Not Much To It, But Needed To Do It..... :)

So, at 10 a.m. on Thanksgiving Day I received a call from my ex boyfriend (Mr. Pisces).

As most of you on DXP know, we were in a LDR for six months that ended the first week in August. The distance was just too difficult to manage at the time. We were very much in love, but he let me go and asked me to move on & be happy. So, I have.

We stayed in touch everyday via text until recently. Prior to this phone call, we have only had a few text exchanges since Halloween. Around the first week in Nov, I heard that he had a gf so when he texted me that week I asked him how that was going. He said it was new & going well but that he was about to head out on a road trip to visit his family for the holidays & would be gone for about three weeks or more, so it depends on how that time away affected the situation. I wished him well & said I hoped that it wasn't awkward for him to discuss that w me because it wasn't awkward for me. He said —of course not, u r the one person that knows the most about me on the inside & I consider u one of my best friends.?? I told him I felt the same & that even though I also have a bf I will always make time for him if he needed to talk about anything. He then said, —same goes for you, have a great day. Xoxo.?? I was a little surprised at how quickly he ended the conversation, but didn't think much into it. This was the first he had heard of me having a bf, & tbh, I didn't expect to hear much from him since I knew he was traveling & with his family.

So, the following week I receive another message from him. —Hi Love, how r u— I respond with great, you? He says —Awesome! With my family for over a week now. How??s the bf treating u? Good I hope. He better be!?? I tell him he is good to me, how bout the gf? Etc. He says —She is cool, but I need my space??_ so who knows?.... We need to plan a road trip and party w/o the others though??_ just u & me!?? WTF?

Now we come up on TGiving week. I get a text the beginning of the week??_.. —Hi Sexy! How??s life— yada yada yada. Then the phone call, which I missed, so I call him back. He answers with —Hello My Love!?? We have a brief conversation to which he begins with laughingly saying??_. —I call the ppl I love as opposed to texting them!?? I laugh & say —Whatever!?? He then says —I just wanted to call you & tell you that I love you & wish you a Happy Thanksgiving. I miss your goofy ass!?? I tell him I miss his as well & to tell the fam I said Hi. He says —Will do. I love you. I??ll talk to you later.?? I say —okay, bye.??

I didn't tell him I loved him, even though I do & always will to some degree. I just wasn't sure what to say or how to feel about it all. It kinda caught me off guard a bit. Tbh, I haven't stopped thinking about it. I am happy with my current Sag bf & I feel a little guilty for having this conversation & not revealing it to him. Maybe I'm a little confused about how emotionally vulnerable I want to become with my Sag so I continue to communicate with someone that I have deep seated feelings for? Maybe I know that if Pisces was here, I wouldn't be with Sag? IDK??_ *shrugs*


I know you are probably wondering why I am posting this or what I expect to hear. I don't really expect to hear anything that I don't already know. It's just therapeutic to post here. Especially since so many of you followed along when I was going through this relationship & helped me to understand the quirky nature of the Pisces psyche. I guess I feel that DXP has sort of been a part of this relationship. Anway, thanks for listening & feel free to comment if you like. 😄

What you are feeling is natural LeoLadyLoves (not that you are asking for any advice, etc, 🙂). When you have a relationship end that wasn't because of something horrific or even if it was something horrific, you can't just STOP loving/caring/feeling for them. Also, (for me) it's hard to get close to new people, and there is something about that last person and/or the person you really loved and let close to you that is hard to let go. They GOT you, and knew you inside & out. It was comfortable, easy & felt right. Do I think that you should tell your new Sag about this? "No!" But, I am not a full-disclosure type of person; however, there is a time and place for everything. I just don't feel like I have to tell anybody everything; including my mother, and she is the closest person to me in this world. With that being said, I also think that guys know intuitively that their past woman is seeing/will see others, but when they are whapped in the face with it, it makes them perk up sometimes and go "Whoaaaa, Dayummmm!" That's been my experience anyway with my exes; especially my ex-fiance'. He was very territorial, and it cracked my a $ $ up, because when we broke up, he got married like a year later, and then when they got divorced after a couple of years (of course, I knew that would happen); I even met his new gf and invited them to a friends birthday party, and they came. But if I talk about another guy, he gets really morose and saddened; even though he will SAY, that he wants only the best for me, and for me to find someone that is good to/for me, has money (lol) so they can take care of me to the way to which I've been accustomed and that above everything else, respects me. His words, not mine! Yet, he is always jealous if I mention a guy, and we've been broken up for years! I will always love him, and while you can never say never, that part of my life is moved on, and I can NEVER see myself with him again. I can't pretend to know what you are feeling LeoLadyLoves, but I think you need to follow your mind, and you will most definitely do the right thing. Remember that expression, (paraphrasing) "The heart wants what the heart wants." That can be a good & a bad thing. That's why I say follow your mind, because I think you know what is what...

Hugs to USCTG! Thanks girl. I know, you are so right. I don't plan on telling my Sag. He knows that I still correspond with exes and that I have good relationships with a lot of them and it doesnt seem to bother him. I suppose that if it ever does, he will let me know. I'm very open with him about my conversations and interactions with my male friends. I would be sensitive to his needs where this is concerned, but at the same time I have made it painfully clear to him from the beginning that I DO and WILL have friendships with those of the opposite sex, some being ex-boyfriends. This is something that is extremely important to me and he MUST understand that or we will not work. But, in saying that, please don't misinterpret that I wouldn't listen and compromise with him where necessary. His needs and feelings are very important to me.

You are right that "the heart wants what the heart wants" but I also know that sometimes things just aren't meant to be and no matter how hard you try, you can't change that. I am not by any means suggesting that I am "settling" for anything either by being with Sag. Pisces made the decision to end it because HE didn't have the strength necessary to maintain an LDR and knew it wasn't fair to me. It was an intelligent decision AND probably the right one. I simply mean that it was his decision to end it and I respect that and cannot change nor control his actions.

I do keep Sag at arm's length though. I will admit to that. I think maybe that is because I CAN moreso than because I WANT or NEED to. I thought about it over the weekend and I asked myself "If Sag and I were to break up, would I be upset over it?" I tried to imagine it and I wasn't upset over it at all. But, it wasn't reality, so who knows for sure. Things are so easy with him, I just think maybe I feel too comfy and settled. Sometimes that turns me off too. I need a challenge and I feel myself growing bored. I'll probly sabotage it! I'm quite sure of it! LOL!!!

Posted by LeoLadyLovesToBeLoved
I'll probly sabotage it! I'm quite sure of it! LOL!!!

(((HUGS))) Back to you too LeoLadyLoves! NOOOOO! You won't sabotage! I am the sabotage queen! I refuse to share my throne 😉 LOL! Seriously though, I know what you mean, and I bore easily too. I know, I know, I'm an Earth sign, and I'm supposed to love stability, sameness, blah, blah, blah! As we've already discussed, we are too much like men LeoLady! That's why we have these problems 🙂 Le sigh...don't worry - as we all know, "Que Sera, Sera!" Continue being, loving, and taking care of YOU! Don't push yourself into any corners. You don't have to do ANYTHING! You can just enjoy this time and keep it moving. If it's meant to be - it will be. If he is the "one." Then, he will be the "one" tomorrow, next week, etc. Life is too short, so enjoy whatever it is that you want to do; as long as you don't hurt someone intentionally, then it's all good. I qualify that "intentionally," because sometimes we hurt people, but that is neither our goal nor intentions.

Stay up and just enjoy life Lady!

Ah Scorpio_chic.... yes, you are probably right for sure. As I didn't have any issues where trust was concerned, our relationships do sound somewhat familiar. I don't currently desire to be with him, I've moved on from that. However if circumstances were different I don't know that I would feel that way. And I do know for sure that he has other ex-girlfriends that he still stays in contact with. That was never anything that was a secret. As for him ever denying having someone else, he has NEVER denied that. But, of course, I may simply NOT know of it, so... there is always that possibility. But since we have been broken up, anytime I ever asked of other girls he never hesitated to answer me, so who knows! But you are definitely right about questioning his loyalty when he is reaching out to me and who knows who else for that matter. I too have my reservations about Pisces men, but I know it's not ALL sign specific. I also have my reservations about Taurus men, so...... eh....

USCTG - Oh yes, too much like men we are! I can't stand not being challenged. Here's the problem with the Sag.....

He lives about 45 mins outside of town but works about 5 mins from my house. His shift starts at 6am... so as you can imagine, staying at my house is VERY convenient for him. So, this relationship has turned into him staying at my house several nights a week. When he does go home for the night, he wants me to come with him. I am NOT used to sharing that much of my time and/or space with anyone. He leaves work at 4:30pm and goes to the gym. I leave work at 5pm and go to the gym so we end up together there as well. I am starting to feel like I have NO private time! I literally have to make plans with friends one night a week to have an excuse to send him home. He doesn't mind, nor does he ever give me any argument about it, but it would be nice for him to just go home on his own accord. I REALLY REALLY like him, but I'm starting to feel smothered. I've told him that we need to spend more time apart and he agrees, but he never initiates it. I always have to initiate time apart and that makes me feel like the bad guy. When we do spend time apart, he texts me throughout the day and tells me how much he misses me. I feel it blowing up if I dont confront it. I think he knows its coming. I've always told him from the beginning that there will come a time when I need some space or I'll feel trapped and run. I just would like for HIM to be the one to make other plans and do his own thing. I don't want to FEEL obligated to someone even if I am. If that makes sense. I guess the newness is wearing off and I'm ready for some ME time!

Anyway... that is another story outside of the OP, but maybe it all ties into one another. Maybe Pisces is my emotional crutch when it comes to new relationships. Maybe him being so far away is just safe. I KNOW it's not doable, so I can use it without fear of actually acting upon anything REAL. IDK... like I said... sabotage!

Oh, I hear you loud and clear. It's a little multi-faceted in that:
-you like him, he likes you, but you feel there may be a bit of convenience on his part for wanting to be at your house NOT to insinuate at all that he doesn't want to be with you nor care for you regardless of the proximity of your home to his job; but it is convenient for him
-you want "YOUR" time; you were married before and have been alone (not a nun, but just not "with" someone constantly) for awhile, so this constant time together is scary in a sense
-as they all say, "All good things must come to an end" that doesn't mean your relationship, moreso, just the newness; nothing is "new" forever. It's not good or bad - simply, what it is
-you've already said you have a lot going on regarding your own personal finances, etc, and while you like the Sag a lot; perhaps, you aren't ready to just have him so completely involved in every detail of your private life .... I know for me, I like to deal w/my problems alone, BUT, that's just me; I know plenty of people, male & female who love to have someone to complain/lean on, etc, and don't mind sharing everything...something tells me you are closer to the way I do things than most others 😉
-also, to be honest, your ex-Pisces contacting you has thrown a little bit of "hmmm" into the mix...that doesn't mean you will go back with him, but it has given you pause and cause to think....
Just my .05 cents worth! LOL.

USCTG -

LOL!! You know you nailed it girl! Down to every last detail! The convenience issue is more that going home versus staying w me involves planning ahead instead of I'm gonna run to the house for a bit and if I feel like coming over, I'll see you later... or if I have plans, we will see each other later kinda thing. Instead, I feel obligated to stay home w him once we are home. No more spontaneous plans made on my part with my friends if the opportunity arises kinda thing. Thus.... feeling a bit trapped!

Everything else.... totally spot on!

Thanks Mr. Nice! Yeah, the Sag does always pretty much agree with whatever I say!! LOL!! I get tired of being the one to always make the decisions. Some days I tell him he has to decide and just tell me what I'm gonna do. He does, but I need him to do that without being told. Yes, I like a good argument because making up is certainly fun to do!! For some reason, I can't even picture arguing with him. I'm not sure he is even capable. Maybe he will surprise me though. Yes, he is a really nice guy and he does a lot for me. Says he would do absolutely anything for me. Always helps around my house, does whatever I need done without even hesitating. He seems to think I am his perfect match. Tells me that all the time. I'm not so sure just yet, but I'm willing to see where it goes. As for him being a cheat... that doesn't even cross my mind with him. I think I would be the one to stray before he would. Although, I'm determined not to do that to him. I can't see myself hurting him in that way. I'm gonna take it slow. I just think I need to let him know that I need some space. I think it will be fine.

I'm glad to hear how great things are with you and your Aries! Yay for you. Snuggling with or without the pjs on is always good! 😉

Okay so, I haven't heard from Pisces since the T-Day phone call. From time to time I get strange feelings about certain people in my life. Nothing unusually compelling or anything like that, but sometimes I may just have them on my mind and can't seem to shake it for some reason or another. It's most often with people that I once shared a significant bond with and don't hear from on a daily basis. When this happens, I normally reach out and make contact to check on them. In most cases there is almost ALWAYS something going on with that person. Like I said, it only happens with a few select people in my life. It has happened with Pisces before. Although, we were in contact with one another via text, a few days had gone by and when we did correspond it felt empty and unsettling. So, I finally asked him if he was okay, what was going on? He then told me he had recently been notified that he was being laid off from his job and had been extremely depressed and hadn't talked to anyone really.

So, I'm having a bit of an unsettling feeling about him again. I've even had dreams about him a few nights and I rarely ever dream (at least that I can remember). I don't know what his travel schedule is right now. If he has already returned home from his vacation (he has an 18 hour drive) or if he is still gone or in route, etc. I texted him on Monday and just said "Hey! How u doing?" and he never responded, which is unusual for him. Of course, I began to worry a bit. I texted him last night and said "Hey! You okay?" I did get a return text that said "Yep, at dinner. Muah. Hit u up in a few." to which I responded "Okay, just checkn on you." And I never heard back.

I don't want to annoy him, especially if he is home and spending time with his gf, but I am a bit worried about him for some reason. I'm not sure what I should do here. I'm a bit torn if I'm only thinking of him because of the phone call. This makes me question if my concern is confounded or of true merit. I don't know. I know he is alive because of the text, so maybe I should just let it be. He's not one to volunteer his feelings, but he usually does divulge personal info to me when I reveal concern for him. I know I'm one of the few people he does this with, so I'm perplexed as to whether or not I push to disconcert or not. What to do?

Well, again, I think it's multiple things. First, he's on your mind, second, while you and Sag aren't having any "problems" you are feeling a bit smothered, and also, Pisces did say he's on a long road trip, so it stands to reason w/all of the horrible things that could happen on the road, it's only natural that you feel that way. It's the holidays, and for me (at least) nostalgia is huge during this time of year. For instance my quasi ex-Leo has been heavily on my mind the past like 2 months, and he touched base with me over the TG holidays too. Against my better judgment, I told him I've been missing him, and he said the same. Anyway, this isn't about me...I just wanted to express that sometimes the holidays play huge factors in our feelings too for a lot of different reasons. Some good, and some not so good.

My recommendation would be that you pull back a little and let him contact you next. You've reached out to him; he says he is ok and will get back with you...let him do that. If he sees he may have slightly rattled you, then he may think he has an "in" with you again. Now, if that's the case, that's fine, but if you don't want him to think that, then I would strongly recommend that you just leave that ball over on his side of the court and see if he volleys it back to you.

Ultimately it's up to you to decide what to do or not to do, but I just want to ensure you are doing it with as much objectivity as possible - sometimes that gets lost. I know it does for me sometimes too.

(((huggsss))) 🙂

((((Hugs)))) USCTG! Thank you for your objective opinion it is always welcome. You get me and know where I'm coming from so your advice bodes well for me.

I'm gonna let it be. I have decided that. I know I will hear from him again.

Mr. Nice, I certainly didn't take it the wrong way at all and thanks for your advice. As for caring more than I have let on, I have never denied that. When I love someone, I love them forever in some capacity and I never deny that feeling to anyone. Fortunately, I have only truly loved a few and when the relationship ends, I am capable of moving on and accepting that it is over. I have this weird ability to detach at various emotional levels without having to totally forsake a person. I think it's partly a Leo thing. We always WANT, NEED to have our loved ones in our life because we do truly care for their well being and we are much more at peace knowing that they still care enough to remain in our lives. Of course, I do require a grieving period and I do go through ALL of the normal emotions associated with a broken relationship and heartbreak, but I am a very resiliant woman. That doesn't negate my pain in any way, but to some it may appear easy for me to move on. It's not easy at all, but once I am through the grieving process, I'm good to go.

I guess what I am saying is, although I do still care for my ex, the relationship isn't going to go anywhere. I have suffered through the loss and am at peace with it. Maybe I did go into a new relationship too early, I don't know, it just happened without much effort so I let it flow. I'm still letting it flow. I don't hold on to any hope of reconciling with anyone in my past, nor do I want to, so letting go isn't an issue. I was happy being single and I know that I AM MY ONLY SOURCE OF HAPPINESS and don't depend on anyone else for that, so I think that puts me in a good place. But, I guess time will tell. 🙂

Thanks Mr. Nice. I totally appreciate your advice. And I am heeding it as well. You are not treading on anyone else's shoes at all. I know when I post here I open myself up to opininons from many people and I get numerous points of view and welcome them all. 🙂

Thanks for the song lyrics. They made me smile! 😄