"Oh, my name, it ain't nothing. My age, it means less..."
"Time... it changes people's hearts. It'll change yours too. Someday you'll understand."

"You can't run from what you see and feel..."

"Even if it's to save your life, there are some things you just don't do."

"But just as some things can be right and useless at the same time, can’t something be wrong and priceless?"

"I want to follow my heart. Whether it is right or wrong will be judged by history."

Posted by HermesVirgo
Posted by Damnata
Posted by HermesVirgo
She accused me of being manipulative in the relationship and putting her in situations of choosing me verses her other personal and social interest.


Were you?

What did you exactly do and say?



An example of her saying I'm manipulative is regarding my relocation. I chose a city that works best for me with the thought she'd be fine with it several months out. Now as the time approaches she's expressing a need to stay and how I'm selfish for leaving her. She blames my intent as her being forced to come along. I asked her to come up with a compromise and she'd like me to delay moving for 6 months while she completes a personal goal.

There's other examples I could give. I don't agree in being called "manipulative". Maybe it's being persuasive.

click to expand


And maybe your response is sickening. Typical virgo spinning things around to make themselves look better, innocent, etc. In addition to manipulative, you do sound selfish as hell. And like a typical Virgo, you probably won't "get it" anyway. None of it.

Now you asked her to come up with a compromise and she did. So be a mature adult and compromise.

You don't make unilateral decisions believing your significant other will just "come around" eventually, and NOT expect there to be some kind of resentment. For heaven's sake man, THINK!!! Use that brain of yours.

In another post you said you felt closer to her. Good. Take her feelings and thoughts and needs into consideration. LEGITIMATELY. Don't just gloss over them. And learn to start seeing your faults for what they are - faults. Don't put a more positive light on your flaws because you're somehow incapable of seeing the truth of how you've acted, and how you've been. You can look at your own truth, can't you? I mean, you are a Virgo, no?

Poor girl...
Posted by Shrewdsharp
The federal and local government within the jurisdiction of family law considers cheating as an act that can only occur between spouses. In addition until a man is married technically he is single. Marriage is a vow of fidelity! Girlfriend and boyfriend does not constitute marriage. And although people create a barrage of their own constitution of couple ship, in my experience when a man really loves a woman he puts a ring on it. In other words he pledges a vow of fidelity.

I don't know if you turned down his proposal or if if it was Mutual but you were not married so technically legally he is a single man exercising his rights.

If after 3 years you two were not married then one of you doesn't feel like they want to spend the rest of their lives with the other. If you felt like you didn't want to spend the rest of your life with him and then it is kind of selfish for you to be upset. If he was the one who felt like he didn't want to spend the rest of his life with you then who cares about what he's doing.



Are you from some backwards country like Iran or something?

When you and your significant other, married or not, have an agreement on exclusivity and monogamy, you trust them and expect fidelity. When you find out they were unfaithful, IT HURTS. You'd understand that if you weren't emotionally retarded, trying to bring law into the conversation to convince the OP they shouldn't feel bad. I mean, that is beyond butt stupid.
Wow. What a bunch of markers my fellow virgo mooners are. I mean, HOLY butter. What over inflated views of your speed and efficiency you have. What arrogance.

Do I play well with others? Yes. Do I WANT to have to work on a team? No. I'm a loner, but I realize in my profession (teaching) the help I get from my fellow teachers and my own assistants is invaluable. Even if those working along side me DON'T work as fast, or as efficient as myself.

Nearly every year I have to teach assistants how things are to be done with students, in the classroom, etc. I guess that's given me patience. Yes, sometimes I lose patience and have to apologize. I slip up, but acknowledge my mistake. I'll buy my "employees" lunch, let them go home early, or go easy on them the next day. Show them I'm sorry and I value their work and presence. That's what it's about at the end of the day.

I do offer my colleagues helps, but if I'm "too slow" then to Hell with them. They can work longer doing it all themselves and I'll go on my merry way - to my car, to my house.


Posted by gemini64
Posted by LillyPetal
Simple: They ghost you.

My Virgo just didn't reply to my messages for weeks. I was persistent and kept updating him and communicating with him. The sugar crumbs my Virgo left for me was enough to satiate my longing for him - he told me he loved reading my messages even though he wasn't responding. But, I knew he wanted to cut me off but, in a twisted way, he was considerate and wanted me to see it for myself - to see that it wasn't working.

Then one day, months later, my frustration boiled over and I told him he was an ass hole to me. He responded back saying that I was right, that he was no good for me, and he took the verbal beating I gave him.

That anger allowed me to stop communicating with him. It turned to deep heartbreak, but that anger kept me from reaching out. I eventually was able to drown in my sorrow, until one day it became bearable. Not contacting him was easier than trying to reach out to him. The urge to talk to him faded.

It took me over a year, but I survived it. Now, I met the love of my life.

Funny how life happens.


Wow, your story was so close to what I experienced with a life long friend who cut me off. He did the same thing, just ghosting. Still ghosting today, two years later.

I reached out to him several times and tried to be nice and understanding. Then after no response after 6 months, I just told him what I thought of his actions and how disrespectful he was to me. I got tired of being patient and understanding just as you did.

When someone you love/care about/have known for a long time and trust just cuts you off without really explaining their actions, it's not only cruel, it's cowardly. It's much harder to face someone and tell them you are no longer interested in them as a BF or a close friend etc.

Time does help heal, it also allows you to analyze every detail, check off many "what if's" in your mind and then purge all that crap out of your system for good.

The way I look at it and you should too is that it's their loss. They obviously weren't appreciative of a loyal and caring individual who only wanted to know the truth and not be pushed away like a piece of trash.

I applaud your fortitude and endeavor to move on. Congrats on meeting the love of your life. I truly believe the universe has everything in order, we just have to endure our personal trials and tribulations to reach our true objectives and get full meaning out of our lives.

You lost a BF but gained the love of your life. I lost a life time friend, he will never be replaced. But it has given me perspective and also, made me appreciate his role in my life while he was involved.

"Some people come into your lives as lessons; other people come into your live as blessings." ~ Mother Theresa
click to expand


Ah! I had a similar experience with a Virgo friend I no longer have. The ghosting was whenever he'd get in a bad mood. As time went on his regular disrespect and mistreatment of me became more severe. Unfortunately, each time it happened, I felt less warm towards him. I'd be hurt, and less willing to just "carry on" with the friendship like normal. It ended badly, but it's OK. I'm sure he sits around thinking "her loss" and I don't care. Some people (virgos?) are so deluded that when they're wrong, they stupidly don't see it!

I don't even think "his loss" at all. I have a feeling things aren't going to go that great for him in the future because of the way he is. At this point, though I don't wish him ill, I find myself thinking; "This guy is going to learn his lesson. Some day it's going to sink in. SOME DAY, he'll get it." And that, is what I wish; for him to learn his lesson. Because he really needs to. Because when he finally does, he will act better, and his life will get easier.
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by 81gems
Posted by LillyPetal
Simple: They ghost you.

My Virgo just didn't reply to my messages for weeks. I was persistent and kept updating him and communicating with him. The sugar crumbs my Virgo left for me was enough to satiate my longing for him - he told me he loved reading my messages even though he wasn't responding. But, I knew he wanted to cut me off but, in a twisted way, he was considerate and wanted me to see it for myself - to see that it wasn't working.

Then one day, months later, my frustration boiled over and I told him he was an ass hole to me. He responded back saying that I was right, that he was no good for me, and he took the verbal beating I gave him.

That anger allowed me to stop communicating with him. It turned to deep heartbreak, but that anger kept me from reaching out. I eventually was able to drown in my sorrow, until one day it became bearable. Not contacting him was easier than trying to reach out to him. The urge to talk to him faded.

It took me over a year, but I survived it. Now, I met the love of my life.

Funny how life happens.


Anyone who ghosts is a piece of butter. And by your message, the guys WAS a manipulative marker. Hopefully he'll end up broken hearted and alone the rest of his life....

Is he dead yet? He should be. Too bad if he isn't. Let me know when he is.


You remind me a lot of another poster named CC (CaramalizedCoffee.)
click to expand


Oh God. I can assure you I am nothing like.... that...
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by 81gems
Posted by LillyPetal
Simple: They ghost you.

My Virgo just didn't reply to my messages for weeks. I was persistent and kept updating him and communicating with him. The sugar crumbs my Virgo left for me was enough to satiate my longing for him - he told me he loved reading my messages even though he wasn't responding. But, I knew he wanted to cut me off but, in a twisted way, he was considerate and wanted me to see it for myself - to see that it wasn't working.

Then one day, months later, my frustration boiled over and I told him he was an ass hole to me. He responded back saying that I was right, that he was no good for me, and he took the verbal beating I gave him.

That anger allowed me to stop communicating with him. It turned to deep heartbreak, but that anger kept me from reaching out. I eventually was able to drown in my sorrow, until one day it became bearable. Not contacting him was easier than trying to reach out to him. The urge to talk to him faded.

It took me over a year, but I survived it. Now, I met the love of my life.

Funny how life happens.


Anyone who ghosts is a piece of butter. And by your message, the guys WAS a manipulative marker. Hopefully he'll end up broken hearted and alone the rest of his life....

Is he dead yet? He should be. Too bad if he isn't. Let me know when he is.


Lol

He had his own things he needed to sort out. He couldn't be himself because of those personal obstacles, and my being in his life just added to his already existent self-hate because he felt guilty for mistreating me.

I have zero ill will towards him. None. I want him to be happy, to forgive himself, to fall in love, and to be the good man I always saw in him to the woman of his life. I have no doubt he will have children and be a father. ☺️
click to expand


Yes, so I apparently wasn't far off the mark in my assumption. Well, with the way he treated you, he should hate himself. A healthy person would have found a way to deal with the problems, without mistreating others too much or too horribly, and without casting them out of their lives. Hope his future spouse and kids don't end up suffering with a dad/husband who treats them bad, or isn't there," because "butter happened."



Posted by infires
feeling bad

He is messaging me.. telling me that he wants to check up on me but I have a bf.
Conversations with him are interesting and he acts like a tough guy, but he won't give up. He said he won't say goodbye whenever I cut our conversations short because my bf wouldn't like it. He wants to sneakily play games with me (making new accounts)
In fact our communication is 10x better than with my gem.

I thought what it would be like to date him, but I love my bf. Also there's a future planned out with my bf..and this guy doesn't plan to go to school anytime soon. also disapprove of his crowd

how to properly reject someone ?


Do you really love your boyfriend?

Is it impossible for you to tell this stupid Virgo that it's over between the two of you? That you're in a relationship with someone else?

Your emotions are normal. Have you REALLY told him what you're feeling?

Posted by LillyPetal
Simple: They ghost you.

My Virgo just didn't reply to my messages for weeks. I was persistent and kept updating him and communicating with him. The sugar crumbs my Virgo left for me was enough to satiate my longing for him - he told me he loved reading my messages even though he wasn't responding. But, I knew he wanted to cut me off but, in a twisted way, he was considerate and wanted me to see it for myself - to see that it wasn't working.

Then one day, months later, my frustration boiled over and I told him he was an ass hole to me. He responded back saying that I was right, that he was no good for me, and he took the verbal beating I gave him.

That anger allowed me to stop communicating with him. It turned to deep heartbreak, but that anger kept me from reaching out. I eventually was able to drown in my sorrow, until one day it became bearable. Not contacting him was easier than trying to reach out to him. The urge to talk to him faded.

It took me over a year, but I survived it. Now, I met the love of my life.

Funny how life happens.


Anyone who ghosts is a piece of butter. And by your message, the guys WAS a manipulative marker. Hopefully he'll end up broken hearted and alone the rest of his life....

Is he dead yet? He should be. Too bad if he isn't. Let me know when he is.
Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
Posted by Capz
Posted by Gob_buttere
This could be said for women, in general, regardless of race...


I told you to ban her but people don't listen


Stop hanging on to my nuts
click to expand


Oh my God, she's not even a real she. She's a he. Or a he/she with identity issues.

Blacks want to be equal and taken seriously, yet they're always pulling the race card and talking in ghetto.

By the way, if you don't know by now that ALL races of women pull this crap, you have a very limited experience of the world and it's people.



Posted by HermesVirgo

Hello,

Virgo male here. Mercury, 3rd House Virgo in my natal chart. I've been dating a Taurus female the last 2 years. We're on the verge of break up due to a few factors, but ultimately due to a relocation. She accused me of being manipulative in the relationship and putting her in situations of choosing me verses her other personal and social interest. We both have Sag moon, which seems to make our home life almost perfect. It's relaxed and calm, with a little excitement when needed. Sometimes we're even telepathic. However, we can get pretty tense and erupt. I blame it on the Sag moons.

What's the best way to deal with this growing distance or should we try to stick things out ? I've never met a partner that's so relaxed and calm when we're on good terms. Our living together seems like 2nd nature.


So you put "manipulative" in the title, and barely mention it in your post, then go on to mention other (perhaps equally legitimate) factors.

Are you manipulative? Or is that complaint of hers something you're going to let go in one ear and out the other because it isn't convenient for you to address? Sorry to sound so harsh, but a couple of old friends of mine who were both Virgos were manipulative. One had a sagg moon too. He'd always just gloss over his flaws and to the contributions he played in the demises of his relationships. I don't find that way of being very honest or endearing. Maybe you should listen to your girlfriend and actually address the problems you cause. Your relationship might be a little better.

Also, you mention both your sagg moons playing a part in your eruptions. Well, don't just acknowledge the "why" like you're excusing that behavior. Be better than that. Work on it. Change it. Don't just shrug and say, "It's the moons. Oh well..." And yes, she needs to do the same too.

As for the distance, I've been married for 15 years. Our courtship lasted two years. All of which were long distance. Yeah, it works if you both want it to. If you both make the effort. Learn that, and learn it well.

Otherwise; "Living ain't easy, lovin's twice as tough. Come back baby, when you grow up."

Best of luck.
You two have had your ups and downs. Now, she freaked out on you, and apparently moved on real quick.....

1) What did you do?
2) Could she have been fooling around on you, or had another guy waiting the whole time?
Posted by Nouran20
Hey everyone I'm a Taurus sun and sag moon girl. Also my mars is in Aries Venus in Taurus just in case you want to know.
Basically my question here is for sag mooners out there do people tell you your crazy angry? Or perhaps you snap and lose control of what your saying while your mad? Do you think we require anger management and self control? Is it that bad?
My friend a sag sun, cap moon guy says I need to learn to control what I say while I'm angry and perhaps not speak much while I'm angry and that I have to cool down first. My sister thinks i speak too much while I'm angry.

The thing is I don't think I need anger management and I'm not a crazy crazy out of control freak. Usually people think I'm calm and cool. But when someone attacks me or argues with me I like to argue my case hard and firmly. If I'm impatient yes but I'm not an angry freak.

So what do yall have to say about that?


Hi there. I don't have a sagg moon, but I'll share with you some info on a couple of people I know who do. And what I think about when a person says "People say have a problem with XYZ, but I don't. What do you think?"

Two of my old friends have sagg moons. One is a Virgo and one is a Taurus. Both were very unpredictable at times. Their moods seemed to border on being extreme when they were angry, with the Virgo being the worse of the two. From both of them, lots of harsh words and tears shed by everyone on the receiving end. External factors played a role, yes. Nevertheless, both of these individuals could do well to get some therapy and learn how to keep their mouth shut. No one wants to be mistreated by an marker, you know.

I have a student who's a Virgo with a sagg moon and he's a treetrunking nut! I've worked with special ed. kids for YEARS now. This one is the most erratic I've ever had the displeasure of teaching. He's on three different meds to help stabilize his behaviors, yet he remains the same butter head he's always been. He knows full well what he's doing when he's doing it. Yes, his brain is messed up, but I've had plenty of other kids with messed up brains and all kinds of physical, mental, cognitive disabilities. This kid is the worst I've had yet. Must be that sagg moon. He only learns (for a little while) when another kid gets the best of him.

Finally, as for whether or not you need anger management... I will tell you that my dealings with people who had anger, addiction, or mental health issues all went like this...

"You're a damn drunk and you need to go to AA." (said to another Virgo with sagg moon.) "No I don't. I didn't drink that much. I'm fine!"

A relative who ceased their psycho therapy much too early did so because they were "fine."

"You do need anger management. Look at the way you treat your kids!" Their answer? "No I don't need anger management! They just need to listen to me!"

My dad who has a significant hearing loss.... "I don't think I have a hearing problem. I just think they need to repeat things."

In closing, yeah... everyone out there with a problem is "fine." It's everyone else that's the problem...
"I wouldn't get angry if you didn't make me angry!"

Get some help. You could learn a thing or two about managing your anger in a more productive way.
I have Neptune opposite my Sun and square my Moon. I have a friend with the exact same aspects. Some of my family members have had Neptune trine a personal planet, supposedly a positive aspect. In my experience, when I think of myself and said family members, we're all pretty dreamy, artistic, extremely sympathetic, empathetic, sensitive... pathetic? We can really go out on a limb for others and sacrifice a lot to do so. I'll say that I'm not uncomfortable with anyones grief or personal problems, even if I do absorb their feelings for a while, I can't turn away from them.

We can and have been deceived and disillusioned. All that negative stuff that Neptune supposedly causes. None of us have had PROBLEMS with drugs or alcohol, though we do indulge our guilty pleasures regularly (mine is my horrible sweet tooth!) Anyway, I think too much of what is written about Neptune is one sided. The positive aspects get all the glory (you can be artistic, imaginative, sympathetic, helpful, sensitive) while the "bad" aspects make us automatically suck (you might have problems with drugs, weight, deception, you're too "out there" for our own good, your mental heal sucks, you're too weak and wishy washy!)

Well, your input is appreciated, if you have any. I'd like to add one last thing, BOUNDARIES! WE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH BOUNDARIES!!!!
Posted by Damnata
Found this book on google books preview that has sections with how we are based on our birth year. Can't find all of them but I'll post some at least.


What is the name of this book? I'd be interested in buying it.
Wow. Can't believe it. I'd also like to believe he wasn't in his right mind when he killed himself. Poor guy....
Posted by LibraLovesHim
My ex Cap betrayed a Taurus-with me LOL! Go figure. Anyway she came at me like a ragin lunatic pushed me to the ground (I went down like a ton of brick thanks to the copious tequilas) ripped my gold bracelet off called me a just like me then ran away crying. I continued with my night out. She called me the next day attempting to be manipulating re the whole situation. Didn't work with me in the slightest.


What a wimp. Too bad. She lost her opportunity to make you continue your night out in the hospital with a broken nose and teeth, and deep gouges in your skin from digging in her nails. I mean, seriously, what a spineless woman. Some people don't know how to make the most of rage....
Posted by HermesVirgo
Hi.

I'm a Virgo Sun, Sag Moon.

I'm sag moon as well. I express anger by avoidance. I've had blow ups before where I reached a boiling point and I can get pretty verbal if heated. More times than not, I tend to distance or remove myself completely. When angry I tend to ignore someone's existence or be purposely inconsiderate.


You Virgos are good at ignoring a person, being petty, and passive aggressive. Not really a very mature, adult way of being now, is it? And you don't take it so well when it's done to you, huh? At least that's been my experience.

One of my ex Virgo friends also had a sagg moon. He was just like you describe. That's why he's all alone. That's why he's been divorced, and has had numerous relationships. And thats why he'll probably stay alone the rest of his life. Just what he deserves.

When he's angry, he doesn't know any treetrunking better. And in the years that I knew him, he never strove to be better than what he was. He also loved being right and arguing about it all the time. Could not own up to his mistakes. Couldn't say sorry and mean it. Are those virgo or Sagg traits?

Oh yeah, I've know other sagg suns and mooners. They're ability to be so butt stupid when it came to holding their tongues was absolutely amazing. And not in a good way.

"Forgiving doesn't make them right it just makes you free."
"Forgiveness is a byproduct of healing. Not the cause of it."

These two quotes. I've wrestled with at times. Most of my life, I take and take and take. And at a certain point, the relationship goes to crap and I refuse to forgive.

I am a person that loves and hates with equal passion. I can revel in, and enjoy either. Hating someone drives the unforgiveness. Does the offender know? No. Do they care? Probably not. Does it make me weak? No. It means I'm still feeling what they've done. I'm still hurt. And, you can't really blame a person for being wounded, or put an expiration date on a persons pain.

Unforgiveness and grudges go hand and hand. I want the offender to hurt, and be miserable. Because they were markers who had no regard for my feelings. This is how I feel now. In the future, I will forgive them. But the relationship is dead. I will not wish for the world/God/karma to make them pay. But I've no desire to have them in my life ever again. That doesn't make me bitter or spiteful. It makes me smart about my self preservation.

In closing, neither one nor the other defines your strength or weakness.
Hey, he's only doing what virgos excel at; ignoring/disregarding another human being whenever the mood strikes them to do so.

Who knows what it could be. Give it as much time as you want to, then either decide if you want to hang around or not. Personally, I think doing that to a person who's obviously been trying to reach out is pretty crappy.