would you rather...

Know your s.o. was unfaithful or would you rather stay oblivious.

Co-worker and I were talking. . Found out her s.o of 3 years was cheating for almost most of their relationship. She is obviously hurt but more upset that she didn't find out before or that the other woman didn't tell her. I asked her if she sure that she would really have wanted to hear it from the other woman and if she did. ..she wouldn't have believed her.

What say you?

Find out from s.o., third party or not at all?
And once you found out. .who would you take it out on?

I would be glad that she told me. That's disgusting being in the dark about a situation where your significant other is sleeping around with other women. I would first do some investigative work before i would confront him about it. You never know if the person who told you might just want to create drama. If some how I find out its true I would def take it out on my significant other he's at fault for being a whore.

I'd rather find out from my partner 1st.

But the reality though is that most cheaters go out of their way to hide that they cheated, not expose that they did lol so realistically, unless you walked in & caught the SOB red handed, the only other option would be to find out from a 3rd party

I wouldn't be so quick to disbelieve a 3rd party. Depends on who they are & what they tell me. The worst impression you can ever give a man is that if you were to find out he was cheating, you wouldn't believe it. If he ever plans on cheating on you, he'll def. keep that in mind!

I'd def. think it through & see how many details the 3rd party knows. Even if they don't know much, it still doesn't mean that the cheating didn't happen. Cheaters often lie to the other woman too so it'd all depend.

I'd be devastated though. But I'm not the kind of woman who would be upset that the cheater didn't tell me. Cheating is a higher form of dishonesty. If they were dishonest enough to cheat, why expect for them to suddenly have morals & be honest when it's time to confess? Unrealistic.

I hate when girls get valuable/life-changing information & automatically assume that the motive behind telling her was jealousy or something bad.

9 times outta 10, if your man has a bunch of women always trying to convince you that he's a cheater, AT LEAST 1 of them is telling the truth & 1 is enough. And if none of it's true, then I'd believe my man was doing SOMETHING that made a bunch of women so mad that they felt they had to stoop to the low level of trying to ruin our relationship

I'm all about trusting my husband & not believing every rumor but I'm not stupid either. I'm aware of the statistics. I'm aware that some cheaters leave clues, while others don't. And I'm aware that other women try to "help" women out all the time, but may fear doing so all b/c they're afraid that the wife/girlfriend will turn on them

I'd only turn on the other woman if I found out for a fact that she was not telling me the truth. But even still, I'd have some hard questions for my husband as to why other women suddenly decided to pick his name out of a phone book & ruin his marriage/life

And his reaction would probably tell me everything I need to know

I would prefer to find out from my S.O., if i had one that is. Ok like if I was still with my ex and he was 'cheating' I would prefer to find out from him if he was or not during the time we were together. I mean if he was it would answer alot of questions and if he wasnt it still would answer alot of questions despite the fact the marriage was a lie to begin with. Yeh so it would immensely if ppl were honest about what they were putting him and I through and of course, the BIG question, WHY?

"It would *help* immensely"

Yeh and I would want to find out now if he was or not, as I want to understand why I was going thru what I went thru and all the crap that goes with a fucking relationship?

If you ppl could help would be much appreciated... anyone?

This is why I never bother with relationships in the first place as there are no decent ppl to found anywhere. Full of shit. All of them.

KNOW. Being played for a fool angers me.

I wouldn't take it out on anyone, I'll just leave. Blowing up on people won't change the facts, but he better NOT try to convince me to stay..that'll light my fuse BIG TIME.

Every woman whose ever been told by a 3rd party that her man was cheating may not have believed it at 1st or ever, BUT that seed/thought will always be in the back of her mind! ALWAYS!

Even if the 3rd party was a crazy ex or an unreliable source.....once that seed is planted, it will never go away! It never goes away b/c it turns into a "what if" & people never completely block out "what ifs"

Posted by WaterCup
KNOW. Being played for a fool angers me.

+1

It's realistic to PREFER your partner confess to cheating

It's UNREALISTIC to expect a cheater to expose themselves to you. I'm sure some do confess, but most don't. Why would they?! They went through all that hoopla to hide it, why would they undo all that work & tell you

It's realistic to PREFER your partner confess to cheating

It's UNREALISTIC to expect a cheater to expose themselves to you. I'm sure some do confess, but most don't. Why would they?! They went through all that hoopla to hide it, why would they undo all that work & tell you

Know the truth, regardless from whom. Staying oblivious serves me not.

Even if the truth hurts, I will respect that person in the long run for having the guts to come clean.

Posted by aquapiscescusp
Even if the truth hurts, I will respect that person in the long run for having the guts to come clean.

I'll have leniency for whoever comes clean with. I need to know the truth so I can dump the loser. It would be futile to seek the truth if you aren't going to do anything to address it/his douche behavior.

I would prefer to remain blissfully ignorant.

Posted by SpiceNSugar
I would prefer to remain blissfully ignorant.

why?

ohh pretty cool, don't know, it sure looks like it!

Aqua09, where is that beach shot?

Posted by aquapiscescusp

Posted by SpiceNSugar
I would prefer to remain blissfully ignorant.

why?

click to expand

It would hurt too much to know the truth. Therefore I prefer to be in the dark on this matter.

Posted by SpiceNSugar

Posted by aquapiscescusp

Posted by SpiceNSugar
I would prefer to remain blissfully ignorant.

why?

It would hurt too much to know the truth. Therefore I prefer to be in the dark on this matter.

click to expand

Is that the same as saying you can do what you want but I don't want to know?

Perhaps but... USE A CONDOM... LOL

Posted by SpiceNSugar
Perhaps but... USE A CONDOM... LOL

ahahahahaha got ya

Posted by everevolvingepithet
Is that the same beach but at opposing ends, you 2 aquas? :-?

Good observation! I noticed after you mentioned. What's up with aquas and beach walk?!!

Posted by aquapiscescusp
Aqua09, where is that beach shot?

This was taken on a beach in Vancouver 😉

Lund?