Is it TRUE?

We've ALL heard the saying, "The way to a man's heart is THROUGH HIS STOMACH."

BUT a recent poll published by AskMen.com stated that if men knew AHEAD OF TIME that their partners could NOT cook (to their standards OR at all), they would've NEVER committed to them! 72% of men said that they place a woman's ability to cook as HIGH in priority/importance as appearance/looks & sex!

And when asked if they'd prefer a woman with a great personality over a woman who was semi annoying BUT yet had the cooking skills of a top CHEF, 66% of men said they'd choose the woman who could cook EVEN if they couldn't even really stand her personality!

What do you guys think!?!?!?!

Of course (to me) this sounds incredibly shallow, BUT hey if men REALLY think this way, wow. I knew cooking was important to them, BUT I had no idea that they'd consider renigging on entering into committments with women who couldn't cook, if they could turn back the hands of time! The poll suggests that EVEN IF a woman has EVERYTHING ELSE going for her, other than cooking, that they'd STILL consider leaving OR never committing if they knew ahead of time.

Crazy thing is, I've NEVER heard of a man leaving a relationship OR cheating & citing "Cooking" as his reasons why! I know most men naturally place some kind of priority on a woman's ability to cook (& especially to HIS standards), but I had NO idea that some men place cooking to be a HIGHER priority than personality! That's crazy!

I've heard of men including their partner's "lack of cooking like she used to/period" as ONE of the reasons they may leave a relationship OR cheat, BUT there's usually 100 other things that bother him too & aid in his decision to either leave the relationship, cheat OR NEVER enter into a committment to begin with.

BUT, I had no idea that a woman who stopped cooking OR doesn't cook "good food" (in HIS eyes) is more likely to be left in the dust moreso than a woman with a nagging personality!!!!

I dont cook i dont enjoy it, and i tell every guy that i get with that i am not domestic at all. I also hate ironing so will not be doing his! If my partner wanted to go "food cheat" on me I would be more then happy to let another woman feed him lol.

No guy has ever really seemed bothered I dont cook, sex has always been more important to them. On the other hand though I like a guy who cooks. Food is the way to my heart 🙂

I like to see women try to cook even If its not the greatest.Personally I love to cook,so when the time comes and Im married, we can tag team it.

I've seen women who hated cooking become interested in cooking after falling for some men... and stopping once they got married, LOL.

I love cooking as long as the recipe calls for less than 12 ingredients. 😛

First, I'd like to say that reading all those stats made me laugh out loud. Really hard. That's fucking ridiculous.Complete and total horseshit.

First. All the people I know (male or female, but especially males) who can't cook are completely content with eating pre-made food, fast food, etc. Some of which REALLY appreciate when someone whips them something tasty up. Where as others are so used to being shit cooks, all their taste buds are trained for is processed, prepacked garbage and wouldn't know a good meal if scalded them in the genitals.

Cooking has nothing to do with gender, it's insane that people expect a certain gender to be better at cooking. More specifically that women should train them self to be excellent culinary artists. I know tons of both genders who know absolute DICK about cooking. I also know a bunch who are equally talented. Christ, it's 2010. Most gender roles in general are silly... but I mean cooking? Come on. Two requirements : #1 Quality ingredients and #2 the ability to follow directions. With the endless void known as the Internet, there's NO excuse to say "I don't know how!"

Any guy who puts a woman's ability to cook well as a pivotal and deciding factor of a relationship is a straight up moron. I LOVE food. If it wasn't for my level of activity and decent metabolism, I'd be a fat blob. I cook ALL the time, I love it! Everyone I cook for seems to enjoy it as well. I fuck with all style s of food, I'm no chef. I just look up recipes and experiment a little. Only things that I've been taught are tsome ethnic euro recipes that go back a few generations from family. Other than those, google does fine.

It's one thing if you just straight up don't enjoy cooking - I can respect that. Cooking takes some passion. However, if cooking is SOOOO important that a relationship depends on it... Then quit being a lazyfucktard and learn to cook yourself!

Damn.

Sorry for the rant, but those stats are embarrassing for the male gender and got me cranked!

So if any ladies out there need a man to cook for them, name your dish and I got your back.

🙂

@Zjv: I completely agree. Problem is though that when they showed the results of the poll, alot of men were saying that the ideal of a woman cooking (or lack thereof) was 1 of those secret deal breakers; in other words, the poll suggested that alot of men are NOT HONEST about how much priority they REALLY put on cooking. So even though I was surprised when I 1st read it, I sat back & thought about it, realizing that it could very well be something alot of men secretely feel is WAY more important than alot of the other things WE WOMEN probably feel SHOULD BE more important.

You're right, gender roles HAVE changed. And it's true that some women purposely won't cook ALL the time b/c they associate cooking with: Old fashioned gender roles (the 1s they are trying to get AWAY from), being submissive, conservative, etc. I think most women still love to cook nowadays, BUT I think that many make it a point not to be suzie homemakers 24-7 strictly b/c they don't want a man to believe that he's committing to something that she really just does b/c SHE wants & loves to do, vs. it women only cooking to satisfy her man.

I also agree about how people are so used to processed foods now. BUT, no matter how "tough" times get & no matter how many MORE restaurants are built, I think the average man would PREFER to eat a HOME-COOKED meal over a tv dinner ANY DAY! And hey, sometimes this desire for home-cooked meals stems more from a man's childhood & relationship with his mother, vs. moreso some men only liking their food a certain way b/c it's their way of being shallow jerks.

I don't necessarily think that a man should place a woman's ability to cook OVER her personality. That's just ridiculous! BUT hey, add "cooking" on to the SHALLOW list of things women/men place a high importance on. It may not make sense to a woman that sex is important to most men BUT hey, it is what it is. It's no diff. than how alot of men don't see why women place such a HIGH priority on romance & cuddling; they'll do it BUT they don't necessarily see why women are so quick to fall head over heels for the guys who are NOTHING more than just great cuddle buddies at night.

Maybe this whole "cooking" this is just another 1 of those things we'll never understand about the opposite sex. Men & women place different priorities on diff. things. What may not mean much OR be a deal breaker to some women may matter 10Xs more to a man.

I love to cook b/c I love to eat TOO vs. only loving to cook b/c it's my way of "keeping my man satisfied." I mean, hello! It's not like men are the only 1's who like a good meal. Women appreciate a good home-cooked meal too, ESPECIALLY since we're often the ones who have to not only learn HOW to cook them BUT to also enjoy them.

They say that men are starting to cook for themselves more than they used to persay 30 years ago. 30 years ago, a man who just got home from getting off work probably expected a full course meal on the table when he got home. Welp, nowadays, a man is considered LUCKY if his wife left him food on the table OR if she's even home before he is. I think this is due to the increase in personal independence; now that women are working the SAME (or longer) hours as men, they don't necessarily have the time to prepare delicious meals.

Whereas it used to be the men who came home exhaused every night from work, now women are coming home fro 9-10 hours shifts everyday too; and if they're BOTH at work all day long, obviously there won't always be be a refreshing meal on the table waiting for them when they get home. I think this bothers the types of men who are still very set in old-fashioned ways. Hell if a man feels he's too "tired" to come home from work & cook himself a meal, he oughta understand that his partner whose ALSO just as tired & getting off from work, is probably NOT in the mood to not only cook a meal for herself nor him either.

The stigma that came with stay-at-home-moms a long time ago was that if a woman was in & around the household all day, there's NO excuse why she wouldn't have meals prepared. BUT, since there are more & more "career moms" nowadays, those men who are still stuck in their ways about how they feel women SHOULD BE are probably a little aggitated that they're not being catered to (cooking wise) when they get home. Sucks for them! But oh well, they might as well get used to it!

I'm glad to know that more & more men are cooking for themselves! Hell, my ex used to cook for US more than I did. And it surprised the hell out of me. Some people even accused him of being GAY b/c of that. Ridiculous. Hell, I was just happy to be catered to & to be with someone who knew how to do what women have been almost "forced" to do for centuries! It felt good to know that someone ELSE other than the WOMAN in the house was okay with doing the cooking!

@krysrenee7

Hell yeah, you're def. right. I agree with you as well. We humans are crazy creatures. I think there will always be shallow/strange/unreasonable desires for the other gender. Things seem to be progressing for the better though these days. I guess it's not accurate for me to state it as just a progression from worse times to better times, it was just a matter of circumstance perhaps. Like you said 30 years ago... Males were considered to be the provider and the female a home maker. This behavior just became the norm and males began to expect it and took this quality as an important trait for being a good homemaker; also a job.

So I guess in the past it was more of just individuals fulfilling roles for a properly functioning family unit. Now that things are much more balanced for what gender needs to do what in order to contribute to a successful family/relationship. Simple things like who is supposed to cook dinner is up in the air, making it a silly gender role thing. I think it will work itself out... hopefully. I mean, it better. Otherwise there's going to be a lot of disappointed, hungry, single men. Haha.

Also. On a side note. Just like your EX, I've gotten ridiculous comments questioning me being gay because I'm comfortable cooking for a female and understand the value in romance or cuddling. I don't get why some guys don't dig those aspects of a relationship too? That shit cracks me up... when people call guys gay when they know how to be sensitive or something other than a leg humping brute. Don't get me wrong, as I thoroughly enjoy sex, drunken fighting, explosions, eating greasy fatty food at 3AM, starting large fires, growing bad ass facial hair, manual labor, laughing at poop/vomit jokes, etc. Excuse us men who know the value in being balanced! Haters are just jealous we can be manly and attract women at the same time. Hahaha. 😄 I think anyone who chooses the polar ex.treme of anything is foolish. Gender roles are no exception.

@ZJV: Perfectly said. You're right...Cooking shouldn't be a woman's JOB; Men would get more meals & wouldn't scare off the women running from traditional gender roles if they instead preferred a woman who enjoyed cookly simply b/c SHE enjoys it along with other things. After all, if she enjoys it herself, there's a good chance she'll share that joy with her man AND their family (kids). BUT like with anything else, if a person feels that their "hobby" is just another BURDEN or "MUST" it takes the fun out of things.

A man in my household would get way MORE meals out of me if he didn't make me/pressure me into thinking that cooking was a JOB or a MUST. After all, I love to cook yes, BUT if I feel that a man won't love me the same OR that he sees me as LESS of "wifey material" all b/c of something he can technically do for his DAMN SELF, then either 1. I won't be with him & I'll let him go find his dream "susie homemaker" somewhere else! OR 2. I'll cook only when I feel like it. If I know that they'll appreciate it simply b/c I love it, I'll naturally cook more.

Being in relationships isn't about "What can YOU do for me that will make me stay & love you more." Sometimes it's not about pleasing the other person; it's ok to only want to do certain things b/c YOU as a person likes to do those things.

I feel the same about stay at home moms. Even though women are swaying from that traditional gender role, there's still NOTHING wrong with the women who choose to remain in those roles. BUT, I don't want to feel bad either if I want to go out there & get a job just like everybody else. If my man can justify that he can't or would prefer NOT to cook all b/c he's too exhausted from his career, I'd like the same consideration & understanding when I get home at night, exhausted. In that case, we'd be having tv dinners or takeout for dinner & if he can't understand that, then oh well! I'd ask him why his "TIRED" was more tiring than my "TIRED" lol

@Caribb...Well I can kinda see why guys aren't honest about this up front. After all, look at how MOST of us responded lol. See, men aren't idiots; they know when to be upfront about their shallowness, while other times they're smart enough (if at all) to let what they TRULY look for in women, slowly but surely be known as the relationship progresses. Ugh, there's nothing more ANNOYING than meeting a man & him giving me a list of "MUST DO's" on the 1st date, & especially if 1 of those "must do's" is cooking. Little does he know, most women STILL love to cook; BUT, they may not like to cook at the pace OR to the standards that HE likes & there IS a difference!

I hate that men & women are so diff but then again I like it too. Women being the YIN & men being the YANG is what brings for great relationships, where 2 people who prioritize 2 completely diff. things can find ways to up the CHALLENGE in making things work.

A man may not start out liking to cuddle & only doing so to please his woman b/c he's assuming that's what ALL women want. BUT hopefully, he'll grow to adapt to & be open-minded about it as time goes on, therefore cuddling won't seem so much like a JOB or BURDEN. If a man grows to like something that's generally only common in the opposite sex, there won't be such a strain on the relationship.

Same goes for women. Granted, some women are even BIGGER horn-dogs than men. BUT, most women don't prioritize sex as highly as men. We've ALWAYS loved sex, BUT once men began taking the fun out of it by making it seem like a woman's ability to be sexual should be just for the purposes of pleasing HIM, that's when things end up changing. I want to please my man sexually b/c I get some enjoyment from it too, NOT b/c it'll be the ONLY way for me to keep him. Hell, it's no secret that there'll be sometimes when sex is the LEAST on my mind & I don't want to have to panic or be worried for those "3" days that I didn't give it up to him. That takes the fun out of relationships.

Point is: Love is supposed to UNCONDITIONAL. But people with all of these "Standards lists" & "MUST HAVEs" are sending the signal that their love will ONLY be uncondition ON certain CONDITIONS. And THAT is the problem! Unless I fill out a job application & W2 for cooking, HELL NO it's NOT something I'd consider a JOB! And if my man WANTS it to be MY job, I hope he's prepared to give me an awesome SALARY & great BENEFITS!

Posted by virg_goki
co-sign caribbeangold.

both parties need to learn to cook. not just the woman as traditionally indicated. I for one believe that if one can contribute to the family in any way, there is never too few ways. just do it co-operatively

DING DING DING! BINGO! In other countries & cultures, "cooking" isn't necessarily considered to be a part of a woman's gender role. Being the primary nurturer or care-giver for the children is something women all across the world are still maintaining, BUT if anything, the ability to cook in other cultures is something that is ONLY considered a person's (men AND women) JOB b/c of it's relevance to SURVIVAL.

In other countries, men who ALSO cook for their partners/families aren't seen as GAY. The ability to EAT & prepare what you're eating is something BOTH men & women see as a primal trait they BOTH oughta learn & possess. In other cultures, a person is loony if they don't learn the methods of SURVIVAL for themselves; but over in the U.S. a man doesn't see "cooking" for himself a means for survival. That's the difference.

The same differences can be seen in men in the U.S. & their thoughts on commitment vs. how men in OTHER cultures place value on committment. In most suburbs of Africa, a man is considered WEAK & is out-cast if he gets a woman pregnant & does NOT marry her. Over here, a man can have 4 children by 3 diff. women & yet not think of marrying a SINGLE 1 of those women. Sometimes, I wish the men in this country had some of the same "family values" that men in other cultures have. And that includes the TRUE importance of cooking.

Hell, not only does my MAN have to eat, BUT shXt, I gotta eat too! And if he's smart, he'd learn the value of being able to ENJOY HIS OWN cooking vs. not making the effort at all & yet still feeling "ENTITLED" to a meal! Ha in other countries, if you don't work, OR cook the food YOURSELF, you don't eat PERIOD!

Posted by zjv

Also. On a side note. Just like your EX, I've gotten ridiculous comments questioning me being gay because I'm comfortable cooking for a female and understand the value in romance or cuddling. I don't get why some guys don't dig those aspects of a relationship too? That shit cracks me up... when people call guys gay when they know how to be sensitive or something other than a leg humping brute. Don't get me wrong, as I thoroughly enjoy sex, drunken fighting, explosions, eating greasy fatty food at 3AM, starting large fires, [growing bad ass facial hair (shout out to Tubby)], manual labor, laughing at poop/vomit jokes, etc. Excuse us men who know the value in being balanced! Haters are just jealous we can be manly and attract women at the same time. Hahaha. 😄 I think anyone who chooses the polar ex.treme of anything is foolish. Gender roles are no exception.

Every once in a while you read a sentence someone else writes and say "That's 100% me too". It very rare indeed to say it about a whole paragraph that is loaded with specific examples. This is one of those rare occasions.

Good descriptions.

To the topic, I don't care if a woman can cook or not. I cook plenty well for the both of us. Yes, I thaw things out the night before, I use a crockpot on occasion, and I make a big pot of soup on Sat morning (while I watch cartoons) to freeze and take to work for lunch for two weeks. I am a stereotype housewife cook... with skills.

I agree, gender roles are silly. Guess what, I am a custodial father too. I also scrub toilets, do laundry, wash dishes, bathe the children, and all kinds of other stuff that the guys in your survey would say is "woman's work" too. Oh, and I don't just do this stuff because I have to, I did when I was married too.

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by zjv

Also. On a side note. Just like your EX, I've gotten ridiculous comments questioning me being gay because I'm comfortable cooking for a female and understand the value in romance or cuddling. I don't get why some guys don't dig those aspects of a relationship too? That shit cracks me up... when people call guys gay when they know how to be sensitive or something other than a leg humping brute. Don't get me wrong, as I thoroughly enjoy sex, drunken fighting, explosions, eating greasy fatty food at 3AM, starting large fires, [growing bad ass facial hair (shout out to Tubby)], manual labor, laughing at poop/vomit jokes, etc. Excuse us men who know the value in being balanced! Haters are just jealous we can be manly and attract women at the same time. Hahaha. 😄 I think anyone who chooses the polar ex.treme of anything is foolish. Gender roles are no exception.

Every once in a while you read a sentence someone else writes and say "That's 100% me too". It very rare indeed to say it about a whole paragraph that is loaded with specific examples. This is one of those rare occasions.

Good descriptions.

click to expand

🙂

I expect him to cook.........but together is fun to 🙂 Cooking is sexy!

Very good points guys.

And hey, I wouldn't mind it if my man could cook himself BUT "PREFERRED" for me to be the MAIN cook of the house. That'd be diff. b/c I'd know up front that he's 1. Atleast CAPABLE of cooking a meal we can all enjoy too BUT also that 2. The household wouldn't be "starved" persay I had a bad day or just simply didn't feel like cooking for awhile. It's the men that sit back & REFUSE to cook simply b/c they refuse to detach from gender roles that can kiss my azs & find a new partner!

The same goes for laundry & other household "chores." I wouldn't mind doing the laundry, BUT I'd actually have a problem with a man who sat back & acted like he didn't know how to do his own. After all, screw the whole "gender role," thing. A GROWN azs man should've been taught how to do his own laundry anyways!

I wouldn't mind mowing the lawn or doing the "handy-man" work like society says most men should supposedly know how to do. Would I prefer that if I get a flat tire that my man change it for me? Well yeah, BUT make no mistake about it, I'd ALSO want to know how to change a tire myself JUST IN CASE.

I may be the only 1 who can breast feed lol BUT it's not like I'd ask my man to do ANYTHING that he's not humanly capable of doing. Just b/c I am the "woman" doesn't mean that my children should only know what being "nurtured" feels like b/c of me ONLY! I'd want my kids to know that DADDY loves them the same. After all, if HE wants to be cooked for or catered to so bad, it's b/c HE knows HOW IMPORTANT those things are to family life. So WHY he wouldn't want to contribute to or give OTHERS the very same things he thinks he can't even live w/o would be very troubling/puzzling to me!

I don't think there should any longer even be a "DIFFERENCE" b/w men & women's roles in the household. Quite frankly, it's not really a "household" if only 1 person is holding down the fort.

If my man's legs fell off in an accident, I'm sure he'd be QUITE OFFENDED if all the things society says only "men should do" weren't done around the house. I'm sure he'd tell my happy azs to do it myself! And the same vice versa! If something were to ever happen to me that would temporarily disable me, I'm 100% POSITIVE my man wouldn't starve himself! I bet he'd think twice about those lame gender roles if he was starving!

@Twin: I agree that you don't technically need to USE every skill you've ever learned on a daily basis (And cooking is 1 of them). So I'm not insinuating that if a man doesn't cook that it must mean he can't or is unwilling to. Technically, I know how to change a tire, BUT that doesn't mean that every time I have a flat I'll change it myself. If my man is more skilled & quicker to do the very same thing I can do, then I'd PREFER him to do it. BUT, make no mistake about it, I can change the damn tire myself. And if he asked ME to, I wouldn't complain or use "gender roles" as an excuse for why I shouldn't have to do something.

I agree that just b/c a man might technically know how to cook for himself, doesn't mean that he should feel obligated to PROVE that every night. BUT the same goes for women. I don't mind it when a man "PREFERS" me to cook if 1. I knew that he'd do the same for me WITHOUT COMPLAINING if I didn't feel like it. It's the men who sit back with "I'm a man & men don't cook" SIGNS on their foreheads that bother me! A man shouldn't see cooking as a BURDEN or another person's JOB unless he's at a RESTAURANT! It's the men who use "gender roles" as their ONLY excuse for why they can't cook me OR themselves a decent meal.

I love to cook with my man in the kitchen with me. I especially love when this happens on holidays b/c it makes for good BONDING time. The teamwork & communication that goes into cooking together is PRICELESS & can really help out a relationship. This is ESPECIALLY why I love cookouts & BBQs b/c men are 10Xs likely to help out & actually NOT mind doing so.

However, there are some meals that I feel I cook better than my man does & I'm sure the same goes vice versa. My man might feel that I cook Italian food a little better than him so when we're in the mood for italian food, I won't mind being the MAIN cook during the weeks/days that we're craving Italian food. On the flip side, my man might make better deserts or breakfast than me, thus I'd EXPECT for him NOT to throw a tantrum & feel as if cooking were a "BURDEN" on the days we both want some breakfast or desert.

And hey, I don't mind being the MAIN cook NOR do I mind cooking the MAJORITY of the meal. If my man can help out with seasoning/flavoring the food OR setting up the table, that'd be good enough. Even if he's responsible for putting the damn food in the oven & taking it out when it's finished, THAT'S fine! I'd expect a little "help" from time to time f

I'd expect a little "help" from time to time from my kids as well. I won't be upset if they can't mix the cookie dough with other ingredients, BUT we'd have a problem if they got attitudes when I asked them to do something as simple as sprinkling the icing on the cookies/cake.

It all comes down to the WILLINGNESS. I won't mind being the main cook AS LONG AS my man/children don't give me dirty looks OR act like they're "too good" when I ask them to help out OR cook for me. I don't mind being the MAIN cook simply b/c I like cooking anyways, whether I'm single or alone. The only difference in cooking when I'm single vs. when I'm in a relationship is the SIZE/PORTIONS of the food. When I'm single, I STILL cook every day, BUT maybe just enough for me. And when I'm taken, I'll cook every day (b/c I've got ta eat too!) BUT cook larger portions. That's it.

In my last relationship, my man & I had a system going: He'd always make the breakfast & I'd always make the lunch/dinner. This wasn't a "rule" BUT since he cooks breakfast better than I do, it only made SENSE that he'd cook the breakfast. After all, HE'S not the only 1 whose gonna want to ENJOY the food on the table. I WANT TO ENJOY IT TOO! And since he always got to cook the things HE personally liked tasting/eating, he didn't feel like doing so was a "burden." Now had I always asked him to cook the very things I knew he felt HORRIBLE cooking/eating, that'd be diff.

I'm noticing that men nowadays want CREDIT for being able to cook & the meal actually taste GOOD! Men are using "cooking" as a tool for romance (bed in breakfast, or preparing dinner & wine for his crush, etc.) so that's always a GOOD thing. That means that men are finding ways to enjoy not only the cooking BUT ALSO the sentimental value behind it. There's just something TOUCHING about putting your ALL into a meal for the person who means EVERYTHING to you. And I'm glad that men nowadays seem to feel doing so is just as rewarding as being catered to.