bkbella86
@bkbella86
14 Years5,000+ PostsAries
Comments: 3 · Posts: 7849 · Topics: 52
Ive seen this topic before but
Posted by CluelessCancer
I don't ROAM with HOEZ. Allergic.
lol but CC what if this was your friend since hs?
Posted by SugarAries
My Pisces cousin was cheating with her soon-to-be Husband's cousin. She also slept with his worst enemy. I confronted her about it and she blew up at me because she felt guilty. I told her exactly how I felt about it. She tried to guilt trip me by saying "I thought out of everyone, you would be on my side." I said "I am on our side, that's why I'm telling you what you're doing is out of character and you need to check yourself and ask yourself why you're doing this"
we didn't speak for a while but she told me she stopped doing it. I don't wanna know her business like that anymore. If people have those types of secrets, it's for the best that I don't know.
I dont even wanna talk about shit anymore. I have given my opinion about this crap every year for like 6 years. It wont change. She is dead wrong but why must she talk about it?
Posted by Perspicacity
Sad fact. We often do look the other way when our friends are doing things we disapprove of. I've made that mistake a lot. Lately I'm beginning to grow a pair and really voice my opinion when I see someone behaving badly or mistreating/cheating/doing wrong generally. If someone's making a mess of their lives, it will ultimately catch up with them in the end. I would not condone or support that kind of behavior. Maybe distance yourself from her? She'll eventually get the picture when she's got no one in her life. At the end of the day you can't live someone else's life for them. People who are caught up in those situations seldom listen to good advice.
i look away for most things but this shit is ridiculous. And she had involved her friends by lying to her bf saying she is with us..I dont like that
anyone else been thru this?
I'd tell him/her to get a new friend. I don't support douchebags.
Perhaps person was set up to cheat unknowing by someone dick who claims to be a friend but really an enemy in disguise hey bkbella86?
If this was the case, bkbella86, I wouldnt support douchebags either, aquarius09.
Posted by mfwb55
Perhaps person was set up to cheat unknowing by someone dick who claims to be a friend but really an enemy in disguise hey bkbella86?
Set up to Cheat? What do you mean?
Posted by aquarius09
I'd tell him/her to get a new friend. I don't support douchebags.
You would end the friendship?
Posted by bkbella86Posted by aquarius09
I'd tell him/her to get a new friend. I don't support douchebags.
You would end the friendship?click to expand
You are the company you keep. Can't have that douche reflect on me.
Oh, and I wouldn't just end the friendship. I'd give my friend an earful on ethics101 and then end the friendship.
@Bkbella
You said yourself that your other friend is a cheater as well, so don't be so surprised that she herself condones cheating to other girls. Birds of a feather really do flock together in these sorts of situations
I hardly believe that her fianc? doesn't know or hasn't ever suspected it. If she's cheating on him hardcore like you say, she's done left some damn clues! The misconception is that if a man/woman is still with that person, then they must possibly not know. Bull. A lot of women/men know but for their OWN shallow/selfish reasons decide to overlook it or go willingly into denial
Her saying that her cheating was a mistake is bull. 1 time is a mistake. 1,000 times or cheating that last for long periods of time is NOT a mistake. It's bad choices that you make over and over and over and over again. It's not until someone gets caught or gets a damn STD that they trivialize it & shrink their enormous poor decisions as mere "small mistakes." BULL
You've been verbal about her cheating so much before. Why stop now that she is finally in that phase where people start to regret their actions? This is the BEST time to stick it to her, b/c this might be the only time she actually listens & takes it to heart. When people get STDs, sh**t gets real! And when sh**t gets real, people are more likely to listen
She's not only cheating b/c she lacks morals, but also b/c she's got a high level of arrogance simply b/c she's probably just as surprised as everybody else that she's been able to get away with it for so long. That greed in her will kill her eventually. Getting too greedy & over-doing it is every cheater's downfall.
Are you contemplating on telling the fianc?? Are you contemplating ending the friendship with her?
You said yourself that your other friend is a cheater as well, so don't be so surprised that she herself condones cheating to other girls. Birds of a feather really do flock together in these sorts of situations
I hardly believe that her fianc? doesn't know or hasn't ever suspected it. If she's cheating on him hardcore like you say, she's done left some damn clues! The misconception is that if a man/woman is still with that person, then they must possibly not know. Bull. A lot of women/men know but for their OWN shallow/selfish reasons decide to overlook it or go willingly into denial
Her saying that her cheating was a mistake is bull. 1 time is a mistake. 1,000 times or cheating that last for long periods of time is NOT a mistake. It's bad choices that you make over and over and over and over again. It's not until someone gets caught or gets a damn STD that they trivialize it & shrink their enormous poor decisions as mere "small mistakes." BULL
You've been verbal about her cheating so much before. Why stop now that she is finally in that phase where people start to regret their actions? This is the BEST time to stick it to her, b/c this might be the only time she actually listens & takes it to heart. When people get STDs, sh**t gets real! And when sh**t gets real, people are more likely to listen
She's not only cheating b/c she lacks morals, but also b/c she's got a high level of arrogance simply b/c she's probably just as surprised as everybody else that she's been able to get away with it for so long. That greed in her will kill her eventually. Getting too greedy & over-doing it is every cheater's downfall.
Are you contemplating on telling the fianc?? Are you contemplating ending the friendship with her?
Posted by krysrenee7
@Bkbella
You said yourself that your other friend is a cheater as well, so don't be so surprised that she herself condones cheating to other girls. Birds of a feather really do flock together in these sorts of situations
I hardly believe that her fianc? doesn't know or hasn't ever suspected it. If she's cheating on him hardcore like you say, she's done left some damn clues! The misconception is that if a man/woman is still with that person, then they must possibly not know. Bull. A lot of women/men know but for their OWN shallow/selfish reasons decide to overlook it or go willingly into denial
Her saying that her cheating was a mistake is bull. 1 time is a mistake. 1,000 times or cheating that last for long periods of time is NOT a mistake. It's bad choices that you make over and over and over and over again. It's not until someone gets caught or gets a damn STD that they trivialize it & shrink their enormous poor decisions as mere "small mistakes." BULL
You've been verbal about her cheating so much before. Why stop now that she is finally in that phase where people start to regret their actions? This is the BEST time to stick it to her, b/c this might be the only time she actually listens & takes it to heart. When people get STDs, sh**t gets real! And when sh**t gets real, people are more likely to listen
She's not only cheating b/c she lacks morals, but also b/c she's got a high level of arrogance simply b/c she's probably just as surprised as everybody else that she's been able to get away with it for so long. That greed in her will kill her eventually. Getting too greedy & over-doing it is every cheater's downfall.
Are you contemplating on telling the fianc?? Are you contemplating ending the friendship with her?
yes im contemplating at this point. im so tired of her drama and bs and behavior with this situation. Its been the same story since we reconnected back in 2006. and she is the one causing the drama. I have no qualms with telling her about herself but I dont wanna do it thru text but I also dont wanna call her on some "let me tell you about yourself"...thats just going out of my way to me. My other friend isnt a cheater tho but she just cant keep it real and i dont think she ever has. I dont care if I hurt her feelings.
@BKbella: If all the other areas in your friendship are slacking, then maybe it is time to let the friendship go
If you guys no longer have anything in common, or if you've both grown apart & are not on the same level, then maybe it is time to let the friendship go. Just like couples outgrow each other & start to clash b/c they're no longer on the same level/have the same morals/have the same priorities, friendships are no different.
The point of a relationship is to have someone whom you can relate to, is on your level & someone you have lots in common with? Well, the same is true for friendships. You're not obligated to stay friends with someone just b/c you've known them for a long time, no different than you're not obligated to stay in a relationship that has ran it's course.
However if this is the only way she's irritating you, then I'd call you petty for calling off the friendship as a whole.
Imagine if the tables were turned. Imagine if you were to make a few bad decisions or exercise poor judgment with a man or others...would you want all your friends to drop you?
Friends don't have to think alike, do everything alike & live their life the exact same way as you in order for them to be considered "real friends." If you're the kind of person who thinks so, cool, drop the friendship.
It seems you are very emotionally connected/affected by the hurt she causes others, even though she's not personally hurting you. Understandable. It's almost like you're reacting so strongly as if you were the very 1 getting played (like her fianc?) lol
Maybe you should just refrain from talking about "him" or anything pertaining to her promiscuous sexscapades. I had to tell a friend once not to talk to me about her relationship anymore b/c seeing how low she was willing to go to be with/save a relationship resulted in me starting to lose respect for her as a person. She respected my wishes & we've still kept our friendship since.
So it all depends on how valuable her friendship is to you. If she's not enhancing your life in any way, then let the friendship go
If you guys no longer have anything in common, or if you've both grown apart & are not on the same level, then maybe it is time to let the friendship go. Just like couples outgrow each other & start to clash b/c they're no longer on the same level/have the same morals/have the same priorities, friendships are no different.
The point of a relationship is to have someone whom you can relate to, is on your level & someone you have lots in common with? Well, the same is true for friendships. You're not obligated to stay friends with someone just b/c you've known them for a long time, no different than you're not obligated to stay in a relationship that has ran it's course.
However if this is the only way she's irritating you, then I'd call you petty for calling off the friendship as a whole.
Imagine if the tables were turned. Imagine if you were to make a few bad decisions or exercise poor judgment with a man or others...would you want all your friends to drop you?
Friends don't have to think alike, do everything alike & live their life the exact same way as you in order for them to be considered "real friends." If you're the kind of person who thinks so, cool, drop the friendship.
It seems you are very emotionally connected/affected by the hurt she causes others, even though she's not personally hurting you. Understandable. It's almost like you're reacting so strongly as if you were the very 1 getting played (like her fianc?) lol
Maybe you should just refrain from talking about "him" or anything pertaining to her promiscuous sexscapades. I had to tell a friend once not to talk to me about her relationship anymore b/c seeing how low she was willing to go to be with/save a relationship resulted in me starting to lose respect for her as a person. She respected my wishes & we've still kept our friendship since.
So it all depends on how valuable her friendship is to you. If she's not enhancing your life in any way, then let the friendship go
It's very hard though to be friends with someone who can treat others so badly.
It's kind of like in high school when we all had that 1 friend who talked crap about all her other friends. You know, the girl in the group that always told everybody's business. It's all fun & games until her lack of morality starts to affect YOU! It's all fun & games until she does the same thing to YOU!
Just like there are certain things/levels we'd have to have in common (views on kids, marriage, monogamy, values, religion, etc.) before I'd consider being in a relationship with a man, the same rings true for my friendships too. It's ok for us all to be different but if we're so different that we spend more time arguing than actually enjoying the friendship, then it's time to pack up & move on
I'm 1 of those people who believes that how 1 treats others speaks volumes & is an indication of how they'll treat you. If they'll lie to everybody else, they'll lie to you too. If they'll tell everybody else's business, they'll tell yours too. If they steal from everybody else, they'll steal from you too. If they are dishonest enough to cheat on and/or do the man they love wrong, then they'll do me wrong in another type of way too
If your friend can be so fiercely DISLOYAL to the man she claims she loves, then everybody else in her life doesn't stand a chance! If you can treat badly the person you love the most, then why would others whom you love less be treated any better? The person you love should get the best treatment, not the worst!
Your friend sounds like the type of girl that would sleep with your man when no one is looking. She's dishonest with others and herself & delusional enough to pull something like that off smh
It's kind of like in high school when we all had that 1 friend who talked crap about all her other friends. You know, the girl in the group that always told everybody's business. It's all fun & games until her lack of morality starts to affect YOU! It's all fun & games until she does the same thing to YOU!
Just like there are certain things/levels we'd have to have in common (views on kids, marriage, monogamy, values, religion, etc.) before I'd consider being in a relationship with a man, the same rings true for my friendships too. It's ok for us all to be different but if we're so different that we spend more time arguing than actually enjoying the friendship, then it's time to pack up & move on
I'm 1 of those people who believes that how 1 treats others speaks volumes & is an indication of how they'll treat you. If they'll lie to everybody else, they'll lie to you too. If they'll tell everybody else's business, they'll tell yours too. If they steal from everybody else, they'll steal from you too. If they are dishonest enough to cheat on and/or do the man they love wrong, then they'll do me wrong in another type of way too
If your friend can be so fiercely DISLOYAL to the man she claims she loves, then everybody else in her life doesn't stand a chance! If you can treat badly the person you love the most, then why would others whom you love less be treated any better? The person you love should get the best treatment, not the worst!
Your friend sounds like the type of girl that would sleep with your man when no one is looking. She's dishonest with others and herself & delusional enough to pull something like that off smh
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
Ladies, if he is NOT your man and/or if he's telling you that he does NOT want a relationship then adjust or re-adjust y
OR ARE YOU JUST CONFORTABLE AND TO INVESTED TO START OVER?
Know your s.o. was unfaithful or would you rather stay oblivious. Co-worker and I were talking. . Found out her s.o
Ex, the person who bullied you in school or the person whose hurt you the most. What do you have to say to me? Let it
So if a girl is a slut b/c she sleeps around, what does that make YOU, the person dumb enough to sleep with her, thus ex
After reading thread after thread of people complaining of the famous disappearing act, I came to the realization that a
Women often marry or tend to attract men that are like their fathers (even if the traits are negative)...? And men us
Don't you love it when you see couples who try to match each other's clothing? (matching colors, matching style of cloth
What are your power struggles within your relationship? How is it/has it effected your relationships? Are the roles
Turn on you... Let's say your BEST FRIEND asked you what your opinion was on his/her relationship. The relationship i
My fella and I had been together 3 months (obviously the lust stage) when we moved in together. We have been bickering a
That unless you have kids within the next 6 months, you won't ever be able to have them. Assume that you don't have anyo
Yale just released a study of over 300,000 couples & these are the results: 86% of men who are just in a relationshi
Have you proposed? Been proposed to? How was it done? List the sun, venus, mars and moon signs of the one who propos
Why do we always take it so personal? Why are we offended that a person is doing us the favor of not wasting our time
Let's say you were dating a man for a while and, let's say for a couple of months now. You know he goes on porn sites on
In your life, which of these do you prioritize on a scale of 1-8 (1 being the MOST important, 8 being the LEAST importan
My ex-gf (Taurus) broke up with me (Libra)about 6 weeks ago. Shes 19 and i just turned 20. We lived together for over a
My friend that ive known for over 10 years has been cheating on her bf for almost of their relationship. She basically lives like a single girl when she isn't around him and from what iv'e witnessed has little to no guilt about it. I have told her how i felt about it and we have had disagreements about it. She told me she was very mad at me at one point a few years back for voicing my opinion on it. But i had to tell the truth. My other friend on the other hand coddles her and basically lies to her and to me supports her fucked up behavior. She has cheated several times and the last one she even attempted to start a new relationship but it didnt work out because the dude isnt financially as stable as he current lover whom is also now her fiance. he proposed to her this past Spring. So she decided her best bet was to stay with the fiance.
So last week she texted both of us in a groupchat thats how we all keep in touch one of my friends lives in another state. She said she had gotten some results from the doc and was worried because they wouldnt tell her what was wrong until this week. So today she text us letting us know she has an STd. I asked her if she told the guy and she said she told her fiance and her ex lover. then she said that her fiance didnt even question her infidelity. Then she went on to say i dont deserve him blah blah blah. And I agree with her but thats where I stopped responding...and im not really sure what to say. But then my other friend is over here gassing her up and I sense some passive aggressiveness in their last few text. the cheater wrote a whole paragraph about persecuting herself the whole week for her past behaviors and my other friend is like "you do deserve him, thats love". I almost jumped through the phone. Then she went on to say every one makes mistakes and all this other bs that doesn't relate to this situation. I still havent responded. Then the cheater said thanks so much to my ther friend for being so supportive...lol
are they serious? I cannot lie to people no matter who they are I cannot act like her behavior hasnt been poor all this time why do some people give passes to people just cause they are their friends or because they dont wanna hurt someones feelings? I mean if it were the other way around we would be sitting around talking about how worthless the dude is.
What would you do tho?