Posted by Capwiththean
Posted by 81gems
Posted by Capwiththean
Posted by 81gems
Posted by Capwiththean
Posted by PootyButt
Posted by Capwiththean
My Gemini and I got into our first argument and it resulted in me telling her I can't trust her and I don't know if I see a future for us. I calmed down and realized although she was definitely wrong, maybe I was being a bit dramatic and should've been more open to talking to her and allowing her to clarify some things. I've tried calling her, she won't answer, she did text me back to confirm "she wasn't mad, she's fine". Should I just leave her alone? Will she come around?



A Gemini is looking for her soulmate. A Gemini's soulmate won't tell her he sees no future with her. He doesn't tell her he doesn't trust her. He doesn't threaten to shut her out of his life for making a mistake that her personality makes her liable to make once in a while. Geminis are forgiving, and we expect to be forgiven. She's probably wondering now whether she should go forward. You've made it pretty clear that if she screws up again, and she knows she will, because Geminis know we are imperfect, you will leave her. Why should she chance that pain?



😩 I know I know it was a harsh thing to say. I feel like we'd both be chancing the pain though. It's been like 2-3 months we've been talking and she's already made a bad situation worse with my family. Be it intentional or not. What's next?


Screw the family. That's what. You have your own life to live.

My relationship with my brother is nonexistent. My parents aren't happy about it and they have sometimes given me butter for it. But I've stood my ground, and they realized that my brother and I are adults, with our own personalities, beliefs, and minds. They've reluctantly accepted it. I know your situation is different, but, yeah, like I said to Hell with them.

As someone else already said, FORGIVE. Earth signs fail to realize that everyone is a human being and everyone makes mistakes. Right?

Right.

Remember the slogans for each sign; Gemini - I communicate. Capricorn - I use. Poor rest of the human race.

Anyway, if you're involved with a Gemini, remember this. I'll tell you that it's true, some Gemini's can't commit, and some can't keep their traps shut, and some do inadvertently backstab. Some, you can't trust. But this isn't just "some Gemini." This is a girl you're seeing and getting to know. You're involved with her on some level. You shouldn't chuck the whole thing after one or two mistakes. Particularly since you'll make plenty of your own throughout your life.

I'm a gem with a virgo moon. The devoid-of-heart rigidity and ruthlessness of Capricorn does appeal to me on some level, but I am more sensitive than most Gemini's. When I'm hurt, I'm hurt. I may not talk and communicate. When someone comes around and apologizes, (or tires to in some way) I may be like, "Oh, you want to apologize now? Well, now it's YOUR TURN!" But that is usually how I get after being made to feel like butter more than a few times. Gemini's can be forgiving and let it go sooner rather than later. But we do take what others say to heart WHEN IT HURTS OUR FEELINGS.

Best of luck to both of you.


That's the hardest part about moving forward with her, being a Gemini and all, I'm almost WAITING for her to f*** up. When will she run her mouth again? When will I catch her in a lie? I'm such a pessimist and I naturally expect the worst out of people but you're absolutely right, people make mistakes I must learn to stop being so critical (I swear I'm working on it). She's actually rubbed me the wrong way again, she stood me up this weekend, but instead of being a douche I just.... didn't say anything. She hasn't reached out to me, and I don't plan to reach out to her. The further I delve into Gemini land the more I realize why I don't work with you all lol.


That's not right on her part. She should have contacted you to say what the problem is/was. Like, "I need a break from you" or "I don't think I want to go out with you anymore." Or whatever the reason may have been...

I fell asleep
I was throwing up
I forgot

At least an "oops. I'm sorry."

Also, you should have said something. You don't need to be a douche. You can voice disappointment, irritation, anger and frustration without being a douche (you did know that right?) All you had to say was "Hey, what happened? Where were you? I waited for you and you never showed."



It just feels a bit forced for me to express my disappointment at this point, after going off on her not even a week earlier about all the family stuff, then squashing it just to turn around and complain about something else. I just look at it like, if she wanted to come, she would've come, if she cared to explain why she didn't come, she would explain (without me having to question it). A few gems commented and said things would shift after the whole family shabang so I'll just chalk it up to that.
click to expand


Hmm... I feel the need to give a bit of insight into how I am as a Gemini when hurt. Dunno why this prompts me to do so.

It's like, if someone says to me, in anger, "I don't see any future with us as friends/business partners/etc." I tend to hold on to that. It does change things because I am hurt. Later on when they try to smooth things over, it may be a thing like..... "Oh yeah? Really? You're sorry? You didn't mean it, huh? BS!" Because I'm hurt.

Later on, I more often than not choose to say, "Hey, you said there was no future. You said you were through with the friendship/partnership. NOW you're saying sorry? What for?!"

So, I guess I kind of hold on to what is said. If someone was pissed off and said, "You blabbermouth. You dummy! You stupid!" that would be insulting, but different. Getting mad and calling it quits is a WHOLE OTHER THING.

Lesson learned to both of you. I HOPE. Especially you. Primarily you. Get to know a person better. But when the other person treetrunks up, really LOOK at ALL aspects of the situation and THINK before you speak.

Also, since your family is going to be around for a long time, I suggest the following; think about your relationship with them and if it's worth salvaging or maintaining. Do you really need them in your life? Do you need their support, their approval, etc? If you say yes, I find that difficult to believe. You're a Capricorn. You don't need people. All you need is a career and money, no? (JOKING!)

Seriously, think of that and decide. Once you know where they stand in your life, keep that in mind the next time your friend or girlfriend causes strife with you and your family. You shouldn't want to lose a relationship you are investing time into over a relationship that's more or less half dead.
Neither. They're both markers.
Posted by Capwiththean
Posted by 81gems
Posted by Capwiththean
Posted by PootyButt
Posted by Capwiththean
My Gemini and I got into our first argument and it resulted in me telling her I can't trust her and I don't know if I see a future for us. I calmed down and realized although she was definitely wrong, maybe I was being a bit dramatic and should've been more open to talking to her and allowing her to clarify some things. I've tried calling her, she won't answer, she did text me back to confirm "she wasn't mad, she's fine". Should I just leave her alone? Will she come around?



A Gemini is looking for her soulmate. A Gemini's soulmate won't tell her he sees no future with her. He doesn't tell her he doesn't trust her. He doesn't threaten to shut her out of his life for making a mistake that her personality makes her liable to make once in a while. Geminis are forgiving, and we expect to be forgiven. She's probably wondering now whether she should go forward. You've made it pretty clear that if she screws up again, and she knows she will, because Geminis know we are imperfect, you will leave her. Why should she chance that pain?



😩 I know I know it was a harsh thing to say. I feel like we'd both be chancing the pain though. It's been like 2-3 months we've been talking and she's already made a bad situation worse with my family. Be it intentional or not. What's next?


Screw the family. That's what. You have your own life to live.

My relationship with my brother is nonexistent. My parents aren't happy about it and they have sometimes given me butter for it. But I've stood my ground, and they realized that my brother and I are adults, with our own personalities, beliefs, and minds. They've reluctantly accepted it. I know your situation is different, but, yeah, like I said to Hell with them.

As someone else already said, FORGIVE. Earth signs fail to realize that everyone is a human being and everyone makes mistakes. Right?

Right.

Remember the slogans for each sign; Gemini - I communicate. Capricorn - I use. Poor rest of the human race.

Anyway, if you're involved with a Gemini, remember this. I'll tell you that it's true, some Gemini's can't commit, and some can't keep their traps shut, and some do inadvertently backstab. Some, you can't trust. But this isn't just "some Gemini." This is a girl you're seeing and getting to know. You're involved with her on some level. You shouldn't chuck the whole thing after one or two mistakes. Particularly since you'll make plenty of your own throughout your life.

I'm a gem with a virgo moon. The devoid-of-heart rigidity and ruthlessness of Capricorn does appeal to me on some level, but I am more sensitive than most Gemini's. When I'm hurt, I'm hurt. I may not talk and communicate. When someone comes around and apologizes, (or tires to in some way) I may be like, "Oh, you want to apologize now? Well, now it's YOUR TURN!" But that is usually how I get after being made to feel like butter more than a few times. Gemini's can be forgiving and let it go sooner rather than later. But we do take what others say to heart WHEN IT HURTS OUR FEELINGS.

Best of luck to both of you.


That's the hardest part about moving forward with her, being a Gemini and all, I'm almost WAITING for her to f*** up. When will she run her mouth again? When will I catch her in a lie? I'm such a pessimist and I naturally expect the worst out of people but you're absolutely right, people make mistakes I must learn to stop being so critical (I swear I'm working on it). She's actually rubbed me the wrong way again, she stood me up this weekend, but instead of being a douche I just.... didn't say anything. She hasn't reached out to me, and I don't plan to reach out to her. The further I delve into Gemini land the more I realize why I don't work with you all lol.
click to expand


That's not right on her part. She should have contacted you to say what the problem is/was. Like, "I need a break from you" or "I don't think I want to go out with you anymore." Or whatever the reason may have been...

I fell asleep
I was throwing up
I forgot

At least an "oops. I'm sorry."

Also, you should have said something. You don't need to be a douche. You can voice disappointment, irritation, anger and frustration without being a douche (you did know that right?) All you had to say was "Hey, what happened? Where were you? I waited for you and you never showed."
Posted by Capwiththean
Posted by PootyButt
Posted by Capwiththean
My Gemini and I got into our first argument and it resulted in me telling her I can't trust her and I don't know if I see a future for us. I calmed down and realized although she was definitely wrong, maybe I was being a bit dramatic and should've been more open to talking to her and allowing her to clarify some things. I've tried calling her, she won't answer, she did text me back to confirm "she wasn't mad, she's fine". Should I just leave her alone? Will she come around?



A Gemini is looking for her soulmate. A Gemini's soulmate won't tell her he sees no future with her. He doesn't tell her he doesn't trust her. He doesn't threaten to shut her out of his life for making a mistake that her personality makes her liable to make once in a while. Geminis are forgiving, and we expect to be forgiven. She's probably wondering now whether she should go forward. You've made it pretty clear that if she screws up again, and she knows she will, because Geminis know we are imperfect, you will leave her. Why should she chance that pain?



😩 I know I know it was a harsh thing to say. I feel like we'd both be chancing the pain though. It's been like 2-3 months we've been talking and she's already made a bad situation worse with my family. Be it intentional or not. What's next?
click to expand


Screw the family. That's what. You have your own life to live.

My relationship with my brother is nonexistent. My parents aren't happy about it and they have sometimes given me butter for it. But I've stood my ground, and they realized that my brother and I are adults, with our own personalities, beliefs, and minds. They've reluctantly accepted it. I know your situation is different, but, yeah, like I said to Hell with them.

As someone else already said, FORGIVE. Earth signs fail to realize that everyone is a human being and everyone makes mistakes. Right?

Right.

Remember the slogans for each sign; Gemini - I communicate. Capricorn - I use. Poor rest of the human race.

Anyway, if you're involved with a Gemini, remember this. I'll tell you that it's true, some Gemini's can't commit, and some can't keep their traps shut, and some do inadvertently backstab. Some, you can't trust. But this isn't just "some Gemini." This is a girl you're seeing and getting to know. You're involved with her on some level. You shouldn't chuck the whole thing after one or two mistakes. Particularly since you'll make plenty of your own throughout your life.

I'm a gem with a virgo moon. The devoid-of-heart rigidity and ruthlessness of Capricorn does appeal to me on some level, but I am more sensitive than most Gemini's. When I'm hurt, I'm hurt. I may not talk and communicate. When someone comes around and apologizes, (or tires to in some way) I may be like, "Oh, you want to apologize now? Well, now it's YOUR TURN!" But that is usually how I get after being made to feel like butter more than a few times. Gemini's can be forgiving and let it go sooner rather than later. But we do take what others say to heart WHEN IT HURTS OUR FEELINGS.

Best of luck to both of you.
Posted by neves
In most cases, same as every other human being...

As for being two-faced - that shows best when a Gemini is hurt...



So, yeah... she's fine! ^ ^


That is true of all women. Period.
Posted by TerramineLightvoid
Posted by 81gems
Posted by TerramineLightvoid
Posted by 81gems
Posted by TerramineLightvoid
Posted by 81gems
Posted by TerramineLightvoid
Don't have time to watch the video all the way through. But I wanted to say something because a lot of chode ass mofos on here like to fling the word Narcissist my way when I'm discussing things with people here on this forum.

For one. A lot of what this guy is saying only really applies in relationships. Better yet like he says. Whether or not you can label someone a "Narcissist" doesn't matter. What matters is whether they are ABUSIVE or not.

If someone says something you don't like. Whether or not they are a narcissist really does not matter 1 treetrunkin bit. Whether or not someone has an attitude or you think they are "mean. Has no reflection at all upon the validity, credibility, and truth of their words.

If you are a donkey and someone calls you a donkey. It is because you're a donkey. Insulting is not necessarily abuse. It can be punishment. Insulting random strangers is not abusive lmao

What is abusive is when you insult someone who is close to you. If y'all are close, whether as friends or whathaveyou. Then you are already co-operative and compromising enough to just talk things out understandingly.

If I don't know you. I'll call you stupid all day. The problem isn't me calling you stupid. It is that you let a complete stranger bother you.


Your last message sounds like, "If you're bothered by my disrespect, it's YOUR fault."

Narcissist.

Actually that's exactly how it goes cause you are a stranger. I owe you nothing more than human rights. I could be a dick to you for no reason and there is no logic or fact that can say whether I should or shouldn't.

You are responsible for your own butthurt when dealing with someone on a superficial and distant level.

Hurt is a fact of life. You have no inherent right to be protected from butthurt.


Ah, I was wrong to call you a narcissist. Should have been "first class marker" instead.

Being NICE isn't righteous in a world full of ignorance and evil.


Hmm.... Yes. Obviously the two extremes you know best.

Lolno that's you sheeple.
click to expand


And arrogant and self deluded too boot! A fine example of a narcissist indeed. If only your written communication and composition didn't suck, you'd be true sociopath material.

My apologies to the OP for derailing this thread.
Posted by TerramineLightvoid
Posted by 81gems
Posted by TerramineLightvoid
Posted by 81gems
Posted by TerramineLightvoid
Don't have time to watch the video all the way through. But I wanted to say something because a lot of chode ass mofos on here like to fling the word Narcissist my way when I'm discussing things with people here on this forum.

For one. A lot of what this guy is saying only really applies in relationships. Better yet like he says. Whether or not you can label someone a "Narcissist" doesn't matter. What matters is whether they are ABUSIVE or not.

If someone says something you don't like. Whether or not they are a narcissist really does not matter 1 treetrunkin bit. Whether or not someone has an attitude or you think they are "mean. Has no reflection at all upon the validity, credibility, and truth of their words.

If you are a donkey and someone calls you a donkey. It is because you're a donkey. Insulting is not necessarily abuse. It can be punishment. Insulting random strangers is not abusive lmao

What is abusive is when you insult someone who is close to you. If y'all are close, whether as friends or whathaveyou. Then you are already co-operative and compromising enough to just talk things out understandingly.

If I don't know you. I'll call you stupid all day. The problem isn't me calling you stupid. It is that you let a complete stranger bother you.


Your last message sounds like, "If you're bothered by my disrespect, it's YOUR fault."

Narcissist.

Actually that's exactly how it goes cause you are a stranger. I owe you nothing more than human rights. I could be a dick to you for no reason and there is no logic or fact that can say whether I should or shouldn't.

You are responsible for your own butthurt when dealing with someone on a superficial and distant level.

Hurt is a fact of life. You have no inherent right to be protected from butthurt.


Ah, I was wrong to call you a narcissist. Should have been "first class marker" instead.

Being NICE isn't righteous in a world full of ignorance and evil.
click to expand


Hmm.... Yes. Obviously the two extremes you know best.
Posted by SomeSortOfMermaid
Sorry OP but you're really showing here how much you don't know about the essence of Virgos.

It's like people want to forget Virgos are a) human, and b) very much have a mind of their own, moreso than most signs.

People stay wanting to mold mutables into whatever they think we should be lol


I remember a while back posting a messages which said something to the effect of "Don't Virgo's realize that people have their own interests and minds, and don't want to be molded into something the virgo deems 'acceptable'"? One Virgo responded with a "No."

Well... not my job to understand things for people who don't get it.

My brother is now 45 and going through a divorce. He confessed to everyone in the family (except me because I did what Virgo's do best - I "iced" him) that he was wrong in how he treated his children. He had always been "too hard" on them. Forgetting that they were children who needed guidance and help. Looks like he forgot that his children were human, with minds of their own. Must've been my brother's four planets in Virgo.

A friend of mine grew increasingly demanding of my time, and service. Completely forgot about what it meant to be a friend. In the end he became insulting. He too forgot that I am a human being, with my own interests, and that I don't live for him.... Must've been HIS four planets in Virgo.

This thread bought to mind an old male Virgo friend of mine I haven't seen in years. Now he's 38, and still single. Never had a relationship that lasted more than a year. He told me, verbatim, "If you're not perfect you're wasting my time." I was never interested in him, and I felt sorry for anyone who was. Anyway, looks like another case of a Virgo not remember that people are humans.

The female virgo's I've know were all pretty cool. Still, it seemed like they were never all that crazy, or all that happy with anyone in their personal lives. Some signs are never satisfied.

I am a Gemini. I too forget that people are only human. Must be that Virgo moon of mine.

Posted by TerramineLightvoid
Posted by 81gems
Posted by TerramineLightvoid
Don't have time to watch the video all the way through. But I wanted to say something because a lot of chode ass mofos on here like to fling the word Narcissist my way when I'm discussing things with people here on this forum.

For one. A lot of what this guy is saying only really applies in relationships. Better yet like he says. Whether or not you can label someone a "Narcissist" doesn't matter. What matters is whether they are ABUSIVE or not.

If someone says something you don't like. Whether or not they are a narcissist really does not matter 1 treetrunkin bit. Whether or not someone has an attitude or you think they are "mean. Has no reflection at all upon the validity, credibility, and truth of their words.

If you are a donkey and someone calls you a donkey. It is because you're a donkey. Insulting is not necessarily abuse. It can be punishment. Insulting random strangers is not abusive lmao

What is abusive is when you insult someone who is close to you. If y'all are close, whether as friends or whathaveyou. Then you are already co-operative and compromising enough to just talk things out understandingly.

If I don't know you. I'll call you stupid all day. The problem isn't me calling you stupid. It is that you let a complete stranger bother you.


Your last message sounds like, "If you're bothered by my disrespect, it's YOUR fault."

Narcissist.

Actually that's exactly how it goes cause you are a stranger. I owe you nothing more than human rights. I could be a dick to you for no reason and there is no logic or fact that can say whether I should or shouldn't.

You are responsible for your own butthurt when dealing with someone on a superficial and distant level.

Hurt is a fact of life. You have no inherent right to be protected from butthurt.
click to expand


Ah, I was wrong to call you a narcissist. Should have been "first class marker" instead.

Posted by TerramineLightvoid
Don't have time to watch the video all the way through. But I wanted to say something because a lot of chode ass mofos on here like to fling the word Narcissist my way when I'm discussing things with people here on this forum.

For one. A lot of what this guy is saying only really applies in relationships. Better yet like he says. Whether or not you can label someone a "Narcissist" doesn't matter. What matters is whether they are ABUSIVE or not.

If someone says something you don't like. Whether or not they are a narcissist really does not matter 1 treetrunkin bit. Whether or not someone has an attitude or you think they are "mean. Has no reflection at all upon the validity, credibility, and truth of their words.

If you are a donkey and someone calls you a donkey. It is because you're a donkey. Insulting is not necessarily abuse. It can be punishment. Insulting random strangers is not abusive lmao

What is abusive is when you insult someone who is close to you. If y'all are close, whether as friends or whathaveyou. Then you are already co-operative and compromising enough to just talk things out understandingly.

If I don't know you. I'll call you stupid all day. The problem isn't me calling you stupid. It is that you let a complete stranger bother you.


Your last message sounds like, "If you're bothered by my disrespect, it's YOUR fault."

Narcissist.
Posted by yupvirgoo
Posted by Rindaroo
Posted by yupvirgoo
Posted by Rindaroo
Posted by yupvirgoo
Posted by Rindaroo
Similar experience. It was 3 years & we were planning on getting married. Well it wasnt about the feelings or spark, he actually struggled with coming to see me for months. I finally had to stop the torture & tell him to leave me alone. 25 years later I got the real answers. He said it was just a choice. He chose a life he didn't think I could live. That was it. It was over. Love didn't matter.

Look at what he was analyzing, or struggling with.



What do you mean by "he chose a life he didn't think I could live?"


Mom & Dad had money, and he was afraid he would be cut off if he married me. So he lived the life mom & dad wanted. Worked for Dad, perfect Catholic boy, and found a wife who didn't have career ambitions but fit the Catholic stay at home mom and who his mother would approve of. I was about to graduate from college, had big career plans & it's as if he set me free to be me.

I suppose he did the right thing. I don't do to well when I feel trapped, that Sag thing.. of course I didn't understand that til I was in my 40's.


You would've hated that life and you would've resented him until you hate him.

It would not have ended well.


You are right. However, I wish he had the balls to tell me the truth when he broke up with me. I took it wrong & my life didn't go so well anyway. It took me 25 years to decide to deal with this & the rest of my life. understanding it makes a big difference, ah communication.... I guess my point here is sometimes it's just hard for them to talk about the real truth.


Maybe he thought you'd try to fight it you know.. mold yourself into that housewife role. That's what I'd be thinking if I were him. I guess for me... it would be better to just let go and maybe let the person hate me for awhile so long as in the end, I don't regret that I've been selfish by dragging her into a life that she would not be happy with.

It's just heartbreaking that it took you so long to see that.
click to expand


No. It's not heartbreaking it took HER so long to SEE that. It's heart breaking that jerk, as she said, didn't have the balls to tell her the reason why at the time. He couldn't say "My inheritance matters more to me that what we have, so it's over. Sorry I have to break your heart over money, but..." That was all he had to say.

And the fact he couldn't be a man and stand up to his parents... COWARD!
Posted by Virgorean
Posted by 81gems

I recently had a falling out with a Virgo friend. Had to point out how much of a narcissist and pompous ass he was being. "No wonder you're alone!" I said. I hurt him, and he was depressed for a while. But, he finally got it! Now, If I was a Virgo, I'd expect praise and thanks no matter how butterty he felt. Since I'm not, I apologized. Whole heartedly.


My first instinct was that you must have been hurt by a Virgo because why else the vent?…and well, what do we see here...


Virgo's are too busy telling others how they SHOULD live their lives. They forgot that no one has to live by their rules.


We are not the dictators that you think we are. People ask us for our advice because we tend to be rationale-minded when we give it. We are blunt people and if you don’t appreciate our input then don’t ask. Simply put. You forgot that nobody has to listen to the advice given to them. It’s up to the person to form their own judgement or we like to refer to it as ‘freewill.’


They never apologize. Period. Even when they do, it's probably not because they feel bad. They don't feel anything. Probably more so because they just want to put it in the past already!


Contradicting. First you say we never apologize then you say we do, well which is it?

We apologize a lot. It feels like we don’t because we don’t put in as much emotion as is expected. Sometimes that may lead to us avoiding confrontation to reason that if an apology to you is what will help us move forward then an apology is what you will get. Virgos are also action-oriented-the firm believer that words are merely words unless proven otherwise. We will show our apologies through other ways. Of course we want to put it in the past. The goal is to move forwards, not backwards. Once an issue has been resolved then why bring it up again?


They disappear because they don't want to get hurt. Well really, WHO DOES???


Understandable, but it is human nature as a whole. People have different ways of dealing with their emotions-some are expressive and open about it, others internalize it. The part I don’t agree with is disappearing without a word. It’s decency to at least inform the person that space is needed rather than drop off the radar. A simple notice with no explanation needed. It can prevent a lot of miscommunications and interpretations that I have seen too often occur.


When you throw BS they've said back in their face and confront them, they become cowards. Don't want to address it. You haven't gotten over what they did, so it must be YOUR fault.


We are non-confrontational. You have a better chance of having us understand if you speak diplomatically. Instead of casting accusations such as “You did this” or “You made me” try expressing YOUR feelings “I feel a certain way.”


They think they're the nicest. The most passionate. The best lovers. The smartest. Talk about stroking egos.

In a way they are pretty hypocritical too. Expecting special treatment or allowances for things they'd never let others get away with.

We don’t think that, but we do strive to be the best we can. People have these pre-conceived notions of us based off astrology where they put us up on this pedestal and are expected to act in this manner that they forget we are humans and to err is human. Therefore, when we do make a mistake it’s blown to some grandiose, unspeakable act of epic proportions.
click to expand


Your post was great. I hope I don't run out of room replying...

Yes, I was hurt by my Virgo friend. But, to hell with him now. I also have a Virgo brother, and have had other Virgo friends. Men and women. They have all acted in similar ways. Some of them are cool, some of them weren't. I'll say the women were all right. The men, all in time, ended up acting like cookiemonsteres.

And yes, the Virgo's I've known, at times, DID try to tell me how to live my life without my asking. Or they'd do things like "I like this book. I think it would educate you. Why don't you read it? It's insulting to me if you don't read it." It's things like this, and advice that isn't asked for, that I'd rather not be subjected to. I don't need any non-relative trying to mold me into the type of person they think I should be.

I am non-confrontational too. The two Virgo's I've had the biggest problems with were males. I was as non-confrontational as them, but they kept pushing me. More and more. In life, I've learned that, regardless of your sign, if one is going to repeatedly be an ass to someone, sooner or later they're going to have them lash out. The Virgo needs to be prepared to deal with the repercussions of the butter storm THEY helped to create. Not buckle down and run away shouting "leave me alone. I can't take this. I'm too sensitive. You're not diplomatic enough!!!" Everyone reaps what they've sown. Virgo's shouldn't get to be exempt from this by virtue of their sign.

I'm sure you've read enough on here about Virgo's disappearing without a word. You don't agree with it. Great. But it is a flaw of many Virgo's. I'm also sure you've read posts on here about "We're really the most passionate of lovers." or "We really are the nicest of all signs." So, again, ego stroking. Anyone else saying the same thing would be called arrogant, self absorbed, self important, etc.

Virgo's don't want to be told about their mistakes because they beat themselves up over it. Well, too bad. As I've said, no one should get special treatment because of their sign.

If they're sorry, they will apologize with actions. Fair enough. But how about if the person lives far away? Or you're "too busy" to make time to go see them? What's wrong with using words over the phone, or email, or a letter or card? No? beneath some Virgo's I guess?

And maybe that's what I find so off putting about Virgo's. The whole lot of excuses they have for the mistakes they made. The rationalizations they use for the things they don't do and/or should not have done. We're adults. Making excuses and trying to justify crappy mistakes is all right when you're young and dumb. But if you're in your 30's? Or 40's? Gotta do the right thing man. Not just rationalize yourself away.

I am a Gemini with a Virgo moon. I get Virgo's. I've learned from them why I sometimes think and feel and react the way I do. They're OK as a whole. I guess.
Posted by Sunsetvirgo
Posted by 81gems
In the end, people legitimately earn their hatred. Virgo's didn't get this memo...

Virgo's are too busy telling others how they SHOULD live their lives. They forgot that no one has to live by their rules.

They never apologize. Period. Even when they do, it's probably not because they feel bad. They don't feel anything. Probably more so because they just want to put it in the past already!

They need time to figure things out, so they disappear. They somehow believe they should get a pass for doing this. Newsflash, no one wants to be "ghosted" for a month or year while you flake ("figure things") out.

They disappear because they don't want to get hurt. Well really, WHO DOES???

When you throw BS they've said back in their face and confront them, they become cowards. Don't want to address it. You haven't gotten over what they did, so it must be YOUR fault.

They think they're the nicest. The most passionate. The best lovers. The smartest. Talk about stroking egos.

In a way they are pretty hypocritical too. Expecting special treatment or allowances for things they'd never let others get away with.

I recently had a falling out with a Virgo friend. Had to point out how much of a narcissist and pompous ass he was being. "No wonder you're alone!" I said. I hurt him, and he was depressed for a while. But, he finally got it! Now, If I was a Virgo, I'd expect praise and thanks no matter how butterty he felt. Since I'm not, I apologized. Whole heartedly.



WAYMENT.
He left you for a month or a year and you allowed him back into your life ???
PAUSE
Am I reading this correctly
click to expand


I don't think you read it wrong, but that wasn't what I meant. No, I've never been left by a Virgo. I've never been in a romantic relationship with one.

Posted by yupvirgoo
Posted by 81gems
In the end, people legitimately earn their hatred. Virgo's didn't get this memo...

Virgo's are too busy telling others how they SHOULD live their lives. They forgot that no one has to live by their rules.

They never apologize. Period. Even when they do, it's probably not because they feel bad. They don't feel anything. Probably more so because they just want to put it in the past already!

They need time to figure things out, so they disappear. They somehow believe they should get a pass for doing this. Newsflash, no one wants to be "ghosted" for a month or year while you flake ("figure things") out.

They disappear because they don't want to get hurt. Well really, WHO DOES???

When you throw BS they've said back in their face and confront them, they become cowards. Don't want to address it. You haven't gotten over what they did, so it must be YOUR fault.

They think they're the nicest. The most passionate. The best lovers. The smartest. Talk about stroking egos.

In a way they are pretty hypocritical too. Expecting special treatment or allowances for things they'd never let others get away with.

I recently had a falling out with a Virgo friend. Had to point out how much of a narcissist and pompous ass he was being. "No wonder you're alone!" I said. I hurt him, and he was depressed for a while. But, he finally got it! Now, If I was a Virgo, I'd expect praise and thanks no matter how butterty he felt. Since I'm not, I apologized. Whole heartedly.



was it really wholehearted?

coz you're right here bragging about it

you are ALWAYS on our board talking shyte about us

so you had ONE bad experience with a Virgo FRIEND

nobody told you to apologize but you did, it was your choice and that's the Virgos's fault HOW?

take responsibility for your own choices, actions and emotions coz those aren't on us
click to expand



Yes it was wholehearted. I'm not bragging. I'm stating a truth. That isn't bragging.

I never said it was his fault that I apologized. Never implied that either.

I've had more than one bad experience with more than one Virgo. Try several. But in the grand scheme of things, my "bad" experiences aren't even all that bad compared to other things I've been through.
In the end, people legitimately earn their hatred. Virgo's didn't get this memo...

Virgo's are too busy telling others how they SHOULD live their lives. They forgot that no one has to live by their rules.

They never apologize. Period. Even when they do, it's probably not because they feel bad. They don't feel anything. Probably more so because they just want to put it in the past already!

They need time to figure things out, so they disappear. They somehow believe they should get a pass for doing this. Newsflash, no one wants to be "ghosted" for a month or year while you flake ("figure things") out.

They disappear because they don't want to get hurt. Well really, WHO DOES???

When you throw BS they've said back in their face and confront them, they become cowards. Don't want to address it. You haven't gotten over what they did, so it must be YOUR fault.

They think they're the nicest. The most passionate. The best lovers. The smartest. Talk about stroking egos.

In a way they are pretty hypocritical too. Expecting special treatment or allowances for things they'd never let others get away with.

I recently had a falling out with a Virgo friend. Had to point out how much of a narcissist and pompous ass he was being. "No wonder you're alone!" I said. I hurt him, and he was depressed for a while. But, he finally got it! Now, If I was a Virgo, I'd expect praise and thanks no matter how butterty he felt. Since I'm not, I apologized. Whole heartedly.

I posted a while back about problems I was having with a Virgo friend. I told my mother all about it today. She mentioned the word "betrayal." I had never thought of his treatment of me in that way, but I believe she's right.

Eventually, he asked for forgiveness. Just emailed on his own, said "forgive me" and expressed regret. I was surprised. Although I forgave him, (too quickly perhaps?) I really don't know why he bothered.

Since you Virgo's never apologize, when you do, is it sincere? Or do you just do it to get back into someones life because you're bored, not busy at the moment, need a distraction, or such?

And, what constitutes as betrayal to you Virgo's? From good friends and/or best friends? That's what we were. Strictly platonic. None of that FWB bullbutter.

People say and do things when they are angry. They may remain angry for days or weeks. They act out of "righteous indignation."

Later on, they may realize they were a total ass. They regret what they may have said. So, they apologize for it. Simple as that.

What is more complicated is the damage that's been done.

No. No one is responsible for the feelings of anyone else. But, if you give a butter about the person, apologies are important in making reparations.

Trust me, an apology doesn't nullify what you said or did. If you are honest with a person, saying sorry doesn't take away the "honesty" of your words. On the flip side, an apology doesn't take away the brutalness of what you said either. All an apology SHOULD do is show the person you regret hurting them. Realize though, that sometimes, an apology will never be enough. And forgiveness isn't a right.

Another thing is, people have this belief that they're not going to apologize for who they are.

So, the person won't apologize for being a cookiemonster. For being an marker. For being a drunkard. For acting like a petulant child. For being needy, vindictive, vengeful, blunt, sarcastic, arrogant, cold, etc. A person won't apologize for the flaws they let encroach upon their relationships, and ruin them.

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

And this is why I hate people.

The end.
Posted by yupvirgoo
Posted by Teena
I go on a guilt trip if I thought I said something mean even if the other person has been nasty or even if it's someone else's fault to start with. I won't say sorry if it's not my fault. But I always try to reconcile.I don't expect any explanations if someone has done me wrong. I mean... Explanations didn't somehow make more sense than a simple sorry to me ever. I'm letting it go anyway..so they won't make me feel any better. I appreciate it tho. N if I think I did hurt someone, I'd try n explain if confronted coz interpretations can be made very differently n they maybe totally off at times.But I sometimes also just leave it there if I think someone doesn't deserve an explanation.N I would say sorry if I'm really wrong. I'm pretty aware of what I say. So I wouldn't say something if I know it'd hurt someone just like that unless I really want to. I'll try not to say anything which I think I'd regret either way.


So you're the sort to let it go with either sorry or an explanation.

I have a friend whose girlfriend cheated on him with an ex and when he confronted her about it, instead of apologizing she said: "I just don't love you that much, the way that I do him."

This was like salt on the wound to him.

But I said: "Hey at least she explained herself."

He didn't talk to me for months lol.
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I don't blame him. I wouldn't have talked to you for months either.

Explanations and apologies are bull butter when it comes to broken hearts.

Posted by narleycharley94
I think that we are the most passionate lovers of everyone hands down, I think since we are very picky lovers, once we fall for you it's a wrap!
It takes me what seems like an eternity to move on from someone if I fall in love because of the investment.
Do you guys think we are the strongest lovers ? If so would you say it's a gift or curse ?


No.

Stroking the ego again, 'eh? Every Virgo I've known hates pride and arrogance when they see it. Every Virgo I've known has been the best at it. Aside from Leo's. And that Scorpio/Libra dude I know.

"We really are the best at ABC. Virgo's are really the most/best blah, blah, blah."

Whatever.

My brother is the best treetrunk up I've ever known. He's a triple Virgo.

My exfriend is the best marker his family, my family/friends, and I have ever known.

I gotta hand it to you, no one can bring another human to tears, heartbreak, and perhaps suicide with criticism alone quite like a Virgo. And when y'all are wrong, no one is better at skirting around the issue, brushing it aside, and hiding from the truth like a coward than a Virgo.

Yeah, maybe you're right. Maybe you Virgo's really are the "best."