kindness
@kindness
11 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 152 · Topics: 20
Sizzle to Fizzle
Sorry I find this hilariously ironic when I read your avi. Carry on.
I had a virgo do that to me once. Probably analyzed himself out of another date. lol!
I gave him two weeks, then met my aqua. Haven't given the virgo much thought sense.
🙂
I gave him two weeks, then met my aqua. Haven't given the virgo much thought sense.
🙂
Posted by kindness
So, I wrote a thread a bit ago about my date with a Virgo, and well... it appears to have fizzled. I have listed the sequence of events below in a nutshell:
1. First date= awesome
2. Week later outting with him and his friends to a comedy show
3. The Sunday after the comedy show, he sent me a text and said that we should get together this week, I told him that sounds good, and just let me know.
4. He sent a text that Wednesday and said that his week got busy and let's shoot for the weekend, I responded and said not a problem, sounds good to me.
5. Haven't heard from his since that Wednesday.
It would have been one thing for him to not have texted or suggested we do anything at all, but to initiate doing something twice, and then nothing... why bother, in all honesty.
Typical Virgo move... they are so flaky! They often get too tied up with their job and other things that dating/relationships get put on the back burner.
eeeeh could be that he's just being the typical flaky Virgo
Or that you're not that important to him yet. A person may like you, crush on you & have a genuine interest in you initially, but if you're not considered 1 of their top priorities at the time, there's a good chance you may have to take a backseat to the things they were prioritizing at that time (work, school, family issues, personal issues, health issues, other friends, other potential romantic interests, etc.)
Doesn't mean that it's fair to the person left hanging, but hey, that's absolutely how some folks are. Not only are they that way, but they wouldn't believe the audacity of others to knock them for it lol
What matters though is how they recover. If they take too long to re-initiate things, to get the spark back or to give you the reassurance needed to make up for the gap, then chances are they weren't that into you.
But if they come back, explain themselves openly & honestly, get the momentum back up & running and continue putting in the effort to make sure their actions are reflective of their interest in you (especially if/after you've voiced your concerns), that's all that matters. And if he comes back & does this, don't hang on to the 1 time he was being flaky.
Let the 1st time slide. But when it becomes a pattern, run.
Or that you're not that important to him yet. A person may like you, crush on you & have a genuine interest in you initially, but if you're not considered 1 of their top priorities at the time, there's a good chance you may have to take a backseat to the things they were prioritizing at that time (work, school, family issues, personal issues, health issues, other friends, other potential romantic interests, etc.)
Doesn't mean that it's fair to the person left hanging, but hey, that's absolutely how some folks are. Not only are they that way, but they wouldn't believe the audacity of others to knock them for it lol
What matters though is how they recover. If they take too long to re-initiate things, to get the spark back or to give you the reassurance needed to make up for the gap, then chances are they weren't that into you.
But if they come back, explain themselves openly & honestly, get the momentum back up & running and continue putting in the effort to make sure their actions are reflective of their interest in you (especially if/after you've voiced your concerns), that's all that matters. And if he comes back & does this, don't hang on to the 1 time he was being flaky.
Let the 1st time slide. But when it becomes a pattern, run.
Fo shizzle, my nizzle.
Krysenee7: yeah, I totally get what you're saying. I'm sure I took the back burner to other things he has going on, being that we've only hung out a few times, I wouldn't expect to have become a priority so soon. I suppose I'm just a bit bummed as I feel I didn't have the opportunity to get to know him more and perhaps develop into someone more. We had such great conversation, and I find myself yearning for more, it's not too often that I can sit with someone that I hardly know and just have an in depth conversation with. Who knows, he may come around or he may not, my thread is just an act of me thinking out loud if you will :-)
I totally get it. Even though a woman may know that her jumping to conclusions may be wrong, that still may not change the fact that she can't help but to do so in her mind lol
Of course we imagine the worst thing possible being the reasoning behind a man's words/actions.
Honestly, I don't think him cancelling 2 dates should be deal breaking. If you 2 have worked up enough of a connection/momentum that created a strong mutual interest, it'd be silly to let sticks thrown ruin a potentially brick foundation.
Sometimes how much you put up with or shrug off depends entirely on how much you like them lol The guy you're falling for slowly after 1 month might get way more free passes than the guy you just met a week ago
Just talk to him about it. Don't make too many assumptions or overanalyze this to death. Communication shouldn't just start & become a priority after a relationship becomes official. It should start beforehand.
But hey, if you feel that him cancelling twice or seeming distant already is a good cause for you to entirely disconnect & reconsider things, then hey, that's how you are & how you feel and I can't knock you for being true to yourself & to what you want in matters of love/dating. Everybody has their own set of standards/expectations...What may seem petty or a shrug off to one may be considered potentially deal breaking for others.
Just talk to him about it. If he doesn't address how you feel or attempt to give you any reassurance AND if the pattern continues, then yeah, run. He's not the right guy. But you'd be surprised. He might totally tell you. And I'm sure he'd respect that you asked him vs. coming up with 100 worst case scenarios in your mind lol
Men can't stand women who automatically jump to conclusions just like women can't stand men who randomly and suddenly get distant or show inconsistency. Ugh, gotta love the dating life lol
Of course we imagine the worst thing possible being the reasoning behind a man's words/actions.
Honestly, I don't think him cancelling 2 dates should be deal breaking. If you 2 have worked up enough of a connection/momentum that created a strong mutual interest, it'd be silly to let sticks thrown ruin a potentially brick foundation.
Sometimes how much you put up with or shrug off depends entirely on how much you like them lol The guy you're falling for slowly after 1 month might get way more free passes than the guy you just met a week ago
Just talk to him about it. Don't make too many assumptions or overanalyze this to death. Communication shouldn't just start & become a priority after a relationship becomes official. It should start beforehand.
But hey, if you feel that him cancelling twice or seeming distant already is a good cause for you to entirely disconnect & reconsider things, then hey, that's how you are & how you feel and I can't knock you for being true to yourself & to what you want in matters of love/dating. Everybody has their own set of standards/expectations...What may seem petty or a shrug off to one may be considered potentially deal breaking for others.
Just talk to him about it. If he doesn't address how you feel or attempt to give you any reassurance AND if the pattern continues, then yeah, run. He's not the right guy. But you'd be surprised. He might totally tell you. And I'm sure he'd respect that you asked him vs. coming up with 100 worst case scenarios in your mind lol
Men can't stand women who automatically jump to conclusions just like women can't stand men who randomly and suddenly get distant or show inconsistency. Ugh, gotta love the dating life lol
Yeah, I'm not really bent out of shape about it, I more or less just think it odd behavior. Should he come around, I'm not going to mention it, since it doesn't really bother m as it does interest me. A good friend of mine is flaky, good intentions though, after getting to know him through the years, it just comes from a place of trying to make everyone happy. It use to frustrate me, but now I understand it and it's just how he is, it's his nature. Perhaps it's the Virgos nature as well, so I'm not peeved about it. It would, however, have been different if we had set plans, which we didn't, so I'm ok with it.
Aaah, I gotcha.
Well yeah, just be observant. And if it ever does begin to bother you, don't feel bad for it. Hell, flakiness is not technically considered a good thing lol
And just b/c something may be in someone's nature, doesn't change the fact that what they may be doing or not doing is still annoying & can affect the momentum in a situation.
I'd say just let it slide for now. Who knows, he's probably got so much going on, on top of also having to mentally stimulate & give his attention to other folks too. It's only natural that eventually someone or something's time will be cut short temporarily.
If this becomes a pattern, either mention it & observe how he problem solves the situation OR run b/c extreme flakiness is a sign that someone is not dependable or reliable which should be damn near deal breaking when considering whether or not to go forward with someone romantically. The things we let slide in the beginning may turn out to become huge problems later that we wished we would've addressed & nipped in the bud sooner lol
Give him a free pass on this one :-)
Well yeah, just be observant. And if it ever does begin to bother you, don't feel bad for it. Hell, flakiness is not technically considered a good thing lol
And just b/c something may be in someone's nature, doesn't change the fact that what they may be doing or not doing is still annoying & can affect the momentum in a situation.
I'd say just let it slide for now. Who knows, he's probably got so much going on, on top of also having to mentally stimulate & give his attention to other folks too. It's only natural that eventually someone or something's time will be cut short temporarily.
If this becomes a pattern, either mention it & observe how he problem solves the situation OR run b/c extreme flakiness is a sign that someone is not dependable or reliable which should be damn near deal breaking when considering whether or not to go forward with someone romantically. The things we let slide in the beginning may turn out to become huge problems later that we wished we would've addressed & nipped in the bud sooner lol
Give him a free pass on this one :-)
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1. First date= awesome
2. Week later outting with him and his friends to a comedy show
3. The Sunday after the comedy show, he sent me a text and said that we should get together this week, I told him that sounds good, and just let me know.
4. He sent a text that Wednesday and said that his week got busy and let's shoot for the weekend, I responded and said not a problem, sounds good to me.
5. Haven't heard from his since that Wednesday.
It would have been one thing for him to not have texted or suggested we do anything at all, but to initiate doing something twice, and then nothing... why bother, in all honesty.