How to deal with a man who has his guards up?

Now I am a virgo woman and in the past ive dated a man who lived 2 hours away and was previosuly hurt. it didn't hurt the relationship too much because he was long distance and the relationship couldn't really grow. So recently I met a guy who's a virgo and he has a guard up. He stopped texting and calling as much. When I point out he said it was because he has "family issues" and then mentioned another time that he was "working a lot". From past relationships he mentioned how he was cheated on and used for his money. HOWEVER, I NEVER asks him to pay for anything for me, nor try to give the impression that I am possibly talking to anyone else. Since we are not in a relationship its obvious that we would be dating other ppl. Dating others isn't a problem at all. However, if you are pulling away from me how are u still going out with other girls? So once I start to leave the situation alone he sends texts and do random calls. If you're not interested in giving me the consistency you once have given then why are you contacting me? Ive stated what I wanted and how he is pulling away for a reason.

When I mentioned putting his guard down he said he just couldn't not yet. So I can stick around until that happens. In the perfect world I would love to, because when we're each other we NEVER argue and have endless fun! Staying over each other house and talked everyday. So I just fell back and then he would text me randomly but not really talking about anything. I stopped carrying conversations with finding things to talk about. Let him take the lead and when he texts me its so generic like "good morning, how are you?" then when I reply lol thats it. Another communication prob is when I say something to him he refers someone else. Or when I give compliments he would say that he is sure that I tell my male friends that all the time.

Overall, just help me on how to deal with a VIRGO man who has his guard up!!!

been there, done that with a virgo man.

here's the deal, virgo men are very private people and hold deep emotions inside. they are scared to show those to someone they are attracted to until they become a couple. until then, you will get the push pull. if you don't understand this, youtube "rubberband effect", which is a theory by Dr. John Gray who wrote "men are from mars, women are from venus." this theory will explain to you why men pull away when you try to get close. it's how they're wired. it's not you.

also, you ask about why he brings up other people when you are tying to communicate with him etc. I've experienced the same thing. When I'd be talking about things I was busy with in my life, he'd always bring up the name of a former friend of mine who he was fond of. It would get me a little PO'd because I thought it was simply rude. I finally asked another guy friend of mine why was this male virgo doing this every time. He said, he's trying to make you jealous. So there you go. Your Virgo guy is trying to make you feel something for him without him asking you how you feel about him. It's all passive aggressive crap. These guys are experts at PA and live and breath for it.

VM love a chase and yet, once they get close to their affection, they withdraw. They are insecure about feelings. It can take a male virgo months to figure out what he's feeling inside. In the meantime, you can age another year before he knows what to do.

So here's my advice. If you like him and want him to feel something deep for you, live your own life, do your own things, date other people and let him know you are a busy individual. they will see that as a challenge and admire you more for it. if you keep communicating with him every time you feel a desire to, he will get scared and pull away. let HIM COME TO YOU and CHASE YOU. the more he has to invest in chasing you, the more his desire for you will grow. Men want what they can't have. It's the way it's been since the dawning of the age.

Read "men are from mars, women are from venus" and go watch youtube videos on the rubberband effect. you'll know what to do and how to act, and you'll be coming from a level of confidence rather than insecurity because you will have the tools to do so.

good luck.

PERFECT!!!!!!!

Posted by gemini64
been there, done that with a virgo man.

here's the deal, virgo men are very private people and hold deep emotions inside. they are scared to show those to someone they are attracted to until they become a couple. until then, you will get the push pull. if you don't understand this, youtube "rubberband effect", which is a theory by Dr. John Gray who wrote "men are from mars, women are from venus." this theory will explain to you why men pull away when you try to get close. it's how they're wired. it's not you.

also, you ask about why he brings up other people when you are tying to communicate with him etc. I've experienced the same thing. When I'd be talking about things I was busy with in my life, he'd always bring up the name of a former friend of mine who he was fond of. It would get me a little PO'd because I thought it was simply rude. I finally asked another guy friend of mine why was this male virgo doing this every time. He said, he's trying to make you jealous. So there you go. Your Virgo guy is trying to make you feel something for him without him asking you how you feel about him. It's all passive aggressive crap. These guys are experts at PA and live and breath for it.

VM love a chase and yet, once they get close to their affection, they withdraw. They are insecure about feelings. It can take a male virgo months to figure out what he's feeling inside. In the meantime, you can age another year before he knows what to do.

So here's my advice. If you like him and want him to feel something deep for you, live your own life, do your own things, date other people and let him know you are a busy individual. they will see that as a challenge and admire you more for it. if you keep communicating with him every time you feel a desire to, he will get scared and pull away. let HIM COME TO YOU and CHASE YOU. the more he has to invest in chasing you, the more his desire for you will grow. Men want what they can't have. It's the way it's been since the dawning of the age.

Read "men are from mars, women are from venus" and go watch youtube videos on the rubberband effect. you'll know what to do and how to act, and you'll be coming from a level of confidence rather than insecurity because you will have the tools to do so.

good luck.

Posted by gemini64


also, you ask about why he brings up other people when you are tying to communicate with him etc. I've experienced the same thing. When I'd be talking about things I was busy with in my life, he'd always bring up the name of a former friend of mine who he was fond of. It would get me a little PO'd because I thought it was simply rude. I finally asked another guy friend of mine why was this male virgo doing this every time. He said, he's trying to make you jealous. So there you go. Your Virgo guy is trying to make you feel something for him without him asking you how you feel about him. It's all passive aggressive crap. These guys are experts at PA and live and breath for it.

@Gemini64 yesssssss he would do PA stuff all the TIME!!!! My bff said the same thing! I am going to watch that video ASAP!!! I don't get the passive aggressive stuff then when I suggest for him to let his guard down, he says he can't. I told him to just let me like you lol. But men are dumb so I'm sure he don't know how to do that.

Posted by gemini64
He said, he's trying to make you jealous. So there you go. Your Virgo guy is trying to make you feel something for him without him asking you how you feel about him. It's all passive aggressive crap. These guys are experts at PA and live and breath for it.

VM love a chase and yet, once they get close to their affection, they withdraw. They are insecure about feelings. It can take a male virgo months to figure out what he's feeling inside. In the meantime, you can age another year before he knows what to do.

I don't get the concept of "trying to make me jealous". So he is trying to make me jealous with MY OTHER FRIENDS? lol He would suggest my other friends to do stuff that I asked him to do. Ex. I asked him if he heard of something about my car and he said for me to ask my dad cuz he don't know. lol or when i mention something he'll say he knows I did that with another guy or something. When idk why he is suggesting other men to do things i ASKED HIM TO DO!!!

Posted by gemini64

they are scared to show those to someone they are attracted to until they become a couple.

I smell bullshit

Whatever that means!