Men with Kids - worth considering?

Would you consider dating a guy with extra baggage (his kids) while you have no baggage of your own? Is it worth to date such a man?

Any Opinions and experiences will be appreciated!

I would stay open to the idea and not be totally turned off. Most people who marry will eventually divorce and be single again with children-it could happen to anyone. However, depending on your age I see no problem with preferring to meet someone who is childless. Personally, I have no desire to reproduce ever again in this lifetime, so its beneficial for me to meet someone who already has children and doesnt want more. I would welcome a ready-made family, but I have no intention of being anyones biological mother.

Depending on the type of person you are. If it doesn't work out, it can be much harder to walk out of kids lives than to walk out of the actual partner's. It is possible though when the couple is mentally mature. I personally think it works better when the two sides have children and they get together.

""I hope you don't carry yourself like this in real life.""


I doubt it. She would be dead by now, or in a psych ward if that were the case.

Nowadays, it is quite common for single people to have children. So, if you decided to avoid dating men with kids, you'd be limiting yourself greatly. It depends, of course, on the individual circumstances. Let's say the guy has 4 kids with 4 different mothers- that's very telling. Also, I would examine the relationship the guy has with his children's mother. This could help to give you insight into his character and the future of a possible relationship.

"It depends, of course, on the individual circumstances. Let's say the guy has 4 kids with 4 different mothers- that's very telling. Also, I would examine the relationship the guy has with his children's mother. This could help to give you insight into his character and the future of a possible relationship."

I agree wit that. I assess future potential in a similar manner, for men it's a bit different in the sense that children are most likely to be with the mother. So facing a single mother I can look at home stability as well, which you can't really do with a single father, unless he has custody.

What if you give it a go with him, it doesnt work out, but youve become very attached to his kids, and vice versa?
Could be a bit messy!

It's not a deal breaker, but yes, taking thing slow is very important. Moreover, the ability of the man to take it slow is a huge indicator of their potential in my life. For example, I recently dated a man with 2 sons. It was new to me to date somebody with kids, but again, not a deal breaker.

Then, he offers for me to come with home with him for Thanksgiving. I knew when I was the one to wonder how his kids might react about it that he wasn't the one for me. I don't think introductions to kids should be taken lightly or that it should happen too soon. We had only been dating 2 weeks at that point.

A girlfiend I work with was just asked out on a FIRST date by a guy with 2 kids. He wants the kids to come along. ON THEIR FIRST DATE. Huge red flags waving.

" you also have to deal with their past woman or women as well so thats always where the issue is. I dont have any kids myself and sometimes i do think it is best for people that do should just date each other. "

I second that

I think the only people who understood my question were laydbak and unusual Cancer! Thankyou guys! Yes, I don't mean the kids are 'baggage' in a nasty way. Rather it is the whole package a guy comes with! You love the guy and obviously you'd love his ex-family too. But then what to do if his kids don't like you? Or his ex-wife is a constant bitch nagging him all the time, and he's financially bound to feed everyone else attached to him? I don't want to hurt him or his kids by getting involved and then leaving them all!

Virgogotme, I'm not being mean or nasty! But can you help whom you fall in love with? However, I think I'm just being realistic that's all before plunging into a relationship.I'm doing a wise thing to actually voice out my concerns BEFORE getting involved further!

coming from a single mother, still friends with my son's father, i can say that it can be a very worthwhile experience; it may surprise u! that "baggage" can really make one see life from a different perspective. they change a peson's life, sometimes for the best. my son's dad is a good catch and many women would be lucky to date him. of course he has his quirks but we all do. the love that he shows our son should be an excellent indicator of what a truly honorable and warm man he can be.