Scorpio woman struggling after a breakup

Background: Scorpio woman + Gemini man, dated almost 4yrs, LDR for the most part

He lives in another country and has been busy with moving to another city, new job, etc. and I have been supportive, been patient, then he became distant and cold: responds to chats less and less, no more video calls, no more sharing of anything significant.

I asked what was up but he wont give a direct answer, except that he says it's not fair for him to ask me to wait. All signs and logic say break it up because it appears he won't be honest and direct and say it is over.

But the idea that the last four years of my life where I let him in, shared my family and friends, invested and emotion was just a waste - all that gone, is overwhelming.

And he won't even be honest and straightforward about it, leaving me hanging, waiting for me to give up and do the quitting.

A less emotional me would say just leave and cut my losses.

But it's too much. It's too much. He's the first one I ever truly loved in my 30yrs here on earth, and he just discards me like that. The other day I managed to get him on the phone and i broke down crying, asking why, what happened, and he just dropped the call. I was so broken. then days later he sends a chat of a movie recommendation, like nothing happened, then treats me like crap again.

If it were my friend saying this story I would say just cut him off already, better do it now than waste more time. I know the right thing to do.

But it's hard. I cry myself to sleep, lost interest in my hobbies, being a zombie at work.

They say scorpio women become vengeful after a breakup, but i'm not interested in that. I'm more concerned that I'm getting in a dark, dark place that will be hard to get out of. I can't open my heart to others when I'm so broken, thinking of how i opened my heart to him and shared everything, only to be left like this, and it seems like he doesn't even care.

You focused too much on the potential instead of the facts. The facts are distance and an excess of time wasted. He's not validating the emotional aspects of the relationship. You shouldn't either. More importantly, no one should have power over you to place you in a dark place. In this scenario, it's not necessarily the relationship in itself that's bothering you, but the emphasis you're placing on it. And this you have the ability to change in an instant.

For future reference, NEVER invest more time, energy, finances, or emotions than whoever else is involved in the relationship and that goes for family friends and companions.

this is so sad i'm sorry

but it seems he's not interested in making things work out

he might be waiting for you to initiate the breakup

Girl don't cry over someone who didn't see your worth..

He's not man enough for you if he doesn't have the courage to end things.

That being said he wants break up no doubt.. "Not fair for me to ask you to wait" - is begging to end everything right then and there. Now if you want to hurt him just go ghost and do not contact him again.. Guilt will eat him up slowly.

He was probably being pragmatic about the situation at hand. It may very well be he still cares a lot for you, but is coming to terms with the fact that sooner, rather than later, the situation will have to come to an end. Even if he doesn't want it to, the brutal reality is that under the current and probably for the foreseeable future, this relationship will not move in the direction of being anything other than and LDR.

I know my ex-husband that is a Gem, left his gf of 4 years. Not because he loved her any less, and not because he didn't want her. But because her religion was very important to her, and he did not believe in her faith. So he broke up with her.

thank you for all the messages! I took the weekend off - went to the beach, had a good time with friends.

I'm feeling much better now, much less emotional. I was trying to make excuses for the behavior and vague messages. I let myself take a plunge, plan a future with someone I thought had the same things in mind, but it's just not meant to be.

I'm cutting my losses and moving on. I allowed my self some grieving time, and maybe will have a cry every now and then, but the goal is just to keep moving forward from now on.

Thank you!!

The more you try to chasing him the more he playing with you

My advice as gemini,

Prove to him that you can move on

Make yourself busy

Make new friends

Find guy to have fun with

Enjoy food

Find new hobbies

He will come again and talk with you to checking up on you

Then

He will got burn by seeing you better without him

The key is

Love yourself first

Prove anyone, not just him that you can stand without anyone.

It sucks when you’ve given so much of yourself and yes it hurts like hell!!

There’s a rule that says it takes 30 days to break a habit and this could be habitual to you right now. Do not contact him for 30 days, promise yourself that, in that time do what you need to try and heal yourself. This will help you move past this... not fully but at the end of the 30 days things will seem so much easier.

If he happens to contact you in this time, don’t give your all. Keep you distance and emotions in check and only answer if he is reaching out fully. Sometimes, they’ll offer enough to keep you on the hook because they miss the attention and you’ll be exactly where you’ve been for 4 long years... nowhere really...

"But the idea that the last four years of my life where I let him in, shared my family and friends, invested and emotion was just a waste - all that gone, is overwhelming. And he won't even be honest and straightforward about it, leaving me hanging, waiting for me to give up and do the quitting."

Hey, nothing is wasted! Those four years are still part of your life, of who you are. They could provide great memories, experience and stories to tell.

Now...it may very well be that he wants out, but is too weak to do it himself, and so he forces your hand by behaving unreasonably. If this what your gut tells you, believe it! You have three options (in no particular order):

1) Carry on, hoping that it's just a phase. He may get really nasty though, to the extend that you won't recognise him anymore.

2) Break up. Shouldn't feel too guilty, the breakup is on him. And you don't lose your self-respect.

3) Separate for at least 6-12 months, with no contact. Arrange that he should be the one to contact you when this time is over. In this way, this painful situation comes to an end. There is plenty of time to get over the anger/pain/him, and for him to sort his shit out. Good chance that he doesn't contact you, but you'll be healed and happy nevertheless.

Posted by Geminisunlibramoon

The more you try to chasing him the more he playing with you

My advice as gemini,

Prove to him that you can move on

Make yourself busy

Make new friends

Find guy to have fun with

Enjoy food

Find new hobbies

He will come again and talk with you to checking up on you

Then

He will got burn by seeing you better without him

The key is

Love yourself first

Prove anyone, not just him that you can stand without anyone.

wellll you were right.

when I was doing better he started chatting again, saying he's not going anywhere even if I push him away, and that he loves me. I resisted.

Then thanksgiving came and he stopped sending messages again lol.

Although this hurts less than the first time it happened, it's like scratching on a wound that's barely healed. Oh well, just proves that he's not worth my time.