I believe You can tell how the rest of a R'Ship will go, by what happens in the First 3 Dates.

I don't know if anyone has raised this or a similar topic before? So apologies in case they have.

Anybody else feel the same way?

I have only had 2 long-term relationships, (I am currently married with my 2nd partner), and in both r'ships, certain things happened in the first 3 dates - more specifically First 2 dates - that later came back to haunt me, so to speak.

For example. .when my husband and I had our first date, we were both nervous so - from my point of view - we didn't actually talk about anything. We went to a cocktail bar, and spent 4 hours there. We didn't drink until we were blind drunk but we were both a little light-headed but fine.

Anyway, throughout the date I was acutely aware that we were not getting to know each other. Instead we just made each other laugh by taking the P out of the cocktail names! !

Now I'm sure most of you know that when a first date involves only talking about the menu, things are not looking good.

The interesting thing is that my husband doesn't see our first date this way. He says we spent 4 hours together having fun.

I know it was fun BUT we didn't actually Talk about anything! Or get to know each other. Once he got me home to my place, we kissed for ages! We were outside standing on my driveway. Yes..I know..I let him kiss me on the first date! Bad girl! ! ?

Now fast-forward 13 years..Most of our relationship has been spent only talking about what we are doing at the time it is happening (like our first date..We talked about the cocktails but nothing else). But beneath the surface we don't talk.

2nd date - we went to the cinema! Bad idea! Prevents any conversation happening for most of the date! Then afterwards I tried to get a conversation going by asking him what films/music/books he likes, to see if we have any common ground to share. He answered every question with 'I like lots of things.' ? At the same time, asked me nothing about myself!?! I started getting frustrated but didn't show it. And..Once again I let him kiss me!

Fast-forward again and it turns out my husband spends ALL his time on the Internet and watching TV to the detriment of our relationship!! ?

Finally by our 3rd date, We met up and spent the weekend together to go shopping for costumes for a fancy dress party my (then boyfriend), had invited me to. It was a nice fun weekend BUT we only talked about looking for costumes, what we want for lunch and other small talk etc etc.

And to this day, after 13 years, we have nothing in common, we don't get on beneath the surface - but we do On the surface.

Don't ask me why I have stayed it's a long story! The simple answer is that I just assumed that rather than worrying about the first 3 dates, maybe we just need more time to 'break the ice' with each other.

NOPE! We just don't get on - Beneath the surface! Yet we married and also have a little girl of 2 1/2.

I won't say anymore..its too complicated!

Does anyone here have any similar experiences where your relationship reflects what happened in your first 2 - 3 dates?

Posted by Feral_doe
While it's an interesting theory, and there may be some truth to it, it doesn't apply to everyone.

There are people who find it hard to warm up to people, even a person they've agreed to go on date with. They need time to let their true selves come out.

One can only hope that when that happens, the two are either more compatible or remain so.

I dunno.

Hi.

Absolutely. .I agree it doesn't apply to everyone; hence why I said 'does anyone have any similar experiences?'

I wanted to know if other people felt the same way and to share their experiences x. But yeah..everyone is different ?

Posted by Capri-sun
Usually I can tell upon meeting through the 3rd date yes.

Cool! ?

I can't even remember our first few dates ?

Fishbowl memory