I realized..

I don't know HOW to start a SUCCESSFUL relationship. For those of you who have? How? Play hard to get? That seems to get men interested, but as soon as I decide to return it they change their minds. Pursue those I like? Wow that is #1 way to get men to run away. I mean really? Its like a catch 22. So what am I missing?

I think you have to be a whole emotional balanced person for SUCCESSFUL.

To just get a boyfriend. Honestly I don't do shit and it just happens.

According to Elle, she can get a man's phone number in 60 seconds .... because she is a Scorpio.


So, what's your fucking problem?

A Scorpion throwback?

Try looking around you ... you haven't started any successful friendships in here either.

Posted by GemFiregirl33

Posted by P-Angel
According to Elle, she can get a man's phone number in 60 seconds .... because she is a Scorpio.


So, what's your fucking problem?

A Scorpion throwback?

Lol,that's not just Ele,it's every Scorp.
Elle=perpetually single Scorpio woman.

click to expand

Yeah I could get a guy's number in 60 seconds if I wanted to. That does NOT, however, constitute a successful relationship. In case you weren't aware, P-Demon.

What an idiot .....

Posted by P-Angel
Try looking around you ... you haven't started any successful friendships in here either.

You're not being very friendly yourself!

@skykomish, i pm'd ya

Posted by tryandguess

Posted by P-Angel
Try looking around you ... you haven't started any successful friendships in here either.

You're not being very friendly yourself!

click to expand

it's easier to point the finger than see the three pointing back at you. *elaborate shrug*

True true😉

Thanks nimbue. And P-Angel has no idea what she's talking about lmao. I have several REAL friends from dxp, who I've spent hours on the phone with etc. Just showing how ignorant she is.

Posted by ellybd

I think people want you to be what they envision you to be. Ifthat's n a relationship that's what they push. If its single that's what they demand. That's why so often people catch shit for doing what someone wants them to or others think they should do. Because those 'others' don't really know what they want and they experiment through living through others. Very dark when you think about it.

you just gave me food for thought...that's exactly what i've noticed with some people. those who want to live through you...you should never live for them. it's like a web constructed to keep you in your 'station'? very odd.

Posted by Skykomish
I don't know HOW to start a SUCCESSFUL relationship. For those of you who have? How? Play hard to get? That seems to get men interested, but as soon as I decide to return it they change their minds. Pursue those I like? Wow that is #1 way to get men to run away. I mean really? Its like a catch 22. So what am I missing?

Exactly! Be the aggressor if you must! The right man isn't going to run away.

And then just treat them like a dog (or puppy), love 'em, hug 'em, squeeze 'em, kiss 'em and put 'em in their place when they need it 😉 (crates work wonders LOL)

Stop trying to control whether the relationship can be "succesful" or not from the beginning, the process should be as fluid and natural as possible. Besides that, succes is a very relative term that merely serves to define how you feel about something at a particular point in your life, depending on your insecurities of that moment. You may change the way you look at it after some years when you can see the whole picture. It is not a static definition.

Um...Elle...Libra venus..IS the flirt...A libran doesn't want to stay in the same spot for too long..a libra venus is all about the light fun of charming someone, the whole romance aspect..the set up to happily after...it's the journey that's the goal..not the goal that's supposed to be at the end of the journey...er..does that make sense?

Actually, the only libra that could probably want to be in a marriage for ever and ever is a *cough*....Venus in sorpio.....*cough*


Skyomish...first off..in all that youv'e been dating people...have you learned anything? Was their a pattern in how you handled things?

I was constantly getting into a similar pattern with men...I figured out that the common denominator was me...and I changed my approach. I can't tell you what I did, because we aren't the same person, and I don't know what you do...but if for instance...like me...

I am horrible on the phone...at my worst..I will call someone incessantly, not that I am paranoid or anything but that I just really want to hear that person, wanted to hear their voice..etc. BUt I HATE leaving voice messages, so I won't..but I'll keep calling until I get thru.

Yep, that's pretty damn creepy..it didn't deter me from a guy getting with me, but it sure as hell didn't help with growth of a relationship.

So what did I do to counteract something I just feel that I didn't have enough discipline to follow thru..I gave the burden of calling to the man. I would give my phone number out to the guy, (trust, this would ONLY be a guy I really, really liked as in someone I felt 'chemistry with') and I let HIM have the burden of doing the first call. THat way, I don't have to get all psycho with the intial calling...he'll just call me..and I can distract myself or "forget" about him...two, I like the idea of giving that guy a pick me up...where he's like.."hell yah, I got a number from a hot chick."

So in my head, it helps because ...I don't have to worry about weirding a guy out because he misunderstands that I just wanted to talk to him...I can know that he's interested if he calls me...and I can be the one calling hte shots if I do or don't want to talk to him.

We're not all perfect, you just need to know what parts make up you, weakness/strengths et al..and figure how to make it work for you.

And really, if you don't want to compromise yourself, you may have not met the right person that clicked with you yet.

I've had plenty of friends who wore their hearts on their sleeves and kept getting hurt constantly and have every friend (me included) talk about adopting a different approach. But they didn't compromise for shit..they persevered and in the end, they made everyone out to be idiots when they met that perfect someone.

So really, what you can learned could be that you just need to learn how to persevere for that someone.

Posted by Skykomish
I don't know HOW to start a SUCCESSFUL relationship. For those of you who have? How? Play hard to get? That seems to get men interested, but as soon as I decide to return it they change their minds. Pursue those I like? Wow that is #1 way to get men to run away. I mean really? Its like a catch 22. So what am I missing?

I would sure like to know too!!

Posted by lildol
(crates work wonders LOL)

lmao!! xD

Lildol, I think I love you. lol. You are one awesome chick. 😉 My dream for the world.. is for men to live in BOXES. (dog crates?) And we let them out when we want them, then put them back. No drama. No confusion. Just hot sex whenever we want, and personal slaves. Hell they'd be so relieved to be out of the boxes they'll do anything we want! And the assholes just can stay in them and rot.

Thanks everyone for the advice, it was very helpful. Now to apply it...

Eh...you ever think that your mindset about men influences your choices and the end result?

I understand you're bitter..but...

LMAO @ P-Angel hahaha

Posted by TheBeautifulStruggle

Eh...you ever think that your mindset about men influences your choices and the end result?

It's doubtful that she'll get that. I've been trying to tell her for quite sometime, and she thinks it's me ... when in reality, it's her unhappily alone.


funny shit ... people ... but mostly ignorant

Posted by Skykomish
I don't know HOW to start a SUCCESSFUL relationship. For those of you who have? How? Play hard to get? That seems to get men interested, but as soon as I decide to return it they change their minds. Pursue those I like? Wow that is #1 way to get men to run away. I mean really? Its like a catch 22. So what am I missing?

Just be yourself. Let him chase you & let him see that you have it in you to chase him too.

Men do like a challenge but at the same time, they do need to see at some point that you're interested. They do like to know that you're not gonna make him do all the work

Make sure the places/environments you're going are the right places when you're in those stages of getting to know eachother. Go places where your best qualities/traits come out

Ask him questions. Make sure he's asking you questions. Find ways to expose to him the best qualities within you so that 1. He has an incentive to call back tomorrow (intrigued) & 2. So that his crush on you will be more than lust.

Have fun! Don't try to be too serious all the time with him. Show him that you can be 1 of the guys. Cook with him. Watch a football game with him

Find a way to stand out from all the other women in his life (You'll find out exactly what he's looking for if you ask the right questions)

Then once you both stand out to eachother, the relationship will progress naturally. It'll be a natural conversation that both of you feel comfortable having