candyapples88
@candyapples88
15 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 318 · Topics: 6
Men's excuses for wanting NO relationship
Honey, half the men who use those excuses DON'T really believe their own excuses.
If they say they're too busy for a relationship, I say:
"Well that's weird. Some of the most wealthiest, busiest & most focused men in the WORLD had time for a relationship/family so what's your excuse?" Their response: Silence!
Even people who had the worst upbringing and/or worst circumstances STILL chose to rise above it all & stop making excuses. Some of the most wealthiest, successful, driven & best men came from the WORST circumstances. They came from dysfunctional or poor households and/or faced the most challenges growing up. But yet THEY don't seem to have a problem snatching up a good thing when they see one.
My dad always told me that in life, you NEVER throw good things off your plate when your plate if full. No, instead you just get a bigger plate.
Some of the busiest, successful, wealthy and/or focused men have time for families. They somehow fit a loving girlfriend/wife into their busy schedules just like they made room for their careers, hobbies, children, or video games!
Some men are even afraid of commitment b/c they fear being "tied down" or see commitment as more of a burden than a blessing. My response? "Honey, it takes 120Xs the effort to find/please ONE girl than it does trying to juggle 5 women at the same time! All the benefits you're trying to suck out of 5 women could all be given to you from ONE good woman if you actually trusted YOURSELF enough to find AND keep her. Smh
I swear, men experience 10Xs MORE drama, heartache, heartache/heartbreak & problems when juggling women they're not committed to vs. the amount they do when they actually commit.
If they say they're too busy for a relationship, I say:
"Well that's weird. Some of the most wealthiest, busiest & most focused men in the WORLD had time for a relationship/family so what's your excuse?" Their response: Silence!
Even people who had the worst upbringing and/or worst circumstances STILL chose to rise above it all & stop making excuses. Some of the most wealthiest, successful, driven & best men came from the WORST circumstances. They came from dysfunctional or poor households and/or faced the most challenges growing up. But yet THEY don't seem to have a problem snatching up a good thing when they see one.
My dad always told me that in life, you NEVER throw good things off your plate when your plate if full. No, instead you just get a bigger plate.
Some of the busiest, successful, wealthy and/or focused men have time for families. They somehow fit a loving girlfriend/wife into their busy schedules just like they made room for their careers, hobbies, children, or video games!
Some men are even afraid of commitment b/c they fear being "tied down" or see commitment as more of a burden than a blessing. My response? "Honey, it takes 120Xs the effort to find/please ONE girl than it does trying to juggle 5 women at the same time! All the benefits you're trying to suck out of 5 women could all be given to you from ONE good woman if you actually trusted YOURSELF enough to find AND keep her. Smh
I swear, men experience 10Xs MORE drama, heartache, heartache/heartbreak & problems when juggling women they're not committed to vs. the amount they do when they actually commit.
Posted by krysrenee7
My dad always told me that in life, you NEVER throw good things off your plate when your plate if full. No, instead you just get a bigger plate.
That's my fav part of your post. Daddy knows best!
I'd say that at least half the time it's bullshit.
I've also called people out on this. I understand that people want to be ready or prepared to make room for a significant relationship. However, there is a point where you just go for broke. I have had 2 incidents under my belt now where I was involved with a man that wasn't necessarily ready. The first one was the penniless, still lived with parents, full time student. He was in a bad situation financially and desperately needed to get through school so he could make his career happen. Well, I came along in the midst of that. He took me in with no hesitation.
The other was a guy I dated for a solid year, and would still be dating today had I not gotten with my bf, who is pretty much THE busiest person I know. He works a full-time day job, has band practice every single night because he is in 3 bands, plays shows on the weekends, tours regularly, is fixing and re-modeling his house, and yet he still managed to pick up the phone every day to at least say "hi". on top of that he would make time in his schedule so that we could hang out at least a couple times a week if not more.
it can be done and it will be done if you want it badly enough. it wasn't exactly the best timing when i got with my bf either. he was forced to vacate his house because he got laid off and couldn't pay when we got together. when i asked him why he still chose to go through with it even though other parts of his life were falling apart, he told me that love doesn't work that way. it comes when it comes and you either gotta take it or let it go. he saw a good thing in me and decided to make it work even though he was stressed out. i mean, we'd have to get through hard times at some point anyway if we stayed together long enough. makes sense to me!
I've also called people out on this. I understand that people want to be ready or prepared to make room for a significant relationship. However, there is a point where you just go for broke. I have had 2 incidents under my belt now where I was involved with a man that wasn't necessarily ready. The first one was the penniless, still lived with parents, full time student. He was in a bad situation financially and desperately needed to get through school so he could make his career happen. Well, I came along in the midst of that. He took me in with no hesitation.
The other was a guy I dated for a solid year, and would still be dating today had I not gotten with my bf, who is pretty much THE busiest person I know. He works a full-time day job, has band practice every single night because he is in 3 bands, plays shows on the weekends, tours regularly, is fixing and re-modeling his house, and yet he still managed to pick up the phone every day to at least say "hi". on top of that he would make time in his schedule so that we could hang out at least a couple times a week if not more.
it can be done and it will be done if you want it badly enough. it wasn't exactly the best timing when i got with my bf either. he was forced to vacate his house because he got laid off and couldn't pay when we got together. when i asked him why he still chose to go through with it even though other parts of his life were falling apart, he told me that love doesn't work that way. it comes when it comes and you either gotta take it or let it go. he saw a good thing in me and decided to make it work even though he was stressed out. i mean, we'd have to get through hard times at some point anyway if we stayed together long enough. makes sense to me!
Hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee kitty, kitty. There's my take.
Damn you all are beating us guys up quick...
Because we get judged based on these things, that's why. You have two guys you're talking to, pretty much equal EXCEPT guy A has a decent job, a small apartment, debt in order, etc... guy B is unemployed, lives in mom's basement, is in debt, etc.
They have equal chances?
Posted by candyapples88
I'm just curious...how does not having a job, perhaps still living with your parents, or just not being where you want to be in life factor in your decision for being ready for a relationship?
Because we get judged based on these things, that's why. You have two guys you're talking to, pretty much equal EXCEPT guy A has a decent job, a small apartment, debt in order, etc... guy B is unemployed, lives in mom's basement, is in debt, etc.
They have equal chances?
What is good for me. Whether it's A or B. I gots my own. What..is..good...for..me.
GAHHHHHHH, someone scratch my back, I'm going NUTS!
I absolutely nothing wrong with a person wanting to sort their life out, and be in a place they feel comfortable with before moving to the next level, project, or state of being, or state of feelings.
And I think this comment is absurd ....
"Honey, half the men who use those excuses DON'T really believe their own excuses.
If they say they're too busy for a relationship, I say:
"Well that's weird. Some of the most wealthiest, busiest & most focused men in the WORLD had time for a relationship/family so what's your excuse?" Their response: Silence!
What another person is able to do, or is ready to do ... has nothing to do with another person and two people aren't comparable, since everybody is different. Of course, most of Krys judgements are absurd .. so, I'm not surprised.
And I think this comment is absurd ....
"Honey, half the men who use those excuses DON'T really believe their own excuses.
If they say they're too busy for a relationship, I say:
"Well that's weird. Some of the most wealthiest, busiest & most focused men in the WORLD had time for a relationship/family so what's your excuse?" Their response: Silence!
What another person is able to do, or is ready to do ... has nothing to do with another person and two people aren't comparable, since everybody is different. Of course, most of Krys judgements are absurd .. so, I'm not surprised.
Here's the translation to this thread ....
Candyapple wants boyfriend to commit to her and he isn't ready yet, and told her so .... she couldn't handle it, so now is in here trying to make it look like somethign is wrong with a person who thinks their future is more important than the chaos of feelings at the moment.
Another thing about this ... women today get pretty indignant about being equal, about being able to stand on their own two feet, about not being treated differently because they are strong females ... then turn around and make comments about men paying for their dinners, or having to be the one to make first moves, and in this case, the comment is ....
"However, we don't have the pressure of being breadwinners and providers in our relationships like society expects."
Yet, women will also use that same ^^^^^^^^^^^^ excuse on the opposite level if they think they are being slighted or ignored or passed over .. such as, I work, I'm strong, I can take care of myself and don't need any man to put food on my table.
You can't have it both ways ... and if you try to, then it's actually YOU who makes excuses for not standing up as an adult.
and by you, I mean, everybody, and not person specific
Candyapple wants boyfriend to commit to her and he isn't ready yet, and told her so .... she couldn't handle it, so now is in here trying to make it look like somethign is wrong with a person who thinks their future is more important than the chaos of feelings at the moment.
Another thing about this ... women today get pretty indignant about being equal, about being able to stand on their own two feet, about not being treated differently because they are strong females ... then turn around and make comments about men paying for their dinners, or having to be the one to make first moves, and in this case, the comment is ....
"However, we don't have the pressure of being breadwinners and providers in our relationships like society expects."
Yet, women will also use that same ^^^^^^^^^^^^ excuse on the opposite level if they think they are being slighted or ignored or passed over .. such as, I work, I'm strong, I can take care of myself and don't need any man to put food on my table.
You can't have it both ways ... and if you try to, then it's actually YOU who makes excuses for not standing up as an adult.
and by you, I mean, everybody, and not person specific
I'm all for a man not being ready for a relationship until HE (not her) is ready for one. And I completely agree with Steve Harvey that a man basis his self-worth on 3 things: His ability to provide, protect & be needed. If he doesn't have anything going for himself, he won't feel the desire to go expose/express himself to someone else.
Kind of like children, men want someone to be proud of them, need them & look up to them. And it's kind of hard for a man to obtain those things from a woman if, in HIS mind, he doesn't have anything going for himself. BUT, men have got to be 100% HONEST about things though.
Giving 1 hit or quitter lines doesn't work/help either the guy or the woman who wants him b/c we're all trained to see those types of excuses as "bull."
Men still don't seem to understand that women are good at seeing the INSIDE & not just the outside. Men avoid women who only want them for their money, outward appearance, etc. BUT yet when they find one who genuinely seems to be into who they are as men on the INSIDE (those traits stay the same regardless of career or social/financial status), men seem to run & avoid these types of women as well. SO some women kind of feel that we're damned if we do & damned if we don't
If women only want a man when he has everything, she's labeled a gold digger, shallow or dependent. But if a woman is willing to take/love a man when he has nothing, she gets left behind b/c the man doesn't feel that he's "worth" a relationship.
Men absolutely CAN juggle a relationship with life. And if they say they can't, it's not b/c they literally can't. No, it's that they refuse to. And there IS a difference! Some men WANT to be ready but just aren't. It won't matter how good of a catch the woman is nor will it matter how much he's got going for himself; HE'S gotta WANT to & be READY for a relationship. And relationships are work--some men don't want to do the work but they can't admit that so they give cheesy excuses to conceal/cover up what they REALLY mean/want to say
Kind of like children, men want someone to be proud of them, need them & look up to them. And it's kind of hard for a man to obtain those things from a woman if, in HIS mind, he doesn't have anything going for himself. BUT, men have got to be 100% HONEST about things though.
Giving 1 hit or quitter lines doesn't work/help either the guy or the woman who wants him b/c we're all trained to see those types of excuses as "bull."
Men still don't seem to understand that women are good at seeing the INSIDE & not just the outside. Men avoid women who only want them for their money, outward appearance, etc. BUT yet when they find one who genuinely seems to be into who they are as men on the INSIDE (those traits stay the same regardless of career or social/financial status), men seem to run & avoid these types of women as well. SO some women kind of feel that we're damned if we do & damned if we don't
If women only want a man when he has everything, she's labeled a gold digger, shallow or dependent. But if a woman is willing to take/love a man when he has nothing, she gets left behind b/c the man doesn't feel that he's "worth" a relationship.
Men absolutely CAN juggle a relationship with life. And if they say they can't, it's not b/c they literally can't. No, it's that they refuse to. And there IS a difference! Some men WANT to be ready but just aren't. It won't matter how good of a catch the woman is nor will it matter how much he's got going for himself; HE'S gotta WANT to & be READY for a relationship. And relationships are work--some men don't want to do the work but they can't admit that so they give cheesy excuses to conceal/cover up what they REALLY mean/want to say
And hey, if a man isn't ready for a relationship, he needs to be honest about that AND leave us chicks alone!
What I have a PROBLEM with are the men who know deep down they're not ready but yet keep on establishing short-mini relations/relationships with women. That's wrong. If a man isn't up to par, good BUT he needs to stay away from the women who ARE looking for something long term. Problem is, men like having their cake & eating it too. They don't want a relationship but yet they still entertain & invest all this energy/time into women, knowing that when the conversation of commitment comes up, they'll always come up short. That's NOT cool.
The PROBLEM is that the men who fear relationships are the FIRST ones to always be somewhere acting like they're already in 1 with some woman. They'll play house and/or do things that only people in relationships should do, but yet they look all confused when a woman finally says, "When are we going to make this official?" She's asking that b/c somewhere a long the line he's given her the impression based on his actions that commitment is EXACTLY what he's looking for.
Of course, there are the women who keep chasing after men that have already told them up front that commitment wasn't their focus. Perhaps these women should stop trying to change or mold a man into who she wants him to be. If he says he's not ready, 99% of the time he means it AND 99.9% of the time his reasons for not wanting a relationship have NOTHING to do with her.
But some women refuse to acknowledge that & they keep on pursuing a man, only to get their feelings hurt when they finally get their head out of the clouds & see that he was dead serious in not wanting to commit. In these situations, it's the WOMAN'S fault if she comes up short b/c he already told her from the beginning & it was HER responsibility to either accept his fear of commitment or keep it moving to someone else.
What I have a PROBLEM with are the men who know deep down they're not ready but yet keep on establishing short-mini relations/relationships with women. That's wrong. If a man isn't up to par, good BUT he needs to stay away from the women who ARE looking for something long term. Problem is, men like having their cake & eating it too. They don't want a relationship but yet they still entertain & invest all this energy/time into women, knowing that when the conversation of commitment comes up, they'll always come up short. That's NOT cool.
The PROBLEM is that the men who fear relationships are the FIRST ones to always be somewhere acting like they're already in 1 with some woman. They'll play house and/or do things that only people in relationships should do, but yet they look all confused when a woman finally says, "When are we going to make this official?" She's asking that b/c somewhere a long the line he's given her the impression based on his actions that commitment is EXACTLY what he's looking for.
Of course, there are the women who keep chasing after men that have already told them up front that commitment wasn't their focus. Perhaps these women should stop trying to change or mold a man into who she wants him to be. If he says he's not ready, 99% of the time he means it AND 99.9% of the time his reasons for not wanting a relationship have NOTHING to do with her.
But some women refuse to acknowledge that & they keep on pursuing a man, only to get their feelings hurt when they finally get their head out of the clouds & see that he was dead serious in not wanting to commit. In these situations, it's the WOMAN'S fault if she comes up short b/c he already told her from the beginning & it was HER responsibility to either accept his fear of commitment or keep it moving to someone else.
Posted by P-Angel
Here's the translation to this thread ....
Candyapple wants boyfriend to commit to her and he isn't ready yet, and told her so .... she couldn't handle it, so now is in here trying to make it look like somethign is wrong with a person who thinks their future is more important than the chaos of feelings at the moment.
Another thing about this ... women today get pretty indignant about being equal, about being able to stand on their own two feet, about not being treated differently because they are strong females ... then turn around and make comments about men paying for their dinners, or having to be the one to make first moves, and in this case, the comment is ....
"However, we don't have the pressure of being breadwinners and providers in our relationships like society expects."
Yet, women will also use that same ^^^^^^^^^^^^ excuse on the opposite level if they think they are being slighted or ignored or passed over .. such as, I work, I'm strong, I can take care of myself and don't need any man to put food on my table.
You can't have it both ways ... and if you try to, then it's actually YOU who makes excuses for not standing up as an adult.
and by you, I mean, everybody, and not person specific
Lol I actually was just talking to my brother...but if this scenario works for you, then that's fine I'm not gonna try and prove you wrong. You make good points though, very true.
9 times of out 10 .. I'd be willing to wager that the guy didn't even want to enter into a relationship in the first place, and only wanted to get his dick wet .. but, the girl makes it clear that she will only consider doing this if a commitment is in place .. so, he tells her yeah, sure baby ... dips, then dips
she knew all along his intentions .. but, thinks that he will change once shown love because she would change once shown love and is too unexperienced to realize that he's not female.
she knew all along his intentions .. but, thinks that he will change once shown love because she would change once shown love and is too unexperienced to realize that he's not female.
Posted by amethyst2002Posted by krysrenee7
Both male and female, I don't think people do this enough. They're too busy fixating on HAVING to be in a relationship for whatever reason (companionship, sex, etc.) to stop and think if it's even an appropriate time to do so.click to expand
This is true.
And in defense for the guys, most of the women scrounging for new boyfriends/husbands aren't quite as ready for relationships like they think! Simply wanting a relationship doesn't mean you're ready for one!
Male or female, you're clearly NOT ready for a relationship if you haven't learned what it means to LISTEN. If someone says "NO," that's not code for ignore that & keep on chasing. You can't be off into your own world & only hear what you want to hear. When a person says they're not ready for something, 99% of the time they mean it & won't change their position on things. There's no use in arguing with someone or trying to pressure/guilt someone into wanting the same things you want--
Plus, there's NO victory in knowing that you only have somebody b/c you changed them or forced them to be in something they weren't ready for or really don't want to be in. They won't be as plugged in or as committed/dedicated to the relationship.
Idk about you guys, but I don't want to be with someone that doesn't want OR isn't ready for the ride! He has to WANT it just like I do or it won't work. And if it does, it won't for long
Posted by krysrenee7
Honey, half the men who use those excuses DON'T really believe their own excuses.
If they say they're too busy for a relationship, I say:
"Well that's weird. Some of the most wealthiest, busiest & most focused men in the WORLD had time for a relationship/family so what's your excuse?" Their response: Silence!
My response: I have plenty of time and I 'could' have a relationship. I don't want one right now. When I say I'm too "busy" it doesn't mean every second of the day is occupied (look how many I spend here) it means that right now I'd rather play video games, talk to strangers on the internet, re-lace my shoes, etc. than to deal with someone wanting to know where I'm at and what I'm doing. I don't have to worry if she's going to be in a bad mood. I don't have to worry about trusting anyone either. It's just me being me. The friends that already know me are along for the ride, I don't want to deal with new people right now.
Plus I got more important stuff to worry about right now. Planning a cross country move, looking for new work, settling in with the kids... I don't need extra drama right now.
Posted by krysrenee7
My dad always told me that in life, you NEVER throw good things off your plate when your plate if full. No, instead you just get a bigger plate.click to expand
The problem with that is when you get so much crap on your massive plate that you can't deal with it all before it gets cold/soggy/dries out/goes rotten. When I was little and would try to pack my plate full of stuff my mom would stop me and say "Finish what you have, then if you want more you can get some". Since we're talking plates lets stick with food... that cinnamon roll may be great when its warm and gooey but if you had it smashed up in the back corner of the plate soaking in applesauce and steak blood cause you just kept on taking what looked good... I don't want that roll anymore. Lol
Posted by krysrenee7
Men absolutely CAN juggle a relationship with life. And if they say they can't, it's not b/c they literally can't. No, it's that they refuse to. And there IS a difference! Some men WANT to be ready but just aren't. It won't matter how good of a catch the woman is nor will it matter how much he's got going for himself; HE'S gotta WANT to & be READY for a relationship. And relationships are work--some men don't want to do the work but they can't admit that so they give cheesy excuses to conceal/cover up what they REALLY mean/want to say
Guess I should have read it all before I responded...
😄
Posted by CappyyLuv30
Ooo just thought of a question for you. What if you meet the perfect woman for you, "the one", she's all you've ever wanted, you connect with her in every way.....would you risk losing her because you don't want new people in your life right now?
I don't know honestly. I've flipped back and forth trying to answer this...
On one hand, I meant it when I said I don't want a relationship right now. I'm enjoying myself right now and the plans I have set up for the next couple months and over the next year are just going to make things better and better. I think it would do me good to stay away and just focus on my kids and me for a while. I'm an overprotective dad anyway, ain't nobody meeting my kids.
On the other hand, I'm a hopeless romantic. If I met someone and really just knew they were the one I wouldn't be able to stop myself. If it really is 'the one' (I dislike that term btw) then the rest of that stuff wouldn't matter anyway right? I am good at working out the details of stuff.
Posted by CappyyLuv30
Of course, it's easy to say that when your heart hasn't met that person yet. If I really like someone, I don't want to risk losing that person. Ah I don't know....it's a difficult position to be in regardless cuz of all the factors that'd have to be weighed.
Yep, and that is the kicker. It's easy to say all this stuff and more when you haven't meet that person yet. I have talked to a buddy of mine about a lot of this stuff over the last year and I joked that I was swearing off women. Next time I'd just find some chick I couldn't stand and buy her a house, save all that middle drama. He just laughed at me. He swears it won't be but a few weeks after I'm back home that I have someone chasing me. Anyway, I figure the best way to keep from getting attached to anyone is to not talk to anyone new. I'll go out with friends and flirt and everything but I keep it a lot lower than my normal.
Posted by CappyyLuv30
It's sad but love is helluva drug.
^^
That whole conversation is another reason for me. I'm moving in the next few months, I'm not even going to open that can of worms. I moved to TX for my ex, I'll not be dealing with that situation again. Starting over with nothing sucks and I'm not looking forward to doing it now, I won't do it again. Let me get settled in where I want to be first.
Women LIVE to LOVE. Men LOVE to LIFE.
Ty Cappy
Posted by candyapples88
I'm just curious...how does not having a job, perhaps still living with your parents, or just not being where you want to be in life factor in your decision for being ready for a relationship? This question is for the men, but women are more than welcome to put their two cents in.
The reason I ask is because I was having a convo with my brother and the topic of why he had no girlfriend came up. He mentioned because he wants to establish his career, blah blah blah. I just looked at him like "why are you making excuses?" But then I realized that being a woman, I have never had to factored any of the above mentioned situations into my decision for wanting or being ready for a relationship. When women hear these excuses from a man, we think it's all bullshit and just reasons to avoid commitment. However, we don't have the pressure of being breadwinners and providers in our relationships like society expects.
I know each man is different and sometimes these excuses are given when you (the man) don't feel the girl is right for you, but you don't exactly what to tell her that so you try to be nice about it by lying about some external reason for avoiding a relationship - with her anyway. But in all reality, do these factors - job, money, living situation, goals...really play a factor in your determination for whether or not you're ready for a relationship? Or are these excuses truly just bullshit like us women think they are?
Those things are a big factor when deciding to get involved with anyone. I was constantly being pursued during my high school and early college years because I wanted my future to be stable enough to not only support myself but another person and even a child. To do so, my studies were my top priority. Apparently, ignoring the advances of women because you want a better life for yourself pisses them off or makes them wanna stalk the hell outta ya. Now things are falling into place with my career path and finances, so I've opened up and am currently taken(sure as hell didn't take that long) =P
I'm wondering if it's the idealists that feel once someone meets the right person...all the reasons for not wanting a relationship fly out the window. While the ones who believe we have more than one potential soulmate...can pass up on a catch. Just a thought...
I think honesty is important when relaying what it is you're looking for. As long as you're honest with the girls you're seeing...then at least you're giving them options to stay or leave. If they stay...that's their choice. My brother complains that they get mad when they choose to stick around but still don't get what they want from him. I told him he shouldn't feel guilty because he was honest about what he wanted, and half the time women think they can be that ONE female who can change his mind when it's just not gonna happen.
However, I don't think it's fair to state one thing but then your actions don't match. If you don't want a relationship then you need to act that way as well. I think that's a lot of the reasons why women can get caught up in situations like this because a man's actions and words don't match. In these particular instances, it might be one of those few times when a man realizes he has something good so he doesn't want to let go, but yet he doesn't want to to make that commitment either....so he yo-yos back and forth.
Krys also brought up the point about just being honest about what you want. However, say you want a relationship...but just not with a person you happen to be dealing with. Can you really say to them, "I want a relationship, but just not with you." Ouch. I don't think a lot of people have the balls to be this upfront with someone - all the time anyway. I think we all have used this excuse to get by before. Usually it's just easier to say, "I don't want a relationship right now" and spew out every reason for why. You're still getting your point across without having to hurt their feelings more than you probably have already done so. Can people who take this route really be knocked for doing it?
I think honesty is important when relaying what it is you're looking for. As long as you're honest with the girls you're seeing...then at least you're giving them options to stay or leave. If they stay...that's their choice. My brother complains that they get mad when they choose to stick around but still don't get what they want from him. I told him he shouldn't feel guilty because he was honest about what he wanted, and half the time women think they can be that ONE female who can change his mind when it's just not gonna happen.
However, I don't think it's fair to state one thing but then your actions don't match. If you don't want a relationship then you need to act that way as well. I think that's a lot of the reasons why women can get caught up in situations like this because a man's actions and words don't match. In these particular instances, it might be one of those few times when a man realizes he has something good so he doesn't want to let go, but yet he doesn't want to to make that commitment either....so he yo-yos back and forth.
Krys also brought up the point about just being honest about what you want. However, say you want a relationship...but just not with a person you happen to be dealing with. Can you really say to them, "I want a relationship, but just not with you." Ouch. I don't think a lot of people have the balls to be this upfront with someone - all the time anyway. I think we all have used this excuse to get by before. Usually it's just easier to say, "I don't want a relationship right now" and spew out every reason for why. You're still getting your point across without having to hurt their feelings more than you probably have already done so. Can people who take this route really be knocked for doing it?
Posted by amethyst2002
Guys who bring up periods as an insult or issue for women are absolute morons. Get a new thing to pin on us, kay?
You talk of morons while misunderstanding the context in which he said that.
Again, you misunderstood the context in which he said that.
Instead of just blabbering a defense, why don't you read it again?
Instead of just blabbering a defense, why don't you read it again?
Sexist ... damn you're a fool.
You don't even have the common sense to even attempt to comprehend the manner in which someone expresses themselves ... and automatically takes what they said out of context based off of your own fucking issues.
BY your own admission, you don't care what he was meaning ... you just hear a "word" and make a decision on him being sexist.
You're fucked up in head.
You don't even have the common sense to even attempt to comprehend the manner in which someone expresses themselves ... and automatically takes what they said out of context based off of your own fucking issues.
BY your own admission, you don't care what he was meaning ... you just hear a "word" and make a decision on him being sexist.
You're fucked up in head.
Guys who fear or don't want commitment but yet go around "playing house" or doing all of the things committed people do, are cowards!
If you don't want commitment, fine! Matter of fact, thank you for admitting that! But, if commitment isn't your thing, you should be the LAST 1 being spotted acting like someone's boyfriend or girlfriend.
And what makes it worse is that when women fall for guys like that, the guys always look shocked & confused when the woman finally comes out & admits that she's fallen for them. These kinds of men know EXACTLY what they're doing. They're not that dumb. They know that if they do/say certain things that it will warrant certain expectations/desires in others. They don't want to be burned but yet they keep on walking around with a pot of boiling water. Freakin' cowards!
If you don't want a commitment, good for you but STAY AWAY from the women who clearly do! Stay away from the women who have "looking for my next boyfriend/husband" written on their foreheads! Stay away from any actions/words that suggest that commitment is what you want. Stay away & stick to your "hoes" and/or the women who've made it clear up front that they want no-strings-attached relations to.
There's nothing more annoying than seeing a man whose irritable all b/c some girl fell for him. Yeah, you may have told her already that you didn't want a relationship, BUT your actions suggested otherwise. You can't spend all your time with a woman, cuddle with her, confess all these grand feelings to her, sex her all night, take her to meet your family/closest friends & yet act surprised when 6 months+ later, she's ready for a relationship. Wtf
If you don't want commitment, fine! Matter of fact, thank you for admitting that! But, if commitment isn't your thing, you should be the LAST 1 being spotted acting like someone's boyfriend or girlfriend.
And what makes it worse is that when women fall for guys like that, the guys always look shocked & confused when the woman finally comes out & admits that she's fallen for them. These kinds of men know EXACTLY what they're doing. They're not that dumb. They know that if they do/say certain things that it will warrant certain expectations/desires in others. They don't want to be burned but yet they keep on walking around with a pot of boiling water. Freakin' cowards!
If you don't want a commitment, good for you but STAY AWAY from the women who clearly do! Stay away from the women who have "looking for my next boyfriend/husband" written on their foreheads! Stay away from any actions/words that suggest that commitment is what you want. Stay away & stick to your "hoes" and/or the women who've made it clear up front that they want no-strings-attached relations to.
There's nothing more annoying than seeing a man whose irritable all b/c some girl fell for him. Yeah, you may have told her already that you didn't want a relationship, BUT your actions suggested otherwise. You can't spend all your time with a woman, cuddle with her, confess all these grand feelings to her, sex her all night, take her to meet your family/closest friends & yet act surprised when 6 months+ later, she's ready for a relationship. Wtf
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
What are your sexual turn-offs.. Bear with me, I've got plenty! Sex/foreplay goes sour when...They have the blanke
In relationships, at what pace(s) do each of the signs usually work in when they're really into someone, in terms of how
Have you guys ever been in a situation when someone lied to you, cheated on you, broke up with you told your personal bu
Idk about you, but I DON'T get butterflies every time a guy calls me baby honey sweety or any other petname when
Ok, so let's say he cheats on you. I know, I know it sucks... BUT Ladies, what's up with wanting to know all the d
You're no longer looking for a short-term or short-lived relationship but instead only being willing to date someone you
Ok so there's LUST...INFATUATION & LOVE...what is the difference? And can ALL 3 co-exist? How do we really know w
Here is a list of GOOD & BAD personality traits a person can possess. Here's what you can do with this list: 1. Cir
Here is a LIST of all the potential POSITIVE & NEGATIVE TRAITS a person can possess. My friend,whose a psychologist made
People every day always give us those clever little sayings, BUT I don't think most people take their words in emotional
if the sex is really good. I remember hearing/reading this somewhere, but I can't exactly remember where. Anyway, do
Fellows, you know the sex is GOOD when she gives your slinger it's own name!!!! I was at the mall yesterday eating a
I'm 30 and is interested in dating this 40 year old guy. We've hung out a couple of times but he recently moved to the o
I ask because I am guilty of twisting things around in my head and over-analyzing them to death. So sometimes it's easie
Just curious on what you guys think the appropriate or right time to have sex is when in a relationship. Obviously
I've heard MANY people say that arguing is good for the relationship. They say that if 2 people never have a disagree
Don't get me wrong, I think it's cute when women tag along with their boyfriends/spouses whenever their partners want to
Do you think a person's partner/spouse/companion has the right to request/ask/demand that their partner tone down their
Usually I come on here once in a while to vent. Do my verbal diarherea here, and move on. This situation is different
Here are the TOP 10 things people lie about in relationships (smh): 1. Sexual history--How many people they've slept
The reason I ask is because I was having a convo with my brother and the topic of why he had no girlfriend came up. He mentioned because he wants to establish his career, blah blah blah. I just looked at him like "why are you making excuses?" But then I realized that being a woman, I have never had to factored any of the above mentioned situations into my decision for wanting or being ready for a relationship. When women hear these excuses from a man, we think it's all bullshit and just reasons to avoid commitment. However, we don't have the pressure of being breadwinners and providers in our relationships like society expects.
I know each man is different and sometimes these excuses are given when you (the man) don't feel the girl is right for you, but you don't exactly what to tell her that so you try to be nice about it by lying about some external reason for avoiding a relationship - with her anyway. But in all reality, do these factors - job, money, living situation, goals...really play a factor in your determination for whether or not you're ready for a relationship? Or are these excuses truly just bullshit like us women think they are?