that I'll be going out with some guy. I really shouldn't of said it. But, I have told him in person that I'm going on dates, but I was being sarcastic about it and he might not have believed me.Anyways I feel bad about it and I don't know if things between us are over or he'll come back. And the relationship thing, I'm not really ready for it NOW, but I want to keep him going after me untill I'll be ready. I know it might sound selfish but it's not. And yes, my friends think his weird and they don't like him, well not all of them, but most. I like him a lot because he's different than everyone else.

I never mentioned he's a virgo? :pI think he's either sagitarius or capricorn. And speaking of chess, this seemed like a good shot, because he kept mentioning lately that we should play chess sometime, even though I told him I don't have skills, he said with practice I'd learn lol. Just thought to share this, it was interesting and the fact that you mentioned his sign. I never really believed in astrology, I think it's a bull of crap At most part..but who knows LOL.