I love you.

It's probably the most spectacular or the most dreaded three word sentence in any language. The only problem is knowing when to finally say it to your significant other.

I'm kind of having that issue now. I learned over time that love isn't an exact science; it's not always that you wake up one morning suddenly realizing that you've fallen in love with your boyfriend or girlfriend. And sometimes it can be an instantaneous occurrence that changes the outlook of your whole relationship.

For me, now, it's been kind of a slow burn. I've been with my guy for about 6 or 7 months; about a month ago, I was playing around the with the idea of how I felt about him, knowing that I was falling/had fallen pretty hard for him. I wrote him a card telling him how I felt (without saying I love you) and he accepted it graciously. As of now, I find myself saying it in my head, but not feeling heavily confident enough to say it out loud.

Girls have been somewhat conditioned to not say "I love you" first (for what reasons, I don't know why). When I think about how I feel about him, I don't feel that nervous, but when I actually think about saying it out loud, I always clam up. I take this very seriously; I like to wait until I finally understand how I feel. Sometimes I like to take matters into my own hands when I get impatient, but this sort of situation is pretty nerve-wracking of course.

So, when do you guys say "I love you." Especially for the women, do you guys say it first without waiting?

Ah, the dreaded "I love you".... Panic attack inducing.

Obviously this is not the Aries board, so may not be appropriate language here, but I would say it. If it is the truth. Don't die wondering.
Be brave. Make a stand.
If he can't handle a girl who loves him he needs to get out of the way and make room for a guy that can.

Posted by ReallyNiceAriesPerson
Obviously this is not the Aries board, so may not be appropriate language here, but I would say it. If it is the truth. Don't die wondering.
Be brave. Make a stand.
If he can't handle a girl who loves him he needs to get out of the way and make room for a guy that can.

I think I'll keep this thought very close to me, for now and in the future. Damn you aries and your "go get em" attitude. 😛

Posted by 69virgo
My mom always told me,son,if you don't have nothing good to say,don't say nothing at all...I think I'm gonna utilize that option here..😉

Either you have nothing helpful to say here or this is just some cryptic way of saying that I shouldn't hold back, lol.

Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
Ah, the dreaded "I love you".... Panic attack inducing.

I'm better at making food than expressing myself emotionally. I should just bake a cake and leave it there lol.

im a firm believer in not hiding my feelings or holding back. if you say i love you first and it scares the guy away, then you've bought yourself the time you would have wasted and that imo is priceless 😄

I always tell someone I love them if I do. There is nothing frightening or shameful in an emotion that is felt with honesty and from a very good place. Life is short, nothing is absolute nor set in stone. I want those I care about to know I do. I might not be here tomorrow, yeh?

Posted by venusianbull
I always tell someone I love them if I do. There is nothing frightening or shameful in an emotion that is felt with honesty and from a very good place. Life is short, nothing is absolute nor set in stone. I want those I care about to know I do. I might not be here tomorrow, yeh?

i agree! i also don't think that people say i love you enough to their friends so i tell my friends all the time.

Yeah, buuuuuut friendship and family love is different that the BIG SCARY relationship love.

Should I say it first?
Will they say it back?
Should I wait to say it?
Will they say it back?
How will that person react?
Will they say it back?
How should I say it?
Will they say it back?
When should I say it?
Will they say it back?
Will they say it back?
Will they say it back?
Will they say it back?
Will they say it back?

Love is love, no matter whom you feel it for. Whether it is my sisters, my children, my dearest friends, my parents..or the man whose face I hold most dear. Afraid of what? Not one person has an ounce of holding back showing someone else fear, loathing, distaste, cruelty. Unkindness, uncharitable intent. Humor and laughter. Why love? Why is this classed in some scary other wordly sphere? I should far think the scarier of this would be in love gone silent. Someone not knowing how special and cherished they are. All around us is much of the ridiculous, far too much of utter shit. Love..is the absolute pure and the highest high. It asks for nothing accept to be returned.

Posted by blueribbons

Posted by ReallyNiceAriesPerson
Obviously this is not the Aries board, so may not be appropriate language here, but I would say it. If it is the truth. Don't die wondering.
Be brave. Make a stand.
If he can't handle a girl who loves him he needs to get out of the way and make room for a guy that can.

I love how you prefaced this advice.

Baha

Aries motto "Just dooooooooo eht" 🙂

click to expand

This message bought to you by Planet Aries. The home of love.
Jump over - the grass is greener and the sex is better on our side.

Posted by Candeh15

The only problem is knowing when to finally say it to your significant other.

I'm kind of having that issue now.

lol

::: shakes head :::

It?

Sounds like you've already made a determination what 'It' is an now wondering when to say "it"

::: shakes head again :::

Words .. that's all. Apparently words matter to you, because you struggle as to when/what to say them .. and are completely ignorant to the fact that they are just words.

You never have to say them .. but, please, continue to stress over words, because obviously that's more important

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by Candeh15

The only problem is knowing when to finally say it to your significant other.

I'm kind of having that issue now.

lol

::: shakes head :::

It?

::: shakes head ag
Sounds like you've already made a determination what 'It' is an now wondering when to say "it"

ain :::

Words .. that's all. Apparently words matter to you, because you struggle as to when/what to say them .. and are completely ignorant to the fact that they are just words.

You never have to say them .. but, please, continue to stress over words, because obviously that's more important

click to expand

Point taken. I do stress out about words, but I stress out about a lot if one hasn't noticed.

Posted by blueribbons
Ohh.. do you have business cards?

I have a few single friends 😛

Applications being taken now. To good home only!

Oh sorry - I gave you the wrong impression! I am looking for perma sex. Not an hourly thing😉

Male applicants only. Must enjoy sex, good cooking, getting backrubs and receiving goofy care packages while deployed.

There must be at least ONE guy out there who likes this stuff....somewhere

^^^She wants a man who is a Cancer w/ his Moon in Gemini, Venus in Leo and Mars in Scorpio... that about covers it (not sure about the deployed part though) 🙂

Gah!

Who wants a Cancer man? don't mix my order up Lildol!! Not so worried about the astro stuff as long as he is a good guy🙂

Posted by blueribbons

Posted by ReallyNiceAriesPerson
Oh sorry - I gave you the wrong impression! I am looking for perma sex. Not an hourly thing😉

Male applicants only. Must enjoy sex, good cooking, getting backrubs and receiving goofy care packages while deployed.

There must be at least ONE guy out there who likes this stuff....somewhere

Oh lol we are definitely on two different pages lol. Noooo sex offers, I was going to pimp you out! See the difference?

So Cancer with those placements huh?

For some reason I get the impression you already have one 😉 do you?

click to expand

No - that would be Lildol playing funny buggers I think. The Cancer forum kinda scares me - but I am always up for a bit of an adventure!

I want to be able to let her to know that I feel this way without saying it. Not exactly through telepathy...

Extreme "More Than Words"

Posted by Candeh15

Point taken. I do stress out about words, but I stress out about a lot if one hasn't noticed.

People only noticed themselves ...

Sounds like you have effectively made the words more important than the actual feeling ... look at how many people followed suit ...

And no you haven't taken the point, you will continue to regard the words higher than the feeling ... you will not notice him and how he acts lovingly, how he expresses his love .. nope, not really, you'll observe it for a moment as it flies out of the other ear .. so you can make room in yourself to notice yourself freaking out over the words that describe the feelings in him you never noticed deep enough to realize the point to take.

Don't feel alone .... all of you are like this. I'm probably the only person who is actually 100% aware of myself in this world

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by Candeh15

Point taken. I do stress out about words, but I stress out about a lot if one hasn't noticed.

People only noticed themselves ...

Sounds like you have effectively made the words more important than the actual feeling ... look at how many people followed suit ...

And no you haven't taken the point, you will continue to regard the words higher than the feeling ... you will not notice him and how he acts lovingly, how he expresses his love .. nope, not really, you'll observe it for a moment as it flies out of the other ear .. so you can make room in yourself to notice yourself freaking out over the words that describe the feelings in him you never noticed deep enough to realize the point to take.

Don't feel alone .... all of you are like this. I'm probably the only person who is actually 100% aware of myself in this world

click to expand

By "point taken" I meant I have been thinking about what you said since then, and it has helped.

Posted by blueribbons

Playing on radio right now🙂

Neat song.

I love you = hives break out

I love you = hives break out

I love you = hives break out

I love you = hives break out

"I'm probably the only person who is actually 100% aware of myself in this world."

WHAT THE?! LMAO

I love to say I love you.

I think people have said it to me first but not because I wouldn't say it or anything. I just didn't think about it.

I get more nervous hearing " Your perfect for me " Ugh. Take about pressure...

* Talk

Posted by tryandguess
I love you = hives break out

Haaa you are too cute!

Posted by Layna
lol P-Angel put Candeh down for stressing over words right after picking at ONE word Candeh used.

"::: shakes head :::"

😛

Don't be stupid .... Candeh is loved by me, and she is perfectly aware that I don't put her down.

Because you can't understand what was said, I guess due to either deficient or perhaps a resentment that I spoke, you then make a fool out of yourself by attempting to put me down.

She knows what I meant ... as did all the other people who actually "got" what I was saying

Posted by cathy89
It's not about saying it, it's about showing it!

Just like that ^^^^^

Posted by Layna
lol P-Angel put Candeh down for stressing over words right after picking at ONE word Candeh used.

"::: shakes head :::"

😛

I suppose it is a deficient brain afterall, since you said the above.

I love you ... is 3 words, not one.

::: hands Layna a coloring book and pats on head :::

Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
Ah, the dreaded "I love you".... Panic attack inducing.

I'm a fighter and I'm scared as fuck to utter the words with romantic conviction. If the don't say it back I'd be destroyed...... K.O.😢 Someone hold me......

Hahahaha

Posted by cathy89
It's not about saying it, it's about showing it!

Like where you're going with this. That's more my style anyway..

Posted by Sagittarius89

I love to say I love you.

Me also, and tell people all the time.

Thank god my Virgo isn't afraid to tell the people loves, that he loves them ... I thank my lucky stars every day of my life that he is nothing like the misfits in here.

He knows that what happens after he says those words is ... the people he loves knows he loves them.

Thank goodness he is nothing like Layna who is so insecure about it that she says "us" to mean every Virgo .. when in reality, it's just her

Never miss an opportunity to say that if that is truly how you feel, if you feel that way then that is all that matters.

I'm a quick one to love, esepcially if the person in question pushes all the right buttons. I'm not afraid so show that I love someone, but I don't think I will ever use those very words. Too cheesy. Too dramatic. Too much TV.

And this comes from a Leo, right... 😉

Aww... what's your hubbys sign? 🙂

Posted by ellybd
He's probably the first person I have never desired to hear the words from, because he consistently proves it by his attentiveness, willingness to work things out and deepening affection.

All that to say, the actions do matter more than the words.

Realize how special any time you have with him is, don't waste it by putting something so beautiful off.

i love this. i feel the same...

Posted by ellybd
My guy said when we first starteed dating that he had never been in love before. He said he believed love only meant for someone you would die for. Which is really quite accurate when you think about it.

I know I fall for him more and more everyday. I know I'm already in love with him. He's probably the first person I have never desired to hear the words from, because he consistently proves it by his attentiveness, willingness to work things out and deepening affection.

All that to say, the actions do matter more than the words. My exs threw the words around ALL the time. Yet they never compromised or listened to my needs or listened at all really, the basics of what love should entail.

Realize how special any time you have with him is, don't waste it by putting something so beautiful off.

This is how I feel/been feeling. You know, in the long run, I never felt it necessary to say it. I cherish every second I am with him, and I don't think I've gone out of my way for someone this much in my entire life. But I don't even regret it. It's just those random moments where I want to say I love you, but then I hold myself back. I have an odd and stressful problem with verbalising things because past circumstances (not actually having to do with relationships) have sort of conditioned me to hold back; but as P and others have mentioned, it is less about the words themselves and I shouldn't be afraid to express how I feel.

I'm not scared to say it I just think it sounds silly. Pop culture has ruined it for me. Anyway you can say so many other things that will sound so much more powerful than that cheesy phrase. Trust me 😉

Posted by spica

Posted by tryandguess
I love you = hives break out

Haaa you are too cute!

click to expand

Awww thank you 🙂

Scorpios go well together. I know another Scorpio couple, they are in their 50s now and still banging every night. Not that sex is everything..... 😉

Posted by xTasha
why do people dread this— why is it such a big deal just wondering. i honestly don't know :/

my friend and i were just talking about this today, how some guy told her he loved her, and she was also "about to have a panic attack"

perhaps it is the fear of such a deep vulnerability

or maybe just fear of commitment?

Posted by xTasha
what if someone says it to u though, and u don't feel the same way. then what? fear of some kind of responsibility for them??

idk i don't get the big deal...unless it was some super deep shit where they're pouring their heart out in letters and and u don't like them like that, then it would be panic-worthy maybe

well for me it'd just be a fear of hurting them

i love you

oh...*fuck....what do i say*.....

Posted by Candeh15
So, when do you guys say "I love you." Especially for the women, do you guys say it first without waiting?

If I feel it I'll say it. No planning I don't think. Sure, there are consequences lol😄 but I'm not the kind to lump my emotions on others, so I doubt my "I love you" sounds very dreading or heavy. I don't expect anything in return, I give to give.