Sex, Orgasms, Love and other things of the sort

I read a lot posts where the woman usually says "he only wants sex" or "he used me for sex". I would expect that a man who is interested in me envisions that we will get to the point of sex/intimacy/making love/fucking (whatever description strikes a person's fancy). We women kid ourselves when we think a man should not be thinking about this. Doesn't mean you have to have sex with him. But when a women does and things don't work out she says he used her for sex especially when a monogamous relationship has not been established. If you are going to have sex without establishing that you want a relationship then don't expect more from the man and don't blame him. Just have the sex, get your orgasm and go on your way (sometimes things happen but this should not be made into a habit). If you want a relationship then make it known before you have sex or don't have sex until he brings it up and says he wants one and he is showing you with his actions that he is into you. If he can't give you one (which he says or there is inconsistency or lack of action on his part ) you keep it moving.

I'm just sayin.

Yeah I never got the "he's used me for sex" Didn't you fuck him to? Relationships built on sex will never last. Idiots.

Posted by ellessque
Things would be a lot easier if both parties were honest.

I would respect a man a whole helluva a lot more if he just said, "look, i'm just looking for a good fuck, i'm not really interested in anything more than that."

would i turn him down? probably. but obviously, if he chooses to play a game thinking he has to do some sort of imaginary bullshit to get in my pants....he's asking for the drama.

people can't be honest anymore and that's what irritates me the most about dating.

Elle, I feel your pain, but have you ever met a man and wonder how it would be to bed him? I'm not talking about fwb relationships, which continually contributes to the ruin of the dating/cess pool. I'm saying you like this guy and he likes you (and yes he wants to have sex with you) but you want to have sex too. It is a game for men. Look at the fact that men love sports. Football, baseball, basket ball are all games. Each team has their own strategy that they use to get them to their desired end result. Mens end result is sex, women's is love. Me personally I want both. Either way both have to come up with the strategy to get to the desired result. It's called playing your cards right. Honesty is def an issue, but if you are getting to know a man there will be signs.

I tend to think it's both sides women and men like to fuck. It's a cool conversation to have with open minded people then you get the girls who act like they've never seen a dick. Guys just tend to be more stupid then girls I hate weak dudes I run circles around girls.

Posted by ellessque
i don't like feeling i wasn't given choices. both parties should always have choices and define exactly what they want out of the situation. that in itself, reduces a whole mess of drama and hurt feelings. it shouldn't have to be that complicated.

In a perfect world that makes sense, but it's not. You just have to continue to guard your heart until you know you can trust a person.

Posted by blueribbons

Posted by GeorgiaPeach

Posted by ellessque
Things would be a lot easier if both parties were honest.

I would respect a man a whole helluva a lot more if he just said, "look, i'm just looking for a good fuck, i'm not really interested in anything more than that."

would i turn him down? probably. but obviously, if he chooses to play a game thinking he has to do some sort of imaginary bullshit to get in my pants....he's asking for the drama.

people can't be honest anymore and that's what irritates me the most about dating.

Elle, I feel your pain, but have you ever met a man and wonder how it would be to bed him? I'm not talking about fwb relationships, which continually contributes to the ruin of the dating/cess pool. I'm saying you like this guy and he likes you (and yes he wants to have sex with you) but you want to have sex too. It is a game for men. Look at the fact that men love sports. Football, baseball, basket ball are all games. Each team has their own strategy that they use to get them to their desired end result. Mens end result is sex, women's is love. Me personally I want both. Either way both have to come up with the strategy to get to the desired result. It's called playing your cards right. Honesty is def an issue, but if you are getting to know a man there will be signs.

it sounds like you're saying sex is all guys are after ..

I agree with the "getting to know" the man part. If people went at a slower pace, and weren't all about instant gratification, we'd all be better off.

click to expand

I'm not saying that that is all a guy is after, what I'm saying is men are naturally wired to want to have sex with a woman they are interested in whether he wants a one night stand or a committed relationship.

Posted by ArticleL
I tend to think it's both sides women and men like to fuck. It's a cool conversation to have with open minded people then you get the girls who act like they've never seen a dick. Guys just tend to be more stupid then girls I hate weak dudes I run circles around girls.

I know I definitely do and I'm not offended by a man who can come out and say he wants to sleep with me. Doesn't mean I will do it, but if I feel the same then I will start laying out all the terms to the man because just because he says he wants sex doesn't mean he doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't want love also. If he can't hang with the guidelines then I move on, but if he can then I get what I want and he ends up with what he wants. It's a win win situation.

no shit men WANT sex- its the basic nature of ANY and ALL species to have sex! and dont even give me that bullshit of 'oh woman want real love while men just wana fuck' it goes both ways for both genders- simple as that.


conclusion:
some people want sex and love in a relationship
some people want sex.

gender goes unnoticed

Posted by GeorgiaPeach

Posted by ArticleL
I tend to think it's both sides women and men like to fuck. It's a cool conversation to have with open minded people then you get the girls who act like they've never seen a dick. Guys just tend to be more stupid then girls I hate weak dudes I run circles around girls.

just because he says he wants sex doesn't mean he doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't want love also. If he can't hang with the guidelines then I move on.

click to expand

Nice and I agree especially on the guidelines I think alot of whining/problems could be solved if people laid out standards. If it's not going in that general direction no need to talk/harp on it but if you see you got a dummy (dummy tendencies, drooling) then you need to put him back in line.

@Westside, Agreed.

not read everyones post but just in response to "relationships based on sex dont work" i disagree. me and my boyfriend are together because our "casual sex" was the most electrifying mind blowing sex, that there was no way we could go back to sleeping with anyone else. we had both never connected that way through sex with anyone before.

yeah its weird just seemed like a perfect physical/emotional/spiritual connection, in a way we fell in love through sex, and we both knew the other felt the same and it scared the hell out of us! lol. we were both looking for a fwb situation and now we're saving to buy a house together 🙂

If someone was using me for sex than I was probably using them too.

I mean it goes both ways.

Though In all the FWB situations I have had, I was always asked to be the girlfriend later on.

So when I hear people talk about being in these kind of situations and it never going anywhere, my hit is the woman asked for it too soon.


I think people want what they can't have. I don't ask so they end up asking.


You don't have to marry or " be " with every person you sleep with. Sometimes it is " just sex " that is fine.


If it goes further than maybe there is something special there. cool! If not why the hell would you cry over it?


All you did was fuck this person.


It's not like you lived together, shared a pets, shared families, secrets, and everything that goes with actually being with someone.

Falling in love with sex sounds like sometime between fucking her brains out you begin to find emotion. I could be wrong.

Posted by GeorgiaPeach

Posted by blueribbons

Posted by GeorgiaPeach

Posted by ellessque
Things would be a lot easier if both parties were honest.

I would respect a man a whole helluva a lot more if he just said, "look, i'm just looking for a good fuck, i'm not really interested in anything more than that."

would i turn him down? probably. but obviously, if he chooses to play a game thinking he has to do some sort of imaginary bullshit to get in my pants....he's asking for the drama.

people can't be honest anymore and that's what irritates me the most about dating.

Elle, I feel your pain, but have you ever met a man and wonder how it would be to bed him? I'm not talking about fwb relationships, which continually contributes to the ruin of the dating/cess pool. I'm saying you like this guy and he likes you (and yes he wants to have sex with you) but you want to have sex too. It is a game for men. Look at the fact that men love sports. Football, baseball, basket ball are all games. Each team has their own strategy that they use to get them to their desired end result. Mens end result is sex, women's is love. Me personally I want both. Either way both have to come up with the strategy to get to the desired result. It's called playing your cards right. Honesty is def an issue, but if you are getting to know a man there will be signs.

it sounds like you're saying sex is all guys are after ..

I agree with the "getting to know" the man part. If people went at a slower pace, and weren't all about instant gratification, we'd all be better off.

I'm not saying that that is all a guy is after, what I'm saying is men are naturally wired to want to have sex with a woman they are interested in whether he wants a one night stand or a committed relationship.

click to expand

And that is ok, so long as he doesn't forget to mention he is just after a ONS.
I am naturally wired to want sex too, but am not interested in wasting it on some ONS guy.
As long as everyone is honest there shouldn't be any problems.

Posted by ArticleL
Falling in love with sex sounds like sometime between fucking her brains out you begin to find emotion. I could be wrong.

yep your wrong 😛 haha. THROUGH sex not WITH it. Cant really explain it, ive experienced the whole "realising you have feelings for your fwb" thing but thats not what im on about. its an unspoken connection that was felt through sex. suppose it wont make much sense if you havnt ever experienced it.

i agree about the honesty thing. most people feel "used" when they have been fed lies. if a guy pretends to be into a girl, takes her out, gets to know her, tells her he loves her, beds her, then she finds out he's married, of course she will feel used. if he told her he's married and looking for an affair then the woman can make an informed decision and cant moan about being used when he goes back to gis wife. scenario can also be switched to a married woman because men and women are both as bad as eachother when it comes to lying to get what they want.

Posted by libra sun
i agree about the honesty thing. most people feel "used" when they have been fed lies. if a guy pretends to be into a girl, takes her out, gets to know her, tells her he loves her, beds her, then she finds out he's married, of course she will feel used. if he told her he's married and looking for an affair then the woman can make an informed decision and cant moan about being used when he goes back to gis wife. scenario can also be switched to a married woman because men and women are both as bad as eachother when it comes to lying to get what they want.

LMAO. And if you find out he is married and tear him a new one, then ring his wife and tell him what a skank her husband is then she can make an informed decision about whether to dump his sorry azz or stay and bitch at him for the rest of his life.
We are only as good as the information we receive and I guess each individual uses information differently.

Posted by libra sun
i agree about the honesty thing. most people feel "used" when they have been fed lies. if a guy pretends to be into a girl, takes her out, gets to know her, tells her he loves her, beds her, then she finds out he's married, of course she will feel used. if he told her he's married and looking for an affair then the woman can make an informed decision and cant moan about being used when he goes back to gis wife. scenario can also be switched to a married woman because men and women are both as bad as eachother when it comes to lying to get what they want.

I seriously think this is why I am afraid to date older men.

dickheads come in all age groups Sag89!!

Posted by ReallyNiceAriesPerson
dickheads come in all age groups Sag89!!

True

Posted by libra sun

Posted by ArticleL
Falling in love with sex sounds like sometime between fucking her brains out you begin to find emotion. I could be wrong.

yep your wrong 😛 haha. THROUGH sex not WITH it. Cant really explain it, ive experienced the whole "realising you have feelings for your fwb" thing but thats not what im on about. its an unspoken connection that was felt through sex. suppose it wont make much sense if you havnt ever experienced it.

click to expand

Agreed its just sex to me.

Posted by ArticleL

Posted by libra sun

Posted by ArticleL
Falling in love with sex sounds like sometime between fucking her brains out you begin to find emotion. I could be wrong.

yep your wrong 😛 haha. THROUGH sex not WITH it. Cant really explain it, ive experienced the whole "realising you have feelings for your fwb" thing but thats not what im on about. its an unspoken connection that was felt through sex. suppose it wont make much sense if you havnt ever experienced it.

Agreed its just sex to me.

click to expand

Maybe I am reading it wrong when people say things like "it's just sex to me"

I don't have "just sex" - for me it is a mind blowing, head board splitting fuckfest of awesome proportion (even if it is 'just a quickie') and sometimes reading through these threads I feel like a bit of a weirdo, but now I understand....
I have Venus Aries and Mars Sagg and you can't fight city hall!!!

".....sexual relationships that offer only basic gratification are essentially useless to you...."

Posted by GeorgiaPeach

Posted by blueribbons

Posted by GeorgiaPeach

Posted by ellessque
Things would be a lot easier if both parties were honest.

I would respect a man a whole helluva a lot more if he just said, "look, i'm just looking for a good fuck, i'm not really interested in anything more than that."

would i turn him down? probably. but obviously, if he chooses to play a game thinking he has to do some sort of imaginary bullshit to get in my pants....he's asking for the drama.

people can't be honest anymore and that's what irritates me the most about dating.

Elle, I feel your pain, but have you ever met a man and wonder how it would be to bed him? I'm not talking about fwb relationships, which continually contributes to the ruin of the dating/cess pool. I'm saying you like this guy and he likes you (and yes he wants to have sex with you) but you want to have sex too. It is a game for men. Look at the fact that men love sports. Football, baseball, basket ball are all games. Each team has their own strategy that they use to get them to their desired end result. Mens end result is sex, women's is love. Me personally I want both. Either way both have to come up with the strategy to get to the desired result. It's called playing your cards right. Honesty is def an issue, but if you are getting to know a man there will be signs.

it sounds like you're saying sex is all guys are after ..

I agree with the "getting to know" the man part. If people went at a slower pace, and weren't all about instant gratification, we'd all be better off.

I'm not saying that that is all a guy is after, what I'm saying is men are naturally wired to want to have sex with a woman they are interested in whether he wants a one night stand or a committed relationship.

click to expand

Shit, some women are "wired" the same way.

Posted by libra sun

Posted by ArticleL
Falling in love with sex sounds like sometime between fucking her brains out you begin to find emotion. I could be wrong.

yep your wrong 😛 haha. THROUGH sex not WITH it. Cant really explain it, ive experienced the whole "realising you have feelings for your fwb" thing but thats not what im on about. its an unspoken connection that was felt through sex. suppose it wont make much sense if you havnt ever experienced it.

click to expand

I know EXACTLY what you mean. You can't explain the connection. You just feel it & know it when it transpires.

Posted by GeorgiaPeach

But when a women does and things don't work out she says he used her for sex especially when a monogamous relationship has not been established. If you are going to have sex without establishing that you want a relationship then don't expect more from the man and don't blame him.

Additionally, a woman usually uses her sex appeal to make herself attractive/desirable to him.

If you are going to USE your sexuality to bait him into the net ... you can't very well bitch because he wants to use your sex you offered him as a promise of goods if he bites the hook.

The right up along the lines a woman who wears low cut tops so her cleavage shows and the has an attitude because a guy looked at her tits.


jesus christ .... women are the epitome of double standards

Posted by ReallyNiceAriesPerson

Posted by ArticleL

Posted by libra sun

Posted by ArticleL
Falling in love with sex sounds like sometime between fucking her brains out you begin to find emotion. I could be wrong.

yep your wrong 😛 haha. THROUGH sex not WITH it. Cant really explain it, ive experienced the whole "realising you have feelings for your fwb" thing but thats not what im on about. its an unspoken connection that was felt through sex. suppose it wont make much sense if you havnt ever experienced it.

Agreed its just sex to me.

Maybe I am reading it wrong when people say things like "it's just sex to me"

I don't have "just sex" - for me it is a mind blowing, head board splitting fuckfest of awesome proportion (even if it is 'just a quickie') and sometimes reading through these threads I feel like a bit of a weirdo, but now I understand....
I have Venus Aries and Mars Sagg and you can't fight city hall!!!

".....sexual relationships that offer only basic gratification are essentially useless to you...."

click to expand

Different perspectives when sex comes first it's fucking when mind comes first It's something different.

relationships based on sex def do not work. maybe for a time but it all comes crashing down sooner or later. once you're done having sex, what else are you gonna talk about if it is just based around fucking? that in itself is a confusion of lust for love. i've been in situations where it ends badly even when there's communication. i mean real communication, like setting ground rules and such. it doesn't work, and if it does, it's gotta be like a 1% margin. one side usually always wants more than the other. it's not worth it.

having sex first doesnt change a persons personality. If two people are right for eachother then they will be together whether they fucked on the first or the 50th date.

having sex first doesnt change a persons personality. If two people are right for eachother then they will be together whether they fucked on the first or the 50th date.

Posted by westside
no shit men WANT sex- its the basic nature of ANY and ALL species to have sex! and dont even give me that bullshit of 'oh woman want real love while men just wana fuck' it goes both ways for both genders- simple as that.


conclusion:
some people want sex and love in a relationship
some people want sex.

gender goes unnoticed

Truth all day long..

Posted by libra sun
If two people are right for eachother then they will be together whether they fucked on the first or the 50th date.

this could be true, but you have to look at all the crap that comes in between...

if you fucked on the first date, you may face more difficulty in setting boundaries, emotional involvement, reading and learning about each other.

if you wait until the 50th date.. or whatever, you might have an easier time working out kinks and establishing communication without the added responsibilities/pressure involved in a sexual relationship

it's like spontaneously buying a car... then realizing any hidden problems that have come with it. you have a financial investment now that may cloud your judgement. you may feel resentment , pressure, cornered or the worst... obligated to make this purchase work

as opposed to... taking your time and doing the research in finding a car that you feel comfortable purchasing. any hidden problems can be faced because you have a pretty good idea of what you're getting yourself into

Posted by ellessque
Things would be a lot easier if both parties were honest.

I would respect a man a whole helluva a lot more if he just said, "look, i'm just looking for a good fuck, i'm not really interested in anything more than that."

would i turn him down? probably. but obviously, if he chooses to play a game thinking he has to do some sort of imaginary bullshit to get in my pants....he's asking for the drama.

people can't be honest anymore and that's what irritates me the most about dating.

Yah, this was a hard realization to find out that no one felt that way about dating except me. Dating in my twenties were really rough.

Women use their sex appeal to catch the man .. which means she is "using" herself, with unspoken promise of sex.

her sexuality is a tool used to get him


And all this crap about men being honest is a load of bullshit ... every single one of you women spewing that bullshit knows full well that when you have chemistry with the guy, this chemistry IS sexually based.




jesus christ ..... you will just always blame it on the guy, won't you .. and never hold yourself accountible for being a direct participant in him thinking you're going to be fuckable

it is different ways of looking at fuckability.....

I think "do I want to still be going down on this guy when he is 80 and in a wheelchair?"
and a guy may be thinking "Well bonking this chick will save me having to jerk off tonight."

As they say - different er, strokes for different folks

Posted by shellshocker

Posted by libra sun
If two people are right for eachother then they will be together whether they fucked on the first or the 50th date.

this could be true, but you have to look at all the crap that comes in between...

if you fucked on the first date, you may face more difficulty in setting boundaries, emotional involvement, reading and learning about each other.

if you wait until the 50th date.. or whatever, you might have an easier time working out kinks and establishing communication without the added responsibilities/pressure involved in a sexual relationship

it's like spontaneously buying a car... then realizing any hidden problems that have come with it. you have a financial investment now that may cloud your judgement. you may feel resentment , pressure, cornered or the worst... obligated to make this purchase work

as opposed to... taking your time and doing the research in finding a car that you feel comfortable purchasing. any hidden problems can be faced because you have a pretty good idea of what you're getting yourself into

click to expand

Or you could spontaneously buy a car and discover its the only car you want to drive for the rest of your life 🙂 .If its right it's right. If two people arnt right 50 dates wont help them, will only help them stay in denial longer lol.

Also people are a lot happier and more willing to compromise in a relationship aslong as theyre getting a good fuck haha. When the sex stops is when the problems start!

Posted by P-Angel
Women use their sex appeal to catch the man .. which means she is "using" herself, with unspoken promise of sex.

her sexuality is a tool used to get him


And all this crap about men being honest is a load of bullshit ... every single one of you women spewing that bullshit knows full well that when you have chemistry with the guy, this chemistry IS sexually based.




jesus christ ..... you will just always blame it on the guy, won't you .. and never hold yourself accountible for being a direct participant in him thinking you're going to be fuckable

The truth hurts.