Parent Poll

A friend recently told me that if she had her life to live over again that she would not choose to have a child, even though her daughter is a fantastic kid who she loves dearly. A coworker said almost the same thing to me yesterday. Her exact words about becoming a parent were, "I wouldn't recommend it". In fact, this is something I hear quite often. The moms saying it are responsible and loving parents who seem to be doing a great job raising their children. As someone still in the "procreation contemplation" stage, I find this really fascinating. "Officially", everyone's saying that becoming a parent is the best thing that can ever happen to you, but privately they are telling me a different story.

If you are a parent and had it to do over again, would you still choose to be a parent? It goes without saying that you love your children, but would you choose another life style given the opportunity? I would really like to hear some honest answers, even if you want to PM me.

If I had it all to do over again there are many thing I'd change about my life, being a father is not one of them.

I'd not trade being a mother for anything in the world.

It's possible that they didn't mean it exactly as you interpretated it.


Perhaps, they were very young, very young, and having a child at that age ruined a part of their life that they could never recapture .. however, they still love thier kids, and want all the best for them.

If a person could change thier life, as still have the same children that they have .. I'm sure they would do it. perhaps, have a better job, have a more stable relationship where both mom and dad are present their entire childhoods, maybe wait until they were financially stable, wait until they had a better home ... there are all kinds of things we want to change about our choices.

And if a person could change their life, without changing the children .. they would do it. But, you know, if you ask this question to people, they know that the kids would change .. if they had kids, the kids would be different ones, so this is too scary of a thing to ask a person who isn't secure.

Thanks for the replies so far, guys.

I would not be who I am without my boys.I can't imagine not having them!

I see some interesting polls now and then where married people who don't have children are happier with their marriage than people who do have children.


Fine.


Having said that, I don't expect I would have any real reason to exist without my daughter.

I am NOT a parent, so I can ONLY go with what I've heard; and barring my one cousin who has 7 kids (and probably counting). 90% of people I know (friends and family) would give their LIVES for their kids, but ALL of those 90% said if knowing then what they know now, they would NOT have had kids. Now, that's not 100% because clearly (as I stated) there are some who would give their last breaths to have a child.
Many of my friends who have more than one child, have indicated that they only had their second child (and subsequent children) because they thought they would make their relationships stronger/better. ALL of my friends who have more than 2 children are divorce... I am NOT a psychologist, so I don't know what that means. Just interesting to me.
I think children are peachy keen; I just chose not to physically have my own, but I am open to adopting a disadvantaged child and treating them RIGHT.

They say hindsight is a wonderful thing...

have felt like that at times...

not sure I could give up the little buggers even after all the dramas!

Posted by ellessque
I had my children young. I had my first son at the age of 17 and my second at age 19.

I can't have children now...it's practically physically impossible for medical reasons. it would clearly take a miracle.

If I wouldn't have had my kids when I did, I may not have had kids at all.

I would never change that for any other life in any other way, shape or form.

kids are not something you would ever want to wish a "do over". they are here for a reason. just like you are.

My mom would say the same thing.
It was really hard for her. But she'd never change it.

Posted by BellatheBull
I would not be who I am without my boys.I can't imagine not having them!

& this too.

I'd be interested in hearing from even more people who weren't particularly into kids, but then had them anyway. Two of my close friends became accidentally pregnant when they had absolutely no desire for kids. Both intended to terminate their pregnancies, and both changed their minds at the last minute. One of them is thrilled with motherhood, and wants 2 or 3 more children. The other loves her daughter dearly, but, responding to my request to keep me posted on how motherhood is going, will call me and (more often than not) tell me not to have kids.

I should say that the first one is in a stable, happy relationship, and the other is single, although the baby's father loves his daughter and sees her every day. I know that feeling like you have every bit of the responsibility on YOU makes things really hard.