Keeping YOUR MAIDEN (guys)

I've always wondered....How do men feel about the women who want to KEEP their own MAIDEN/LAST NAMES too, once married?

I've heard that some men take this as a form of disrespect while others completely understand a woman doing so b/c of her desire to "keep" something she feels means alot to her.

Guys...If you were engaged/married to Jane Smith (example), how would you feel if she took YOUR last name but yet decided to keep the "SMITH" also?

I've always been curious to know why some women have names like, "Cheryl Smith Davidson!" I know for some men, the idea that a woman would take on HIS last names means ALOT to him & is HIS way to continue on carrying his family name/legacy.

I know men especially feel this to be important when it comes to their own CHILDREN; men who actually CLAIM their own children tend to feel VERY adament about their sons/daughters having THEIR last name, whether they are still having relations with their child's mother or not

Posted by Shaka_laka_boomboom
It shouldn't be any other way. The fact that a woman marries me doesnt mean she's supposed to erase her own family name for me too, whatever floats her boat.

Awesome. Would you feel the same "understanding" if that very same woman decided NOT to give YOUR kids YOUR last name? Or would there be some confusion there?

Posted by Shaka_laka_boomboom
Personally I've NEVER EVER heard of a woman not wanting the kids to use the father's last name too, those cases represent most probably a pretty small minority.

Well, I think it's more common to see this when 2 people are no longer together OR as a tactic for revenge. 2 years ago, I almost passed out when I overheard a woman in the hospital saying that since her newborn child's father wasn't acting right, she was going to PUNISH him by NOT giving the child his last name! Oh boy, when he heard this, he FLIPPED! He practically kissed her azs until she finally agreed that she'd put HIS last name on THEIR child's birth certificate instead of hers! Crazy!

My cousin was talking to me about this the other day. she is no longer with the father of her children, and was saying that when she marries she would want all her children to have the same name (assuming she would have a child with her new husband) so she would want to change the childrens last name from the dads to her new married name, slightly off topic i suppose but I know that this is DEFINATELY going to cause some issues the the childrens dads.

Yeah. Makes no difference to me. I can totally dig the fact someone wants to keep their family name. Whatever works for the lady is fine with me.

I wouldn't want a woman that even considers getting rid of her own name.

well, my libra ex could have cared less either way but i know for a fact that he wanted our son to have his last name. all hell would have broken loose had i given our son my maiden name.

my cancer man is somewhat old fashioned when it comes to marriage. i have a sneaking suspicion that he would want me to use his last name. if it were important for me to keep mine then i don't think he would put up too much of a fight although he'd be disappointed. i think, in his mind, he would want me to use his as it symbolizes, and is written proof of, our bond. he'd probably never admit it, or doesn't consciously realize it, but i'm sure he sees me as some form of property. i'm ok with that 😉

I kept my maiden name

My auntie and uncle both changed their names when they got married, they just picked a name they liked and both had it. They are strange though, they also had wedding watches instead of rings— lol

If I could do it again I would NOT take his name........speaking from experience, it's more paperwork when you divorce.

Don't believe I'll marry again but if I do it will not happen this time.

@Toos: Oh wow, I've never heard of marriage resulting in the HUSBAND changing his last name over to hers. And hey, I'm sure his wife probably was a doosy, BUT hey, atleast she was honest. When I 1st read this, my 1st thought was that her wanting him to convert over to her last name was incredibly shallow. After all, she didn't have to INSULT his last name as a means of justifying why she wanted to keep her own.

BUT...now that I think about it, women can get attached to & feel a strong sense of attachment to family legacy just like men can/do. Sure, "TRADITION" says that women change their last names to their husband's, BUT nowadays, this thing called "Tradition" is starting to fade away! Hell, now the WOMEN are proposing to the men!

I have a unique last name & 1 that I actually dread "letting go" of when I get married. I love that my last name isn't common & that when I was growing up, it was often easy for people to always remember me simply b/c my last name was so unique/different. So, if I were to get married, I'd actually be the woman who'd attach my maiden name along with my husband's last name too. That way, I'd still feel like I was somewhat following "tradition" while yet being honest about the fact that I simply LOVE my last name. And I hope that my future husband would understand this.